The Things No One Else Sees

He was in a suit. He had two suits that he kept at his house in Newport Beach. This wasn’t really the place he dressed up in because summers were for shorts and T-shirts and baseball caps. But he had kept the suits just in case. It was one of those moments he was glad of it.

He kept pacing the living room. What would she look like? Deep down, a part of him was afraid she’d come out prancing around like Destiny and he’d loose all hope of finding a real woman who wouldn’t play mind games with him. When she finally came down the steps with her shoes in her hand, he almost laughed in relief. He should have never been worried. Lucy looked like herself, just more polished.

Her hair was up with a few tendrils down and tucked neatly behind her ears. Her makeup was light, but her lips were tinted a coral red. The dress looked perfect on her, showing just enough of her legs to make him want to pull the hem up some more. And the loose fit of the dress above the tight hem just hinted at her figure. He knew she had a great body underneath, but she wasn’t really one to show it off. In fact, it took him a while to figure it out since she seemed to dress down to avoid standing out. He didn’t really understand that since every woman he’d dated had gone out of her way to get attention through her clothing.

“I can’t walk down stairs in these heels,” she said, adjusting her glasses and looking up at him for the first time. He almost smiled when he saw her jaw drop just a little bit. “Nice suit,” she said after three long seconds of silence.

“Thanks, I thought I looked pretty dapper.”

“Yeah, you do. You clean up nice, Lupul.”

“We have to wear suits on game days,” he explained.

“Really? Just so you can take them off again to get into your hockey... stuff?”

He shrugged. “It’s a business. Got to look professional.” Joff extended his hand to her. “Ready for some great seafood?”

She looked at his hand and then back up to his face. “Ready,” she replied, slipping the heels on and walking past him, ignoring his outstretched arm. He watched her open the door to the garage. Oh, he thought, so it’s like that. No pretending this is anywhere near a date.

It only took a few minutes to get to The Cannery. He left the keys with the valet and dropped his name at the door. He’d called that morning for reservations in the hopes that Lucy would agree to dinner. Their table was outside on the patio overlooking the water. And it was small, forcing them to sit close together with knees almost touching beneath the table.

“Wow, beautiful view,” Lucy said, looking out across the view. It was just a finger of water they were sitting on, the equivalent of a wide, man-made river that came off the bay to help with fishing and boat traffic. But it was gorgeous, especially at night with the soft lights of The Cannery lighting it up. He’d gone here for drinks before with his friends, but he’d never actually had a formal dinner at the place.

Joff nodded. “Yeah. It’s always beautiful here. Warm weather and so much water. I hope you’re having a good time this week.”

She tugged at a tendril of hair that had curled around her ear. “I’m having a great time. Thank you for inviting me.”

“See, was the thank you so hard?”

Chuckling, Lucy said, “It’s getting easier. The less of an asshole you become, the easier it is for me to be nice to you.”

“You’re such a charmer, Lucy. I’m surprised you don’t have friends all over the place with that kind of attitude.”

“I know. I’m a people person.”

He laughed at her straight-faced comment. After a moment, she succumbed as well, amused at how ridiculous both of them had been for disliking each other for over two years before they realized how much they had in common.

The waiter took their order and left them to sip on cocktails and try not to look at each other as they sat awkwardly at the table. Finally, Lucy cleared her throat and leveled her gaze on him. Joff shifted in his chair. Her eyes had depth and that was scary. Jacob had said she would eat him alive, and he was beginning to think there might be some truth to that. “So, let’s talk about these naked pictures you did.”

Her suggestion threw him off. He’d been prepared for anything, but not that. Finding her looking at the magazine yesterday had been amusing, but he hadn’t thought much of it. Nudity just came with the territory when you were a hockey player. Locker rooms were filled with people. He was comfortable with his body and didn’t mind having his clothes off. The offer to feature him in the Body Issue was easy to accept because it was something he’d probably never get the chance to do again. He assumed Lucy appreciated the pictures for what they were, but didn’t assume she was pining after him since she’d seen them. She wasn’t that kind of girl.

“What about them?” Joff asked, meeting her gaze.

“Why did you do it?”

“Because they asked and it sounded interesting--something I’ll probably never get to do again.”

“Exhibitionist?”

He laughed softly. “Not really. I’m used to changing in a locker room full of guys. I’m not modest, but I don’t go around flashing my dick. You think they’re okay?”

Lucy’s eyebrows went up. “They’re great. You looked great. But I think you know that.”

“I was just fishing for a compliment from you.”

“Do you like playing hockey?”

He didn’t even have to think about his answer. “I love playing hockey.”

“What’s your favorite thing about it?”

That he had to stop and think about. What was his favorite thing about it? “That’s a hard question,” he told her.

Lucy shrugged and put her red lips around the straw of her drink.

He averted his eyes because he couldn’t think and watch her do that at the same time. What was his favorite thing about playing hockey? “The rush, the moment everything comes together and time feels like a slows down so you can make the perfect play. And scoring. I love scoring.”

“Do you think I’m crazy for not loving hockey?”

Joff smiled. “Yes. Does it bother me that you don’t watch it? No.”

“Why?”

She was full of questions tonight. “Because it’s nice to have a friend who doesn’t care about that part of my life. Helps to balance me out,” he said.

Lucy put her drink down and sat back in her chair. “Jacob says you’re the best player on the team.”

He smiled and shook his head. “That’s just a matter of opinion. He’s my friend so he has to say that.”

“I bet you’re pretty good,” she told him, giving him that penetrating look that made him nervous and excited at the same time.

“What makes you say that?”

“I’ve seen the way you throw cash around at bars and clubs, so you probably make a ton of money. Almost every time you go somewhere you get recognized by at least one person, so you must be pretty popular. Women practically throw themselves at your feet, so you must be one of the better players because success can be like an aphrodisiac. Plus, you’re you. I can’t see you being subpar at anything.”

“Wow, Lucy. Let me hold onto the table so I don’t fall out of my chair after all those compliments.”

She smiled. “They weren’t compliments, just observations. You look good naked, too. That’s a compliment.”

He almost did fall out of his chair at that comment. Instead, he averted his eyes and laughed. Since when did he get embarrassed when a girl said he had a nice body? Lucy was laughing with him, her hand held delicately up in front of her mouth.

His stomach was in knots, and he wasn’t sure why. Things were going better than he could hope for, but he was still on edge with her, worried she’d shut him down. And he didn’t want to be shut down because the flirting and the fledgling friendship were delicious. He’d never done it this way before and it felt good.

They sobered up as the food arrived. He ate too fast because he felt anxious. She was concentrating so hard on her filet that it was almost funny.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you that you’re a dick,” she said halfway through dinner.

His head shot up to look at her. “What? Why?”

“You paid for my dress and shoes.”

Shit. He tried to keep a straight face. “No, I didn’t. You gave the girl your card.”

“But she used yours. I saw you try to be sneaky and slip it off the counter when I wasn’t looking.”

“Oops,” he replied, giving her his best you-got-me look.

“I’m torn. I don’t know if that was an asshole move or if you were just being super nice.” She went back to eating, pushing the steamed vegetables around on her plate.

Joff said, “I was being super nice, obviously.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Lucy replied, giving him another penetrating look.

*********************************

They lingered at their table for longer than was necessary. They each had another drink, but drank them slowly as they talked about their jobs and then, inevitably, music It was almost ten o'clock when they pulled into his garage and trudged up the stairs.

Without really thinking about it, he started pealing off his suit when he stepped onto the main floor of the house. He always made a mess when he got home from games. The jacket came off in the kitchen and got thrown on the pristine counter. His tie was loosened by the time he stepped into the living room. He pulled it off and tossed it on the arm of the couch. When he turned around to find Lucy, she was standing a few feet behind him.

"What?" he asked. She was looking at him strangely.

She lifted her brows. "I thought you were stripping. You've lost two pieces of clothing before you even made it to the bedroom stairs."

Joff was feeling playful, and she was watching him with those eyes. Slowly, he reached up and undid the top two buttons of his dress shirt. "Well, if that's what you were expecting, I guess I'll go ahead and finish stripping."

Lucy's face flushed in the dim light of the living room lamp. "This isn't a photo shoot or a locker room, buddy. Keep your shirt on."

"This is my house. An even better place to take my shirt off," he replied. Two more buttons were undone.

She pushed past him and started up the stairs. "Exhibitionist. I knew it. No wonder you had nude pictures taken."

He smiled and followed her up the stairs to the third floor. "I just like to watch you squirm because you think I'm hot."

"Don't get a big head, Lupul. And I'm not squirming. I'm avoiding." She disappeared into the guest room.

Joff pulled off the rest of his clothes and tossed them on his bed. He knew she wouldn't come out right away, but he left his door open anyway. So what if she saw him naked for real. Plus, he still wanted to listen to some music with her before they went to bed. He pulled on a pair of shorts and T-shirt before putting on his favorite album by The National. They had to listen to it tonight since the concert was tomorrow. Barefoot, he walked out onto the balcony and dropped into one of the chairs. The warm breeze felt good on his face, and he was pleased with how the day had gone.

"What's this I hear?" Lucy shuffled out onto the balcony and sat down beside him. She was back in her little shorts and tank top, and she casually propped her bare feet up on the railing. Joff ran his eyes up her extended legs, wondering how smooth they were.

"Boxer," he finally answered.

"The best National album," Lucy replied.

"Damn right."

"Although," she added, "I think Buzzblood Ohio is the best song."

He looked over at her. "I never could figure out what that one was about."

She was looking out over the water toward the dark horizon. "It’s poetry. Whatever you need it to be about. I always felt like it was about longing. Longing for a place or a person. Not really bad or good, but just there and strong and tumultuous. Saudade at it’s most potent."

“Saudade?”

She looked over to hold his gaze. “It means longing. An unnamed yearning of the soul. I think Nick Cave said it was ‘the desire to be transported from darkness into light, to be touched by the hand of that which is not of this world.’”

Joff didn’t know what to say. Her answer threw him off because it was thoughtful and smart and perfect. Saudade. Love. Longing.

When he didn’t respond, she continued. “It goes right along with duende. That’s having soul. Having a heightened state of emotion and authenticity. I think it’s rooted in flamenco music and is supposed to be the physical or emotional response to music.”

“I don’t know what to say,” he admitted. “I feel like you just schooled me. I’ve never heard those two words.”

She looked away. “I devour articles, essays, and lectures of music. It’s my way of listening without actually listening. Because you can’t listen to music all the time, right?”

He sat there silently beside her as the second track finished and the third started. "Lucy?"

She looked over with a small smile on her face. "What, Lupul?"

"I'm glad we started talking."

"What? Are we in grade three? Thanks for being my friend?"

He laughed. "Hey, don't be a bitch. I'm trying to have a moment here."

"Sorry," she said, wiping the look from her face and trying to be serious. "I'm glad we're friends, too. Mostly because you have this amazing house, and I'm totally coming here next summer. As long as you promise not to bang gross chicks in your bedroom."

He swallowed. He wouldn't be banging any chicks but her if she spent another summer here. "I promise I won't bang any chicks but you if you come visit again."

Lucy choked and then reached over to punch his shoulder. "Gross! Don't even joke about friends with benefits, Lupul. I already told you I'd punch you in the balls."

They both chuckled at her joke, but he was trying not to take what she said to heart because he wasn’t really kidding. He wanted to take her to bed and let her whisper all that shit about longing and physical responses to music and authenticity in his ear while he gently took her glasses off, pulled her panties down, and buried himself so far inside her he wouldn’t even know where he ended and she began.

Silence descended again and they listened to most of the fourth song without talking. He alternated between staring out over the dark ocean and staring at her little toes curled against the railing of the balcony. When he didn’t think she’d notice, he’d let his gaze drift up her pale legs. But he stopped at the knee because while turning his head would give him a view of her thighs, but it would also tip her off that he looking his fill.

“This is my favorite,” he told her when the fifth track started.

She looked over at him, her lips parted in surprise. “Really? Slow Show is your favorite?”

Joff nodded. “Why do you look so shocked?”

Her gaze turned back out over the water. “I don’t know. It just doesn’t seem like your kind of song.”

“Why? Because it’s about a guy who likes a girl so much he’s afraid he’ll make a fool of himself? Because all he wants to do is come home to her and hang out, make her laugh, get her approval?”

Lucy stood up and walked to the far end of the balcony. Her arms were crossed over her chest like she was hugging herself. Had he hit a nerve? Or was she just tired of sitting? The atmosphere seemed charged, electric. Any wrong move would set one of them off. And he didn’t want to be the only one who was burning.

He felt like his heart was beating with the music. What was this? Duende, she’d said. Physical response to music. Or maybe his physical response was to her. Her and those fucking eyes and the way she looked at him like she could make him the happiest man alive and tear him apart all the the same time. This was why he dated women like Destiny. Because this shit was too scary.

Notes