One Shots

"What are you doing here?"

"I was in the neighborhood."

"In southern California? You just happened to be in SoCal and in the neighborhood." He nodded and I rolled my eyes. "You were always such a bad liar Sid."

"I brought wine," he offered, holding out a bottle of red. I mulled it over for a long minute before turning on my heel and walking back in the house. I could hear him shut the door followed by the quiet drop of his shoes and my heart clenched as I dropped onto the couch.

"Glasses?"

"Above the stove." I shouted, listening to him putter around the kitchen as I pulled my knees up to my chest.

He slipped into the living room and set two glasses on the coffee table, followed by the bottle and a cork screw. I looked up at him and back at the wine as he turned on his heel.

"Your parent's place is nice. Is this you?" He stood in front of a collage, me on every first day of school, and I nodded. "You were so cute when you were little."

His voice was steady, casual as he spoke, and a hot ball of anger began to spin in my stomach. I eyed his back as he turned away to look at more pictures. His broad shoulders, muscles flexing through the thin shirt he wore, and they tapered down into the sharp v of his abdomen. His ass was... the same as always and memories of us came flooding back.

"What are you doing here, Sidney?"

He stiffened and took a deep breath, dropping a sharp exhale before he spoke. "I miss you."

The air in the room felt thick and heavy and my chest tightened before he spoke again.

"I miss you, so much Rachel."

"And you came here to tell me that?"

"I came here to talk." He turned towards me and made his way over in two long strides, dropping onto the ottoman in front of me and reaching for my hands. I crossed my arms over my chest and recoiled as much as I could. "Rach, please?"

"Sidney, I distinctly remember telling you I didn't want to talk. For a while, if I remember correctly."

"It's been seven months."

"Not long enough."

"Too long for me." He smiled softly and set his hand on my ankle, delicate and warm as I blushed. "Nothing is the same- I'm not the same without you."

My resolve melted but I forced a brave face, setting my mouth in a hard line and clearing my throat. "Well, I'm sorry but I have a boyfriend."

"No you don't."

"You don't know that."

He slid his hand a bit higher and my body reacted before I could stop it, my legs falling towards him and pulling me closer. His face was now a few inches from mine and I could smell his cologne.

"It's not serious. I mean, not yet." I added confidently, my eyes on his as his hand settled on my knee. "But he's sweet and funny. He's a nice guy."

"Have you slept together?"

I sat back at the question, my heart racing as he stared at me intently, and I dropped my gaze to his shoulder. Anywhere but his eyes as he repeated the question.

"We have, yes. But I don't see how that's any of your busi-"

"Is he better than me?"

"Sidney?!" I snorted, pushing his hand off and leaping off of the couch. I made my way towards the front door and he followed me, his steps heavy on the hardwood floors.

"Does he care about you? Does he tell you you're beautiful everyday?"

"I think you should go." I said, my hand on the door knob.

"Does he carry you to bed when you fall asleep on the couch? Does he watch crappy tv with you and- and go on junk food runs? What about when you're sick? Does he take care of you?"

Tears had begun to sting the backs of my eyes and I wrenched the door open, the cool night air hitting me in the face. "You need to leave. Now, please."

"Does he love you, Rachel? Do you love him?"

"What if I do Sidney? What does it matter to you if I do? He makes me happy and he makes me feel beautiful. And if he's going to be late, he calls and lets me know. He doesn't disappear for the night and show up the next day with flowers, he communicates! And he makes me feel wanted. He makes me feel needed."

I didn't realize how much my voice had raised until it broke, my last thought lingering in the air between us as his eyes dropped. His hands hung at his side for a moment before he reached out to brace himself against a wall.

"Did I not make you feel wanted?" He asked softly.

I shook my head and closed the door, leaning my back against it as I slid down. He pushed off of the wall and sat across from me, crossing his legs and reaching for my hand again. I let him take it this time and he set his thumb in my palm, his other hand on the back of mine. His voice was heavy when he spoke again, tears darkening his lashes as he blinked them away.

"I'm so sorry Rachel. I never knew."

"You never asked. Four years together Sid, four years and you and I never had that conversation. And you got so busy with the team and you just... I didn't know how to start it."

"You shouldn't have had to." He sniffed, wiping his eyes. "You were... always there for me and I fucked up."

I didn't know what to say so I sat quietly, letting the reality of this sink in. It felt so good to have him here, to see him vulnerable and honest for the first time in a long time, and I wanted nothing more than to curl up on his lap.

"Rachel, can I make it up to you? Can I show you how much I need you?"

Notes