“Babe?”
Jacob poked his head around the bathroom door, and spoke loudly over the sound of water from the shower.
“Hmm?” Juliette replied.
“I’m gonna go back to the apartment and change, I’ll be back in an hour or so to pick you up.”
“Okay!” she replied and continued to sing along to The Smiths.
Juliette inhaled deeply, taking in the sharp smell of pink grapefruit, hoping to shake off the last remnants of sleep.
“Take me out toniigght… where there’s music and there’s people and they’re young and aliivvvee”
Juliette felt good. She felt invigorated, almost as if she’d been awakened from a fitful slumber. The voices in her head that tormented her, telling her she wasn’t good enough, were silenced and all she could hear was his lilting voice and birdsong. She rinsed her body and shut off the water. “What the actual fuck am I going to wear?” she mused, regretting her decision the night before to get rid of Suze so eagerly; she was good at this sort of thing. Picking up her phone she pressed call, Suze answered within two rings.
“Soooooooooooo, what happened? Spare no detail! Did you sleep with him? Was he amazing? He looks like he would be amazing! Is he there now? What are you…”
“Suze!” Juliette shrieked. “What’s with the third degree?”
“Come on! Please, give a girl a little. Will’s parents have taken us to the Golf Club, the FUCKING GOLF CLUB, Jules – I’m losing my mind. So come on, I want all the dirty, sordid details”
“What even makes you think we had sex?” Juliette said with a laugh.
“Give me a break! Of course you had sex with him, you harlot. I’d be calling you an idiot if you didn’t, he’s a fucking beautiful specimen of man…”
“It was in the shower”
“NO WAY! Yaaasssss girrrrlll, get it!” Suzanna sassed causing Jules to giggle. “How was he?”
“Fucking incredible.”
Suzanna could hear the smile in Juliette’s voice.
“But that’s not why I called!” said Juliette “I need fashion advice. We’re going on a date to Stanley Park and then getting food and I don’t know what to dooooooo.”
“Where are you going for food?” Suzanna tried to help her friend.
“I don’t know” Juliette answered.
“Jesus Julie, give me something to work with”
“Well I don’t” whined Juliette. “I literally have no clue where we’re going, I think it’s casual though, I mean we’re going for a walk around the park, so it’s not like I’m going to be opting for a high heel, or should I? On the account of dinner and stuff…”
“No. Girl, if you wear a heel you are going to regret it all fucking afternoon.” Suzanna reasoned. “What’s the weather like?”
“It’s so cold that Jean Claude Van Damme is filming a fucking Coors Light commercial out the front of our house”
“Right. Lemme think. Probably too cold for a dress, even with woolly tights.”
“I would definitely say so.” Juliette stated.
“So, that would leave you with the option of jeans. You’re going to be doing a lot of walking, so maybe your Timberland boots? The ones with the fleecy cuffs? And put that cream cable knit sweater on too – you look cute in that – oh and your parka with your red oversized tartan scarf. Done.”
“Really?” Juliette asked. “It won’t look ridiculous? I don’t want to look like I’m about to take him hiking out in the Yukon…”
“Sweetie, it’s cold, dress weather appropriately for fuck’s sake. Also, he’s seen you naked. Anything you wear now is irrelevant.” Suze said, fighting back a laugh.
“Oh great! Thanks for that, Suze.” Juliette’s voice was dripping with sarcasm.
“Eh, all in good fun, Jules. Seriously though, you’ll be fine, Sweetie. You’re an absolute knockout.”
“Thanks, Suze. What would I do without you?”
“Walk round Stanley Park naked.”
***
Their breath rose in soft plumes, swirling about them before disappearing into the air. They walked amiably together, sometimes in silence, but always in full enjoyment of each other’s company. Juliette allowed herself to relax, there weren’t as many people about as she thought there would be and as they approached Beaver Lake, which stood still and quiet, she wondered if they were the only two people in the park. Jacob reached for Juliette’s mittened hand and took it in his own, as if it was the most natural thing in the world for him to do.
“We need to even the playing field a bit” Jacob announced. “I want to know more about you, you don’t talk about yourself much.”
“There’s not much to tell” Juliette replied. “I haven’t led a very exciting life.”
“What about your family? Your surname alone is very Swedish.” He encouraged.
“That’s because it is” she confirmed. “My dad’s Swedish, my mom is Icelandic but I was born in Canada. They emigrated here before I was born, my brother was only little.”
“A fellow Swede! Can you speak Swedish?”
“Lite. Jag är dock inte så bra.”
“Not bad for someone who says she’s not very good” he smiled. “So, where are your parents at? They in Vancouver?”
“They used to be” Juliette said sadly. “Dad passed a couple of years ago, mom took it really hard. We all did. She moved back to Iceland to be with her sisters and my grandmother, who has Alzheimers, I don’t think Grams has long left either. As for Ralof, his job took him to Calgary, I’m the only one left in Vancouver; Suze is pretty much the only family I have.”
“Jesus, Jules. I’m so sorry” he said quietly.
Juliette could see the mixture of sadness, pity and guilt in his eyes and squeezed his hand reassuringly: “It’s fine, honestly. I’m okay, I mean, I am now. Suze has been amazing. That house, it’s all hers… well, her dad’s, he bought it for her, but she wanted a roommate and I sorta just fell into it, she took me in, as broken as I was, and helped me through it all. She’s been my lifeline.”
“And what about your mom? Do you still see her? How could she just leave like that?”
“I don’t think it was a decision she made lightly” Juliette said, hoping she didn’t sound too defensive. “She just couldn’t bear the thought of being in this city, in our old house, without Pa. Once she heard that Grams was getting worse she knew she had to go back, she had to be there for the end… Me and Ralof, we’re all grown up, we told her we’d be okay. We got an apartment together and then Ray was told he was getting transferred to Calgary. He wanted me to go with him, couldn’t stand the idea of leaving me behind, but my life is here. It’s all I’ve ever known, this is my home. I had to move out of the apartment, my salary wasn’t enough to cover rent and it wouldn’t have felt right living there with anyone other than my brother. So I moved out and that’s how I ended up where I am now.”
Jacob was stunned, his heart overwhelmed with sympathy for this woman. She had suffered so much and yet still stood before him with the apparent courage of a lion, undaunted and unfazed by the emotional trauma that would have felled him. He admired her, he admired her resilience and strength and her ability to grow and flourish in what can only be described as a shitty situation.
“I can’t even begin to imagine what you went through, Jules” he said quietly. “You’ve been through hell.”
“You learn to weather these storms, I guess. You have no other option but to weather them; you could either crumble and fall or be moulded and sculpted into something better and stronger than before. In a way I surprised myself, thinking back to how I felt after dad died, at the time I couldn’t imagine ever feeling whole or strong again. It was like I was being ripped apart from the inside and I couldn’t see a way forward, until I realised that I had to. I had to be strong because if I wasn’t then I would have no life left to live.” She paused to look at Jacob, whose face was sorrowful. “Hey,” she said. “That’s all in the past. I’m here, now, with you. We’re together, it’s fucking freezing, but we’re here having a really nice walk in the sunshine. There’s no need to be sad.”
Jacob cupped her face in his hands, her cheeks warm and rosy, and kissed her tenderly, first on the mouth and then on the end of her nose.
“You are sunshine, you know that? Actual fucking sunshine” he said, beaming at her. He looked into her eyes, getting lost in their grey depths and found himself uttering words he couldn’t stop himself from saying, even if he tried:
“Jag tror jag älskar dig”

Juliette felt her breath catch in the back of her throat. Her heart swelled and her stomach knotted and the words tumbled out of her mouth in a similar fashion:
“Jag tror att jag älskar dig också”

Jacob’s face lit up. Embracing her, he kissed her lovingly and deeply, not caring that their walk had taken them in full view of passersby who began stare, clearly recognising him. He was lost in her kiss, entangled in her very soul and he had no desire to leave. For the first time in his life since moving away from his family, he felt like he was home.

Notes