Chance Encounters of the Canuck Kind

Jacob slammed his stick into his stall.
“FUCK!”
The Canucks had lost to Buffalo 4-0 and Jacob knew that his chances of getting another start anytime soon were non-existent. He cursed himself for his performance, he knew his head wasn’t in it and in his view that was the sole reason that they lost this game.
“Hey man, don’t beat yourself up about it, we weren’t there tonight.”
The voice came from Erik Gudbranson, who was trying to reassure his goalie. He knew how tough it had been for all of them tonight, but sensed that there was something else troubling Jacob.
“No” Jacob replied flatly. “I was fucking awful out there tonight. Three of those goals were routine saves. I fucked up guys. I’m sorry. You needed me to turn up and I didn’t. There’s no excuses for that.”
He ripped his pads off angrily and grabbed his towel, heading towards the showers to wash off this godawful game.
‘First start on the road and I fuck it up.’ He thought to himself, scrubbing vigorously at his body. ‘The one time I need my head to be in the game and it’s elsewhere. Why wouldn’t she just fucking tell me what was bothering her? All of this could have been avoided. I’ve just blown any chance at a run between the pipes. Fuck me.’
He rinsed his hair and stood underneath the water beating down on him, using the stream to melt away the tension that had built up in his shoulders and neck. He shut off the water and grabbed his towel, wrapping it around his waist. He bumped into Hank on his way back to the locker room.
“Du måste rensa huvudet” (You need to clear your head) Sedin said to him, clearly disappointed with the loss. “Du kan inte utföra om du distraheras så här.” (You can’t perform if you’re distracted like this).
“Jag vet, jag är ledsen” (I know, I’m sorry) Jacob replied quietly. He hated disappointing Hank like this. He relied on him, the whole team was relying on him. “Jag ska räkna ut det, jag lovar.” (I’ll sort it out, I promise)
Hank put his hand reassuringly on Jacob’s shoulder “Call her, Marky.”
Jacob went silently into the locker room, avoiding his teammates’ gaze. He threw on his joggers and hoodie and went outside into the cool air, deciding to call Juliette and hash this out. He needed to get to the bottom of whatever it was that was bothering her, he couldn’t focus on his game if he didn’t.
“Julie”
“Hi, Jacob. Sorry about your game tonight, it looked rough.”
“It was.”
Juliette sensed he was angry and immediately felt a pang of guilt in her stomach. ‘He’s not stupid’ she thought. ‘He’ll have known something was up’ and immediately knew that her plan to keep everything from him and pretend all was fine until after the game had been an utter failure.
“What the fuck is going on, Julie?” He asked.
“I didn’t want to do this until later.” She pleaded.
“Later? When later? I’ve just fucking blown my chance at a good run because I was so distracted. I’ve let my entire team down!” His voice was becoming venomous, Juliette knew he was angry.
“This is exactly why I told you I was fine! I couldn’t have told you, it would have only made it worse.”
“Your words told me you were fine, your voice needed deliverance. How the fuck could this be any worse? I’m fighting for my fucking place in this team, Julie. If I don’t put up then I’m outta here. I’ve already fucked up my chances too many times, I can’t afford to screw up even more. This team relies on me to be on my game, I can’t be distracted by any fucking cryptic hidden messages you’re trying to tell me and hide from me all at the same time.” He was almost shouting now. Juliette recoiled at his words, she had never heard him this angry before and she felt the fury building inside of her own stomach, ready to erupt like a volcano.
“Okay! I get it, it’s my fucking fault that the team lost tonight! Of course! I was trying to help you stay on your game! You’d have been more mad if I blabbed all over the place and filled your head with all this shit!”
“IT HAPPENED ANYWAY!” Jacob was shouting now, filled with frustration and annoyance. “ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS WHETHER YOU WERE OKAY, I DIDN’T WANT TO FUCKING BE THERE TONIGHT, I WANTED TO BE WITH YOU TO MAKE THINGS BETTER. I WAS SO FUCKING DISTRACTED THAT I LET IN THREE SOFT GOALS, THREE JULIE! THAT CAN’T HAPPEN! IT JUST CAN’T FUCKING HAPPEN.”
“I’M SORRY THAT YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING HOCKEY GAME, JACOB. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR? I’M SORRY, OKAY? ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? CAN YOU FUCKING SLEEP BETTER TONIGHT?” Juliette’s voice was filled with wrath. She knew she was being irrational and that it was important that Jacob stay focused, especially on the road, but she was so enraged that the words tumbled out of her mouth before she could catch them:
“IT’S QUITE CLEAR THAT HOCKEY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME, SO I’LL LEAVE YOU TO IT. I WON’T CALL, I WON’T WHATSAPP YOU. I’LL LEAVE YOU WELL ALONE.”
She hung up the phone. Jacob tried to protest but all he was met with was a dead phone line. Antagonised by her outburst, Jacob kicked the door in fury, screaming at the top of his lungs. He re-entered the KeyBank Centre and slammed the door shut behind him, the sound reverberating along the hallway. He wanted a drink desperately. Anything to numb this shitty feeling that was consuming him, anything to make the sound of Juliette’s shouting disappear. He grabbed his things from the locker room, which had thinned out since his departure, and headed towards the team bus. Sitting himself in his usual spot he stared blankly out the window, not noticing Sutter who had decided to sit next to him.
“You look like you need a friend.” Sutter said.
“Hmm?” Jacob was broken from his trance.
“ ‘Sup, buddy?”
“Oh.” Jacob didn’t want to bother Sutter with his drama, but judging by the look on Suttsy’s face, he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. “Just bothered about tonight, man.”
“And the rest of it…” Brandon coaxed.
“Just had a massive blowout with Julie, I think something happened earlier today, I could hear it in her voice when we talked before the game but she said she was fine.”
“Maybe she was fine?”
“She definitely wasn’t fine” Jacob replied categorically. “I know her, I know her voice. I can hear when she’s upset. She wouldn’t tell me, I know why – she didn’t want to throw me off my game…”
“But it’s been all you’ve been able to think of.” Sutter finished Jacob’s statement for him.
“Yeah.”
Jacob heaved a big sigh. He wanted to go to Juliette more than ever and hold her so tightly. He wanted to kiss her and tell her he was sorry a million times over for raising his voice at her.
“She told me she wouldn’t bother me anymore while we were on the road.”
“Is that what you want?” Sutter asked incredulously.
“No. God, no. That’s the last thing I want. I can’t imagine a day without her voice.”
Sutter sat quietly for a moment, thinking about Markstrom’s situation.
“I think you need to give her tonight, give her space. She’s hurting and she probably feels responsible for tonight. She needs time to calm down, you do too. Call her tomorrow and work this out.”
“You think she’ll want to speak to me? I was fucking awful to her.” Jacob asked doubtfully.
“I do.” Sutter said assuredly. “I don’t think for one second she meant it when she said she wouldn’t call you. Just like you didn’t mean it when you insinuated that tonight’s loss was her fault.”
“You heard?” Jacob’s face glowed in embarrassment.
“Yeah… I wasn’t snooping, bud. I just happened to be passing when you blew your lid and went full shouty Viking.” Sutter punched Jacob’s arm playfully. “You wanna go out for a drink tonight?”
Jacob thought for a second. “No, I don’t think I will. I’m going to hit the gym at the hotel, do some weights. Sweat this out.”
“You want a spotter?” Sutter asked.
“Sure, man. That would be great.”
***

Notes

There was too much love going on, it had to happen eventually.