AUTUMN LEAVES

Sidney walked around the cabin’s living room inspecting some of Nate’s mounted animal heads. He never pegged him as a hunter. Over the fireplace was the largest display, one of a deer. As he looked more closely, he noticed a large digital frame on the mantel.

He turned it on out of curiosity and smiled instantly. The first photo greeting him was that of the woman he loved. She was smiling widely, hands on her waist, a cowboy hat that was definitely not hers on her head, the lake sparkled behind her, and the lush green forest surrounded her on a clear summer day.

The photos switched to another picture of Autumn and Tiffany grinning, Autumn face had icing on it. It must have been her birthday, Sidney thought. Then the next photo was of Autumn alone, wearing a very short skirt showing off her tanned legs as she played the guitar on the cabin’s porch, not paying attention to the camera. As the slideshow continued, Sidney’s smile started faltering as he realized that all those photos were of Autumn, the rare ones where there was other people, she was in there too.

He manually started to flip through the albums, impatient to confirm his suspicion. His jaw tightened seeing that Autumn was in all of the photos, either alone or with Nate, Tiff or someone he did not recognize. As he looked at the thumbnails of the 135 photos, he counted only 10 were she was with someone else. There was 125 pictures of her alone on Nate’s digital frame, he thought, sickened by his conclusion. The creep. You don’t do that if the girl was just a friend, Sidney thought furiously.

Was Autumn aware of this photo library of her in Nate’s cabin? Should he bring this topic up? Was now the right time? She will certainly find Nate an excuse. Sidney was now sure, more than ever, that the bastard had more than an innocent brotherly love for Autumn. He was now determined to make Autumn realize this one way or another. He may not even need to do that though. They will be moving away from Pittsburgh where she will not see Nate anymore. Suddenly, he remembered that his agent had left him a voicemail. He stepped outside to call him, deciding to let go of Nate’s topic for the moment. They had enough problems to deal with, his contract being only one of them.

*****

“Are you done already?” Sidney asked annoyed as he walked in the bedroom after finishing his phone call. “What’s with you this morning?” Autumn asked as she paused to look up at him. “You can still join me you know, it’ll be fun,” she suggested.

Sidney narrowed his eyes at her, “for the last time, I’m not letting you paint my nails!”

“Well, that’s your loss. I have black and gold,” Autumn said chuckling as Sidney furrowed his eyebrows. She chewed on her lips as she realized that her joke was not at all funny, especially with Sidney being on edge ever since he woke up. She set her nail polish aside and tiptoed towards him slowly, not to ruin her freshly painted toes.

She linked her arms around his neck and kissed him softly. She could feel how tense he was. “Who was on the phone?”, she asked as she ran her fingers over his light stubble.

“Pat,” he answered faintly. “He’s coming here tonight,” he added, still frowning

Autumn was surprised that Pat will come all the way to the cabin. “Here? Did you tell him about us over the phone?” she inquired.

“No. There was some changes in his schedule. He said that he can come tonight so we don’t have to wait until next week. He sensed that this was an urgent matter so he did not seem to mind coming all the way here,” Sidney said as he held her to him.

“So, he’s gonna come here and see us together and…”, Autumn said nervously.

“I was thinking to talk to him alone. He doesn’t have to know that you’re here. What do you say?”

“I agree. I wouldn’t be comfortable being part of that conversation anyways. But Sid, isn’t he gonna wonder what you’re doing here all alone in the middle of the woods?” Autumn asked.

“He’s very respectful of my privacy. He may not even ask. He will probably figure it out on his own at the end” Sidney said.

“And so it begins,” Autumn whispered as she buried her face in his shoulder. She heard him exhale shakily. He was nervous too.

*****

“Sid, what are you talking about?”, Pat Brisson asked stupefied.

“I’m asking you, if I were to leave the Penguins, what are my options?”, Sidney repeated his question for the third time, fully understanding how confused his agent was feeling.

“Are you sure that’s what you’re asking me?” Pat asked again. “What’s going on? Your contract isn’t up until 2023, why are you asking this?”, Pat inquired.

The two sat in the living room, Autumn nowhere in sight as planned. She stayed quiet in the closed bedroom where she could still hear the conversation clearly.

Pat demanded an explanation, and Sidney couldn’t have expected anything less. “I don’t want to stay in Pittsburgh”, Sidney simply stated. Pat was surprise, leaving Pittsburgh was the last “urgent matter” he could have thought of when Sid asked him to come.

“For personal reasons”, Sid added. He wanted to spit the truth out, but he did not know where to start.

“So, you’re talking about voiding your contract and negotiating a trade?”, Pat asked, trying to understand what Sidney suddenly wanted, three months into the hockey season.

When Sidney nodded, Pat stood up and started pacing. Muttering about how difficult to get out of his airtight contract and what was he thinking. “Something must be really wrong for you to leave this franchise and I won’t do anything until I fully understand what’s going on. Sid, I’ve known you since you were like 16. That’s 14 years. You owe me this much”, Pat said firmly.

“Pat, please, it’s very personal. Can you just tell me about my options”, Sidney tried, hesitant to tell him the real reason all of a sudden.

Pat sighed heavily, knowing how private Sidney was, he probably will not be getting a clear answer. “Sid, don’t you think that whoever may be involved in any negotiation would want to know why the Penguins captain is leaving his team? That he’s breaking his contract to do it? It will be the first question they ask me, what do you want me to tell them?”, Pat said, finding it difficult to remain calm.

“You won’t tell them shit! It’s none of their business, their only business is hockey and not my personal life. Got it?”, Sid spoke harshly. He was finding it hard to tell his agent that he’s planning to leave Penguins to be with Mario’s wife. If telling your agent seems that difficult, how on earth are you gonna tell your teammates, your family, or Mario? Sidney thought to himself.

“You want me to say that I don’t know? that my client doesn’t trust me enough to tell me? How do you think this is gonna look, for me and even for you?”, Pat tried to reason with Sidney.
Taking a shaky breath, Sidney ran his hand in his hair frustrated. Pat was right. He knew he had to give him something.

“Fine, but if I were to tell you, you will keep it to yourself, you will not tell any other human being. You can come up with another excuse for the negotiation, at least for now”, Sid said. Pat was getting more and more worried with every word that his client and friend was saying.

“Sid, whatever it is, you know you can trust me. I’m there for you as your agent and as your friend. Now please tell me what’s going on, you have me very worried here”, Pat said as he sat down and gestured for Sid to sit in front of him.

“It’s for a woman”, was all that Sid could say. Pat was shocked and Sidney had to chuckle since this was the easy, least shocking part of his revelation. Pat waited patiently for him to continue before asking the million questions going through his head.

“I…had to make a choice if I want to be with her. It boiled down to me staying here and risking losing her and potentially my career on the long run”, the Pens captain said, but he kept to himself the fact that the only way he will stay in Pittsburgh is if Mario never found out. But that was impossible if Autumn was leaving Mario anyways or if Sidney really wanted to be with her. Either way Mario will find out and he will have to leave the team.

“The other option is, I leave the team, have a chance to be with her while I’m still able to play hockey, salvaging my career somehow in the process”, Sidney continued while Pat remained speechless, still not getting the full picture.

“You’re leaving the Pens, the franchise you rescued, and Mario, the man who made you, the man who took a beton you? All this, for a woman, Sid? I can’t believe it”, Pat asked stunned. Mario’s name was certainly bound to come up in this conversation, Sidney thought exasperated. Pat started chuckling and shaking his head at the absurdity of Sid’s “personal reasons”.

Sidney did not appreciate his agent’s reaction, he was not taking this seriously enough like he wanted him to. Pat saw the hard look that his client gave him so he spoke, “to be honest here Sid, you sound like a horny teenager. I would have expected such childish behavior when you were 18 not at 30! Are you insane? You would throw away your career for a woman! Because let me tell you right now, this is career suicide!”, Pat scolded him, hoping to get some sense into him.

“Don’t talk to me like I’m some child who doesn’t know what he’s doing. I did not ask for your opinion on my decision. As my agent, I’m asking you to look into my contract and do some scouting to get me what I want”, Sidney said firmly.

“My job as your agent is to advise you. And as an old friend, I’m telling you that this is a bad, bad decision. What did Mario say? Does he approve of this?”, Pat asked.

“Mario doesn’t know, no one knows yet”, Sidney answered, squeezing his eyes shot. “But everyone will eventually”, he added under his breath, meaning much more than just leaving the team.

This whole conversation was giving him a headache. “Listen Pat, I get that leaving the Pens is not a smart career move. I’m not an idiot”, Sidney said calmly as Pat scoffed.

“All my life I’ve put my career first, always did the right thing. I love hockey, hockey is who I am. But I want more. I met someone who made me want so much more. Why can’t I have both like everyone else?”, Sidney pleaded.

“Of course you can and you should. Which brings the question of what is it about this woman, that you can’t be with her if you’re playing for the Pens?”, Pat finally asked the key question. In Pat’s mind, this mysterious woman must live far and can’t relocate to Pittsburgh. Is she making him move for her? That was the only logical explanation that he could come up with, unless she was a Flyers’ fan? Pat could have laughed at this thought if the situation wasn’t this bad.

“She…um she’s associated with…” Sidney spoke. “Trust me, we can’t be together if I’m playing here,” he added quietly.

Pat tilted his head, not satisfied with Sidney’s answer. “What surprises me is that you come to me first and not Mario. You must be scared to tell him knowing full well that he’ll talk you out of it, right? The way I see it, you should have discussed this with him before even contacting your agent. He’s not gonna like it, not even one bit. From going behind his back, to wanting to leave his team after all these years, to doing all this for a woman…”, Pat said, shaking his head disapprovingly.

“And not any woman”, Sidney added quietly, wincing at his own comment. He knew that Pat won’t let go until he got the whole truth out of him. Pat stared at the captain who had his head low and his eyes glued to the ground, waiting for him to elaborate. “What are you talking about?”, Pat asked confused.

“I’m doing all of this for the only woman that Mario would never approve of”, Sidney answered fiddling with fingers, hoping that Pat would catch on so he didn’t have to spell it out for him.

“You mean his daughter? Are you pursuing Lauren? She’s always had a huge crush on you. But she’s too young for you and Mario will never accept. Hmm… that’s why you want to leave his team? It’s starting to make more sense now”, Pat jumped into conclusions and kept rambling on and on to a point where Sidney was fed up.

“It’s Autumn. It’s his wife, Autumn”, Sid yelled loud enough, effectively silencing Pat.

“What?”, Pat asked above a whisper. He sat down, trying hard to comprehend that his longtime client, the Pens Captain, is pursuing the Pens owner’s wife. “So, you…you want to leave the Pens to be with Autumn…Lemieux? She’s Mario’s wife… and she wants to be with you…and you’re running away with her?”, Pat said as he was trying to connect the dots, still in shock.

Sidney explained the whole story, leaving some details out. Pat listened intently, discovering that he did not know Sid as well as he thought he did.

“I never thought you would risk your career for a woman, let alone a married one”, Pat admitted with disappointment.

“She won’t stay married for long. She’s gonna ask for a divorce when Mario gets back from his trip in two weeks. I’m hoping by then you would have worked something with another team. Start with the Habs maybe. We want to be out of here as soon as Mario learns about this”, Sidney told Pat, giving him an overview of their plan.

The disappointed and judgmental look that Pat gave him said it all. Sidney averted his gaze, feeling the weight of what he and Autumn have done and what they were about to do. Run away like cowards, he thought. “I don’t have a choice, Pat.”

“Sure you do!”, Pat said incredulously.

“Not if I wanted to keep on playing hockey, I don’t”, Sidney said shaking his head.

“There is a million woman out there and you’re about to risk your career, what you worked so hard for your entire life, for the one that you shouldn’t be with! It will be a huge scandal, Sidney. I don’t want to even imagine the media nightmares that you will have to deal with? It will be the trending topic for a long while, and not only in the sports world believe me. It’s the kind of thing that ruins reputations and careers along with them. I don’t think you will ever be ready for this. You still have many years before you could think of retiring. Don’t be a Romeo and think with your head”, Pat spoke, his voice rising. He will never let Sidney do this, not if he had a say in it.

“I can’t help you do this, Sidney! I can’t watch you commit this suicide and do nothing about it. And you can be sure as hell that I won’t be the one who pushes you off the cliff,” Pat spoke, his features hard and angry.

“I will certainly NOT do any of this behind Mario’s back either. You know very well that I’ve always lived and worked by an ethic code, and that will not change now. So, give me one good reason to help you! And don’t say you love her. This isn’t high school Sidney!”, Pat reprimanded, rage plastered all over his features.

With Pat refusing his only excuse, Sidney had nothing left to say. “Sid, think about what you’re doing. Wouldn’t it be so much easier to forget about her and move on?”, Pat suggested.

“Oh yes, forgetting about her and moving on. How did I not think of that before?!”, Sidney sneered.

“I listen to you and I’m not even sure you realize how wrong and hurtful what you and Autumn have done. While the right thing may be to come clean, I do believe that some secrets are better kept secrets, for the sake of everyone involved,” Pat spoke.

“Here’s my offer. Mario doesn’t need to know, I will keep it to myself. You don’t confess anything to him, and you don’t leave Pittsburgh to start all over again, god knows where,” Pat suggested.

“Meanwhile, you forget about her. Let her leave Mario since she’s determined to do that. She should be the one to move away, not you. Pittsburgh will not be so forgiving with her the way they were withNatalie, especially with how young she is. Even if this affair did not come out, gold digger will be the slightest insult thrown at her, believe me!” Pat said with a warning tone.

“She leaves, Mario will be liberated from his disloyal wife, you will have the chance to move on, and more importantly, you will stay in Pittsburgh as the captain of your team for the rest of your career like Mario did, like you’ve always wanted to do. Everybody wins”, Pat suggested calmly, trying to convince Sidney to abandon the insanity that was his plan.

Sidney stared at Pat as he listened to his tempting alternative. ‘Everybody wins.’

That was a lie. He and Mario may, but not Autumn. She will be the victim in all of this, she will be the sacrifice.

“You’ve clearly never loved a woman before”, Sidney replied quietly. “If you’re not gonna help, I will find someone else who will”, he added, though Pat could sense some hesitation in his client’s voice.

“Well in that case, I hope you find someone who you can trust enough with this….”, Pat said, waving his arms around, unsure how to qualify the situation. Sidney watched Pat tuck his files in his briefcase.

“Pat…”, Sid pleaded, as he followed his agent out of the cabin, realizing, in a moment of regret, that he won’t trust anyone more than Pat with this life changing request.

Pat ignored him as he climbed in his rental car and drove away in the dark night. Sidney sat on the cold porch with his head in his hands. He did not expect Pat turning him down the way he just did. He took his help for granted. ‘You should never take anything for granted.’ Mario’s wise words came back to him at an unfortunate timing. This was one of the many life lessons Mario had taught him. He learned from Mario more than from his real dad. And how was he thanking him for everything he had done for him?

So Sidney did what any lost person would do when running out of options, when all hope died. He let his tears consume him, the tears of regret and fear. The big fear of losing everything, his career, Mario and Autumn all at once. This was the third possible outcome, an outcome that he refused to contemplate before tonight.

Autumn remained in the bedroom, her own tears staining the white pillow. She heard it all but wished that she didn’t. She knew that Sidney was devastated and it was all because of her. His whole life crumbling around him, because of her. She broke the man she loved. Romeo, Pat had said sarcastically. But ironically enough, she agreed with the comparison. Sidney was throwing his life away for her. She loved Sidney with all of her heart. How can she do this to him? Maybe his agent was right. She should be the one leaving.

Notes

So the series is all tied up now :(

This sad chapter mirrors my own sadness at yesterday's loss.

It's far from over though, the series and this story!

Thanks for reading

Happy weekend!