AUTUMN LEAVES

“I can’t stand and watch while you commit this suicide for me.” Autumn’s words were met with a long deep sigh.

“What are you saying?” Sidney asked.

“I’m giving you an out,” she said as she wiped her tears with his t-shirt.

“For fuck sakes, Autumn,” Sidney muttered under his breath. Every muscle in his body tensing up but he kept his arms around her, securing her to him.

“You’re giving up on us. That’s what you’re actually saying –"

“I’m not giving up!” Autumn said.

“Bullshit. Your first reaction is to always assume I will regret choosing you and to run away,” he said.

Before she could object, Sidney spoke again. “I’m tired of trying to prove it all to you every single time. Why can’t you trust me? I want to be with you, and I will find a way to fix things. We will, together. You are not walking away from me,” Sidney said.

“All I want is for you to be happy and let’s face it, you will never be happy with me. Everything that Pat said made sense” Autumn said.

“Forget what Pat said. It’s his dumb opinion–” he said.

“He turned you down because of me, Sidney. I’m not sure if he would even want to be your agent after this – because of me,” Autumn said.

“Stop saying it’s ‘because of you’. Things did not work out because of him! He was not the friend I thought he was, or the agent he was supposed to be for that matter. As far as I’m concerned, he disappointed me. He is in the wrong for not standing beside me when I needed him the most,” Sidney said.

“Same goes for anyone in my life who’s going to oppose our relationship. Those people don’t really care about me, because if they did, they would be happy for me. If they can’t see how happy you make me, then maybe I don’t want them in my life,” he continued, his mind drifting back to his conversation with his best friend.

“Sidney–”

“Enough!”, he said.

She looked up at him surprised. But as she held his gaze, his features started to soften. He closed his eyes briefly and took a deep breath.

“Autumn, listen to me. You said you want me to be happy, right?” he asked as he placed his hand to the side of her face.

“You are my happiness, baby. I chose to be with you at all cost because I can’t even imagine a life where you’re not in it. That past year, all these months when I watched you date him, marry him, I watched you be his, I was miserable, fucking pathetic.

“There hasn’t been a day when I didn’t think about what could have been. Every single day was a different kind of torment. Everything around me fadedwhen it came to you. My friends, hockey, the losses, and even the wins. I won the Conn Smythe, I won the fucking cup, but I still felt like shit because you were his. I almost told you how I felt that night, I desperately wanted to kiss you and share that win with you, but you got engaged. It broke me.” Sidney paused and sniffled, his tears betraying him as he recounted his days without her.
“And then you kissed me and all bets were off. I couldn’t stay away when you gave me some hope that maybe, just maybe, you loved me back. Your relationship to Mario was the only obstacle. It was never hockey, Autumn,” he said, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“You’re leaving Mario. Obstacle gone. And I think that I’ve heard you say that you love me or something,” he said with a smile as she wiped yet another tear.

“So, nothing is going to stand between us, nothing,” he continued, “I can figure out hockey, as long as you’re by my side. Bottom line, Autumn, you make me so happy. So, promise me now that you will never have these crazy ideas again, that we will do this together no matter how tough it may get,” he said before hugging her to him and planting a kiss on her head

“I promise,” Autumn said.

“Good,” he said with a big smile

“I love you, Sid,” she said pecking his lips. “I was never truly happy before you,” she added as she buried her face in his neck.

Sidney breathed in the sweet smell of her shampoo. “Did I ever tell you how much I love you in my clothes?” he asked.

Autumn chuckled. “Once or twice.”

“Okay…. Then, did I ever tell you how much I love you with nothing at all?” he asked.

“Uh hmm…. I would say more than once or twice,” she said grinning at him.

Sidney’s hand grazed her soft skin under the hoody and tank top, as his mouth connected with hers in a deep kiss. He gently laid her on the rug, the blanket enveloping them, his lips never leaving hers.

“Mine,” Sidney said, “forever.”

Their moans and the crackles of the burning wood were the only sounds in the room as once again, Sidney claimed Autumn his. He made love to her until his lungs burned, his forehead dripped with sweat, and until his name rolled off her tongue in a whisper of a confession. They loved each other until the very last crackle of Nathan’s fireplace.

*****

“Is what Pat said about Lauren true? She had a crush on you?” Autumn said as she fiddled with the chain around his neck.

“She tried to kiss me a couple of years ago. She was drunk though, so it may have been the alcohol. We never spoke about it afterwards. We were pretty close when I lived with them, we still are I guess, despite the age difference. She confides in me about random things she doesn’t want to share with her parents,” Sidney said.

“I don’t want to think about this. She’s like a sister to me, Autumn,” he added, making a face at the topic.

“I know, it’s just – now that I think about it, I believe she really likes you, more than just a big brother. The way she acts around you, it all makes sense,” Autumn said.

“I’m done with this topic. This is our last night here. You, in this bed, is the only thing on my mind right now,” he said as he tapped her nose with his finger.

*****

Lauren hauled her Louis Vuitton carry-on at LAX airport, heading for the gate to wait for her morning flight back to Pittsburgh. Mario had dropped her off at the airport early that morning so he could attend his last meeting, before travelling back home himself.

As she idly played with her phone, she noticed that she had a voicemail from Abby. Weird. She must have been trying to reach her father but couldn’t, Lauren thought. Or maybe it was regarding that kids’ playroom project that Lauren was helping with. She pressed the play button on her visual voicemail and listened to the message.

- “Hey Lauren, it’s Abby…sorry to bother you, but um…something came to my attention at work and…Um…”

There was a long pause. Abby’s tone was very unsettling to Lauren.

- “Can we talk? I mean, we should talk…in person…I need your opinion on an important matter…Um please call me…call whenever you can.”

And call she did.

Notes

My dear readers,

Thank you for reading this story and for your awesome feedback :)

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Charlie