AUTUMN LEAVES

Two floors up, in a room with a row of security screens and a guard that owed a doctor some favours, there stood Autumn. With the special security measures taken to ensure Sidney’s safety and privacy, Autumn has found the perfect hideaway, a place far from all the fingers of blame. She watched the man she loved alive and awake; He was even drinking and talking to his friends. He would nod and smile weakly at times, then he would frown and space out.

No one was supposed to have access to that footage except for that designated security guard who had to sign a pile of forms before taking the job. No audio was normally allowed from the privately guarded rooms, but Autumn was treading the fine line of professional conduct when she decided that she needed to hear Sidney’s voice.

With the guard standing behind her, she listened to how relieved his parents were, to how much the Pens loved their captain, and to how her name did not seem to come up in any conversation up until she heard Sidney say the word “truth.”

“No, he shouldn’t do that,” Autumn whispered feeling her heart rate pick up. She couldn’t have left that room any faster than she did. Taking the stairs two steps at a time, she made it to the guarded door. Flashing her credentials, she ran inside the private wing that held Sidney’s room. Arriving at his door, she froze, unsure of what to do next.

Behind the door, Kris was trying to avoid a new mess. “Guys, Sidney is tired. He doesn’t know what he’s saying,” he said as he squeezed Sidney’s arm to stop him from talking.

“You’re leaving the team?” Geno asked confused. “You mean until you recover, right?”

“No, it’s –”

“Sidney,” Kris said between gritted teeth. “Guys, don’t worry about it. Like I said he’s just tired. Let’s give him some space. He should be resting,” Kris said in what sounded like a command rather than a suggestion.

Once they said their goodbyes, the players started filing out of the room. When Kris went to close the door behind the last person, he stopped in his tracks at the sight of a familiar face emerging as the traffic of hockey players cleared.

Kris stepped out in the hall and pulled the door closed behind him, trying to block Sidney’s view as best as he could. “You stay away from him, Autumn. Don’t you think you have done enough to Sidney, to Mario, to this team?” Kris said as he towered over her.

But Autumn ignored him completely. She was looking over his shoulders at eyes of the man she loved, at the eyes peering at her from behind the small glass window. She couldn’t see the rest of his face, but his eyes told her that he was smiling. Tears streamed down her face when she tried to smile back and failed.

When Kris looked behind him, to where Autumn’s gaze went, he saw Sidney in the window and the doorknob turn. He reached for the door fast and stopped his friend from leaving the room.

“You’re supposed to stay in bed! Did you detach your IV? Are you fucking crazy?!” Kris yelled as Sidney tried to push him out of the way.

“Autumn!” Sidney shouted over Kris’s shoulder, failing to push past the defenseman. But when Kris turned around, he was staring at an empty hall. Autumn was no longer there.

“Autumn, come back!” Sidney shouted again holding on to Kris. “Where’re you going?” he asked, clutching his gown to his chest.

Once Autumn was out of sight, Kris steered Sidney back to his bed.

“Go tell her that I need to talk to her. She may have gone to her office. It’s on the 13th floor,” Sidney asked, wincing as he settled back in bed.

“Kris? Did you hear me?”

“I called the nurse to come fix your IV,” Kris said as he ran his hands through his hair, ignoring Sidney’s request.

“Remember when I told you that you were on your own? Well, not anymore, Sid. I’m not standing by anymore. I will not let you destroy yourself any further than this,” Kris said. “And I don’t know what you meant exactly, but you are not leaving this team either.”

“Kris, I –”

“No, Sid! Wake the fuck up! Mario knows and he is fucking miserable, Lauren is in jail, and your parents, I don’t even know how they’re keeping it together. You could have died because of her! If all of this was not enough for you to forget about her, I frankly think you’ve lost your mind.”

Before Sidney could muster a response, Kris spoke again. “When you’re back on your feet, you’re gonna apologize to Mario and ask for his forgiveness, even if you have to grovel. Now that, that is what you really owe your team.”

As the two friends stared at each other, a nurse walked in hurriedly along with Trina. “What’s going on? Is he okay?” Trina asked Kris as the nurse tended to Sidney.

Taking a deep breath, Kris said, “he’s fine. Autumn was here.”

“She what?” Trina asked as she stared back at both men, waiting for an explanation.

Once the nurse left, Trina took Kris to the side, “Kris, could you please make sure she doesn’t...bother us anymore,” Trina seethed, not too concerned if her son was listening.

“Mom?” Sidney was shocked by his mom’s request.

“Enough, Sidney!” She said firmly. Sidney blinked at his mother’s tone; it brought back memories of his teenage years when his mother never hesitated to reprimand him when he missed curfew.

“Your father and I know what you and that woman were up to,” she added.

“With all due respect, mom, you don’t,” Sidney answered back, his expression was hard, so was his tone.

“I don’t want to hear it, Sidney,” Trina said as she watched Kris excuse himself and leave the room.

“Have you thought about us before throwing yourself in front of that gun? Did it occur to you that your mother, father, and sister would be crushed if...” Trina said, swallowing the lump in her throat. “What would have happened to me if you…”

“Mom...”

“Don’t you see how this woman has poisoned our lives, Sidney?” Trina said to her son.

“We love each other, mom. We were gonna come clean to Mario. She was going to leave him,” Sidney said defensively. Then he looked away, knowing that his mother will not approve no matter what he said.

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that anymore. Mario knows, and he is definitely leaving her,” Trina said with a shake of her head.

Sidney frowned but stayed quiet for a few moments as he fiddled with his blanket. “Did he, um ... say anything about…it?”

“He’s busy with the fact that his daughter might be facing jail time, and with the fact that his best player is out for an indefinite time in the middle of the season,” Trina said.

“Not for once did he call to ask how you were doing. But can I blame him? Absolutely not. I can only blame him for letting Lauren go down that dark path of drugs and firearms. But again, he was too blinded by that pretty thing he married to notice his own, real family.”

“I’m sorry if this situation has caused you and dad any embarrassment with Mario –”

“Embarrassment? Is that what you think we care about? This situation had almost cost us our son’s life!” Trina said, her voice rising. She covered her mouth at her own words, as Sidney squeezed her arm. Trina leaned down and hugged her son tightly, pushing all his mistakes to the side, thankful that he’s alive. Sidney rubbed her back and realized how vulnerable his strong mother was when it came to him.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I haven’t considered how this will affect you at that moment. Protecting her was a reflex, I will probably do it all again without a second thought.”

“Oh no you won’t, Sid,” she said, looking him in the eye, clearly unhappy with what he said.

“I love her, mom. And she loves me. I know that it’s not an ideal situation,” he said. Trina huffed in response.

“You know me, mom. I was never ready for a committed relationship, but now I am. Didn’t you always want that?” he said trying to get his mother on their side.

“This is not what I wanted for you! She’s a married woman, Sidney.”

“Soon she won’t be!”

“That’s beside the point. She will always be Mario’s ex that you’ve...” Trina stuttered, “had an affair with. How can you even trust a woman who would cheat on her husband? And with someone this close to him?”

“We’ve both made some mistakes, but we are both trying to correct them,” he answered, still unable to meet her eyes.

“I’m afraid there’s no correcting those mistakes, son. What’s done is done. You can never undo the hurt you caused Mario. Your father is even worried about your future with the team after those said ‘mistakes’.”

Sidney resigned. Fatigue caught up to him; he couldn’t muster the energy to continue in that pointless argument. He has assumed that his parents would never approve of his relationship with Autumn, and risking his life to protect her has only reinforced that assumption.

*****

“Hi, you’ve reached Autumn Scott, well…not really… just her voicemail. Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you soon!”

It was nine o’clock at night, 5 hours since Sidney had seen Autumn in front of his room, and 5 hours since he helplessly watched her disappear out of view. He had called her, but all he’s got was her cheerful voicemail that mostly consisted of her soft chuckles than anything else. Before surrendering to sleep, he contemplated calling Tiffany and Nathan but hesitated when he thought about the last time he has seen them.

Four mornings have come and gone. Four long days of endless visits and phone calls, with no news of Autumn. Sidney had repeatedly asked his sister and Kris if they knew her whereabouts. After giving him the usual lecture, they would tell him that they haven’t seen nor heard from her.

Sidney was getting more and more anxious and desperate to a point where he found himself asking the nurses about Dr. Scott – which proved to be a fruitless effort. It wasn’t until he sneaked out to a certain nurse’s office, that he did finally get some answers.

“Sid?” Linda whispered in surprise. “How...can I help you?”

“Where is she, Linda?” He asked standing up from the wheelchair that a nurse was pushing him in.

“Would you give us a minute please,” Linda asked her colleague.

“Something is going on here. It’s been 5 days! I’ve been calling her and …why is she avoiding me?” Sidney asked.

Linda tensed up at his question and started pacing in front of her desk.

“Please, don’t pretend that you don’t know. I’m sure you do by now, everyone seems to know!” Sidney said rudely. “I called Tiff today. She did not answer either.”

Sidney was alarmed by the lack of response and the weary look that Linda gave him. “Linda? What’s going on? Is Autumn okay?” Sidney asked, his worry mounting with every passing second.

Linda nodded weakly, “I know that she’s sort of okay. Well, at least she will be. It’s the only thing that is consoling us right now,” Linda said, unable to contain her tears.

“Consoling you? What… Linda, please talk!” Sidney said, feeling his heart drum in his chest.

“She’s gone, Sidney. Autumn is gone.”

Notes