AUTUMN LEAVES

It was late when Autumn felt movement in her room. She had dozed off once her friends left for the evening. Her eyes were too heavy with sleep. She was also having a hard time focusing on the person standing near the door.

“Hey,” his soothing voice broke the silence. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t make it earlier. Did I wake you?” There was an unsettling familiarity in the way he spoke to her.

Autumn nodded slightly. Her heart started beating fast at that deja vu. She briefly contemplated whether she was still dreaming.

“That would be twice in one day,” Sidney said with a lopsided grin. “I can come back tomorrow if you want to go back to sleep,” he offered.

“No, it’s okay,” Autumn said quietly as she sat up and fiddled with her blanket, making sure her bare legs were fully covered. “It’s only 8 o’clock,” she mumbled not meeting his eyes.

“It was never my intention to make you uncomfortable, I just wanted to see how you’re doing. I can leave if you want me to,” Sidney was too apologetic and Autumn felt bad.

“I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay,” she said reassuringly, and this time, she gazed at him in the soft glow of the hospital night-light.

No words were said as their eyes locked, a million questions hanging in the air, a million emotions going through her mind and through his. His lips curled into a smile when her eyes left his and scanned his body from head to toe. When their eyes met again, he softly whispered, “hi.”

Autumn felt her face burn at how charming he was. “Hi to you too.”

When Sidney headed for the small couch, Autumn did something bold that surprised them both. She wordlessly pointed to the space near her legs on the bed, inviting him to sit closer to her. Sidney was caught off-guard, but he obliged. He sat facing her on the edge of her bed and seemed as nervous as she felt.

“I can’t speak too loudly, it hurts my head,” she said.

“I understand. I’ve had those a few times,” he said pointing to his head.

“I heard that I sort of owe you my life,” she said softly, tears welling up in her eyes. “Thank you.”

“No, you don’t. I didn’t do anything. I just called for help. Anybody would have done the same,” he said looking at his hands.

“You stayed by my side until help came. You also managed my wounds somehow. I can imagine how difficult it must have been for you to witness what happened to me.”

Sidney frowned, his eyes still glued to his now open palms. His breathing got shallow and Autumn noticed his hands slightly shaking. He seemed to be reliving the aftermath of her accident.

“Hey, it’s okay. Everything is fine. I’m sorry that I caused you this much distress.”

Sidney visibly gulped and looked up at her. “No, it’s just that… you… well, all the blood and… It messed me up. But I will get over it.”

Her heart sank at how much he was struggling. “You have no idea how many medical students pass out the first time they see blood. It’s not uncommon, believe me.”

“No, Autumn, it’s not that,” he said as he moved closer to her. Her stomach did a dance when her name fell from his lips.

“You don’t understand. No one does. One minute we were talking, you were all smiles and the next, you were dying in my arms,” he said looking at his trembling hands again.

Autumn was speechless as she watched how traumatized Sidney was. She could not find the right words to soothe him and it killed her.

“And I know that it does not make any sense, but I somehow feel responsible. If I had spoken to you longer, if I had the guts to ask you what I was dying to ask, none of this would have happened. That truck would have passed that intersection long before you did. You would not be here.”

“We wouldn’t be here either, though” Autumn said softly, getting his attention. Sidney gave her a confused look. She reached for his hands and held them tightly. “You cannot blame yourself for this. Everything happens for a reason. I don’t regret a thing. All I know is that you saved my life and that you’re here now,” she said with a smile that he couldn’t help but return. “We can’t change the past, Sidney. We can’t predict the future either. All we have is here and now. And guess what, here and now, I feel alive and fine. Too fine, actually,” she grinned looking at their joined hands.

They remained quiet for a few moments, their hands intertwined, before Autumn broke the silence. “What were you dying to ask me?”

Sidney’s head snapped up, his ears turned red instantly. He released his hands from hers and adjusted his hat. Taking a deep breath, Sidney thought that he was given this second chance and he will not let it pass this time. Here goes nothing.

“I wanted to invite for a coffee or dinner or something. I mean, since you hinted that you were single and were not dating a woman,” Sidney said then winced at his own words.

Too amused by his demeanour, Autumn failed to muffle her giggles. “You wanted to ask me out?”

Sidney let out a nervous chuckle, “yes. Yes and no. It’s complicated.”

“And Sidney Crosby doesn’t like complicated. You don’t date random women you meet.”

“I don’t date, period,” he answered. Scrunching his eyebrows, he avoided her gaze. “You must think it’s weird.”

“I don’t, not at all. I can imagine how difficult dating must be for someone like you,” she told him with a sad smile.

“I think I complicate it in my own head. And you, you made me question my own head,” he said, his eyes boring into her.

“I did?” Autumn said surprised. Sidney nodded and moved to sit next to her. He sighed before speaking.

“The second you closed your car door, I had made the decision of not going to the gala. I planned on avoiding you because, to be honest, I hated how much you affected me in the short time we spent together. So, when you drove away, I assumed that I would never see you again. But here we are,” he said with a grin. “I also happen to believe that everything happens for a reason. We were meant to see each other again.”

Turning his body to face her, Sidney brought his hand up to her heated face, and with a ghost of a touch, his fingers traced her cheek up to her hair. Autumn closed her eyes as he ran his hand gently through her soft hair and tucked a loose strand behind her ear. With the back of his fingers, he caressed her cheek right before his lips left a whisper of a kiss on her forehead. She melted under his soft touch.

When she opened her eyes, she was met with a pair of hazel ones tenderly gazing at her. Her hand found his cheek, and her thumb stroked him lightly. They breathed heavily, never breaking their eye contact. Sidney’s arms snaked around her, closing the gap between them. She removed his hat and ruffled his hair. His breath tickled her and anticipation could have killed her if Sidney hadn’t finally kissed her right at that moment.

His lips moved softly against hers, tasting and probing. All her senses were on a high. His bee-stung lips did not disappoint as they covered hers. His cologne made her head spin. His warm touch burned her. The sound of his breathing as he tried to prolong their kiss for as long as their lungs permitted was like music to her ears. She never wanted for that kiss to end. She never wanted for his hands to leave her skin. She never wanted him to leave her bed. She never wanted him to leave.

“I was dying to do that too,” he said when he had to break their kiss. “Me too,” she whispered back right before he captured her lips with his once again, only this time, it was a more passionate kiss that curled her toes and left her wanting more.

“Three days ago I thought that I may never get to feel what it would be like to kiss you,” Sidney spoke with his forehead on hers. “God, you’re beautiful,” he whispered as his large hands cradled her face. “You too,” she replied bashfully and Sidney grinned.

Stretching his legs on the bed, Sidney circled his arm around her shoulders and linked their hands together. Toying with her fingers, he said, “this feels right. I don’t know how to explain it. I mean, we don’t know each other, and yet I feel this connection between us. Am I crazy?”

“You’re absolutely not crazy. I feel it too,” Autumn said as she looked into his bottomless eyes.

Giving her a devastating smile, Autumn blushed and had to look away. Sensing his effect on her, Sidney found the courage to finally ask her what he’s planned on asking if she made it out of that accident alive. “What do you say, when you recover, you go out to dinner with me?”

Autumn looked up and batted her eyelashes at him. Sidney smiled nervously, “what?”

“I heard that this is not the first time you sleep in my bed, Mr. Crosby,” she said with a quirk of her eyebrow. “I believe we’re way past a first date here.”

Despite the dim light, Autumn could see Sidney blushing hard. “Hey, I’m not a creep, I promise. I just thought that you were gonna die, you looked lonely and –”

“Yeah, yeah,” Autumn rolled her eyes but couldn’t hide her smile. “So, you were saying, dinner?”

“Well since it doesn’t qualify as a first date, how about we skip dinner altogether?” Sidney suggested with a smirk and all that Autumn would recall the next morning was that, before falling asleep in Sidney’s arms, they laughed and giggled carelessly. They were young, single and free to do as they pleased.

Notes