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AAOOOSC! Wheatie Bits!

"The Waffle House"

A few minutes later, the car rolls up to a parking lot right by the foot of a two-story, humble building made of stone and lined with trimmed, short trees.

Kale and Nolan follow the Calgary native out of the car and up to the entrance of the building, stopping in front of the homey double glass doors. Nailed above the doors is a sign bearing the words THE WAFFLE CASTLE. Next to the name is a cartoon of a waffle with a face, holding a fork and wearing a typical king’s crown with a big smile.

“‘The Waffle Castle’?” Nolan reads out with irritation. He turns his unamused expression to the one who brought him here. “Really? It isn’t even a castle.”

Reid’s mighty big closed smile pops up on his face. “It’s the best!” He then pushes the double doors open and swaggers inside.

The two exchange expressions of concern before following him in.




The interior bears the atmosphere and design of a fifties diner: The walls and tiled floors are black and white. There’s an extensive countertop to the left and leather, red booths to the right. The warm smell of buttermilk pancakes mixed with bacon hangs in the air as the sound of silverware and pans clanging echoes with the subtle fifties music.

Nolan stares at the tawdry restaurant with distaste as Kale peers at it with keen interest. They are then seated in a booth by a window: Kale and Nolan on one side and Reid alone on the other side.

“This is my go-to spot,” Reid explains with passion, picking up a laminated menu that was placed on the grey-coloured table. “It never fails.” He opens up the menu and begins scanning through it.

“It’s a diner,” Nolan points out flatly, eyeing it with scorn.

His eyebrows shoot up as he peers at him from the opened menu. “Yeah! So?”

Kale is gazing down at another opened menu with disappointment. “No supper?”

Nolan turns to him. “It’s a diner.”

“Oh.”

Nolan then picks up the last menu and flips through it. There are columns and rows of tempting breakfast plates from waffle sundaes to melts to banana nut waffles to cheese omelettes to french toast—all the dishes he cannot consume.

“I can’t have anything here.” He closes the menu and drops it on the table carelessly.

Reid perks up from his menu. “Yes, you can! Just remember—” He turns the menu around to show him the kingly waffle cartoon. “Sir Wafflelot says, ‘No substitutions!’”

Nolan briskly smacks his head with the laminated menu. Reid immediately shuts his mouth and scoots away with an alarmed expression.

Kale eyes the tallest teenager with realization. “Ohhh, you’re gluten and dairy intolerant, right?”

“Yeah. I can’t have any of this.” He places his weapon back on the table.

Reid brings back his upbeat attitude, holding up the menu for the two to see. “There’s waffles and eggs-citing classics! Eggs-citing. Exciting.” A kooky smile grows on his face. “Get it?”

Nolan crosses his arms with a hard stare at the enticing menu. “I’m staying away from eggs too.”

He drops the menu with a serious, yet playful look. “Well, drop the brontosaurus diet and have something here!” He picks up the menu again and shows a cartoon of a syrup can wearing a knight mask. “Sir Up is pointing to yummy pancakes and french toast!”

“I would love to, but I can’t,” Nolan replies with an apathetic tone. “I’d get sick.”

“Sir Up. Syrup.” He pauses his increasing anticipation. “Get it?”

They then pause as a waitress approaches them and serves them three glasses of cold water. Once she leaves, Nolan smacks Reid with the menu once again.

Reid backs away with fright and quiets down.

Kale eyes his terrified friend then at his detrimental friend. “Well, at least the menus aren’t hardcover.” He shakes his menu, creating a warping sound.

Nolan rolls his eyes at him. “Come on, I’m not that cruel now.” He puts his menu down.

Reid is back to reading his menu. “Hmmm…” He rubs his chin. “Sir Robin of Flapjack is tempting me with these customizable waffles!”

Nolan jabs a tense finger toward him. “Stop it with those name puns or I’m literally gonna beat those puns out of you.”

He peers up at him with a gawk. “What, you don’t like these characters?” He shows the inside of the menu to him, displaying the cartoons. “They’re cute!”

“They’re annoying.”

“They’re…” Kale’s voice fades off as he stares at the caricature breakfast items. “...something else. Really cheesy, but I can see what this place was trying to do with them.” He then scans through the column of main dishes before peering up at Reid. “Are there any regular eggs Benedict?”

Reid holds up his index finger with a closed smile. “There’s eggs WAFFLE Benedict.”

“Eh, I guess I’ll go with that.” He shrugs with a slight frown. “Must be interesting with waffles…”

Nolan flicks his eyes down at the description of the dish with an emotionless expression. “I’ll have the cup of fruit that goes with it.”

Reid stares at him in horror. “That’s so sad!”

Nolan peers across the table at him. “That’s the only thing I can have here.” He turns to his left, spotting the cold glass of water waiting next to him. “Other than the water.” He grabs it and takes a sip from it. “I can’t even have the hot chocolate.”

“No wonder you’re so miserable.” He gazes at him with disbelief. “Your diet’s so miserable.”

Nolan holds his firm posture. “I’m just trying to stay alive and not die by what I eat.”

To change the topic of the conversation, Kale turns to Reid and blurts out, “What are you gonna have, Duker?”

Reid reverts his attention at him, his usual bright expression appearing on his face again. “I’m gonna have theee-eee…” He peers down at the menu and jabs at his chosen dish. “...ham and cheese omelet right next to The Court Eggster. Eggster. Jester.” He flicks his eyes up at the two with a grin. “Get it?”

Nolan raises up his menu by his head as a threat.

Yet he continues on: “Aaaaaand I’ll have the waffle sundae.” He pauses, eyeing the tallest teenager for any movement due to what he just uttered. “Next to Squire Browns—”

Nolan instantly swipes the menu at him.

Reid slides down, able to dodge the swinging menu. He stays in his lowered position for safety, his eyes, forehead, and spiky blond hair only visible now.

He peers up at the two friends, waiting for any reaction. After a beat, he squeaks, “Did you see Frenchie the French toast too?”

Nolan slaps his head with the menu. Reid winces at the uncomfortable, soft hit.

Nolan then pulls the menu back to himself and turns to his other friend. “Next time, we’re eating at my choice.”

Kale eyes him as he mentally scrambles for the specific “choice.” “Which would be…?”

Reid pops back up to his regular sitting position. “Oh no,” he speaks up with kooky horror thick in his voice, “not the Tofu House…!”

Nolan leans over the table, coming face-to-face with him with a mischievous expression. “Yes. The Tofu House.”

“Uggghhh…” He slumps in the booth once again with a weary expression. “Help me, Miss Muffin.”

Nolan does not fail to smack him once again for the tacky pun.

Notes

E.3 "The Waffle House"
Part 2/3
Episode 3/10


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