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Proving Her Worth

Chapter 3 - Confessions

~*~*~*~ Mallory’s POV ~*~*~*~

For the next hour we were at the club, the air was tense between Jonathan and I. I didn’t think that any of the guys had noticed but though we were seated next to each other, he had inched further away. Between his reaction to finding out that I was pregnant and the smell of alcohol that seemed to permeate from every surface I was more than ready to go home before I got sick again. When the first set of guys were ready to leave, all more than a little drunk, I’d ushered them to my car, just murmuring for Jonathan to come over when he had gotten everyone else home safe.

After dropping the guys off I headed back to my apartment and changed into a pair of sweats before pouring myself a glass of orange juice and curling up on my couch. Twenty minutes later my intercom buzzed and without even saying anything I buzzed the door open before twisting my fingers nervously in my sweater as I waited for Jonathan to arrive in the elevator.

As soon as I saw him outside my door, I opened it and motioned for him to come in before flipping the lock behind us and retreating to my couch.

“So uh...I guess you want an explanation…?” I asked, blowing on my hands to try and warm them, feeling nothing but a lingering chill since we’d left the alley.

“I mean, that would be nice.” He threw back and I sighed softly. It was hard to figure out how to explain this to someone that didn’t really know my past. My parents really didn’t understand and they’d known me my entire life.

“Okay...well I am pregnant. About 6 weeks along. I didn’t know it when you brought me home, sick, I only found out a week ago.”

“So you’re seeing someone?” He questioned and my eyes went wide as I processed what he must be thinking. Moving to rest my butt against the edge of the coffee table in front of him I caught his eye, wanting him to hear me out and try to understand.

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “This probably sounds completely crazy but bear with me. I’ve wanted to be a mom since I was like 15. Of course, back then I was smart enough to know that I had to wait for the right guy and to be financially stable before I even considered it.” I whispered taking a deep breath before continuing.

“Well, now I’ve finally obtained the financial security part of the equation. Problem is, the finding the right guy part doesn’t seem to be in the cards for me.” As I admitted that, my voice broke and I fought to keep the tears welling in my eyes from falling. “So I decided to do this on my own. I chose a sample from a sperm bank and yeah…” I trailed off, ducking my head down because saying the words artificially inseminated was still difficult.

## Jon’s POV ##

Sitting in Mallory’s living room I watched her as she tried to piece together the words of an explanation. When she declared that she hadn’t been seeing anyone, I felt a wave of relief flood through me but at the same time it left me even more confused. If she wasn’t seeing anyone was it a one night stand, she didn’t seem like that type, or was it something else.

I was so busy trying to figure out what she meant by ‘the right guy not being in the cards’ that I nearly missed her expression change before she mentioned a sperm bank before letting her words fall away.
I knew whatever I was going to say at that moment would probably offend her so I sat silently before reaching out for her hand.

“Are you happy?” I found myself murmuring and when she nodded a few tears slipped down her cheeks. I certainly didn’t understand any of this but I guess her being happy was the most important thing. Rubbing her practically frozen fingers with mine, I didn’t say anything else for another moment before the question that was gnawing at me finally slipped out. “What did you mean but the right guy not being in the cards for you?” After all, she was smart, funny, and certainly not hard on the eyes.

~*~*~*~ Mallory’s POV ~*~*~*~

Jon only asking if I was happy took me by surprise, I had honestly expected for him to walk out on me and for us to never speak again. Instead, he hand was holding mine and tracing patterns over my fingers, making me feel both warm and chilled at the same time. When he asked me what I had meant about the right guy, I couldn’t help but tug my lip between my teeth.

Standing up from the table, I pulled my hand back from his and crossed it over my chest before pacing in the small space.

“I uhh...I’ve never been in a relationship...I’ve never actually been on a date...so needless to say my hopes aren’t very high at 27. I mean I’ve had a few guys that have made it clear they’d sleep with me but call me old-fashioned, I kind of want to actually have feelings greater than lust my first time.” Glancing over at him I couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

“Are you serious? No guy has ever wanted to take you out?” He inquired as he looked up at me, the strangest look on his face.

“No one has ever asked no…” I said, letting my shoulders drop sadly. “And let’s put it this way, every guy I’ve ever been interested in has basically broken my heart without us being together so clearly it’s just not meant to be.”

“Tell me about them…” He prompted and for some reason, despite my reservations, I found myself continuing to open up to the man sitting in my living room.

“Well, there were my two best friends in high school. While I could talk to them both pretty easily, being around them physically made me uncomfortable. The one wasn’t exactly the college type so after graduation, we just drifted apart and the other one was a pro at tearing me down emotionally. Last time we spoke he told me he didn’t want to hear from me again until after I’d seen a therapist.” It was hard to fight back a sob but somehow I was able to pull myself together. “But you know what, I’m better off without him in my life.” I still did miss him at times but it was easier to just not think about it.

“Then there was a guy that was going to be in my dorm freshman year of college and we’d started talking on the dorm facebook page and found we had a lot in common. I knew he had a girlfriend but I was honestly just looking for a friend. Two weeks into the semester he started to avoid me, having his roommate lie to me and then close to Thanksgiving, I found out he was on suicide watch and had dropped out of school.”

Tears were flowing as I laid it all out there and the next thing I knew, Jonathan was wrapping his arms around me, his fingers tugging my ponytail out before tangling in my hair. After a few minutes I was able to step back and continue.

“Junior year of college I’d met a guy online through one of my roleplaying groups. I’d gotten comfortable with most of them and I shared a selfie, something that I don’t normally do with people I don’t know. He commented on me being cute and we started talking more often...admittedly it got a bit sexual.” My cheeks flushed as I admitted that to him, for some reason I cared what he thought. “But then he started talking about going off the grid completely and we got into an argument. I’d been trying to get him to ask me out for a few weeks and he only seemed to want the sexual part, fed me lines that I wish I’d never believed. It all just ended before it was ever anything.”

“And then there was my mother’s best friend’s son, someone I’d had a crush on since I was a senior in high school and he was a freshman, but even then he was so far out of my league. Tall, athletic, smart, seeing him has been torture for years.” Admitting what a failure I was when it came to relationships left me completely exhausted and I moved back to curl up on the couch, my knees pulled tight to my chest while I still could. Soon my belly would be far too large for this to be manageable.

## Jon’s POV ##

Everything that Mallory was telling me was a lot to take in and clearly a lot for her to share as well. Watching her cry made my chest ache and when she’d sunk back into the couch I couldn’t help but move to sit on the table in front of her, mirroring the position she’d had with me earlier. Now that she’d let me in on her past it was clear to me why she’d decided to go the route of having a baby alone. Still, no one deserved to feel like they were completely unlovable and that they would always be alone.

“Those guys...they’re all idiots for not seeing what was right in front of them,” I told her before reaching out to lift her chin up to look at me. “You are beautiful, even without trying.” My thumb shifted to wipe away the tear tracks that ran down her cheeks. “You are kind and smart and funny and you deserve someone that can show you exactly how you deserve to be treated.” It felt like there was a magnet pulling me closer to her by the moment and as she blinked up at me I couldn’t help but brush my thumb over her lips, thinking about what it would be like to kiss her.

Still, she’d made it pretty clear with her stories that for her to believe that anyone could want her, they’d have to move things pretty slowly.

“Go out with me…” I found myself suggesting, a half smile, a half smirk gracing my lips as I glanced toward her belly that was carrying her child. I’d never dated a pregnant woman before but I certainly didn’t think I’d mind if it was someone like her.

~*~*~*~ Mallory’s POV ~*~*~*~

When Jon sat down in front of me instead of leaving that was enough to take me by surprise, so I was shocked when he told me that all of the guys in my past had been idiots as he brushed his fingers over my face. I wanted to pinch myself because there was no way that what he was saying was actually coming out of his mouth let alone true and my pulse picked up frantically when his thumb brushed over my mouth.

“What??” I mumbled, certain that I had misheard the statement that preceded the smile appearing on his face.

“Go out with me?” He repeated shifting closer to where I was on the couch, his other hand resting on my knee. “It doesn’t have to be anything serious, but I’d like to think you had fun tonight and that I had a part in that so why not do it again. But just the two of us.”

“I…” There were no words that would form in my head. He was seriously asking me out after I’d told him just how screwed up my nonexistent dating past had been?

“Don’t make me beg…” He added winking at me, his hands shifting to take both of mine. “You can dress up, it’s a free meal. Come on Mallory.”

“I...I’m still pregnant you know…” What that had to actually do with the conversation I wasn’t sure but even if he was okay with my past there was no way he was okay with me having a baby, one that he had no connection to.

“No really?” He said lightly, clearly sarcastic. “Last I checked you didn’t have to not date just because you’re knocked up.” He declared putting on the puppy eyes that made it impossible not to agree with him.

“Fine.” I murmured after a moment, only to be pulled firmly against his chest when I did.

“I promise you’ll have fun.” He declared dropping a kiss to my forehead before squeezing me one more time and then heading for the door. “I’ll text you details, but you should probably get some sleep.”

The moment I heard my front door click behind him I flopped back onto the couch, not sure of what the hell had just happened.

Notes

Comments

cute updates!

tangerine21 tangerine21
11/29/17

Sounds like a good start. Keep it going!

tangerine21 tangerine21
10/25/17