“One day you’re gonna love again, mess up and let somebody in to every part of your whole world. You think it’s unthinkable, girl, but somebody’s gonna break those walls…”


As each day passed and July neared the end, Charlotte worried more and more about the fate of her film. The winter festivals they’d submitted to would be sending out their decisions. And their decisions would determine what level of festival circuit they would be bound to. The process had been simple: determine which festivals to apply to in the following categories; dream, competitive, and local.

Dream festivals were the big name events that even people outside of the industry knew of, like Sundance, Cannes, and Toronto. Charlotte knew that applying to these festivals was a long shot, and mostly had just applied for the sake of saying that they had. Subjectively, the crew believed their film was worthy of these massive festivals, and they hoped everyone else saw that too. Competitive festivals were the ones that they had a solid chance of getting into and being competitive in, like Los Angeles, Telluride, and Tribeca. While still prestigious festivals, they were smaller, and with a decently budgeted movie with solid talent from actors and crew, they could potentially take home any number of awards. And the local festivals were exactly that; festivals in the surrounding towns. Yes, it would still be an honor to screen the movie at these festivals, and be an even bigger honor to take an award home from them, but rarely did films that made it big at local festivals go on to something bigger. That’s why, when they applied to these different festivals, it was important to remember that where the film landed would ultimately be the spectrum of how far it could go.

Darcy saw how much she was worrying. Whenever they’d get together, he noticed her mind was always elsewhere. If they were at dinner, Charlotte would sit quietly, picking at her food. Or if they sat down for a movie, her eyes would be on the screen, but seeing nothing. She bit her nails and focused on all the ways in which she could fail at a career.

It was because of this, and because he was already training for the upcoming season, that Darcy suggested they go on evening runs together. It would give Charlotte a chance to channel her anxiety and nervousness into something active. The more she worked out, the more her brain let out hormones that made her feel relaxed. And out of it, Darcy gained a running mate. From Charlotte’s perspective, she knew Darcy fairly understood where she was coming from. She assumed it was similar to the anxiety he felt every time he was going in net. He wanted to do well because he didn’t get many chances, and the only way to get more chances was to prove himself whenever he went out there. Still, their support for each other came from a place of blissful unawareness for what the other truly did. Charlotte had never seen Darcy play hockey before. She didn’t know what his warmup or pregame routines consisted of… hell, she didn’t even truly understand how physically and mentally taxing his job could be. And he didn’t really know what it meant to produce a movie. Maybe he had the general idea of being in charge of money and babysitting on set. But he didn’t know that at the cost of everyone being able to do their jobs without a hassle on set, Charlotte had to constantly put herself on the line. When the movie they budgeted for reached forty grand, Charlotte singlehandedly took the abuse from all the investors just so her crew could go out and make the movie, and create the art they wanted. And more than that, she couldn't let anyone see that she was taking the abuse. Never let ‘em see you sweat. Who thought she’d actually learn something in film school?

After one of these runs, which lasted longer than usual because Charlotte kept urging them to go just a little bit further, she tossed her keys to Darcy so he could open up the front door while she checked her mail. Anxious or not, she couldn't deny the fact that Darcy always looked so damn good after a run. More times than not, like today, he’d take his shirt off halfway through and drape it over his shoulders. She admired his physique as he stepped up to her front door, and then forced herself to keep to the task at hand. After searching her mailbox, and taking out the few bills inside, she entered her apartment, where Darcy had left the front door open for her.

She was shuffling through the bills, hearing Darcy in the kitchen, pouring some water. They’d probably order something in for dinner and curl up in front of the TV so he could watch it and she could worry some more.

“You didn’t tell me you were going back to school,” Darcy called from the kitchen.

Charlotte looked up. Even though she couldn’t see him from her place in the living room, she furrowed her eyebrows, confused, “what?”

“Isn’t TIFF that school in New York?” He came out from the kitchen, holding two glasses of water in his hands, with a large envelope pinned beneath his arm.

“That’s Tisch,” she looked up at him and took a glass from him, still confused.

Now Darcy furrowed his eyebrows too. He took the envelope from beneath his arm and looked back down at it. “What’s TIFF,” he looked at her and flipped the envelope around.

Charlotte’s heart dropped as she looked at the envelope and reached to grab it out of Darcy’s hand, “where’d you get this?”

“It was on your porch,”

Charlotte inspected the address to make sure it was at the right spot. And sure enough, her name was there. “Toronto International Film Festival,” she thought about what to do next. What did this mean? Had they gotten in? Would they have sent a huge envelope just to decline them? She wanted to tear it open and see what was inside, and when she looked back up at Darcy, he looked as anxiously excited as she was. She turned the envelope back over and slid her finger beneath the sealed edge until it ripped open.

Inside was a folder with the festival’s logo on it. Darcy’s eyes were locked on the folder as well. Charlotte flipped open the folder and took out the paper on top. “Congratulations, your film Asylum has been officially selected to screen at the Toronto International Film Festival,” her eyes got heavy with tears as she scanned the rest of the document.

Darcy held back as long as he could to allow her the time to read the rest of the paper. But even he couldn’t hold out for very long. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug, running his hands through her hair as they swayed side to side. When he eventually pulled back, he bent lower to kiss her lips slowly, excitedly.

Charlotte was shaking and she pressed a hand over her mouth in complete shock. She could hardly believe this was all actually happening. The months of tireless work and energy had all been worth something. And the film that she and her crew were all proud of was being admired by others. She looked back up at Darcy. He was beaming and just wanted his hands on her. Out of all the ways Darcy expressed his admiration for her, touch was the greatest.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her against him, “I’m so proud of you.” Darcy pecked her lips again and stroked her hair, unable to take his eyes off of her. He couldn’t help but think how badass his girlfriend was. When Charlotte looked back down at the folder, Darcy leaned in and kissed her forehead, “how about you order some dinner and wine from that steakhouse on Manhattan. I’ll go shower and then pick it up,”

Charlotte shook her head insistently, “no, that place is too expensive.”

Darcy gently grabbed her face in one of his hands until she looked up at him, “you deserve it. Your movie’s going to an international festival.” He kissed her again, smiling against her lips, “my phone and wallet are in the kitchen. Go on,” he grinned and tapped her ass when she went past him.

Charlotte waited until Darcy shut the bathroom door and turned on the shower. Other than her friends from school, who had made the film with her, she’d never had someone in her life be this supportive. Sure, her mom would be proud if she told her the movie got into the festival, but there was no support from her before that. This was a hobby in her eyes, not a career. So having Darcy be so outwardly supportive and proud warmed Charlotte’s heart.

When she clicked the home button on Darcy’s phone so she could pull up the restaurant’s menu, she was half shocked to see herself as his background picture. She hadn’t even remembered him ever taking a picture. It was when they were in South Dakota on their way back from Minnesota. She only knew that because despite being summer, she was still wearing a sweater. They had stopped at a cafe to get coffee before continuing their drive west. Charlotte had sat down at a table by the window while Darcy ordered, and when he got back to her with their drinks, their immediate conversation was about how she’d just ordered an extra hot coffee in the middle of summer. Mid-laughter, she tried to explain to him it was because she was spoiled by Southern Californian weather. She remembered him being on his phone, but thought he was pulling up the route until their next stop. Now looking at the background of his phone, she understood he had taken a picture of her laughing as she held her coffee up to her lips.

Charlotte entered the lock code to his phone (he had given it to her the day they got back to California in order to find the passcode to his condo’s gate) and pulled up the menu. When she was satisfied with what they were going to get, she called up the restaurant and ordered, pulling out Darcy’s credit card. She still believed that it cost too much money for one dinner. She didn’t need to be wined and dined this extensively. A burger from In-n-Out would’ve sufficed. When she hung up, she put his things away, and went back into the living to go through the rest of the packet. There was a check list she’d have to go through thoroughly to make sure the festival had everything they needed from her.

A couple minutes later, Darcy came out in a pair of jeans, pulling a black t-shirt over his head. He found her on the couch and leaned over to kiss her. Charlotte grinned against his lips and took a deep breath in, “you smell good.”

“It’s the shower gel in there you bought for me,” he patted his pockets, and then went into the kitchen to grab his things. When he came back, he was looking at his phone, “how long did they say?”

“Forty-five to an hour,” she mentioned and put the folder down. Charlotte stretched her arms out in front of her, “come here.”

He looked at her and smiled, walking back to the couch to bend over and kiss her again. She held him in place, but he managed to mumble, “I gotta get…” When he started to talk, she pulled away to look at him, “I gotta get some things from my place, and then I’ll go pick up the food.” He kissed her once more and stood straighter, “do you need anything while I’m out?”

Charlotte frowned slightly, not wanting him to go this soon. “Tampons,” she smirked. Although she meant it as a joke to him, she made a mental note to get some soon. She was running a bit low.

He was headed for the door when she said it, so she never did get to see his reaction, but he pulled the door open, “alright, I’ll be back in a bit.”

---

In the time Darcy was gone, Charlotte had time to take a long, hot shower. She reminded herself to call her friends tonight or tomorrow morning with the news that they’d gotten into TIFF. By the time Darcy got back, it had mostly set in to Charlotte that her film actually was going to a huge festival. She jumped up from the couch and took the bottle of wine out of Darcy’s hands, also realizing that in his other hand was the bag of food and a box of tampons.

“You actually bought tampons?” She smiled, mostly surprised that he had actually done that for her. “You didn’t even get a bag for them?”

He looked down at the box of tampons, thinking he’d already done something wrong in getting them without a bag. “Why do I need a bag,”

Charlotte led him into the kitchen, where she’d already put out plates, silverware, and wine glasses. “You don’t, I just thought you’d be embarrassed to be walking around with a box of tampons,”

Darcy shrugged and put his purchase on the kitchen counter, proudly, “I conquered a convenient store for these.” He opened the bottle of wine while Charlotte dished out the steak filets and salad. “There’s so many options, I didn’t know which ones to get,” he poured a little bit of wine into each of the glasses and then lifted the tampons again, “but I got these because this girl looks like she’s about to start a race. And if anyone’s gonna run a marathon with something up their vagina, they’re the real MVP.”

“You put a lot of thought into this,” Charlotte smiled, nodding her head to the side to encourage him to being the wine back into the living room.

He obeyed and set the tampons back down in order to carry the wine. “Well the other ones just had flowers and clouds on them. But these had a badass chick on them, and you’re a badass chick, so I figured they would probably be good.” They hunkered down by the coffee table with their back resting against the couch and lifted their wine glasses, but Darcy stopped Charlotte before she could take a sip. “Cheers to my outrageously talented, gorgeous, superstar girlfriend. This is just the start of a huge, illustrious career for you. You have no idea how proud I am to even have the chance to know you, let alone get to be by your side through this.”

Charlotte blushed and clinked her glass against his, “thanks, Darc.”

He smiled and watched her as she took a sip from her glass. “I love you, babe,”

Her eyes flicked to his and she pulled her glass away from her and set it on the coffee table. At first when she didn’t say it back right away, he thought maybe he'd jumped the gun like he had with the drawer. Maybe she wasn’t ready for that yet. Tonight was so special and he hoped and prayed that he hadn’t screwed it up because of an impulse he had to tell her that he loved her.

“I love you too,” she whispered and leaned into him, curling her hands around the sides of his face to kiss him. Despite all the other boys she’d dated, Darcy was the first one to tell her that he loved her. And she was so happy that he was. Not only did she believe he truly meant it, but she knew that she meant it too. The way he had handled her since the start of their relationship, made it very clear to Charlotte that Darcy cared for her in a way that was different from all of her previous boyfriends. His love came unconditionally.

Even though their food cost a small fortune, they ate pretty quickly partially because they wanted to celebrate Charlotte’s success, and partially because they wanted to celebrate their success as a couple for getting to this new stage. When they finally got each other naked in the bedroom, Darcy crawled on top of Charlotte and cupped one hand around her neck. As they kissed, she slid her hands up his sides and over his shoulders. She squeezed his muscles and then moved her hands up to his hair.

He stopped them momentarily, in order to reach over into her nightstand and pull out a condom. As he tore the packet open with his teeth, Darcy sat back on his knees. Charlotte watched him and set her hand on his thigh, finally smiling wider when he returned back over her and gave her another kiss.

She hummed against his lips as he licked his fingers and brought his hand down between her legs. Instinctively, her legs shifted apart. Charlotte grabbed his forearm until he dropped more of his weight on her and rested on his forearms in order to hold her hand. “Again,” she mumbled.

Darcy tilted his head to the side to look at her, while he moved his free hand over her clit. “Hmm…?”

“Again,” she whispered a little louder this time. She squeezed his hand gently.

He grinned and pushed his hand forward, urging a finger inside of her. “I love you,” he smiled. Charlotte let out a soft whimper and Darcy pressed his lips to hers.

She nearly melted all over again when he said it. For the girl who prided herself on being pretty even keeled, she was sure losing it a little bit more every time he said it. “It sounds so hot coming out of your mouth,”

He giggled at her, pulling away just enough to look down at her. His expression made her giggle too, and he came back down, pulling his finger out of her and placing his hands on either side of her head, “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you…”

Charlotte reached up and wrapped her arms around Darcy’s neck, pulling him down to her. She kissed him slowly, dragging her tongue over his lips before she finally pushed it into his mouth. When she pulled away from his lips, she ran her hands down his chest. “Will you be able to go to the festival with me?”

“When is it?” He pushed her hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear.

“Early September,”

Darcy curled his hand around her ear, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“What about hockey?” She put her hand on the back of his head and scratched her fingers through his hair softly.

“I’ll check to see when camp is. We’ll work something out,”

Charlotte took a deep breath in. She hoped what he was saying is true. She really wanted him to be there with her. But he had a job to do and she would never expect him to jeopardize that for her. “What if you can’t,”

“Char,” he started, but paused for a quick moment to peck her lips. “I’m gonna be in Toronto with you. I’m going to drag you through the Hockey Hall of Fame,”

She chuckled and nodded, agreeing that if he was going to accompany her at the festival, she would accompany him at the hall of fame. “Babe,”

“Yeah?” He stared down at her attentively.

“I’m gonna go call my friends to tell them,”

Darcy grinned and kissed her quickly before rolling off of her and onto his back. He pulled off the condom he had put on, hoping it wasn’t obvious that he was saddened by not getting to use it tonight. But he couldn’t blame her at all. This was a big night.

Charlotte knew he wasn’t trying to look so disappointed, but generally when they laid naked in bed, it led to sex. She wanted to, but she also wanted to tell her friends what had come in the mail. As he tossed the condom onto the nightstand, Charlotte crawled out of bed and went for the door. But before she exited, she turned back to Darcy. “Babe,”

He turned his head towards her and put one arm beneath his head, “yeah?”

“I love you,” she blushed and leaned against the door.

“I love you too, Charlotte.”

Notes

"Get to You" by Michael Ray.

This song is also a jam. Lord, have mercy.