“So if you’re gonna break my heart, just break it. And if you’re gonna take your shot, then take it, take it. If you made up your mind, then make it, make this fast. If you ever loved me, have mercy…”


Now a devout watcher of all the Kings games, even if Darcy wasn’t playing, Charlotte was happy to see him doing well whenever he was in net. His success in games made her feel safe with his standing on the team. Even though with Jonathan Quick, Darcy would never be the team’s go-to guy, he was proving that he was a strong force to be reckoned with as a backup. He was trusted to pull his own weight, maybe even more than his own weight. And more times than not, Charlotte understood that the reason why the team won some games, was because Darcy had made some unbelievable saves.

Even he felt reinvigorated by his strong showing. As the long February road trip came to a close, Darcy admitted on the phone that he felt good about his odds of getting the start for the first game of the upcoming home stand. His strength and pride was more than apparent to Charlotte, and she hoped he’d be rewarded with another start for his good playing streak.

He texted early in the morning that he’d be going to his place for the night, and that he’d see Charlotte in the morning. She was already in bed and fast asleep by the time that message came through. With the success they’d had at Sundance, her phone had been ringing off the hook pretty consistently. Everybody wanted to get a change to chat to the person who’d manage to come out of left field and make a statement. And everybody wanted her to be able to get them in touch with other crew members as well.

So when she woke early the next morning, she figured she’d spend her free morning with Darcy before having to basically drive back to her hometown for a meeting at Warner Brothers. As she got dressed for the day, she could hardly believe the incredible turn her life had taken. From spending the previous two years as someone’s bitch, she was living an actual dream. Universal wanted to talk, and so did Sony, and Paramount, and now Warner Brothers. Never in her wildest dreams did she think she’d get so much studio attention. And on top of all that, she had a boyfriend who turned her world into a constant dream.

Charlotte was just about to load up Chief when her phone vibrated. Had it been anyone else, she probably would’ve ignored it, but upon seeing Darcy’s name, she slid her finger across the screen to read his message.

On my way over.

Well that was convenient. She thought about responding and telling him not to bother… that she was already out the door. But then again, it was easier for him to come to her place, rather than Charlotte packing Chief into her tiny car. Either way, she was bound to see Darcy in a few minutes. She brought the bag back into her bedroom and began unloading it. They had an unspoken agreement that whatever house they met at, they would end up at that night. Looked like Darcy was opting to stay the upcoming night at her place.

Just as expected, a few minutes later, she heard his car pull up in front at the same time Chief began to go wild. They were both excited to see him after a week and a half of him being on the road. And as she finished unpacking, she heard the front door open. Even though she knew it was Darcy, he didn’t come in with his normal greeting for Chief.

“Charlotte,” Darcy called.

“Back here!” She called back.

“Can you come out here?”

She took a second, and then poked her head out from around the corner and found him just standing in her living room. She stepped into the room and pushed her hands in the back pockets of her pants, “what’s up?”

He bit on his lip and looked up at her. It was clear to Charlotte that he was holding something back… his eyes were bloodshot and he looked shaken. She hadn’t heard about anything from the road trip that would’ve constituted this.

“I got traded,”

Charlotte felt like she got kicked in the stomach, having the wind knocked out of her. “What,”

“To Arizona,” Darcy furrowed his eyebrows and looked back down at his feet.

Charlotte pressed her hand to her forehead, “when do you leave?”

“Now,” he looked back, “I’ve got a driver waiting outside.”

She felt like everything was spinning. How was this happening so quickly? “When did this happen?”

“I found out first thing this morning,”

Charlotte began looking around her place, thinking about what things she could chuck and which things she’d need to take with her. “It’ll take me a little bit, but I can probably join you in a few days…”

“What?” Darcy’s response was instantaneous. He seemed surprised by her comment. “No,”

She half-smiled, thinking he was joking. “What do you mean? I’ll work out something with my landlord to sublet the place,”

“You’re not coming to Arizona with me.”

She smiled again at his joke. But when she really focused on the way he was looking at her, she realized he wasn’t kidding. Charlotte felt like she’d gotten kicked again. “What,” she whispered, hurt.

Darcy pushed his hand through his hair and took a step towards her, “you can’t come to Arizona with me.”

“Why not,” she gasped, feeling the first tears running down her cheeks.

His face twisted, seeing that he was hurting her like this. “You’ve got your whole life here… Your whole career. You can’t drop all of that just to follow me,”

“Why not,” she sobbed again.

“What are you going to do in Arizona?” He tried to reason with her. Darcy figured that somewhere deep down, Charlotte knew she couldn’t leave Los Angeles.

“Be with you,” she whispered.

Darcy felt his heart break a little more. She couldn't throw away something amazing for him. He wouldn’t let her, and so he stepped back from her. “You’re too talented for that. You’ve got so much going for you in your life and career,”

“I don’t care about that. I want to be with you,” She sniffled and stepped forward.

In almost an instant, Darcy realized the gravity of the situation. He was going to have to make this impossible for her, and his heart ached for what he was about to do. “I don’t want you.” As he suspected, that made her cry harder.

“Darcy, stop…”

“I don’t want you, Charlotte.” He interrupted and forced himself to hold back everything, “I don’t want you in Arizona, and I don’t want you anymore.”

The more her brain processed his words, the more her sadness turned to rage. Was he really telling her what she thought he was telling her? After he’d spent the last few months and even the last week telling her that he loved her. And suddenly he didn’t want her anymore?

“What was I?! Some stupid, fucking consolation prize for you in LA?! Something for you to show off to your new friends?! You sure showed me! Job well done, Darcy fucking Kuemper!”

Darcy couldn't even say anything. He knew he deserved this, but he also hoped that one day, Charlotte would come to realize that this was only meant for her to have a career she loved. Had she not brought up going to Arizona with him, maybe they could’ve tried things long distance. But when Darcy realized that wasn’t on her radar, he knew he was going to have to break her heart.

“Good for you, Darcy. You never called me a cunt, just like you said you wouldn’t.” She folded her arms across her chest. “Get the fuck out of my house,”

Darcy stepped towards the door and pulled it open. Sometime within all the yelling, Chief had scurried beneath the kitchen table for shelter. “Charlotte,”

“I said get the fuck out of my house!” She yelled and reached for the vase on the coffee table. He’d given her the roses in it just a few days before. She received them when he was midway through the road trip. And now as she hurled the vase at Darcy, the roses he’d invested so much money in, scattered on the floor.

He ducked behind the door just in time, as the vase made contact with the doorjamb and shattered into tiny pieces. He poked his head back out, “Char…”

Charlotte began to cry again and collapsed to the floor, “please just get out. Please,” She begged, burying her face into her hands until she heard the front door shut, and the car that had been idling outside, left. She looked back up at the glass she was now going to have to clean up. “Chief, no, bleibst.” Charlotte held her hand out as he began to make his way towards her. He stopped and looked at her. The bright idea she’d had to throw the vase at Darcy, just resulted in a dangerous maze for Chief’s paws.

Charlotte picked herself up from the floor and hopped over the broken glass and took the broom and dustpan out from the storage cabinet in the kitchen. Chief stayed in place, as he was commanded to do, and Charlotte began the task of sweeping up the shards of glass. She replayed the traumatic scene over and over again in her head, shuffling between sadness and anger as she thought about it.. the sight of Darcy looking like a broken man, hearing him say he didn’t want her…

And them him trying to talk? Trying to get a word in edge-wise? He didn’t earn the right to say anything after his confession. If he was going to be so cruel to her, he could’ve at least made it quick. He didn’t have to linger around and make her throw a vase at his head. And she wasted it anyway because it didn’t even hit him. Her next thought was how could she have ever loved someone so selfish? Who was he to decide what she could and couldn’t do? If she really wanted to give up a career and go to Arizona with him, then she’d do it. He didn’t get to make that decision for her. And yet he had, and she was alone.

She distanced herself from her phone mostly because she was afraid that she’d do something foolish… like call Darcy and either cuss him out or confess that she still loved him. So instead, she cleaned her entire apartment. And by the time she sat down on the couch at the end of the night, she didn’t feel any better. The day had been spent ignoring and denying the way she was actually feeling, so now, with everything slowing down, there was nowhere to escape. Darcy had left. On a plane to Arizona to continue his life. Charlotte figured he was already comfortable there. With his new set a friends, and probably a new girl. One he wanted.

Charlotte pulled the throw blanket off the back of the couch and yanked it over her head. When she settled, she felt Chief poke his nose beneath the blanket and nudge her. She lifted her arm just enough for him to jump up with her. He nuzzled into her side as though he could sense that something big had happened and she needed some extra love.

It was never the intention to sleep on the couch. It was actually the last thing Charlotte would’ve wanted. The couch was terrible; always left a crick in her neck. So when she woke, not only was she in intense emotional pain, she now had a physical pain to go along with it. Chief begged for his breakfast at his normal early hour, and while normally that didn’t bother Charlotte at all, today all she wanted to do was keep the blanket over her head.

Alas, she got up and poured a cup of kibble into his bowl. He wagged his tail appreciatively and then buried his nose into his food. And all Charlotte did was go back to the couch and pull the blanket back up over her head. The rest of the day was spent in between pensive thought of the situation and an onslaught of tears that she wouldn't know how to stop even if she tried. Every bit of her missed the man that so easily walked out of her life. She hated that it was so easy for him. Why couldn't it be that easy for her?

Notes

"Mercy" by Brett Young.