Captive

When life slaps you in the face, you could almost see it coming at times – much like a hurricane: The built-up, the anticipation of the destruction to come, the guessing game of when and where it will hit. And the funny part was that when it is actually happening, when it finally strikes, it’s almost a relief.

Other slaps are like a bolt of lightning from a barely grey sky. They blindside you.

“Oh sweetheart, you must be exhausted,” my grandma said as she stroked my cheek, startling me. She gave me a hug then sat beside on the love seat of our backyard porch.

I missed her loving hugs. I even missed that sickeningly strong perfume she always wore.

“I love you, nana.”

“Love you too, sweetheart,” she said with a tilt of her head. “You will be okay. It may take some time but you will be okay, I promise,” she said, holding my hand tightly in hers. “I’m glad Jamie and Livvie will be staying home for the coming months. It’ll be good for you.”

I sighed and rested my head on her shoulder. I was feeling too lazy to move.

“Sidney’s mom called earlier to ask about you,” she said then paused.

Sidney. My heart clenched at the mere mention of his name. I tried hard to hide my wet eyes. I willed my grandma to continue, to say more, but she didn’t. Fours days have passed without a word from him. I could easily get his number from my family, but I would never ask.

I did not listen to the stories about us on the news. I could tell that our subject was excessively discussed from my dad’s uncharacteristic screen time. I was also avoiding the Internet like the plague – not that my mother would have allowed it anyway. She was too keen on creating the most ‘zen’ space for me. She was even using those weird relaxing herbal aromas that her yoga friend wouldn’t shut up about.

“In a few days, Karen will lift the visiting ban. I’m sure the family and your friends are waiting impatiently to see you. Aren’t you excited to see everyone, Mia?”

My grandma was not the chatty type and I have spoken four words since she arrived. She was trying hard, I give her that.

“I don’t know,” I said, my voice was hoarse from being alone for the last two hours.

“Livvie and Jamie will be back from work soon. Maybe you could go out a little before dinner,” she suggested with a sweet smile.

“Go out? Have you noticed the scene in front of the house?!”

“The world wants to know how you’re doing, dear. Peter said that they wouldn’t leave until they get something. But eventually, they will,” my grandma responded calmly.

“What does Peter know, huh? He’s just a security guard,” I mumbled annoyed.

“Trina was telling your mother that it’s the same for them. Reporters are everywhere, in front of their house and Sidney’s. Though he’s staying with his parents. I guess the press doesn’t want to miss his return home. Talk to him, Mia. He’s surely dealt with similar situations with his fame. He could probably give some advice on how to overcome this invasion of privacy.”

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t need advice.”

“Hey sister,” Jamie said cheerfully, peeking his head through the sliding door. “How is your ass not freezing out here?”

“Jamie!” Nana gave him a pointed look. Surely it was about his word choice.

“Sorry, Nana,” he said as he squeezed himself between us, draping his long arms around our shoulders. “Enjoy it while it lasts, they’re expecting 15 mm of freezing rain in the evening.”

Then he nudged me, “Is my sister still giving us the silent treatment?” he asked and kissed my cheek. “Well, Ryan is coming with Greg for dinner, that might cheer you up. You know mom. When it comes to Ryan, rules do not apply.”

“Since when Ryan and Greg are buddies?” I asked curiously and Jamie shrugged.

*****

“Tell us about Sidney?” Livvie asked out of the blue and I almost choked on my lemonade.

“What about him?” I asked as casually as possible.

“Jeez, I don’t know, Mia. You spent months together in the same room, and you’re telling me you have nothing to say about it?”

The living room fell silent. Ryan and Greg exchanged an unsettling look while my dad pursed his lips and looked outside the window. “Olivia, drop it,” he said.

“Why? What did I say? Aren’t you all wondering about the same thing?”

“Meh... I heard my big sister kicked ass, that’s what I want to hear about,” Jamie said with a smirk. I took the opening he luckily gave me.

“His sister may have a little crush on you, you know,” I grinned at my brother.

“She’s cute, but her brother is more my type. He’s hot, H.O.T., hot,” he commented and we all chuckled, well, except for my grandma. She was still having trouble with the idea of never seeing Jamie’s great-grandchildren.

He shrugged. “How close are you to her brother?” I thought Jamie was on my side, but I guess he was equally curious.

“Yeah, Mia, tell us,” Livvie said amused.

“We’re um… well, we’ve been stuck with each other for three months. I guess you could say that I know a few things about him.” I had no idea how to describe what Sidney and I were because I for one had no idea. We had no label, no status.

“Things? What kind of things?” Jamie wiggled his eyebrows. I cannot believe he was asking suggestive things in front of my dad and grandma. He’s lucky mom was in the kitchen.

The garage door rang, making me jump a little. We all looked at each other, not expecting additional guests.

“Yes, Peter, who is it?” my dad held the phone to his ear and faced the screen in the hallway near the living room, blocking our view of Peter’s huge face. “Let him in, thanks.”

When he came back, he said, “Mia, it’s for you, I believe.” His expression was neutral, with no indication of who it might be. Despite my dad’s military-carved facade, I had an inkling that made my stomach jump.

I moved slowly, but my mind was going a hundred miles an hour.

The build-up.

The anticipation.

The guessing game.

The relief.

Notes