Captive

I felt I was floating towards the other side of the house, hands numb and ears deaf to all the witty remarks. Once in the den, where our temporary front door was, the only voice I could register was Peter’s. A single door separated me from my impromptu guest. The second I stepped into the dimness of the garage, and before I even caught sight of him, a whiff of an unfamiliar yet soothing cologne filled my senses.

We stood a rake and a snow blower apart and stared at each other. The old bronze pendant lamp cast a soft light to the side of his face, highlighting his perfectly angled cheekbone. A tentative grin spread across his freshly shaven face. I was not sure I mirrored it. I was too entranced by his whole presence. His short hair was neatly gelled, his skin flushed, and his jeans and polo shirt were doing no justice to the real deal underneath.

“Hey,” he said, his voice sultry and comforting.

His eyes scanned me deliberately. I cleared my throat and played with the knot of my red and black flannel shirt, suddenly self-conscious of how messy I looked in comparison. He’s seen you in much worst, I reminded myself.

“Um, you didn’t call.”

You didn’t call! Was that really the first thing to come out of my mouth? I wanted to smack myself.

“I... I didn’t… I’m sorry, you’re right. I should have. I mean, before showing up unannounced.”

“No, it’s fine. I meant that I’m surprised to see you, that’s all, really.”

“A good surprise I hope?” His tone held some uncertainty.

“Yeah, I mean, yes, I’m happy to see you.”

Why were we acting so awkwardly? We knew each other well. We’ve lived through way worse situations together. We’ve seen each other naked, for God sakes. This was supposed to be easy, a piece of cake. And yet, we haven’t made an effort to close the gap between us yet.

“Is this a good time? I could leave if you have plans or...”

The sweet, kind-hearted Sidney was here to remind of how much I missed him. If he was not taking that first step, then I will.

Ignoring his rambling, I held his gaze and removed the last remaining obstacles between us. I wrapped my arms around his wide torso and pressed my face firmly into his chest. He was a good five inches taller and a hundred pound heavier and I couldn’t complain because when he hugged me, he enveloped me completely. I relished the feeling of being nestled in his warmth, in the place I never wanted to leave. He placed his chin over my head and sighed happily like someone who’s just crossed the finish line of an excruciating race.

The floodgate that I have so far kept securely locked broke wide open. I didn’t know where all the tears were coming from or whether they were happy ones. What I knew for sure was that all I wanted to do was to cry in his arms until my eyes dry.

“Mia.” Oh the way he said my name. He kissed my hair and rubbed my back. His fingers wove their way through my hair. “It’s okay,” he whispered and held me like he has done many times before. He did not ask questions; He simply waited.

“I was hoping for a kiss, but I’ll settle for you soaking my white shirt.”

“I’m hoping the wetness will turn it see-through,” I answered without a second thought. Then I looked up at his smirking face, “hold on, was that humour?” I sniffled. “Using my strategies against me now?

“Something like that. You’re a bad influence,” he said, a crooked grin playing on his lips and I couldn’t look away. I saw his pink lips getting closer and closer until his features became blurry. My eyes fell shut when his lips touched mine and a happy moan escaped me. He pressed his mouth against mine gently. With his large hands cradling my face, he pushed me closer to him in time to his tongue tracing my bottom lip. I hooked my hands behind his neck as he expertly savoured every corner and crevice of my mouth. His wet, dizzying lips trailed kisses along my jaw and neck.

A shaky sigh escaped my parted lips when his breath tickled the skin below my ear. Though we’ve kissed a million times before in Iraq, back in our prison, the passion between us was burning still; it was palpable. Sadly, the creak of the stairs reminded me that unlike those million times before, we were in my parents’ garage.

It took us a few seconds to reluctantly release one another. We stayed close, our noses almost touching. The awkwardness was replaced with familiarity. His Adam’s apple moved as he swallowed and took two steps back. The intruder must have made his face known because Crosby’s eyes were no longer holding mine.

“Richard, how are you doing?”

Of all the people upstairs, my dad was the least nosy and least expected to have followed me.

“I’m good, yourself?”

I turned around and stepped aside so that they could shake hands. I felt my cheeks burn when my dad’s lingered on Crosby. I could see the subtle narrowing of his eyes. His gaze then travelled to me, “your mother said she needs a hand.”

Nodding, I started towards the den with Crosby and my dad close behind me.

“This way, Sidney,” my dad pointed towards the stairs.

“You have a nice den here,” Crosby said as he took our family’s memorabilia. He acted too casually around my dad for someone who was almost caught making out with his daughter. Then, to no one’s surprise, Crosby spotted our sports trophy collection.

“Who played in Minors?”

“Mia and Josh,” my dad said and pointed to the framed photos.

Crosby zoomed in to examine the 15-year-old me in full hockey gear, my long braid sticking out of the monstrosity that was the junior helmet. His bright smile was wiped off of his face as soon as his gaze went to the second frame. Unlike most people who knew what happened to my brother, Crosby did not tiptoe around the subject.

“How old was he here?” he asked, his tone was void of pity.

“Seventeen. They had won the midget tournament that night,” my dad wistfully.

“So he was good.”

He didn’t seem to be sorry for us yet his empathy was so genuine. I understood for the first time what my grandma was talking about when she called someone “authentic.”

“He was. That’s his friend Ryan, I believe you’ve met him already,” my dad said.

My gaze followed Crosby’s to the third frame. With his helmet off, Josh held the trophy and grinned widely at the camera. His face was flushed and his hair was a mess.

“Hold on, is that you making that face in the back?” Crosby asked, raising his eyebrows, his lips twitching.

I was hoping he wouldn’t notice, but he did. I laughed nervously and nodded, not trusting my voice. He shook his head and chuckled.

“She was a troublemaker, wasn’t she?”

“Still is,” my dad answered and smiled.

And so it begins. If Crosby keeps up his interrogation, he will learn every little embarrassing detail about me by the end of the evening. A close friend, my parents and grandma, sister and brother, and ex-boyfriend – that was a recipe for disaster.

“Mom invited Greg over for dinner. He’s going back in two days,” I said as we took the stairs.

“To Iraq?” Crosby asked.

“Yep.”

“Well, I’m glad I get to see him before he leaves.”

“Ryan is here too,” I added casually, but it sounded more like word vomit.

“Sidney! I’m so happy to see you,” my mother exclaimed. I could see curious heads peeking from behind her.

“Thank you, Mrs. Shaw. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I’ll be crashing your dinner party,” he said politely once he gave her a hug.

“It’s Karen and nonsense, we’re happy you’re joining us. I hope you’re hungry. Nana makes a mean haggis.”

“Thanks,” he said with a small smile.

“Would you like something to drink?” she asked and Crosby declined politely.

“Kids, Sidney is here. Make him feel at home while I finish up dinner,” mom said as she gently steered Crosby towards the living room.

“Do you need help, mom?” I asked.

“No honey, it’s alright. I’m almost done.”

I trailed behind Crosby who was now shaking Greg’s hand. Ryan smiled politely at him when it was his turn. Olivia had a shit-eating grin on her face while Jamie smirked at me.

“So, how’s it going?” Greg asked once Sidney settled down next to my grandma, facing our two military guests. I sat between Jamie and Olivia while my dad took his usual spot near the window facing the main street.

“You know, busy. Today was my first chance to sneak out of the house,” he said as he tapped his fingers on the arm of the couch.

“I take it your loved ones are visiting?” my grandma asked and he nodded. I guess Mama Crosby wasn’t as strict as Mama Shaw.

“And that?” Greg tilted his head in the direction of the media camping outside our front door at seven in the evening.

“Nothing we haven’t expected,” Crosby answered shortly, clearly not wanting to discuss this subject.

“The tribute the Penguins did for you was simply unbelievable,” Ryan commented and everyone nodded their agreement, except for me, the only person not following the news in this room.

“Yeah, they’ve done so much in my absence too. The team had an off day yesterday; some guys came to see me. It was good to see them,” Crosby said, his frown made my heart squeeze in my chest.

“When are you gonna get back on the ice?” Jamie asked the million-dollar question.

Crosby scratched the back of his neck. The stressful interrogation continued to his poor luck. He stuttered a few times then said, “weeks, months, I’m not sure yet. It will be up to my trainers, the medical team and the coaches. So, yeah.”

He fiddled with his fingers, clearly upset about the delays in his return to hockey, to the life he’s been missing so much. I wanted to comfort him so bad, maybe even crawl into his lap and hug his head to my chest. But I couldn’t, not with those morons around.

“You’ll be back before you know it.” To my surprise, it was Livvie to the rescue.

Sidney sighed and looked outside then at his hands. “I hope you’re right. I will start my training next week, I’ve been told to take it one day at a time so that’s the plan for now.”

“We’re all rooting for you, man.” It was Ryan who spoke. I guess I had forgotten how loved Crosby was here, or at least the hero athlete in him.

“Thanks, Ryan,” he said with a nod. “So you don’t serve overseas?” he asked him.

“No, I work here, at home,” Ryan said and gave me quick side look. “I’d rather be here. But there’s no right or wrong, each one of us chooses where to serve and how to fulfill our duty, whether it being here or overseas. We all swore the same oath.” His eyes were directly on me when he said that last part. I looked away, mainly because I was pissed at this newfound philosophy. Where was this attitude when he broke up with me?

The conversation went on, with me uselessly sitting there, not saying a word. Instead, I was content just watching Crosby interact with my family and friends. I focused on the way his lips moved when he spoke and how they stretched when he grinned. I contemplated the way his eyes crinkled when he gave Nana an entrancing smile. Mostly, I was mesmerized with every smile he flashed me. I think he was trying to be subtle, but to me, it was crystal clear.

Then he was staring right at me and his lips were moving.

“Mia?” He asked

“Hmm? Sorry, what’s that?”

Livvie nudged me playfully and chuckled. Crosby gave me a toothy grin and did not bother to repeat his question.

“Sidney was asking how you’re doing?” Livvie said slowly as if talking to a child.

“I’m fine,” I said.

Livvie rolled her eyes, “if you say so.”

Crosby scrunched his eyebrows. “What’s going on?” He asked.

“Nothing is going on,” I said and gave Livvie a menacing look.

Crosby still looked concerned as he waited me out. “Come on, let’s help mom set up the table. You came uninvited, the least you could do is work for it,” I said playfully to him.

He blushed and silently followed behind me. My mom had already set a stack of plates and cutlery to the side of the dining table.

“How about you put the plates around the table and I’ll fold the napkins?” I asked as I got to work.

Crosby’s thick fingers held my wrist firmly, “Mia, what was your sister talking about? What are you hiding from me?” He said with a low voice.

“Nothing. They’re overreacting. We’ve only been back for four days and they expect me to go out partying and vacationing. I’m jet-lagged and tired. I’m sure you feel the same.”

“Well, four days is not a long time. They’re just worried, I guess.”

“You should tell them that.”

He nodded and frowned at the napkin he stole from my hand. “You’re good at folding napkins, that was one of your daily tasks back at the... you know.”

I sighed. “Do you think about it a lot?”

“All the time,” he said, a disappointed look on his face. “I’m not sleeping well. It’s been only a week since our escape. Maybe with time, we’ll readjust and things will go back to normal, eventually.”

“When will you be seeing the therapist?”

“Next week, you?”

“I’m not up for it yet. They gave me a maximum of four weeks before I absolutely have to see one. I will take the four weeks,” I said with a chuckle.

“Mia, as much as I hate talking to a shrink, I will do it and you should too, okay? Don’t postpone it because you’re not feeling well. That’s the whole point.”

“All you need is some round glasses and grey hair because you sound exactly like my grandma.”

“Wow, aren’t you two a good team!” Livvie expressed with a mischievous smirk. “Mom! Table is ready!”

*****

“So she was like, I think Steve Jobs meant Mac as in Macintosh, which is a type of Apple!” Jamie said and Ryan burst out laughing at the memory.

“Alright, I may have been tipsy, but you have to admit, none of you geniuses have thought about this before I said it that night!” I said and hid my face in Crosby’s arm. I felt my face about to burst when I realized what I’ve done.

“I surely have never made that connection either,” Crosby said as if nothing happened. God, that man was the definition of “cool.”

“She’s the brightest one, trust me,” Ryan said with a smile from across the table. “And by the way, Jamie and Liv, I don’t think you want to continue down the road of embarrassing stories,” He challenged and they both shook their heads and laughed.

As the evening progressed, Crosby’s chair made good progress in touching mine. I could feel the length of his thigh.

“Can I stay over tonight?” Crosby whispered in my ear.

“Are you out of your mind! No!” I tried to scream-whisper. “You do realize that my parents live under the same roof!”

“Can’t blame a guy for trying,” he shrugged.

“Everyone is already asking questions,” I spoke in his ear as he leaned down. That got a frown out of him.

“Then you go home with me tonight. I have my own place, no one will ask questions”

“Well, my family will!” Was he really this clueless?

“And Mr. Navy over there,” he said sulkily and I rolled my eyes.

Ryan was looking at us. Did he hear Crosby? Great. In fact, Ryan wasn’t the only one staring at us. The whole table was silently watching us. Livvie was laughing as quietly as possible; I could see tears in her eyes as she busied herself with the mashed potatoes.

I guess we inappropriately had our own conversation going – something that my dad absolutely hated. He wouldn’t say anything because we had guests and that seemed too entertaining to Olivia that I had to laugh at her laugh. I laughed too hard that everyone joined, not really knowing what we were laughing about.

My mom and dad, who were quite throughout dinner, were looking at one another across the table. I gave my mom a questioning look when I noticed her crying. She wiped at her eyes and smiled at me lovingly. “I just missed your laugh filling this house,” she said, almost chocking.

As we all helped clean up, Jamie stuck to whatever Crosby was doing. They were chatting animatedly near the dishwasher. For a fleeting moment, I wondered what was Crosby really doing here, at my place, charming my Nana, bonding with my brother, and earning my parents’ admiration.

Crosby chuckled at something my brother said, then soon after, he turned a thousand shades of crimson. My brother was quite comfortable in his own skin that he would say the most absurd things sometimes. Then they seemed to be whispering secrets and my curiosity peeked.

“Why haven’t told her?” Crosby said.

“Mia is dealing with enough things. She could do without my drama,” Jamie said with a frown.

“I heard my name,” I said to my brother. “What are you hiding from your older sister, mister?”

Crosby nodded at Jamie, willing him to spit it out.

“I’m seeing someone, that’s it, no big deal.”

With a sigh of relief, I asked, “For how long?”

“Since the beginning of summer,” Jamie answered shortly and went back to loading the dishwasher.

“And?”

“He’s great.”

“Tell me about him, what’s his name?”

“Tom, he’s a trainer at the gym. A huge fan of Sidney.”

Deflecting. I knew this strategy; hell, I invented it.

“Is there a Nova Scotian who isn’t a fan of Sidney?” I commented and Crosby rolled his eye.

“Does he treat you well? Does he make you happy, Jamie?” I asked.

“Yes, he does. But seriously, he will flip if he knew that I was cleaning dishes with THE Sidney Crosby,” he grinned at Crosby who simply shook his head.

I pulled out my phone and gestured for them to pose. Jamie and Crosby leaned against the kitchen counter with their hands holding to the ceramic.

“Now a special one to make that Tom person jealous,” I said. Crosby wanted to murder me with his eyes. I smiled sweetly at him and motioned for them to get cosier. Jamie had no objections whatsoever and placed his arm around Crosby wide waist. With some reluctance, Crosby did the same. I can read his discomfort so well. Jamie, on the other hand, was like a kid on Christmas morning.

“Okay, I will send you the pictures, Jamie, if Sidney’s okay with it,” I said, remembering how private he was.

“Of course. Send them to me too,” he said, his hands going to his pockets. Was he nervous?

“I don’t have your number,” I stated and tilted my head.

He tilted his head in return and gave me a lopsided grin. He snatched my phone and started typing.

“Hey, don’t you dare do anything funny with my phone!” I said when he was taking his sweet time. I have been the victim of many phone-related pranks.

“Now you’re just giving me ideas, Shaw,” he said as he returned my phone.

I smiled like a lovesick teenager at the “Sid Crosby” on my screen.

I was a grown woman; I could just tell my parents that I’m going to his place tonight. That will bring up so many questions I’m not sure if I could answer yet, but so what?

“Guys, the bastards outside just left!” Olivia announced as she walked into the kitchen. “I guess freezing rain is their kryptonite,” she added, taking a swig of her beer.

With the bottle, she motioned to Crosby, Ryan and Greg, “That means you guys can’t go anywhere. You are trapped at Castle Shaw until further notice.”

Jamie gave her a hard look. “Oops, sorry, ‘trapped’ jokes are not funny, too soon.”

I haven’t noticed, but Crosby must have because he was frowning at her.

“Olivia, this is your last beer,” my mom warned. “But she is right, there’s a lot of ice, it will not be safe to drive.”

I turned to Crosby, “Guess you got what you wanted at the end.”

Notes