Captive

“This is good,” I hummed at the taste of Trina’s split pea soup.

“So, you won't be coming to my parents’ dinner tomorrow?” Crosby asked.

He sat next to me on the breakfast bar and nibbled at a buckwheat cracker. He glanced at me sideways, waiting.

“I already declined. You’re not gonna be there either.”

“I’m sure my parents would be extremely happy if we changed our minds.”

“What about your commitment?” I asked with air quotes.

“You mean my commitment to leaving you alone? That got cancelled,” he said with a lopsided grin.

“Don’t you point your spoon at me, Crosby,” I narrowed my eyes at him.

Dropping the silverware, he hopped off the barstool and with a swift motion cradled my body along with my chair with his enormous thighs. He kissed all the breath out of my lungs. I leaned under his touch until my back hit the high counter. His lips, hands, thighs, even his hair were dangerous temptations in that moment.

He paused and kept his eyes closed. When he looked between us at the hardness poking my leg, he took a step back, avoiding my gaze. He went to his liquor fridge and retrieved two beers.

“I don’t know about you, but this should help,” he said, opening the bottles.

I did not put a fight and took my first sip of beer in months. I knew the brand; it was a local brew his friend made. He invested in the business to help his buddy, but kept it behind closed doors since athletes’ reputation and alcohol were never a good mix.

“I like it. Very rich,” I commented as I watched him chug his drink.

“We need to talk about it,” he said, placing his half-empty bottle in front of me.

Oh, so he needed liquid courage. Perhaps the alcohol was not a bad idea after all.

I took a large sip and placed my bottle next to his. “Talk away,” I said, trying to hide my anxiety at the subject.

I waited for him to speak. But he just played with the red bottle label.

When I couldn’t take the silence any longer, I asked with a small voice, “were you appalled by the idea of me being… you know?”

“What?” He snapped his head and I shrugged.

“No, Mia. Of course not. I…, I just panicked. You clearly cannot separate feelings from sex. Your admission said that much.”

Standing before me, he took my hands in his.

“I knew I had feelings for you too, Mia. But I wasn’t sure they were healthy.”

“And now they are?” I may have sounded sarcastic.

He sighed heavily and got closer, “Whether they’re healthy or not, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change the fact that I can’t go through a day without thinking about you.”

My heart threatened to burst in my chest. My tears could no longer be contained. He was struggling, trying to adjust to his new life without hockey, trying to preserve what’s left of his privacy, trying to reassure his parents, trainers, friends that he was okay. And in the midst of this madness, he still wanted me in his life.

‘Maybe he just needs you now,’ the little voice spoke again, but I shut it down and nestled myself in his arms, and breathed him in.

“Do you still want me to be your first?” He asked quietly.

It was my turn to panic.

“I don’t mean right now, Mia.”

He’s been nothing short of honest with me and he deserved that I extend him the same courtesy. Will he freak out?

“Yes, I do. But,” I said with a low voice, "like you said, we should take things one day at a time,” I added quickly.

“Whenever you’re ready. I can wait.”

This man knew me too well, better than I knew myself sometimes. He knew that I couldn’t be rushed. He knew how terrified I could be of my own feelings, which also meant that he knew the depth of the pain he’s caused me.

“I will earn your trust again, I promise,” he whispered.

*****

“I should go home before my family starts freaking out,” I said as we cleared the dishes.

“Your dad must have gotten the seventh hourly report from Peter. Don’t worry.”

“I’ve been here for seven hours?!” I looked at my watch astonished.

He nodded. “Besides, I haven’t given you the tour yet.”

“Manners have truly died,” I said with a shake of my head.

He placed his hands on my waist and grinned. “You’re beautiful and frisky, a very dangerous combination, Mia,” he said as he pressed his fingers into my now exposed skin.

I smiled sheepishly at him, “giving me compliments will not convince me to stay the night, if that’s what you’re attempting here.”

“You are spending the night. My bed is cold and big and I just… I miss waking up next to you.”

“Me too,” I sighed, unable to hide my smile.

“Then, call your family and tell them. I’m sure they’d rather hear it from you and not Peter,” he said and my face turned crimson.

Peter must be wondering what I've been doing all this time alone with Crosby – my father, too. I was not sure if my dad has told the rest of the clan and/or Ryan.

“I can assure you, when I inform them of my sleeping arrangement, a goodnight will not be the end of that conversation."

“So what? You’re an adult.”

“They will hound me with questions, especially Livvy. What do I tell them?”

“That you miss cuddling with me naked under the covers,” he joked, earning himself a punch.

“Okay, okay!” he said rubbing his arm. “Tell them that you’re spending the night and that tomorrow we’ll explain things over dinner.”

“So you’re planning on keeping me here until tomorrow night?”

He smirked widely, too happy with himself. “You’ll be my captive,” he winked, earning an eye roll this time.

*****

Twenty-nine nights. I went on for twenty-nine nights without him at my side, twenty-nine nights without men's clothes on. We laid in bed facing each other. His hand rested lazily on my waist. His eyes on me were tired but crinkled with a satisfied smile. We didn't say much. We didn't have to. His warm breath and soothing touch lulled me into a deep sleep.

I woke up the next morning in the same position. I couldn’t remember the last time I slept this well. Sidney was sprawled on his back, his arm under my neck the same way it was the very first night we slept in the same bed, when he was worried I'd fall down from my desperate attempts at keeping my distance from his body. Look at me know. I almost chuckled to myself if it wasn't for fear of waking him up. Many things have changed since, including the inexplicable way he pulls me in.

A loud ringtone disturbed my peace. I jumped on my phone that was on the nightstand as fast as I could, but it was too late. Sidney stretched and rubbed his eyes as I mouthed my apologies.

"You better have a good reason to call at," I checked my watch, "nine-thirty in the morning," I said weakly.

Sidney gave me a questioning look. "Ryan," I mouthed and to the surprise of no one, he frowned.

Luckily, the phone call didn't last for long. Awake and alert, and without talking, his whole demeanour demanded answers.

"It's regarding the briefing next week. He said to call him before noon."

"What does he have to do with the briefing? It's the RCMP's business."

"He's well connected. I suspect he already knows what they will be telling us.”

He sighed, “Call him. Aren’t you curious?”

“I will, I just thought you wanted to go back to sleep,” I said to his back as he walked towards the master bathroom.

I sat in bed and fiddled with the phone. I replayed my last night's conversation with mom. Ryan must be at my parent’s house; it was his day off. They must have told him that I didn’t spend the night home. Why do I care? It’s none of his business.

“Do you want me to leave the room to call?” he asked while wiping his face with a fluffy white towel.

“Um, no. I just need a minute to wake up.”

He nodded and placed the towel on the back of a chair. “I keep forgetting to put used towels in the hamper,” he said with a chuckle.

I laughed, “I had a moment of euphoria when I spotted my hairbrush the other day! Ah, the things we take for granted, eh?”

“Yeah,” he said and fell on his back next to me. He covered his eyes with his arm and looked about to fall back asleep when my phone rang again.

“Someone is popular.”

I groaned when I saw my brother’s name.

“What?” I yelled into the phone.

“Relax, sister. It’s just me checking in,” he was so chill.

Can’t a girl sleep at her whatever-Crosby-and-I-are’s house without the whole town “checking in?”

“What do you want, Jamie?”

“Did you speak with Ryan?” he asked.

“Not yet, why?”

“So, you don’t know…”

“Know what?”

“The trial of the Ali brothers will start in two weeks. You and Sidney will be asked to testify.”
I squeezed my eyes and swore under my breath. Crosby looked concerned.

“Jamie, I will come home soon, okay? Is dad there?”

“No, he just left with Ryan. I thought they were going to see you.”

“I will call them, talk soon. Bye, Jamie.”

I tossed my phone on the pillow and sighed. I explained to Crosby what I assumed Ryan wanted to tell me.

He paced around the room, tension emanating from every corner of his body.

“This nightmare is never going to be over, is it?”

Notes

My dear readers,

I bet you were happy to see that it was an actual chapter this time! Thanks for having patiently waited and for your loyalty to the story :) :)

Happy Holidays to you all. Hopefully, next year will bring you good health, joy and laughter!

Charlie