Captive

I wrapped myself in one of Sidney’s towels. Only a man of his size would need a towel this big. I dragged the soft fabric over my aching folds. A trace of pink emerged. Not so bad.

“Mia,” his deep voice startled me. “Do you…um… need anything?” he said from behind the closed door.

The concern in his voice brought fresh tears to my eyes.

“I’m okay,” I yelled loud enough to hide the lump in my throat.

“Can I come in?”

I wiped my face and quickly secured the towel around my chest.

“Mia, please,” he pleaded.

“Come in.”

He was wearing shorts and an anxious expression. He rushed in, and in two long strides was at my side. He didn’t touch me, only scanned my body from head to toe. He swallowed too hard that I thought I heard his throat click.

“How…are you feeling better?”

“Yeah,” I said with a low voice, looking at my feet.

His finger lifted my chin up, “I’m sorry that I hurt you. Mia, I… I thought I was careful enough but I wasn’t.”

I wanted to tell him that I was just being overly emotional, that he did nothing wrong, that I love him even more somehow. None of it came out. Instead, I threw myself in his embrace, burying my embarrassment in his chest. He wrapped his strong arms around me and squeezed. Showering my damp hair with soft kisses, he rocked us back and forth, saying nothing at all. We stayed like that for a while; my cheek snug against his heart, and his chin resting on top of my head. I felt myself finally relax.

I looked up at him, his eyes holding so much worry still. I stroked his face with my thumbs.

“I’m fine, Sid. Nothing I can’t handle,” I spoke softly, and it was his turn to avoid my gaze.

“I should have stopped,” he said hoarsely.

“You did not hurt me. It’s normal I bleed a little,” I said quietly.

“It was not a little. Let me check. It will reassure me.”

“Check what?”

His gaze went lower and I scoffed.

“Dating a nurse does not make you one, okay?”

I was not trying to joke but he smiled.

“Okay, officer, officer nurse, whatever Shaw. What is your assessment?”

I shook my head, failing at keeping a straight face.

“Seriously now, Mia,” he said.

“What do you want me to say?” I tucked my hair behind my ears and walked towards the mirror. “What happened is pretty self-explanatory.”

“Are you sore?”

“Yes, I am! Would you let it go already?!” my voice came out unintentionally high.

He sighed and shook his head.

“I’m sorry,” I said hurriedly when he started walking away.

Holding on to my towel, I followed him into the bedroom. I stopped in my tracks at the sight of the bed. It was stripped of the sheets, and the blue pillow was out of sight.

“It was not my first time. You know that, right?” he said from near the bed and I gulped. I knew that. Where was he going with this?

“It was never, like, um… I’m worried because you bled a lot. I know I’m big and you’re like so, um… It may be, uh, uncomfortable for some women, especially the first time. But I’ve never hurt anyone before.”

He paced around the room, looking at everything but me.

“I wanted our first time to be special and not to end with you crying and pushing me away.”

“Sid, I did not mean to push you away. I was embarrassed. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. Well, I do know what’s gotten into me,” I said, rolling my eyes at my unintended pun.

I heard the sweet sound of his chuckle. I ached to listen to the rumble that rose in his chest whenever he laughed. It was my favourite sound. He passed his hand through his hair and shook his head at me.

“Come here,” he whispered.

I almost tripped over my towel as I ran to his open arms.

“It’s swollen and sore to the touch and when I sit. I presume my, uh, insides feel the same,” I mumbled against his skin.

“I’ll prepare you a bath, it helps relax your ‘insides’ muscles. Then, we can ice the swollen area,” he spoke softly.

“You sound like an expert,” I said. The idea of him tending to another woman from his past made my stomach churn.

“I googled it when you were in the shower,” he said then paused and pulled away to look at me. “Does it bother you that I’ve been with other women?”

“I mean, no. You were free to do whatever you wanted. Not anymore though,” I said, raising my eyebrows. “Will you be okay with that?”

“Okay with having sex with you and only you?” he asked amused. “Hmm, being monogamous, like a true penguin? I can live with that.”

I laughed at his antics, relieved that things were still okay between us, despite my freaking out earlier. Like Sidney, I also wanted our first time together to be special and more romantic. I dreamed about it. I guess reality has always a way to keep you on your toes, unleashing the unexpected every single time.

“Where did you go?” he asked and pinched my nose. “I asked, how about a bubble bath? Warm not hot that website said.” He paused and looked pensively, “They said to do the icing later for some reason.”

How long was I in the shower?

“Okay. I will let you and that website you’re obsessed with spoil me with a fragrant bubble bath.”

He chuckled and kissed my forehead. He walked to the bathroom with my eyes following another particularly huge part of him. All his shorts are so tight on him. Loose bottoms would never exist in his world with how big that ass of his was.

He cleared his throat loudly and I froze, my eyes snapping up to see his reflection in the mirror staring back at me. I caught my own embarrassed reflection. My head tilted as if trying to measure the angles of what makes his muscular behind a spectacle.

“Just worried about your neck there,” he said smugly, flexing for additional effects.

He disappeared and I heard the water running. A few minutes later, he called, “it’s ready, baby.” My heart did a dance at the sound of “baby” rolling off his tongue.

He placed his hands on my shoulder and glanced at my towel-covered body. He cupped my face and gave me a toe-curling kiss. With a hand behind my neck, he pushed me closer to his body and deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue over mine.

I untangled myself away from him and took a shaky breath.

“We’re not trying to make me sorer than I already am, are we?”

“I read that we should try to keep the, um, affected area, lubricated. So…”

I smacked him on the chest and laughed.

“Hey! I’m serious. They say, this way, it does not dry and cause more irritation,” he said defensively.

“And by that, your man mind understood that you need to turn me on until I heal?”

“Did it work? It did, didn’t it?” he said with a broad smile.

I shook my head, “I’m too sore to be turned on,” I said and regretted it immediately when his face fell. “That’s why I need this bath so desperately,” I added quickly.

He moved out of the way and gestured towards the jacuzzi.

“Don’t sit right away. Make sure the water is not too hot for you. It shouldn’t be, but test it out.”

I stepped in the soapy heaven and sighed, “it’s perfect, thank you.”

“I left the jets off, just in case. I’m gonna go prepare us something to eat meanwhile. We haven’t had lunch.”

“You don’t have to go,” I said, knowing that he was trying to give me some space. “I don’t want you to go. We can order something to eat later.”

He smiled and sat on the floor next to the bath. “Aren’t you gonna sit?” he asked. I was still standing, wrapped in a towel. “Um, yeah.”

The embarrassment I felt earlier made another appearance. This time, I was adamant to suppress it for Sidney. He didn’t need to feel worse than he already did. So, I removed my towel and tossed it to the side as casually as I could and disappeared under the bubbles. Okay, maybe I did it a little too fast. I tried to meet his gaze but it was more difficult than I thought.

“How does it feel?”

Maybe I should have let him go work on our lunch after all.

“It’s warm and relaxing,” I said, closing my eyes.

“You don’t have to do this,” he said.

“Do what?” I asked, looking at him this time.

“I know you’re nervous. Don’t try to hide it. I know you like the back of my hand, remember?”

I looked away. Add “feeling stupid” to my mortification.

“What is it? Talk to me, baby.”

I’m gonna have arrythmia if he keeps calling me that. I reached for his hand and he quickly obliged.

“I’m a little, um, it’s just awkward. I mean, my reaction and the whole mess and, I…” I kept my eyes on our laced fingers. “I feel mortified that you had to see all that and that you feel bad when it was not your fault.”

He kissed my hand and rested his cheek on it. “If anyone should be mortified, it’s me. I should have had a lot more self-control. I should have stopped even when you told me not to.”

“No, you shouldn’t have. It was gonna happen eventually, why postpone it? It may take some, um, more tries or something.”

“You want us to do it again?” he asked. There was an undeniable thrill in his question.

“Yes, I mean, not right away obviously. But yeah. Don’t you want to?”

“Are you seriously asking me that?”

“What matters is that it will eventually be comfortable.”

“Is ‘comfortable’ where we’re setting the bar now?”

“You know what I mean.”

“Mia, listen to me. I promise you that I will make it up to. We will find our rhythm. And I will be patient,” he said, his voice dropping a few octaves. His eyes darkened and I felt a strange tightening in my belly.

I nodded and squeezed his hand.

“I trust you.”

*****

The bath had indeed done wonders to every muscle in my body. I felt even better once we started eating.

“Like, how big are you exactly?” I asked.

“Hmm, let’s say, above average,” he said with a lopsided grin.

“Come on, what’s your size? And don’t tell me you don’t know because I’m sure every person with a penis has been caught with a measuring tape at some point.”

He chuckled and took another big bite of pizza.

“I had to know because nothing was working. The regular ones you find on the shelves were either short or painfully tight– not safe, you know what I mean?”

“No, I do not know what you mean,” I laughed. “But I guess I’m a lucky woman. I mean, I will be, once we do this a few times.” I said, failing to maintain my smile.

“You know,” he wiped his lips. “There are things I can do that many, many men can’t,” he said slyly.

“You are a man of many talents. They should write on your posters: Sidney Crosby, endowed on and off the ice.”

Ignoring my comment, he said, “once you adjust to me, I will make you feel like you’ve never felt before. You will experience levels of pleasure that you didn’t even know existed.” His voice and whole demeanor shifted as he said those words. It felt like he needed to say that, to make me this promise. After all, he was the only one experiencing any pleasure today and I knew how much it meant to him to reciprocate in bed.

“Careful, there. You’re setting very high expectations.”

“I’m a confident man, on and off the ice,” he said and winked.

Something about describing oneself as confident did not scream confidence to me.

“Sid.”

“Hmm?” he looked up from his food.

“You’ve got nothing to worry about, okay? It was just our first time. I know how much of a perfectionist you are. While this is good for hockey, there is no room for it in our relationship. Nothing is perfect about us and that’s okay. Now, get this solemn look off your face. You’ve got some icing to do.”

It was my turn to wink.

Notes

Happy Sunday, everyone!