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Falling Fast and Breathing Hard

Titanium

So far, the playoffs have been nightmarish for both Kris and I as we were battling the Flyers. Game 1 took place on a Wednesday evening and all seemed great for the boys as they were winning 3-0, but it's the playoffs, check anything can happen when a team has a lead like this; no lead is safe, not at all, which couldn't have been more true for this game. Philly tied it up 3-3 and took it to overtime.

"Merde." I said, shaking my head.

I turned to Vero and Mary to see their reactions, which were quite similar. When I turned to Kalea, she was fast asleep. She had a long day and I couldn't wait to go home and put her in her crib for the night. Overtime didn't go the way I wanted to... well, every Penguin and Pens fans for. First of all, it didn't take long, second of all and finally, you won't believe it; it was offside, but they still counted. I was livid; I couldn't believe I didn't start cussing, which sounds terrible, considering I have a one-year old daughter with me. I was also pissed about how they got into their heads and let the game slip like a bunch of halfwits.

"Can you believe this? I mean... this game was awful." I exasperated.

"At least, it's only the first game, right? It's not that bad... could be worse." Vero said.

And things did get worse; they became way worse. I was optimistic going into Game 2, but I guess going in a bit too optimistic. They ended up losing 8-5; yes, you heard me correctly, 8-5. After us scoring one of the first four goals in the opening period; it was pretty much the Flyers for the rest of the game. Kris was obviously a mess, but when they scored another eight goals for the second straight game; he reached a breaking point.

"I can't fucking stand this! I can't fucking stand them!" he yelled.

Kris was on his way to the plane and sounded like his blood was boiling. I was glad not to see him like that and hear him yell at home, but at the same time, I want to physically calm him down. You know, give Kris a massage, hug him and kiss him while talking to him.

"I can't either, honey. I'm sorry." I said as my heart broke.

"Thank you. You know you make things at least a little bit better every time I'm down or in the shittiest of moods."

My heart melted this time.

"Thank you. It's my pleasure to make you feel better in whichever way I possibly can."

"I can't wait to come back even though it's just for a day. I need you right now."

After talking for maybe another five minutes, I hung up and anxiously waited for him to come home. The sound of footsteps outside startled me as I had fallen asleep. Assuming it was Kris, I tried to fall back asleep even though I had no idea when I had fallen asleep and for how long.

"Athena?" I heard as the front door opened.

He sounded like he was exhausted and looked the same way too.

"Come sit." I said as I moved, so I was sitting.

He nodded and dropped his bags before walking over and sitting beside me. Kris took my hand in his and sighed, leaning his head back.

"I love you." he said quietly.

"I love you, too." I said in the same tone.

"Care if I take a nap?"

"No. Not at all."

"Thank you. I'm sorry."

It's the second time he's said that in about a week and a half and it all has gone back to the Flyers.

"You don't have to apologize. I understand."

He half-smiled before he and I kissed back. Then, Kris went to our bedroom for a well-deserved nap while I went to Kalea's room to wake her up from her own nap. She was moody as I took that as a sign she knew her daddy wasn't in a good mood or feeling well for that matter; if she's feeling that way, 9/10, it's an indication of how Kris is feeling.

"I know you wanna see Daddy, but he's taking a nap, sweetie." I said as I picked her up and sat her on my lap.

This is when she began to cry. I could hardly get her to stop as much as I spoke to her in a loving way and wrapped an arm around her as we began to sway and I tried to calm her down.

"Would you like something to eat, Kalea?"

I was desperate because I've been trying to cease her crying for the past fifteen minutes. That's when she looked up at me with those beautiful brown eyes of hers and began to sniffle.

"That's my girl. I'm gonna go get dinner ready for Daddy and I too."

I kissed her cheek before I placed her in her highchair in the kitchen. Within a few minutes of me sitting her there, she was a happy one-year old again. When dinner was ready, I felt his arms wrap around my waist.

"Feeling any better?" I asked with a smile on my face.

"A little bit. Sure I'll feel better tomorrow and even more if we come out with a win the following day."

They ended up scoring a whopping ten goals, including a hat trick from Jordan and a power play goal from Kris. It was obviously an insane and unexpected game that I had never seen, never thought I'd ever see. Kris came home as happy as I've seen him since that night we had sex in the kitchen. The following game at home gave them the first low-scoring win which felt weird but normal at the same time as I was grateful and more comfortable with.

"Ready for tomorrow?" I asked Kris over the phone.

Tomorrow afternoon they were due to play Game 6 aka another win or go home game for Pittsburgh. I spoke to him shortly before he went to bed that night in some Philadelphia hotel.

"I am, really. I'm so confident about it. You know? We've worked so hard for the past two games."

I could practically see that amazing smile of his and my heart lit up.

"That's fantastic. I feel the same way. I'm so confident about the game tomorrow. I'm optimistic."

"Really? You think that?"

"Of course. How could I not? Plus, I love you and that goes without saying."

"I love you, too."

I heard him yawn which made me yawn.

"Sounds like you're ready for sleep." I said.

"So, do you."

"I'll let you go then. Have a great game tomorrow. Kalea and I will be watching."

"Ok. Bonne nuit. Je'taime."

"Je'taime aussi. Bonne nuit."

I went to bed happy and relaxed, eagerly see what tomorrow would bring.

"Ready to watch Daddy play today?" I asked Kalea minutes before the game started.

She was decked out in her little Letang jersey just like my adult sized one. I took the adorable giggling as a yes. The game didn't start out very well. Hell, the Pens didn't even score during the first period; they were headed to the locker room down 2-0. I frowned, knowing how difficult it would be for them to come back, but I was optimistic because of how the boys had played for the past two games.

"You think Daddy's team is gonna come back and win?"

She just looked at me; I didn't know what to think of that, but I was a bit nervous to begin with.

"I wish I knew what you're really thinking, baby girl." I said as I stroked her beautiful brown hair.

My mood didn't get better as the game went on. Roughly five and a half minutes in, the assholes scored and made it 3-0. Geno managed to score, but seconds later, we were down by three goals again. I let out a groan of frustration and placed my head in my hands. What ultimately ended the shitty, fucking, nightmarish series was a Philly goal with eight seconds left in the game. I wanted to throw something, but I knew that wasn't an option with my young daughter in the room.

"Fuck." I said quietly.

I couldn't hold it in after watching my boys' faces and the traditional handshakes that come at the end of every series in the playoffs. The look on Kris' face killed me and made me cry a little to be quite honest. He's been a mess several times, but especially after Game 3 and I knew this was gonna be the worst of all. I was slightly worried and scared to see my brokenhearted fiancee walk through the door and I wouldn't be able to calm him down, yet I was prepared for whatever Kris I was going to get. In the meantime, I was going to put Kalea down for her nap.

"Ready for a nap, sweetie?"

She yawned as I picked her up and she rested her head on my shoulder.

"Je t'aime bebe fille." (I love you, baby girl.)

Kris ended up not calling, but he did text me when he was off the plane and driving home in his car. I was on the floor playing with Kalea when he opened the door; he looked awful.

"Hey, Kris."

Kalea giggled when she saw her daddy. She brought a small smile to his face as he sat beside us on the floor.

"Hi." he said, leaning over and kissing me.

"Hi." I said, smiling.

"Hi, Kalea."

She walked over and he kissed her tiny cheek before picking her up and sitting her in his lap.

"You know, I missed you, baby girl. I really did. Did you miss me?"

Kalea giggled again as he began tickling her.

"I'm going to take that as a yes. I love you."

I placed my head on his shoulder and took in the moment; I was melting into him and this future memory.

"You seriously are the best father in the world. Do you know that?" I asked as we ate dinner.

"No way. That honor belongs to your father."

I was speechless.

"That might be one of the sweetest things you've ever said to me. I love you."

"You're too much."

"You're too much. Hey, am I free to ask how you were after the game?"

I bit my lip as I awaited his answer.

"Pretty crappy, if you wanna put it lightly. A defeat like that, a series like that can take a lot out of you, but when I walked through that door and saw you and Kalea, it was pretty damn close to a complete 180. How were you?"

"As a Pens fan, I was livid and heartbroken, but as your fiancee, I couldn't stand to see that look on your face. It nearly killed me."

"But, here you are. Here we are. Alive and well and ready for whatever the world hits us with."

Those couldn't have been wiser words and truer. It was both of us had needed to hear right at this very moment.

Notes

Chapter title courtesy of Titanium by David Guetta (Featuring Sia).

One more chapter, then I'll beginning posting the sequel which is still in its early stages.

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