Falling Fast and Breathing Hard

Today's the day. Today's the day that I marry the man who loves me for who I am, the man who is the father of our child and the person who understands me more than anything and accepts me with all of my faults for the rest of our lives. Our wedding destination stayed the same as our wedding is going to take place in my home state of Maryland; Kris has never broken any of his promises to me and our family and this is clearly no exception. The weather is absolutely perfect as it wasn't too hot or too cool on a beautiful Saturday in July. The people who mean the world to Kris and I are here as they traveled from numerous cities, two countries to be here with us on this lovely day. Mary's my maid of honor as a childhood friend of Kris' is his best man.

"How's my beautiful daughter feeling?" my mom asked.

I'm standing in front of the mirror in the hotel room I stayed at the night before with Kalea and Mary. We had my bachelorette party while Kris, the boys and the rest of his friends had his bachelor party at the same time. We went to a strip club as Vero and Mary were quite persistent; they had that way for the past two weeks. I enjoyed myself, but not a lot though; the only man I wanna see with that scanty amount of clothing is Kris. There is not a single man who can even come close to the way my fiance looks, who is the sexiest man on the planet, if you ask me.

"Physically? Like my heart is about to jump out of my chest. Emotionally? I'm on the verge of tears. You know, I'm happy, scared and anxious all at once."

"That's how I felt before I married your father just minutes until the end of the wedding."

"Are you saying that this feeling's gonna last till then?"

"Everyone's different, but it wouldn't surprise me if it does."

"Wow."

"The second I kissed your father was the happiest 'd ever been until you were born."

We made our way down to where we were supposed to be as we spoke. I was only a couple minutes from walking down the aisle. All my bridesmaids had began walking outside. Kalea was holding Keith's hand while I was waiting for his cue to walk me down the aisle. As much as I love Keith, I had trouble deciding who I'd rather have walk me down the aisle, him or my mom. My dad originally would've had that honor, but obviously he's not here to do that. If my mom was still with Ronnie, she would've been the one for sure. Since I met Keith and saw how happy he made my mom, along with impressing Kalea, Kris and I, that was pretty much it. I also thought of how much my dad would've liked him based on how he treated my mom, his granddaughter, my fiance and I. I never thought since Ronnie that I'd ever trust another man who stole my mother's heart, but here on my wedding day, and I'm just seconds away from walking down the aisle. Then, the music was so close to being played.

"Ready, Athena?" my mom asked.

"Yeah. Kalea, you ready?" I said, trying to kneel down.

"Ya!" she said, nodding.

I kissed her cheek.

"That's my girl. Now, go with Grandma. Ok?"

She nodded again and off Kalea and my mom went in the front row, the music began to play. I took his hand, took a deep breath and we began walking out the huge doors and onto the sand.

"This is freaky." I whispered.

"It is, but it'll turn out great." Keith said in the same tone.

I lightly laughed.

"Ok." I said, smiling.

The second I saw Kris, tears were threatening to fall, but I held most of them, yet one managed to travel down my cheek. He had never looked so handsome and so proud, not to mention, he was probably more put together than I was. Once Keith placed my hand into Kris', more tears flowed down that he willingly wiped away for me with a smile on his face, of course.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we're gathered here today to unite Kristopher Allen Letang and Athena Sky Halloway in holy matrimony..."

I loved hearing his full name for some odd reason.

"Would the groom like to recite his vows?"

Oh my God. What's he gonna say?

The thought just made my heart race faster.

"Athena, you are definitely one of a kind. I never thought I'd meet someone quite as amazing as you, but then it happened and I didn't even realize it the day we met. I never thought we'd be blessed with such a beautiful daughter in less than a year of us being together.

I smiled even more.

"Life has never been better than the entire time we've been a couple. I love you and Kalea more than anything. I can't imagine a life without either one of you."

Then, he slipped that beautiful ring onto my ring finger.

"Would the bride like to recite her vows?"

It took me the longest time to write my vows, but I ended up leaving them back in my hotel room; I was mad and frustrated that I had to recite from memory.

"Kris, you never cease to make me smile. Even on that first day, that emotional day when you were simply a stranger sitting across from me in a restaurant, you were the highlight of my day when I wasn't expecting you to be.

He smiled up at me. Stop. You're making it hard to breathe.

"I uh... love how much you accept my faults and how much you never give up on me. I love that as scared as I was when I learned that I was pregnant with our beautiful and adorable daughter, Kalea, you were right there with me every step of the way. I love you two more than my life. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

I hardly could get that last sentence out, but I somehow did and placed the ring onto his finger.

Ok. Say the words. Please.

"By the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."

He kissed me like there was no tomorrow and I kissed back the same way.

"I love you." I said.

"I love you, too." he responded, taking my head in his hands.

I kissed him again.

"Now, I present, Mr. and Mrs. Kristopher and Athena Letang!"

We raised our arms up as Kris grasped my right hand with his left before we walked down the aisle. Kalea tugged on my dress, clearly wanting me to pick her up, which of course, I did.

"Hi, sweetie." I said, kissing her cheek.

"Hi."

"Hi, Princess." Kris greeted with a small wave.

"Hi." she said, burying her head against my neck.

"Wanna go party now?"

Her mouth dropped, so Kris and I proceeded to laugh.

"I'm gonna take that as a yes."

"You have no idea how much I wanna party." I said to Kris.

"I can't wait to see you party."

He then began to dance which caused Kalea and I to roar.

"Ditto."

My mom had been talking to Keith and Natalie for the past couple minutes and hadn't even said a single word to anyone else like I expected them to, so I interrupted them.

"Mom?" I asked as Kalea said Gamma.

She nearly jumped.

"Oh, Athena! You scared me."

"Sorry. I just wanted to get your attention... you know and talk to you."

"I love to gab. I apologize." she said, placing her hand over her heart.

Forgot about that.

"Oh, I can't believe I didn't remember that."

"That's okay. So, how you feeling? Feeling better?"

"Definitely. I can breathe."

"Feeling better? What was wrong?" Kris asked me.

This is when Kris' mom and stepdad joined us.

"I was feeling like my heart was gonna beat out of my chest. I was anxious and teary as you could clearly see."

I didn't enjoy telling him that, but it was bound to come out whether I wanted it to or not.

"Why were you feeling that way?"

"It's a new chapter. I know we already have a child together, but marriage is something else, something new. My mom felt the same way the day of her wedding."

"That's gotta be a relief."

"You can say that again."

I leaned into Kris as he wrapped an arm around my waist.

"I love you." I said.

"I love you, too."

"Bonjour, Athena." his maman greeted.

"Bonjour."

"How are you feeling now?"

"Like I'm on top of the world. I've been waiting for this day for so long." I said, sighing.

"Woo!" Kalea said, raising her arms.

It was adorable.

"Exactly! Woo!"

After taking wedding pics with the immediate wedding party, we finally arrived to where the reception was to be held, my mouth dropped; it was beautiful and everything I had dreamed it would be and more.

"Love it?" Kris asked from behind me.

"Absolutely. It's perfect." I said, standing up on my tippy-toes to kiss him.

He was a huge part in the entire planning of the wedding even when he was as busy as he was. After everything that had happened with my life up until I met Kris, I never thought a day like this would have ever happened. In addition to that, he gave up his dream of getting married in his hometown of Montreal for my dream wedding on a beach in Maryland, the state where I had grown up in, for goodness sake. Seriously, Montreal is amazing and the fact that he gave it up for me, that must be love.

"I love it, too."

"Ready for the festivities to begin?" Mary asked, grabbing a hold of my arm.

"Of course. Are you?"

"Yeah. I'm ready to get my groove on."

That's when she began where she was standing just like Kris did earlier.

"You're hilarious."

"I got some great moves that you're gonna love.

"Ok. I'll take your word for it."

I shook my head. The last time I guess you can say I actually danced was at my senior prom.

"Why are you shaking your head?" Kris asked.

"The last time I danced was at my senior prom. It's embarrassing. I know."

"No. It's not embarrassing at all. Trust me. I'm not great at it, either."

"I feel pretty confident at slow-dancing though. I may have only slow-danced with 'hewhoshallnotbenamed', but still."

He smiled at me.

"I wanna do that right now, but..."

"It's not time yet."

"Exactly."

"Let's go. We have to go sit at our table."

We knew that Kalea was with Kris' parents near the huge table and went over to see her.

"Princess!" I said, raising up my arms.

"Mommy!"

She practically jumped into my arms as his mom passed her to me, but she glanced over a second at Kris; obviously, she wanted to see him.

"Wanna see Daddy? Ok. Give me a second."

"Kris?" I asked Kris who was talking to his stepdad.

"Yeah?"

"There's a certain someone who would like to see you."

"Does she have short brown hair with a cute bow in her hair?"

"Yes. She certainly does."

"Then, I wanna see her too."

"Here you go, sweetie."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and he wrapped his around her; I took this as an opportunity to take a picture. Once the roughly 200 people were seated, food was being served. I was so excited to eat my steak topped with crab. Oh, how I love Maryland!

"Happy?" Kris asked with an amused look on his face.

"Very much so." I said as I took a bite.

Pure heaven.

Kalea made a face while I tried not to laugh and choke on my food.

"How's your steak?" I asked Kris.

He had the same exact thing as I did.

"Delicious." he said before licking his lips.

I smiled and dug back into my dinner. Minutes later, it was time for at least one toast.

"Hi, everybody. For anyone who doesn't know me, I'm Mary. Athena was one of the first few people I ever met when I moved to Pittsburgh. She welcomed me with open arms and became my first friend here, the first of many. Kris oddly enough became my next one, although I was nervous the first time I met him. What I found out that day was how much they truly loved one another; it was beautiful and still is.

Hearing her say all of this made me smile and tear up a little.

"And I have never seen a happier, more in love couple in my life. I'm so glad I have the pleasure of them being my friends. Congrats on you two finally getting married. Cheers!" she said before raising her glass.

Kris moved closer which I didn't even know was possible and took hold of my hand; I grasped it tightly.

"I love you." I said.

"I love you, too." he said before he kissed me.

Not even a minute later, Kris' best man, John spoke.

"I've known Kris for as long as I can remember, but I've only known Athena for two years which seems crazy now that I think about it. I wish I knew her before that because I consider her to be such a great friend as well as Kris'. I've also never seen Kris as happy as he is with Athena. She brings the absolute best out of him. You two are perfect together. Congrats! Cheers!"

I felt the same way about John as he did about me. Time passed so quickly after that when the music started and I was set to do that first dance with Kris, my heart started to race.

"Ready?" he asked as he reached out his hand to me.

"Definitely." I said with a huge smile.

When we made it to the middle of the dance floor, a very similar tune began to play. He requested that; I just know it. He knows how much I love this song.

"Je'taime." I whispered.

"Je'taime aussi." Kris said in the same tone.

The second he placed his hands onto my hips, I felt chills go throughout my entire body. I wondered what he felt as I wrapped my arms as far as they could around his neck with my arms placed on his shoulders. I began to sway as the first verse started.

Dancing in the dark
Middle of the night
Taking your heart
And holding it tight

Emotional touch
Touching my skin
Asking you to do
What you've been doin'
All over again

I practically melted to him as each lyric was sung. I don't know if I've ever looked into his eyes this way outside of us making love which made me wonder once again what was going through his mind. Those brown eyes of his drive me crazy in the best possible way.

Better than I was
More than I am
And all of this happened
By takin' your hand

Those four lyrics couldn't resonate more with me. I was a mess and trying to get my life back together when I met him. The second I took his hand, that was it and I've never been happier.

It's your love
It just does something to me
It sends a shock right through me
I can't get enough
And if you wonder
About the spell I'm under
It's your love(x3)

After that lyric was sung, I moved in for a kiss which he eagerly responded to.

"You are amazing. " I stated.

"Look who's talking."

I laughed and buried my head into his chest. He wrapped his arms around me as I moved even closer and rested my head against him. I didn't care who was watching out of the 200 guests who were here. It was like we were the only ones here in this building.

"Wanna go get a drink?" he asked.

"I'd love one."

And off we went to get some wine before heading back to our table.

"You made me tear up out there. You know that?" my mom said.

"Really?" I asked.

"You two looked so in love out there."

She was choking up which caused me to became choked up as well.

"I love you, but I need to fix my make-up."

My mom laughed.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I said, hugging her.

"I love you. Today's been so wonderful."

"I couldn't agree more."

I then began thinking of the traditional father-daughter dance I have heard all of my life. I had always dreamed of my dad I having that special dance at my wedding, but I would never have thought I would have that after my father passed. I actually do have the option and I am going to take it. Keith may not be my actual father, but he's the next best thing and treats me like his own daughter.

"How you feeling?" Kris asked.

"Anxious, for some reason."

"It's gonna go well. Trust me."

"I know." I whispered.

"Athena?" Keith called out from the dance floor.

I smiled and walked over to where he was. I blew a kiss to Kris as I walked away.

"Hey."

"Hey, sweetheart." he said, hugging me.

When a very familiar song started, I was in disbelief. It was Over the Rainbow, my favorite song as a child from my favorite childhood movie.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And in the dreams that
You dream of
Really do come true

I wondered who requested it. My mom? Kris? Keith? I was clearly puzzled. Anyway, that first verse truly got to me, especially the last lyrics of it. Kris was a huge part of a dream that I thought would never get, but here we are, on our wedding day, finally married and with our beautiful sixteen-month old daughter. Once the song was over, I hugged him, then heard small footsteps with bigger ones following onto the dance floor.

"Dance?" Kalea asked.

"Dance!"

"Yay!"

"Can I ask you something?" I asked Kris while I held Kalea.

"Anything."

"Who chose that song? Was it you or was it..."

"That was actually your mom. I know how much you love that song, but that was all her."

I smiled before kissing him.

"I don't know if I could love her more. I wanna tell you something."

"What?"

"The whole dance was amazing. It was almost like I was dancing with my father." I said as I began tearing up again.

Kalea touched my face while Kris hugged me.

"Ugh. I love you guys."

"We love you, too. Don't we, Kalea?"

"Ya."

I laughed as I received a kiss from Kris and from Kalea. Three more hours passed and the reception ultimately came to a close. We were ready to get to a hotel to rest before heading to the airport for our flight to Punta Cana, an island in the Dominican Republic.

"Fatigué?"

"Oui."

"Prêt à la tête de l'hôtel?" (Ready to head to the hotel?)

"Mmhmm."

"Moi aussi." (Me too.)

I finished my second glass of wine and became more comfortable with my amazing husband.

"You wanna know what I'm not ready for?" I asked.

"What's that?"

"Leaving Kalea for a week. It'll be the longest time I have ever been away from her."

"She'll be fine. She's strong just like her mommy."

"You're right."

I looked over and saw a sleeping Kalea in my mom's arms as they walked off the dance floor and over toward us. Clearly, our baby girl was ready as well. She would be spending the week with my mom and Keith in Baltimore until Kris and I came back.

"Hi, guys." my mom whispered.

"Hi. How is she?"

"Besides her being asleep?"

"Besides her being asleep."

"She was such a delight I can see her becoming a dancer in the future."

"I can see that, too. How about you, Kris?" I replied, smiling.

"Definitely."

The look on his face was of pure joy and it was priceless.

"How are you two? Eager to go on your honeymoon?"

"You have no idea."

"Well, we are ecstatic to take care of this little princess of yours."

She snuggled into my mom and kept on sleeping; it was way too cute.

"I'm really gonna miss her when we're gone."

"You can say that again." Kris said, touching the soft hair on her head.

"We'll definitely keep in touch while you two are having fun in paradise and time to yourselves."

That had me at ease as it did Kris.

"Ok." I said.

When the time came for us to say our temporary goodbyes to Kalea, I had tears that were threatening to fall.

"Hi, baby girl."

She was still tired and ready for bed.

"Hi sweetie." Kris said.

"Daddy and I have to leave for a while."

She shook her head.

"I'm sorry, but we'll miss you and be back soon. We promise." Kris and I said the last sentence together.

"We love you." we said together.

She whined as we hugged her, but once we kissed her, she seemed to calm down.

"This is one of the hardest things I've ever done. You know?"

I was exhausted and had changed into a nightgown. I practically fell face first into the bed; that's how exhausted I truly was. Kris adjusted me, so my body was actually on the bed before he down beside me.

"And it's gonna be fine."

"Yep." I said, turning to him.

"Can I tell you something?"

"You can tell me anything for the rest of our lives."

For the rest of our lives. I really love the sound of that.

"I love the person you've become over the past two years. It's absolutely amazing. You've overcome a lot and you shine brighter than the sun."

I did not realize he could possibly have more wonderful things to say to me. I immediately kissed him after he said that.

"I love you." I said, looking deeply into his eyes.

"I love you, too." he said, looking at me the same way.

We fell asleep soon after as sleep completely overtook us. Today was the most unforgettable day and will live forever in my heart as will Kris and Miss Kalea, among others, of course. Unfortunately, two of those people in my heart could not physically be here, but I knew spiritually that they were there to celebrate such a wonderful day. Today made me wonder about what else life had to bring, but I knew after all the good and the bad I've gone through in my life, that I'll have Kris with me through it all. I will never love any man more than him and vow never to never let him go as long as we both shall live.

Notes

Chapter title courtesy of It's Your Love by Tim McGraw and Faith Hill.