Having 200 pound plus hockey players pushing me around all the time was something I had gotten used to. But having one particular russian one pressing me up against the counter in my kitchen on a weekly basis was something I don't think could ever feel normal.

“We really can’t keep doing this,” I panted as he attacked my neck. Light kisses that turned into nips making me moan and want him more.
"Da, I mean no we can't," he broke the kiss only to shed himself of his shirt before his rough hands were back on my hips holding me to him.
"We shouldn't," I wrapped my legs around his waist pulling his hips closer not really wanting to stop.
"It's bad, shouldn't do it," he growled at the contact, "but want to," he was well and truly out of breath.
"We should just stop," I pushed his head back from where he was leaving a trail of kisses along my collar bone and goosebumps in their wake.

I thought it would be that simple, I could say no and he would stop, he never preassured me into doing anything I didn't want and if I said no he stopped. The only mistake I made though every time was looking into his eyes.

His large brown orbs were glazed over with lust and desire and I couldn’t say no to a man that wanted me that much.

“Or we could just…” I grabbed his musclar shoulders and pulled him back into me.
"Bed?' he groaned.
"Yes," I latched my lips back onto his and happily let him carry me up the stairs.

For the past two months we had been messing around. He would come over for dinner and when Asher was put to bed things would continue on nine times out of ten ending up in my bedroom or the couch. But he was always gone before morning and honestly sometimes that bothered me, not that I would admit it.

The other day Veronique sat us down for lunch and gave us the third degree about how we were going to ruin everything if we didn’t come up with a better situation.

We knew she was right we couldn’t keep going on with this. I had Asher I had to think of and each day he was getting more and more attached to his company. I had to talk to him.

We were laying in my bed in a daze, his arms wrapped around me as we waited for our heartrates to get back to normal. I loved this part the most, we were silent enjoying each other's company until he left. I knew he didn't like leaving because each time he stayed a little longer and sometimes like now he would even nod off.

I sat up enough that I could get a good look at him. He was such a peaceful sleeper, snoozing quietly as I ran my fingers through his thick brown hair that was well overdue for a haircut.

There was something about his gentle ways, how he was the big russian that when on the ice could be rather intimidating but away from the ice was a big teddy bear. With my son that was another thing, he was amazing with my son and that only made me want him more.

“Mummy!” my eyes widened as my sons scream echoed through the house.

I threw the blankets off of us and scurried out of bed, wrapping myself in my robe and ran down the hall.

“Asher?” I flung his door open to find my little boy curled up in tears.
"Mummy," he peered up at me with tear stained eyes as I moved over to his bedside, "scared."
"It's ok, I am here," I sat down on the edge of his bed and held him while he cried, "shhh sweetie everything is ok."

I loved my little guy, he was the most important thing in my life, before me, before work, before everything it was about him. Seeing him cry like this though made my heart break. I just wished there was something I could do other than hug him and make sure he knew I wouldn't let anything happen until he was settled.

"Is he ok?" he stood at the door to my sons' room a pair of sweats sitting on his hips and looking more than inviting to hug with.
"Yeah just a nighmare," I soothed Asher with a kiss on the forehead as I tucked him in.
"Geno?" Asher spoke up quietly.
"Da," he moved from the doorway and we switched places so he could sit on the little bed with Asher.

I watched in adoration as my son wrapped his tiny arms around Evgeni's neck.
"You ok?" Evgeni whispered tucking him in making sure he was snug in his blankets.
Asher simply nodded before rolling over to hug his teddy.
"Go sleep," Evgeni lent down and kissed his forehead.

Watching them interact made my heart flutter. Just imaging my life together again, sorted, without looking so broken and Asher having someone he could look up to. It made me think more about what Evgeni and I had.

“He is fine,” Evgeni put his hand on my back as I stood by the door watching over my sleeping child.
“I know, it just happens every night and it’s getting stressful,” I sighed relaxing into his embrace.
“Not worry,” he ran his hand up and down my back, "all kids have nightmares," he reasurred me with a press of his lips to the top of my head.

“I should go,” he began to pull away as I got lost in the feeling of being his arms while I watched my son sleep. It was perfect.
“You don’t have to... you could stay,” I offered grabbing his hand before he could get away.
“But what about…?” I pressed my finger to his mouth to silence him.
“I want you to stay,” I wrapped my arms around his neck, “we want you to stay,” I looked at Asher briefly before he grabbed my chin and made me look back at him.
“Ok, I stay,” he smiled and kissed my lips soflty.