Please Remember Me
I.
Cameron nervously watched Jon as he ordered their food. She studied his face one last time, knowing that she wouldn’t see him this happy again. She watched his eyes as they went from the menu and up to the waitress. She took in the sight of his newest scars that he received playing the sport he loved. She took in his brown hair, still we from his post game shower. He had on one of his dress shirts, a white one, with the first few buttons undone. His sleeves were rolled up and he looked comfortable. He looked content.
She went through the script in her head over and over again. She had been practicing it ever since she sat down in the United Center. The words she had to tell him would hurt him just as much as they would hurt her.
Her hands were under the table, hidden so that he couldn’t see her nervously fidget. She wasn’t happy with what she was about to do, but she knew it had to be done.
It wasn’t working between them anymore. They didn’t have time for each other and she was always second best to his hockey career… which she couldn’t blame him for. He was virtually the king of Chicago. The whole city depended on him and his team. He took his job and his responsibilities seriously. So much so that it had earned him the nickname “Captain Serious.” He rarely broke out of his serious demeanor in the public eye. Only a select few people outside of his teammates got the privilege of actually knowing the fun side of him, and she was one of the lucky ones.
She was always career driven herself, she was in the middle of medical school at Loyola, and she had every intention of making sure she would become the best pediatrician she could be, even if that meant cutting off personal relationships. She took her schooling just as seriously as Jon took being on the ice. It was one thing they both had in common, and one of the many things that they knew the other completely understood
Jon had finished ordering their meal and he looked over at her and shot her a smile. “Good game tonight, huh?” he asked taking a drink of his water.
“I can’t compete with hockey anymore, Jon.” Cameron blurted out. She immediately regretted it when she said it. She should have waited until they were alone.
Tears started to form behind her normally bright blue eyes. They were darker now. She felt her whole body tense up. Her hands started to shake as she pushed a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear.
It threw her off-guard. It threw him off-guard.
“Wait, what?” He asked calmly. They were sitting in the middle of a busy restaurant. The Blackhawks won a game 3-2 just an hour earlier at the United Center. 10 seconds ago he was on cloud nine; he always was after a win. But now he felt like he just fell from that cloud and hit the ground hard. He reached for his glass of water and moved it up to his lips. He took a long sip then set the glass back onto the table. His eyebrows furrowed as he circled the rim of the glass with his fingertip. He sat in silence waiting for her to speak.
“Can we go please?” she asked, biting her lip hard, trying to hold in her tears.
He let out a sigh and sat back in his chair. “Yeah.” He said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He left a hundred dollar bill on the table, which would more than cover the food they had just ordered.
Cameron wiped the first few tears away from her eyes before standing up to put on her coat covering up the red and black outfit she had put together before the game. She quickly walked of out dining room and into the lobby. She stopped when she felt his warm presence behind her.
“Cammie, wait.” He said using the nickname only he was allowed to call her. She hated when people called her that, Cammie, it sounded like some stuck up name. Not when Jon said it though.
He placed his hand gently on shoulder. She felt her knees go week and the tears start to flow yet again.
“Can we talk about this, please?” He begged. He opened up the door and led her outside, his arm wrapped around her.
She turned out of his hold and started to walk alone down the street.
“Cammie. It’s not ending like this.” Jon said catching up to her in the cold Chicago night.
“I don’t know how else to do it, Jon.” She said turning towards him. “A clean break. That’s it.” She couldn’t even look at him for the fear of seeing him so sad.
“No.” he said reaching for her hand. “Cammie we can’t do this. Not now, not this way.” He reached up and wiped the tears away from her cheeks. “Cameron Mae, I love you.” He said softly.
“I know, Jon.” She replied. Looking up into his deep, dark chocolate brown eyes.
Snow started to lightly fall all around them. The flakes stuck to his hair and she could see his breath escape from his cherry red lips.
“Can we talk about this, please?” He asked. “Let’s just go home, sit down and talk. We’ve both had a long day.”
She let out a sigh. It wouldn’t matter what he said tonight. She couldn’t take it anymore. “Fine.” She agreed.
He nodded his head and they walked in silence to his car. He opened the door for her, like he always did and didn’t take his eyes off of her as he walked around to jump in on his side. He noticed that she wasn’t looking at him. She wouldn’t acknowledge him. This was bad. Something was wrong and he knew he wouldn’t like the way this night was about to end.
The car ride back to his apartment was in complete silence. The walk into the building was quiet. The ride in the elevator to the 22nd floor was awkward and the distance had already started to grow between them. Once inside, Jon helped her with her coat and they both took a seat on opposite ends of the couch. She stared aimlessly down at the floor. He watched and waited.
“Um.” She said, breaking the silence first. She swallowed hard. “I um. I can’t be with you anymore, Jon.”
“I don’t get it.” He replied. “Did I do something wrong?” he asked.
“No. It’s not you. You’re wonderful, Jon. I could never ask for anything more.” She said. It was the truth too. He was perfect. She started to cry harder. She buried her face in her hands.
Jon got up from his side of the couch and sat down beside her. He gently rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head, taking in the scent of her shampoo.
“You know I mean it when I tell you I love you.” He said.
“I know you do.” She replied sitting up. “But it’s not that easy, Jon. This has never been easy.”
“What’s that mean?” he asked.
“Jon, we’re too busy to be together. I’m always at school or at the hospital. You’re always on the road or at the rink or with the guys. By the time we get to see each other, all we do is go to sleep. We stay in bed all day. We don’t do anything like we used to. It’s tiring. It’s frustrating. Your hockey has always come first. I’m always second best and I can’t hold that against you, I know I can’t, but how am I supposed to carry on with this if I’m always the one supporting you and I don’t get any of the support back?”
Jon let out a sigh. This was exactly why he never got in relationships. Girls always wanted to be with him, but once they were, once they found out how little he got to spend with them, they ran. Now the one girl, the one woman he was able to balance all of that with was running.
She was the first friend he made in the big city. She was a college student then too. They met at the gym and the romance blossomed from there. 3 years later it was dying.
“I’m sorry, Cam.” He said. “I didn’t know you felt that way.”
“Yeah.” She sighed.
He pulled her in close and felt her body shake as she cried into his shirt. He kissed her side of her head one more time. He knew that he had lost her, he was mad at himself for not seeing earlier that he was losing her. He would have done everything in his power to save what they had. This was his own fault.
He looked down at her and lifted her chin up gently. He wiped more tears away from her flushed skin. “What can I do to fix this Cameron?” he asked.
She pressed her forehead to his and let out a sigh. “Let me go.” She whispered. Her hand rose to his chest and she grabbed onto the fabric of his shirt knowing this was the last time she would be safe in his arms.
Jon nuzzled his way down to touch his lips to hers one last time. She was resistant at first, but she couldn’t fight it. She kissed him back, pouring every ounce of love she had for him into his embrace. She held his face in her hand and lightly traced over his scars with her fingertips. They were lines she would never forget; she knew the stories behind them all. But tonight, she was leaving him with the biggest scar of all; on his heart.
She pulled away from the kiss first and slowly let go of him. She took in the sight of him one last time. This time with tears in his eyes.
“Let me walk you out.” He said.
She just nodded. Cameron got up from the couch and walked to the foyer. She buttoned up her coat with him standing right behind her, watching.
All he wanted to do was reach out and grab her and have her stay. He knew better than that, it would only make the pain of losing her worse.
“K.” she said, signaling that she was ready.
He opened up the door and they walked back to the elevator. He held her in his arms one last time on the ride down and walked with her outside of the building.
He gave her one final hug. “Cameron.” He said.
“Yeah?” she asked.
“Please, remember me.”
“Always, Jonathan. Always.” She said.
And just like that, she was gone. He watched as she walked down the busy city street with tears falling from his eyes. The strong tough side of Jonathan Toews had been broken and it would take a long time to repair.
She went through the script in her head over and over again. She had been practicing it ever since she sat down in the United Center. The words she had to tell him would hurt him just as much as they would hurt her.
Her hands were under the table, hidden so that he couldn’t see her nervously fidget. She wasn’t happy with what she was about to do, but she knew it had to be done.
It wasn’t working between them anymore. They didn’t have time for each other and she was always second best to his hockey career… which she couldn’t blame him for. He was virtually the king of Chicago. The whole city depended on him and his team. He took his job and his responsibilities seriously. So much so that it had earned him the nickname “Captain Serious.” He rarely broke out of his serious demeanor in the public eye. Only a select few people outside of his teammates got the privilege of actually knowing the fun side of him, and she was one of the lucky ones.
She was always career driven herself, she was in the middle of medical school at Loyola, and she had every intention of making sure she would become the best pediatrician she could be, even if that meant cutting off personal relationships. She took her schooling just as seriously as Jon took being on the ice. It was one thing they both had in common, and one of the many things that they knew the other completely understood
Jon had finished ordering their meal and he looked over at her and shot her a smile. “Good game tonight, huh?” he asked taking a drink of his water.
“I can’t compete with hockey anymore, Jon.” Cameron blurted out. She immediately regretted it when she said it. She should have waited until they were alone.
Tears started to form behind her normally bright blue eyes. They were darker now. She felt her whole body tense up. Her hands started to shake as she pushed a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear.
It threw her off-guard. It threw him off-guard.
“Wait, what?” He asked calmly. They were sitting in the middle of a busy restaurant. The Blackhawks won a game 3-2 just an hour earlier at the United Center. 10 seconds ago he was on cloud nine; he always was after a win. But now he felt like he just fell from that cloud and hit the ground hard. He reached for his glass of water and moved it up to his lips. He took a long sip then set the glass back onto the table. His eyebrows furrowed as he circled the rim of the glass with his fingertip. He sat in silence waiting for her to speak.
“Can we go please?” she asked, biting her lip hard, trying to hold in her tears.
He let out a sigh and sat back in his chair. “Yeah.” He said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He left a hundred dollar bill on the table, which would more than cover the food they had just ordered.
Cameron wiped the first few tears away from her eyes before standing up to put on her coat covering up the red and black outfit she had put together before the game. She quickly walked of out dining room and into the lobby. She stopped when she felt his warm presence behind her.
“Cammie, wait.” He said using the nickname only he was allowed to call her. She hated when people called her that, Cammie, it sounded like some stuck up name. Not when Jon said it though.
He placed his hand gently on shoulder. She felt her knees go week and the tears start to flow yet again.
“Can we talk about this, please?” He begged. He opened up the door and led her outside, his arm wrapped around her.
She turned out of his hold and started to walk alone down the street.
“Cammie. It’s not ending like this.” Jon said catching up to her in the cold Chicago night.
“I don’t know how else to do it, Jon.” She said turning towards him. “A clean break. That’s it.” She couldn’t even look at him for the fear of seeing him so sad.
“No.” he said reaching for her hand. “Cammie we can’t do this. Not now, not this way.” He reached up and wiped the tears away from her cheeks. “Cameron Mae, I love you.” He said softly.
“I know, Jon.” She replied. Looking up into his deep, dark chocolate brown eyes.
Snow started to lightly fall all around them. The flakes stuck to his hair and she could see his breath escape from his cherry red lips.
“Can we talk about this, please?” He asked. “Let’s just go home, sit down and talk. We’ve both had a long day.”
She let out a sigh. It wouldn’t matter what he said tonight. She couldn’t take it anymore. “Fine.” She agreed.
He nodded his head and they walked in silence to his car. He opened the door for her, like he always did and didn’t take his eyes off of her as he walked around to jump in on his side. He noticed that she wasn’t looking at him. She wouldn’t acknowledge him. This was bad. Something was wrong and he knew he wouldn’t like the way this night was about to end.
The car ride back to his apartment was in complete silence. The walk into the building was quiet. The ride in the elevator to the 22nd floor was awkward and the distance had already started to grow between them. Once inside, Jon helped her with her coat and they both took a seat on opposite ends of the couch. She stared aimlessly down at the floor. He watched and waited.
“Um.” She said, breaking the silence first. She swallowed hard. “I um. I can’t be with you anymore, Jon.”
“I don’t get it.” He replied. “Did I do something wrong?” he asked.
“No. It’s not you. You’re wonderful, Jon. I could never ask for anything more.” She said. It was the truth too. He was perfect. She started to cry harder. She buried her face in her hands.
Jon got up from his side of the couch and sat down beside her. He gently rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head, taking in the scent of her shampoo.
“You know I mean it when I tell you I love you.” He said.
“I know you do.” She replied sitting up. “But it’s not that easy, Jon. This has never been easy.”
“What’s that mean?” he asked.
“Jon, we’re too busy to be together. I’m always at school or at the hospital. You’re always on the road or at the rink or with the guys. By the time we get to see each other, all we do is go to sleep. We stay in bed all day. We don’t do anything like we used to. It’s tiring. It’s frustrating. Your hockey has always come first. I’m always second best and I can’t hold that against you, I know I can’t, but how am I supposed to carry on with this if I’m always the one supporting you and I don’t get any of the support back?”
Jon let out a sigh. This was exactly why he never got in relationships. Girls always wanted to be with him, but once they were, once they found out how little he got to spend with them, they ran. Now the one girl, the one woman he was able to balance all of that with was running.
She was the first friend he made in the big city. She was a college student then too. They met at the gym and the romance blossomed from there. 3 years later it was dying.
“I’m sorry, Cam.” He said. “I didn’t know you felt that way.”
“Yeah.” She sighed.
He pulled her in close and felt her body shake as she cried into his shirt. He kissed her side of her head one more time. He knew that he had lost her, he was mad at himself for not seeing earlier that he was losing her. He would have done everything in his power to save what they had. This was his own fault.
He looked down at her and lifted her chin up gently. He wiped more tears away from her flushed skin. “What can I do to fix this Cameron?” he asked.
She pressed her forehead to his and let out a sigh. “Let me go.” She whispered. Her hand rose to his chest and she grabbed onto the fabric of his shirt knowing this was the last time she would be safe in his arms.
Jon nuzzled his way down to touch his lips to hers one last time. She was resistant at first, but she couldn’t fight it. She kissed him back, pouring every ounce of love she had for him into his embrace. She held his face in her hand and lightly traced over his scars with her fingertips. They were lines she would never forget; she knew the stories behind them all. But tonight, she was leaving him with the biggest scar of all; on his heart.
She pulled away from the kiss first and slowly let go of him. She took in the sight of him one last time. This time with tears in his eyes.
“Let me walk you out.” He said.
She just nodded. Cameron got up from the couch and walked to the foyer. She buttoned up her coat with him standing right behind her, watching.
All he wanted to do was reach out and grab her and have her stay. He knew better than that, it would only make the pain of losing her worse.
“K.” she said, signaling that she was ready.
He opened up the door and they walked back to the elevator. He held her in his arms one last time on the ride down and walked with her outside of the building.
He gave her one final hug. “Cameron.” He said.
“Yeah?” she asked.
“Please, remember me.”
“Always, Jonathan. Always.” She said.
And just like that, she was gone. He watched as she walked down the busy city street with tears falling from his eyes. The strong tough side of Jonathan Toews had been broken and it would take a long time to repair.
Doubt you'll update but I really enjoyed reading it! And it was very well written :)
4/30/14