Please Remember Me

“Tazer, you look like you’re ready to call it a night.” Sharpie said from across the table.

The team had lost their game to the Red Wings in a shootout. After the game, they had dinner as a team at their favorite steakhouse and now a few of them were at a bar. They went to a small hole in the wall joint where they knew they wouldn’t be bothered. It was coming up on midnight and Jon wished he went home hours ago. He knew that if he didn’t go out though, the rest of the guys wouldn’t let him forget about it. Instead, he sat at the table all night, watching out while everyone else played pool, darts and took shots.

“Yeah.” Jon said finishing off his beer.

“What’s wrong with you?” Patrick Kane said playfully hitting Jon upside the head. “Lighten up, the night is young. Let’s do shots!”

Jon shook his head and let out a sigh. “Kaner, you should go home too. It’s past your bedtime.” he said, getting a laugh from the rest of the guys at the table. He reached over and grabbed Patrick’s hat off his head and threw it on the other side of the room.

“Asshole.” Patrick said as he got up to retrieve it.

Ready to get out of here, Tazer?” Sharpie asked.’

“Yeah, let’s go.” Jon stood up from his seat and put his coat on.

He and Sharpie said goodbye to their teammates and walked out the door.

“You alright, Tazer?” Sharpie asked as soon as they were alone.

“Just tired I guess.” He replied, shrugging his shoulders. “I think I’m going to walk home tonight, Sharpie. It’s just a few blocks.”

“You sure?” Sharpie asked.

“Yeah. Talk to you tomorrow, Sharpie.”

“Okay, suit yourself. Have a good one, man.”

“You too, Sharpie. Tell the girls I said hello.” He said with a half smile.

Jon started on his way home. This probably wasn’t his brightest idea. It was still early for a Friday night and chances were someone would recognize him. All he wanted was a quiet walk to himself, a chance to clear the thoughts in his head. He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked up at the skyline around him. He loved this city to death but something wasn’t quite right. Something had been off with him recently and he was having a hard time figuring out exactly what it was. How can someone who has literally everything they’ve ever asked for be so unhappy. This definitely wasn’t helping him get rid of the ‘serious’ demeanor.

He walked about a block before his phone went of. He let out a sigh of frustration and took the phone out of his pocket. It was Sharpie.

“Hello.” He answered.

“Hi Tazer.” Sharpie said. “Look, I know you wanted to get out of the bar and be alone and that’s fine. But seriously, are you okay? You’re starting to worry me. You’ve been pretty down and out these past few weeks.”

“Yeah. No. I don’t know.” He said. “Maybe it’s just the winter that’s getting to me.”

“Tazer.” Sharpie pleaded. “You’re from Canada, I know it’s not the weather.”

Jon let out a small laugh. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“You need to get out more, let Abby set you up on a date with one of her friends or something.”

“You’re joking right? I don’t need help getting girls, Sharpie.”

“I know you don’t. But the kind of girls you “get” aren’t exactly the brightest bulbs in the pack. Go out with someone who has substance, who has brains and not large boobs.”

“I’ll think about it, man.” Jon replied.

“Good. And one more thing.” Sharpie said.

“Yeah?”

“Are you available to watch Madelyn for a little while tomorrow? I wanted to take Abby out for some alone time and give her a little bit of a break.”

“Sure, no problem, Sharpie.”

“Thanks. I’ll text your or Abby will or something tomorrow to let you know a time?”

“Okay. Have a good night.” Jon said.

“Yeah you too, bye.”

Jon ended the call and put the phone back in his pocket. He was more than halfway home now. So much for thing through everything.

_________________________

Cameron did it again.

She stayed at worked longer than planned. Her shift ended nearly 5 hours ago but she was still in the hospital. She didn’t have much to do either. But she stayed behind because of Tommy. There was something about him. Every now and then she would get a patient that would just stick with her, this time it was Tommy. Maybe it was just the kindness of his family; maybe it was because his scruffy blond hair reminded her of her younger brother. Maybe it was because he was a reminder of the love she once had and so abruptly walked away from. Whatever it was, she wanted to make sure that he was okay and recovering smoothly from his surgery before she left for the night.

She asked Meredith for a rain check on their night out, which Meredith wasn’t thrilled about but it didn’t come as a surprise her either. Cameron took offense to Meredith’s initial reaction that she worked too much, but the more she thought about it, the more she knew it was true. Work had consumed her. She barely had a social life anymore, unless socializing with children all day counted.

After filling out the last of her charts, Cameron finally left the hospital. There were people out everywhere as she walked towards her apartment building. She took in the cool, crisp air of the January night and felt relaxed for the first time all day.

She really needed to get out more often.

As she took in the scenes around her, her thoughts kept going back to Tommy and all of his similarities to Jon. The young boy definitely put a smile on her face. No matter how much of the past few years she spent regretting the decision she made to walk away from Jon, she always welcomed reminders of him. Even if they made her cry, much like they had done today.

She spent most of the past 3 years doing everything she could to avoid Jonathan Toews, Captain of THE Chicago Blackhawks. She did everything she could to avoid the sport of hockey. But there was always that part of her that wondered what her life would be like if she stayed with him. Would she have finished medical school? Would she have the job she had today? Would she have a ring on her finger and be living her happily ever after with her Prince Charming? Or would it have ended anyway?

She guessed now she would never really know.

__________

“I mean, don’t you want to have a family someday?” Cameron asked.

She was contently wrapped up in Jon’s arms in front of the fireplace. They sat on the floor under a pile of blankets and had the perfect view of the first snowfall over the Chicago skyline.

“Yeah, I guess. Someday, when I’m not playing hockey.”

“Oh so when you’re like 40? That’s when you’ll start having kids?” she replied.

“Yeah, sure why not?” he shrugged. “I mean, we could do it sooner, but that would mean you’d have to stop school or stop working or something. Which I know you don’t want to do any time soon.”

“No, I don’t.”

“So why are we having this conversation?” he asked kissing the back of her neck.

“It’s something to think about. I mean, if we’re in this for the long haul, these are things we have to discuss.” She said wiggling from his hold. She rolled over to face him.

“Cammie. Long haul or not, we’re in our early twenties. We have awhile to think about these kinds of things.” He pushed a strand of hair behind her. “Why are we even talking about this right now?”

Cameron let out a sigh. “Never mind.” She said, she snuggled into his arms and closed her eyes.

“Cammie.” He said.

“What?” she replied, annoyed.

“Why are you doing this right now? Don’t you think you’re over-reacting just a bit?”

“No. I don’t.” she said pushing herself away from him. She got up from the floor and walked into the kitchen.

Jon rolled over onto his back and pushed his hands through his hair. He stared up at the ceiling for a moment then got up to follow her. He walked up behind her at the counter and rested his chin on her shoulder as she stood there watching the coffee pot fill up with fresh coffee. He wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Babe, what’s the matter?” he asked. “What’s with the nonsense?”

“It’s not nonsense, Jon.” She said.

“Then what is it?”

“I think I’m pregnant.”

Jon woke up in a cold sweat. He sat up in bed and shook his head. He could feel his heart beating fast.

Why was he having a dream about this? Something that happened so long ago? He had avoided that like the plague. Hearing those words come out of Cammie’s mouth was something her would never forget. He would never forget that moment. He was so happy, so scared, so concerned and he just relived it all over again in a dream.

“Shit.” He said falling back onto the mattress. He rolled over onto his side and looked out of the floor to ceiling window that took up an entire wall of his room. He laid there and stared outside until the sunlight broke through thinking about what could have been.