A Tiny Blessing in Disguise
How Far
“Dani, are you mad at me?” I heard my fiancée ask as I stormed into our above average apartment with a hint of anger echoing in each one of my steps. I mean it was supposed to be a simple, nice dinner with some of my bosses but I guess nothing goes quite exactly as planned.
“Am I mad at you?” I snap as I pulled off my simple black pea-coat and calmly hung it up in the hallway closet, “No I am downright furious at you Sidney, you embarrassed me tonight at dinner and in front of my bosses no less” I added finally looking at him for the first time since we left the restaurant, “I mean Sidney these were the same people that was going to give that promotion I have been working my ass off to get to but you could have just ruined that by punching Jason. I’ll be lucky if I even have a job come Monday much less the promotion.”
“Ellie, I said I was sorry” he said softly using the nickname that only he was allowed to use. I quickly looked into his honey brown eyes that I have been in love with since day one and saw the sincerity he held in them feeling myself calm down but not enough to forgive him and his childish behavior.
“No there is nothing to be sorry about. I mean my biggest fear for tonight was that my reputation as a sports journalist was going to be ruined due to the fact that I’m engaged to Mr. Hockey himself. That I would be reduced to stupid covers stories like ‘What does Sidney Crosby wear; boxers or briefs?’ or ‘What type of girl is Maxime Talbot bringing home these days?’ petty gossip shit that abuses my connections with you and the team. But I guess you changed that” I said tearing my big deep dark brown eyes away from him and starting the short walk to our master bedroom which sat at the end of the hall only to be stopped by his large hand wrapping itself around my wrist.
“Ellie, you act like I started it”
“Because you did Sidney; I mean I’m use to Jason. I can take care of myself I am a big girl I know that may be hard for you to believe. But the point is I don’t even know if I can show my face around the office anymore” I say forcefully as I ripped my arm out of his iron grip and continued my way down the hall not even giving him a second look.
“Ellie, please stop and just talk with me. How many time do I have to say I’m sorry?” he said softly making me turn around and seeing him looking at me from behind his thick dark brown curls that were hanging in his face.
“As I said before there is nothing to be sorry about” I say finally being able to control my anger as I leaned my heard against the door frame letting out a loud and exhausted sigh. “You’re just… ugh… I don’t even know what to say anymore I just can’t believe you acted that way. I mean can you really not stand the fact that one asshole of a guy saw me attractive? I mean if I can stand by and watch puck bunnies and fans hanging over you day in and day out. Then you should be able to stand a few hours with a man that is fawning over me because new flash I am going home with you not him. I love you Sidney” I say as I slid off my old pair of black leather high heel shoes as soon as I walked into our bedroom, “I mean do you really not trust me?” I asked quietly as I sat down on the king sized bed playing with the hem of my bright red dress before looking up at him through my dark brown curls that were slowly starting to fall into my eyes.
“Of course Ellie, I trust you with all of my heart. I just get… I don’t know. I mean I just don’t want to lose you” he said taking the few step so that he was sitting next me on the bed and wrapped me up into a big hug which just made me start to cry once I knew exactly what I had to do.
“Well you just might have” I say softly looking at him with tears slowly starting to stream down my cheeks. “I think… I think it might be for the best if we take a step back from one another. I have so much on my plate right now Sid. With me trying to get this promotion; I just can’t worry about where we stand” I add trying to hold back the sobs that was threatening to rake my body. “It just makes the most sense that you keep the ring and I’ll be back when I’m ready. When we’re ready. I mean this is our what, fifth fight this week alone. I can’t stand fighting with you but deep down I can’t stand the idea of us resenting one another either” I mumbled softly while I softly caressed my stomach unnoticed which I just found out today was carrying our baby knowing that it wasn’t just about me anymore, but there is no way I would never tell him that. I couldn’t ruin his career like that. I mean this was going to be a big change to mine but I can handle as I told him before ‘I’m a big girl’. “I think this is the best for both of us. I’m going to get some of my stuff and go find a place to stay the night” I added taking off the simple diamond ring while I got up and quickly packed an overnight bag not even bothering to look him knowing that if I did I could never go on with what I was doing. I couldn’t help but let the tears fall freely as I walked past him and out the door and simply knowing that this may be the last time I ever see him unless in the papers. “I love you, Sidney” I whispered as I closed the door for the last time. I don’t know what I’m going to do now or where I’m going to go but I do know that I’m a big girl and somehow I’ll make it through this.
“Am I mad at you?” I snap as I pulled off my simple black pea-coat and calmly hung it up in the hallway closet, “No I am downright furious at you Sidney, you embarrassed me tonight at dinner and in front of my bosses no less” I added finally looking at him for the first time since we left the restaurant, “I mean Sidney these were the same people that was going to give that promotion I have been working my ass off to get to but you could have just ruined that by punching Jason. I’ll be lucky if I even have a job come Monday much less the promotion.”
“Ellie, I said I was sorry” he said softly using the nickname that only he was allowed to use. I quickly looked into his honey brown eyes that I have been in love with since day one and saw the sincerity he held in them feeling myself calm down but not enough to forgive him and his childish behavior.
“No there is nothing to be sorry about. I mean my biggest fear for tonight was that my reputation as a sports journalist was going to be ruined due to the fact that I’m engaged to Mr. Hockey himself. That I would be reduced to stupid covers stories like ‘What does Sidney Crosby wear; boxers or briefs?’ or ‘What type of girl is Maxime Talbot bringing home these days?’ petty gossip shit that abuses my connections with you and the team. But I guess you changed that” I said tearing my big deep dark brown eyes away from him and starting the short walk to our master bedroom which sat at the end of the hall only to be stopped by his large hand wrapping itself around my wrist.
“Ellie, you act like I started it”
“Because you did Sidney; I mean I’m use to Jason. I can take care of myself I am a big girl I know that may be hard for you to believe. But the point is I don’t even know if I can show my face around the office anymore” I say forcefully as I ripped my arm out of his iron grip and continued my way down the hall not even giving him a second look.
“Ellie, please stop and just talk with me. How many time do I have to say I’m sorry?” he said softly making me turn around and seeing him looking at me from behind his thick dark brown curls that were hanging in his face.
“As I said before there is nothing to be sorry about” I say finally being able to control my anger as I leaned my heard against the door frame letting out a loud and exhausted sigh. “You’re just… ugh… I don’t even know what to say anymore I just can’t believe you acted that way. I mean can you really not stand the fact that one asshole of a guy saw me attractive? I mean if I can stand by and watch puck bunnies and fans hanging over you day in and day out. Then you should be able to stand a few hours with a man that is fawning over me because new flash I am going home with you not him. I love you Sidney” I say as I slid off my old pair of black leather high heel shoes as soon as I walked into our bedroom, “I mean do you really not trust me?” I asked quietly as I sat down on the king sized bed playing with the hem of my bright red dress before looking up at him through my dark brown curls that were slowly starting to fall into my eyes.
“Of course Ellie, I trust you with all of my heart. I just get… I don’t know. I mean I just don’t want to lose you” he said taking the few step so that he was sitting next me on the bed and wrapped me up into a big hug which just made me start to cry once I knew exactly what I had to do.
“Well you just might have” I say softly looking at him with tears slowly starting to stream down my cheeks. “I think… I think it might be for the best if we take a step back from one another. I have so much on my plate right now Sid. With me trying to get this promotion; I just can’t worry about where we stand” I add trying to hold back the sobs that was threatening to rake my body. “It just makes the most sense that you keep the ring and I’ll be back when I’m ready. When we’re ready. I mean this is our what, fifth fight this week alone. I can’t stand fighting with you but deep down I can’t stand the idea of us resenting one another either” I mumbled softly while I softly caressed my stomach unnoticed which I just found out today was carrying our baby knowing that it wasn’t just about me anymore, but there is no way I would never tell him that. I couldn’t ruin his career like that. I mean this was going to be a big change to mine but I can handle as I told him before ‘I’m a big girl’. “I think this is the best for both of us. I’m going to get some of my stuff and go find a place to stay the night” I added taking off the simple diamond ring while I got up and quickly packed an overnight bag not even bothering to look him knowing that if I did I could never go on with what I was doing. I couldn’t help but let the tears fall freely as I walked past him and out the door and simply knowing that this may be the last time I ever see him unless in the papers. “I love you, Sidney” I whispered as I closed the door for the last time. I don’t know what I’m going to do now or where I’m going to go but I do know that I’m a big girl and somehow I’ll make it through this.
7/9/13