Looking Up
Prologue - "We're Alive, We Are Loved"
Sara was 98% sure her heart stopped and the world ceased to spin the second the little pink plus sign reared its perky head for the fifth time. She was light headed sitting on the bathroom floor of her third floor studio apartment with her mind completely blank. She tried to think, tried to force herself to feel something even if it was fear or regret, but nothing happened. Sara focused on the chipped red nail polish on her toes and the way it contrasted with the shinny white of the bathtub her feet pressed against.
There was a knock on her door but she didn’t move. A few seconds later, another knock. By the third knock Sidney tried to open the door, and to his surprise, it was unlocked.
“You shouldn’t leave your front door unlocked, Sara. You never know who could just come in…” Sidney prattled about walking through the small apartment and sitting down on her unmade bed and laying back into her piles of pillows. Sara sighed and using all her energy reached up and pulled the knob on the bathroom door and pushing it open. She was three feet away from Sidney and when he looked over he could see her sitting on the floor of her small bathroom staring at her knees, her hands pushing into the tiles so hard her knuckles were white as snow. “Sara?” Sidney sat up from the bed.
Sara turned her head away from Sidney and pressed her mouth into her shoulder willing herself not to cry. She was not ready for this, not at 24, and not with Sidney Crosby, hockey God and a man she’d only been with for two months. Sara listened to her bed creek and Sid’s feet shuffle across her carpeted floor towards her. He kneeled down at the threshold and pressed his hand to her bare knee.
Sara turned her head towards Sid meeting his eyes for a split second. Her shoulders relaxed as she pulled her hands from the tiled floor and dropped them into her lap.
“Are you sick? Sara, what’s wrong?”
Sara dropped her head into her knees unable to think or process the situation they were thrown into. She tried to open her mouth, tried to form words, but she didn’t even know where to start. A strangled sigh fell out of her lips before she felt Sidney’s arms encircle her body and lift her off of the cold floor. He stuttered a step as he stood up before he walked out of the bathroom and placed her on the edge of her soft bed. He sat down next to her and took her hand between both of his massaging them until her knuckles returned to their pink color.
“Are you sure you’re pregnant?”
He’d obviously seen the clutter of tests in the sink with their ugly pink plus signs. This was not a time for pink. For happy and cheery. This was a time for nerve racking fearful blacks. What was she supposed to do? What was Sidney supposed to do? God, they were all just too young and too new to each other to be going through this. Sidney and Sara had just barely gone public, only a few shots of them out to dinner had been published, how was this going to affect his career? What about Sara? She had never even thought about being a mom, not until she was thirty and settled down for good. And even then she was skeptical.
Sara pressed her hand to her flat abdomen, “I haven’t gone to the doctor yet, but I’m sure.”
Sidney sighed, “What’s next?”
“I have a doctor’s appointment in half an hour.”
“Okay.”
“Okay,” Sara took a deep breath before standing up and walking over to the kitchen area.
--
Sidney promised he wouldn’t leave Sara if she was pregnant before the blood test came back, and reaffirmed that promise after the test came back positive. After the doctor’s appointment the two went to dinner and ate in silence both of them were still processing their own side of the predicament and by nine o’clock the two lay in Sara’s bed shoulder to shoulder staring at the ceiling under the blankets.
Sara tilted her head and rested it on Sidney’s shoulder, “Ethan for a boy,” her voice was just
barely above a whisper and her breath tickled his neck.
“Sophia for a girl,” Sidney said. Sara looked up and could just barely make out the outline of Sidney’s smile in the dark.
“You want a girl don’t you?” Sara said shifting under the blankets and curling herself around Sidney. Sid placed one arm around her shoulders and placed his other hand on Sara’s stomach.
“I want a healthy baby.”
“I’m scared,” Sara whispered.
“Me too.”
There was a knock on her door but she didn’t move. A few seconds later, another knock. By the third knock Sidney tried to open the door, and to his surprise, it was unlocked.
“You shouldn’t leave your front door unlocked, Sara. You never know who could just come in…” Sidney prattled about walking through the small apartment and sitting down on her unmade bed and laying back into her piles of pillows. Sara sighed and using all her energy reached up and pulled the knob on the bathroom door and pushing it open. She was three feet away from Sidney and when he looked over he could see her sitting on the floor of her small bathroom staring at her knees, her hands pushing into the tiles so hard her knuckles were white as snow. “Sara?” Sidney sat up from the bed.
Sara turned her head away from Sidney and pressed her mouth into her shoulder willing herself not to cry. She was not ready for this, not at 24, and not with Sidney Crosby, hockey God and a man she’d only been with for two months. Sara listened to her bed creek and Sid’s feet shuffle across her carpeted floor towards her. He kneeled down at the threshold and pressed his hand to her bare knee.
Sara turned her head towards Sid meeting his eyes for a split second. Her shoulders relaxed as she pulled her hands from the tiled floor and dropped them into her lap.
“Are you sick? Sara, what’s wrong?”
Sara dropped her head into her knees unable to think or process the situation they were thrown into. She tried to open her mouth, tried to form words, but she didn’t even know where to start. A strangled sigh fell out of her lips before she felt Sidney’s arms encircle her body and lift her off of the cold floor. He stuttered a step as he stood up before he walked out of the bathroom and placed her on the edge of her soft bed. He sat down next to her and took her hand between both of his massaging them until her knuckles returned to their pink color.
“Are you sure you’re pregnant?”
He’d obviously seen the clutter of tests in the sink with their ugly pink plus signs. This was not a time for pink. For happy and cheery. This was a time for nerve racking fearful blacks. What was she supposed to do? What was Sidney supposed to do? God, they were all just too young and too new to each other to be going through this. Sidney and Sara had just barely gone public, only a few shots of them out to dinner had been published, how was this going to affect his career? What about Sara? She had never even thought about being a mom, not until she was thirty and settled down for good. And even then she was skeptical.
Sara pressed her hand to her flat abdomen, “I haven’t gone to the doctor yet, but I’m sure.”
Sidney sighed, “What’s next?”
“I have a doctor’s appointment in half an hour.”
“Okay.”
“Okay,” Sara took a deep breath before standing up and walking over to the kitchen area.
--
Sidney promised he wouldn’t leave Sara if she was pregnant before the blood test came back, and reaffirmed that promise after the test came back positive. After the doctor’s appointment the two went to dinner and ate in silence both of them were still processing their own side of the predicament and by nine o’clock the two lay in Sara’s bed shoulder to shoulder staring at the ceiling under the blankets.
Sara tilted her head and rested it on Sidney’s shoulder, “Ethan for a boy,” her voice was just
barely above a whisper and her breath tickled his neck.
“Sophia for a girl,” Sidney said. Sara looked up and could just barely make out the outline of Sidney’s smile in the dark.
“You want a girl don’t you?” Sara said shifting under the blankets and curling herself around Sidney. Sid placed one arm around her shoulders and placed his other hand on Sara’s stomach.
“I want a healthy baby.”
“I’m scared,” Sara whispered.
“Me too.”
absolutely love it I can't wait for more chapters! :)
6/15/13