Forever
Hurt
2009:
I was just going to take my bags when I felt the arms of my best friend, Ella, around me.
“It will be okay”, she whispered in my ear. “Everything is going to be okay”
Would it be okay? Maybe it would be okay, maybe it would not be okay. Would I be okay? How I felt right now, I would say no. I loved him, I did. Or, I still love him, I mean, because I do love him.
I left Toronto for him. He told me he couldn’t imagine not having me around him all the time. And I moved to Chicago, for him. I left my life, my friends and my family for him. And he cheats on me twice, or maybe more than twice times.
I knew he would probably cheat on me, when I moved to Chicago. But what I didn’t know, were the fact it would hurt this much.
“Oh, Bianca…”, Ella said and looked into my tear-filled eyes. “I know you’re heartbroken, but does he really deserve your tears?”
Was he worth my tears? No, he wasn’t. But I was hurt, broken, disappointed etc. He made me feel like shit. But no, he was definitely not worth my tears.
“No…”, I replied. My voice cracked, and I began crying again. I really felt like shit. It felt like everything was dark, and there were no light.
Ella sighed, and mumbled something like “I’ll beat the shit out of him”, and tried to make me stop crying. How much she tried with telling me things like “it would be okay”, and “you’ll find someone better”, I couldn’t stop.
I cried the whole night. The tears didn’t end.
I was just going to take my bags when I felt the arms of my best friend, Ella, around me.
“It will be okay”, she whispered in my ear. “Everything is going to be okay”
Would it be okay? Maybe it would be okay, maybe it would not be okay. Would I be okay? How I felt right now, I would say no. I loved him, I did. Or, I still love him, I mean, because I do love him.
I left Toronto for him. He told me he couldn’t imagine not having me around him all the time. And I moved to Chicago, for him. I left my life, my friends and my family for him. And he cheats on me twice, or maybe more than twice times.
I knew he would probably cheat on me, when I moved to Chicago. But what I didn’t know, were the fact it would hurt this much.
“Oh, Bianca…”, Ella said and looked into my tear-filled eyes. “I know you’re heartbroken, but does he really deserve your tears?”
Was he worth my tears? No, he wasn’t. But I was hurt, broken, disappointed etc. He made me feel like shit. But no, he was definitely not worth my tears.
“No…”, I replied. My voice cracked, and I began crying again. I really felt like shit. It felt like everything was dark, and there were no light.
Ella sighed, and mumbled something like “I’ll beat the shit out of him”, and tried to make me stop crying. How much she tried with telling me things like “it would be okay”, and “you’ll find someone better”, I couldn’t stop.
I cried the whole night. The tears didn’t end.
8/16/13