I Was a Dreamer before You Went and Let Me Down
Every Time I Fall Asleep My Dreams are Haunted
-Jonathan-
“One night trips to Buffalo gonna become a habit there Tazer?” Patrick Sharp jokes from the other side of the locker room as I enter; I laugh and wave him off
“Nice Captainly example you’re setting there” Shawzer jokes and I roll my eyes
“Gotta do what you gotta do for your girl right capt?” Bryan Bickell laughs making kissy faces
“Alright, who told you assholes I went to Buffalo?” I ask jokingly taping my stick
“Kaner” they chorus and I sigh
“Of course he did” I say sarcastically getting up from my spot and making my way to find him “Kaner” I say walking into the gym part of the arena to see him riding one of the stationary bikes he nods in acknowledgement for me to continue “You gonna tell the whole team I got a girlfriend in your hometown?” he just shrugs “Jealous?”
“Of you and Jesy?” he asks and I nod “Never in a million years dude, like I said she’s Crosby’s girl”
“Not anymore” I say getting on the bike next to him
“So the rumors of her being one were true” he says turning his head towards the TV
“Were being the operative word” I say doing the same
“So then what constitutes a one night trip to Buffalo?” he says and I roll my eyes
“Well” I start “Kaner this doesn’t leave your mouth” he nods “No seriously Pat, nobody hears this but you” he stops peddling and turns to face me
“What’s wrong with Jesy, I mean we weren’t great friends growing up but I know her she was around my neighborhood a lot, is she in trouble?”
“She’s pregnant”
“Shit! Dude! What the hell!”
“It’s not mine, keep your voice down!” I say and his eyes go wide
“Crosby’s?” he asks and I only nod “End it now Jon, I’m telling you this as a friend, they’ve got history and now a kid on the way she may be your girl for the moment, but she’ll always be his” I just roll my eyes and get off the stationary bike
“See ya on the ice” I say and make my way out of the gym
-Sidney-
I feel myself dozing off as Coach speaks critiquing every aspect of practice, mostly this is for the rookies, but as the captain I have to be here
“Sid, anything to add?” he says and I groan inside I knew this was coming I knew I should have paid attention
“Uh, it’s looking pretty good on the ice, I think mainly we all just need to shake off last season. Take a deep breath let the puck find you, and always keep your head up” I look around the room at some veteran players and some rookies “And by let the puck find you, I don’t mean let it find your mouth” I joke the rookies laugh and the tension and apprehension leaves their faces. I nod at Dan and he dismisses everyone
“Long night?” Someone asks as we make our way out of the locker room as I yawn
“Something like that” I say as my mind wanders back over the dream of this time twins being born and the scrutiny Jesy would face, I yawn again “Anyone seen Geno?”
“Trainers office last I seen” one of the rookies who’s name I haven’t learned yet says and I nod in thanks making my way there.
As I’m about to open the door it swings open revealing exactly the person I was looking for “Geno? Can I talk to you for a second?” I say he only nods and we make our way down the hall
“Is about Jesy?” he asks and I turn to him and nod
“She talked to you already didn’t she?” I ask and he nods “Listen Geno, I know she’s one of your best friends and right now you probably want to kill me, but I don’t regret that baby”
“Is” he stops and thinks mumbles something in Russian and then looks at me bewildered “How to say, I don’t know” he settles for and I nod
“Geno I know you’re probably thinking in some way, it’s irresponsible or that it was stupid on both our parts. You probably want to tell me I took advantage of Jesy, and I’m sure you want to call me an asshole or some other variation of that, but you need to understand something. The way this is, the way her and I are, is not what I wanted, I’m not blaming her either she is totally innocent in every issue that’s ever happened in our relationship. If you were faced with a choice between your career and a girlfriend, then you’d understand”
“Girl like Jesy? Loves you as much as she does, easy choice” he says
“Geno” I start with a sigh and he stops me
“Jesy will love Sid always, you think hockey more important than that? Is best game in the world yes, you best player yes, but team in Buffalo would not care Sid has girlfriend, all over NHL would not care. Career was not in danger, just stupid Sid”
“It wasn’t that easy, this team had so many expectations for me; my success in the juniors had people predicting consistent 100 point plus seasons out of me. Then turn around and I become the youngest captain in the league with a contract that at the time I thought was ridiculous- and sometimes still do- all I’ve known my entire life is hockey, that’s been the one constant in my life” Geno shakes his head as I ramble and I sigh irritated “What?”
“Don’t want to, I think word is jinx?” I nod and he continues “Hockey could end tomorrow for you, for any player. Jesy is only thing really always been there for Sid. You let her down a lot, now going to let down her and baby?”
“I never even wanted to let her down” I say running a hand through my hair “It’s complicated”
Geno just stands quietly for a minute before nodding once “You love her” he says plainly, it’s not a question, it’s not past tense, it’s the words I’ve been trying to say since the day I flew to Buffalo after winning the cup.
“Yeah, I do” I say feeling the invisible weight lifting off my shoulders
“Should tell her, I know already” he says and walks away
-Jesy-
I take my time cleaning and restocking the bar, it’s early and there’s no reason. I open the front door letting the surprisingly warm for this time of year air make its way into the bar. I turn on the radio as I sweep and mop the floor and then start dusting all the hockey memorabilia on the walls. I hear footsteps enter through the door and speak without turning
“Sorry but we’re closed”
“Jessica” I turn to see a stern looking Jay McKee staring at me
“Yeah” I say cautiously
“Pregnant?”
“I’m gonna kill Amy” I mumble
“It’s not her fault, I overheard her planning your baby shower with Jaime. Pregnant? Do you know how irresponsible that is? Do you know how bad that reflects on you, you’ve been with Toews for what a month?”
“It’s not Jon’s” I say quietly
“Oh that’s just priceless there, that reflects really well on your image dating a NHL player, knocked by some random guy”
“The baby is Sidney’s” I mumble and he laughs
“Oh isn’t that just rich, Sidney fucking Crosby the NHL’s golden boy who can do no wrong knocks up his ex and then passes her off to another captain”
“He did not” I start and Jay cuts me off
“You don’t think I know that? I’ve known you for quiet sometime Jesy, I know your real personality I know that you aren’t just one of those girls trying to get any NHL players attention that she can but no one else knows that, and weather you would like to admit it or not you’re dating a current Stanley Cup winning captain people are going to know who you are, and it won’t be long before the recognize you as the girl on Google locking lips with the face of the fucking league after he won the Cup. Then from there it won’t be long before they realize you’re pregnant because you’re going to gain weight and people are going to find out and you know what happens from there Jesy? From there it won’t be long before they think the baby is Jon’s, which will be fine unless the kid turns out to look like Crosby, and you better believe he’s going to want that famous last name carried on. It’s a matter of time before they start labeling you as a puck bunny” he finally stops talking and looks at me while sitting at one of the tables
“This isn’t how I imagined things! Do you think I planned this? Do you think I wanted this Jay? Damn it, this was never in my plans, if you would have asked me 4 years ago where I saw myself today it would not be here. I thought I was sure of everything when I started dating Sid, this damn league changed him, I didn’t do that, I didn’t change. Don’t you dare try and say I walked away from that relationship don’t you dare pin that on me and any fan that wants to can go to hell, they’re the reason I lost him. That Cup is the reason I lost him, this fucking game made HIM walk away from ME, and don’t you dare tell me how people will see me cause I already know!” I sink down in a chair across from him taking a deep breath “I already know” I whisper suddenly on the edge of tears “And I’m scared, what do I say? How do I tell my parents?” I feel the first of the tears I know are coming slide down my cheek “Do you think you could just help me for once instead of lecturing me Jay, you used to be the cool adopted uncle”
“Jesy I’m sorry hon. I told him years ago not to break your heart, I’ve always thought of you as a niece and you know that and I’m sorry I didn’t make sure he treated you better”
“Ya know” I say wiping the tears off my face “I keep having this dream that everything just turns out ok with Sid and I and the baby, and then I turn around and in the same dream nothing turns out right and Sid and Jon are just fighting over every little thing and it affects the way they play and then I have 2 entire hockey clubs that hate me, and even though I’m in the dream I feel like I’m watching a terrible love triangle movie, and when I’m faced with a choice between the 2 I always wake up in a panic before I chose”
“Who would you chose?” he asks quietly grabbing the box of tissue from behind the bar and I shrug “Oh you know who you would chose, you just don’t want to tell me. It’s ok I already know”
“How could you possibly” I start to ask and he laughs
“Jesy he’s broken your heart in a million pieces and reduced you to tears and yet all I have to say is Sidney and your face lights up, you still love him, and secretly you’re crossing your fingers that part one of your dream just comes true one day”
“One night trips to Buffalo gonna become a habit there Tazer?” Patrick Sharp jokes from the other side of the locker room as I enter; I laugh and wave him off
“Nice Captainly example you’re setting there” Shawzer jokes and I roll my eyes
“Gotta do what you gotta do for your girl right capt?” Bryan Bickell laughs making kissy faces
“Alright, who told you assholes I went to Buffalo?” I ask jokingly taping my stick
“Kaner” they chorus and I sigh
“Of course he did” I say sarcastically getting up from my spot and making my way to find him “Kaner” I say walking into the gym part of the arena to see him riding one of the stationary bikes he nods in acknowledgement for me to continue “You gonna tell the whole team I got a girlfriend in your hometown?” he just shrugs “Jealous?”
“Of you and Jesy?” he asks and I nod “Never in a million years dude, like I said she’s Crosby’s girl”
“Not anymore” I say getting on the bike next to him
“So the rumors of her being one were true” he says turning his head towards the TV
“Were being the operative word” I say doing the same
“So then what constitutes a one night trip to Buffalo?” he says and I roll my eyes
“Well” I start “Kaner this doesn’t leave your mouth” he nods “No seriously Pat, nobody hears this but you” he stops peddling and turns to face me
“What’s wrong with Jesy, I mean we weren’t great friends growing up but I know her she was around my neighborhood a lot, is she in trouble?”
“She’s pregnant”
“Shit! Dude! What the hell!”
“It’s not mine, keep your voice down!” I say and his eyes go wide
“Crosby’s?” he asks and I only nod “End it now Jon, I’m telling you this as a friend, they’ve got history and now a kid on the way she may be your girl for the moment, but she’ll always be his” I just roll my eyes and get off the stationary bike
“See ya on the ice” I say and make my way out of the gym
-Sidney-
I feel myself dozing off as Coach speaks critiquing every aspect of practice, mostly this is for the rookies, but as the captain I have to be here
“Sid, anything to add?” he says and I groan inside I knew this was coming I knew I should have paid attention
“Uh, it’s looking pretty good on the ice, I think mainly we all just need to shake off last season. Take a deep breath let the puck find you, and always keep your head up” I look around the room at some veteran players and some rookies “And by let the puck find you, I don’t mean let it find your mouth” I joke the rookies laugh and the tension and apprehension leaves their faces. I nod at Dan and he dismisses everyone
“Long night?” Someone asks as we make our way out of the locker room as I yawn
“Something like that” I say as my mind wanders back over the dream of this time twins being born and the scrutiny Jesy would face, I yawn again “Anyone seen Geno?”
“Trainers office last I seen” one of the rookies who’s name I haven’t learned yet says and I nod in thanks making my way there.
As I’m about to open the door it swings open revealing exactly the person I was looking for “Geno? Can I talk to you for a second?” I say he only nods and we make our way down the hall
“Is about Jesy?” he asks and I turn to him and nod
“She talked to you already didn’t she?” I ask and he nods “Listen Geno, I know she’s one of your best friends and right now you probably want to kill me, but I don’t regret that baby”
“Is” he stops and thinks mumbles something in Russian and then looks at me bewildered “How to say, I don’t know” he settles for and I nod
“Geno I know you’re probably thinking in some way, it’s irresponsible or that it was stupid on both our parts. You probably want to tell me I took advantage of Jesy, and I’m sure you want to call me an asshole or some other variation of that, but you need to understand something. The way this is, the way her and I are, is not what I wanted, I’m not blaming her either she is totally innocent in every issue that’s ever happened in our relationship. If you were faced with a choice between your career and a girlfriend, then you’d understand”
“Girl like Jesy? Loves you as much as she does, easy choice” he says
“Geno” I start with a sigh and he stops me
“Jesy will love Sid always, you think hockey more important than that? Is best game in the world yes, you best player yes, but team in Buffalo would not care Sid has girlfriend, all over NHL would not care. Career was not in danger, just stupid Sid”
“It wasn’t that easy, this team had so many expectations for me; my success in the juniors had people predicting consistent 100 point plus seasons out of me. Then turn around and I become the youngest captain in the league with a contract that at the time I thought was ridiculous- and sometimes still do- all I’ve known my entire life is hockey, that’s been the one constant in my life” Geno shakes his head as I ramble and I sigh irritated “What?”
“Don’t want to, I think word is jinx?” I nod and he continues “Hockey could end tomorrow for you, for any player. Jesy is only thing really always been there for Sid. You let her down a lot, now going to let down her and baby?”
“I never even wanted to let her down” I say running a hand through my hair “It’s complicated”
Geno just stands quietly for a minute before nodding once “You love her” he says plainly, it’s not a question, it’s not past tense, it’s the words I’ve been trying to say since the day I flew to Buffalo after winning the cup.
“Yeah, I do” I say feeling the invisible weight lifting off my shoulders
“Should tell her, I know already” he says and walks away
-Jesy-
I take my time cleaning and restocking the bar, it’s early and there’s no reason. I open the front door letting the surprisingly warm for this time of year air make its way into the bar. I turn on the radio as I sweep and mop the floor and then start dusting all the hockey memorabilia on the walls. I hear footsteps enter through the door and speak without turning
“Sorry but we’re closed”
“Jessica” I turn to see a stern looking Jay McKee staring at me
“Yeah” I say cautiously
“Pregnant?”
“I’m gonna kill Amy” I mumble
“It’s not her fault, I overheard her planning your baby shower with Jaime. Pregnant? Do you know how irresponsible that is? Do you know how bad that reflects on you, you’ve been with Toews for what a month?”
“It’s not Jon’s” I say quietly
“Oh that’s just priceless there, that reflects really well on your image dating a NHL player, knocked by some random guy”
“The baby is Sidney’s” I mumble and he laughs
“Oh isn’t that just rich, Sidney fucking Crosby the NHL’s golden boy who can do no wrong knocks up his ex and then passes her off to another captain”
“He did not” I start and Jay cuts me off
“You don’t think I know that? I’ve known you for quiet sometime Jesy, I know your real personality I know that you aren’t just one of those girls trying to get any NHL players attention that she can but no one else knows that, and weather you would like to admit it or not you’re dating a current Stanley Cup winning captain people are going to know who you are, and it won’t be long before the recognize you as the girl on Google locking lips with the face of the fucking league after he won the Cup. Then from there it won’t be long before they realize you’re pregnant because you’re going to gain weight and people are going to find out and you know what happens from there Jesy? From there it won’t be long before they think the baby is Jon’s, which will be fine unless the kid turns out to look like Crosby, and you better believe he’s going to want that famous last name carried on. It’s a matter of time before they start labeling you as a puck bunny” he finally stops talking and looks at me while sitting at one of the tables
“This isn’t how I imagined things! Do you think I planned this? Do you think I wanted this Jay? Damn it, this was never in my plans, if you would have asked me 4 years ago where I saw myself today it would not be here. I thought I was sure of everything when I started dating Sid, this damn league changed him, I didn’t do that, I didn’t change. Don’t you dare try and say I walked away from that relationship don’t you dare pin that on me and any fan that wants to can go to hell, they’re the reason I lost him. That Cup is the reason I lost him, this fucking game made HIM walk away from ME, and don’t you dare tell me how people will see me cause I already know!” I sink down in a chair across from him taking a deep breath “I already know” I whisper suddenly on the edge of tears “And I’m scared, what do I say? How do I tell my parents?” I feel the first of the tears I know are coming slide down my cheek “Do you think you could just help me for once instead of lecturing me Jay, you used to be the cool adopted uncle”
“Jesy I’m sorry hon. I told him years ago not to break your heart, I’ve always thought of you as a niece and you know that and I’m sorry I didn’t make sure he treated you better”
“Ya know” I say wiping the tears off my face “I keep having this dream that everything just turns out ok with Sid and I and the baby, and then I turn around and in the same dream nothing turns out right and Sid and Jon are just fighting over every little thing and it affects the way they play and then I have 2 entire hockey clubs that hate me, and even though I’m in the dream I feel like I’m watching a terrible love triangle movie, and when I’m faced with a choice between the 2 I always wake up in a panic before I chose”
“Who would you chose?” he asks quietly grabbing the box of tissue from behind the bar and I shrug “Oh you know who you would chose, you just don’t want to tell me. It’s ok I already know”
“How could you possibly” I start to ask and he laughs
“Jesy he’s broken your heart in a million pieces and reduced you to tears and yet all I have to say is Sidney and your face lights up, you still love him, and secretly you’re crossing your fingers that part one of your dream just comes true one day”
@Psquared524
At the moment no there will not be a sequel, I don't ever rule out the possibility of anything I write some day having one strictly because some day an idea may arise that would just work. But no at this moment, this is it, for a while I'm going to concentrate on one shots or short stories seeing as I generally tend to lose focus or direction on longer stories which is evident with this story.
5/10/14