A ship in harbour is safe, but that's not why ships are built.
two
Ana dragged down her suitcases to the foyer. Sidney sat up, eating his breakfast and sipping coffee while flipping through the sports channels on TV. “Morning.” He mumbled setting down the remote.
“Morning.” She gave a half smile, her voice hoarse from inactivity. Halfway back up the grand staircase to get another bag he called out to her.
“What are you doing?” he asked, his voice shaky.
“Um..packing. I thought, you know, since we….” she trailed off. Her heart pounded in her throat.
“I don’t want…you to move out.” He said standing and walking towards her. His strides were authoritative and meaningful, but his face soft and relaxed. He reached her and put his hands on her face. “I haven’t given up….on us. Unless you don’t want to be with me at all.” He said staring into her eyes, looking for any sign that she wanted it to be over.
She couldn’t look at him. “I just want to forget about all of this.” She said earnestly, her head dipped into the crook of his neck and her tears soaked his day old dress shirt. He was still in his outfit from the day before, but he had shed the jacket, tie, and belt. He tangled his fingers in her hair; an odd mix of pain and empathy flowed through him.
Deep down he couldn’t be mad at her. He knew she wasn’t ready, but he willed himself to believe she was. He was hurt, embarrassed and humiliated, but he, the most private of guys made his proposal as public as possible. He hated her best friends. They made him think she was ready and he’d never forgive them for it.
Ana was always the kind of person who’d rather give than receive. The kind of person to choose a career in social work instead of physics, like her parents and her high IQ suggested she should.
Lyrics from one of her favorite songs rang in her hears. I know it’s hurting you, but it’s killing me she echoed to herself. She wrapped her arms tightly around his waist and fell into him. She briefly thought about hurting herself as some act of repentance. She’d rather jump off the Veteran’s bridge than hurt him for even a split second. He pressed a kiss to her temple as his fingers ran up and down her back.
“You’re beautiful sweetheart.” He said into her ear.
“You’re not so bad yourself.” Ana giggled taking a sip of her drink. The club was loud and dark. It was as if they entered another world. She sat alone, her friends would be meeting her soon. She wore galaxy leggings with black stilettos and a brand new, black, low cut top. Apparently the new shirt helped. A tall, blonde haired, blue eyed man approached her and bought her a drink.
“So uh, you wanna hook up tonight?” he asked, hand on her lower back.
Feeling a little warm and having not felt a man in a few months she sent him a warm smile. “Sure. My place or yours?” she yelled over the music. Then he looked over his shoulder and winked at a few friends. She heard a roar of laughter as the group of frat-boy looking men cackled at her expense.
“You really thought that…” he laughed, flexing his biceps through his shirt.
It was all a joke. She was a joke. She was a form of entertainment to them. She’d never be able to pull a guy like him. Yeah, she had a cute face, but that size 2XL top would never get a boy with abs. She stood and refused to let them get the satisfaction of seeing her cry. She turned and left, never to return to that Boston bar. Or Boston. She got hundreds of phone calls. Wondering why she never met them at the bar that night. Why her apartment was all packed up. Why she hadn’t given a proper 2 weeks notice.
She was heavier then. Before she met Sid. Before she moved out of Massachusetts. She hated home. Home always felt uneasy. She was never comfortable, until she moved to the steel city. Until she met him.
He walked them down the stairs and he sat on the couch. He pulled her onto his lap and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders.
“I’m so sorry Sidney. I’m sorry.” She began to cry. He felt miserable. No matter how hard he tried to blame her for saying no, it was still his fault. He willed himself to believe that she’d have gotten over her daddy issues and her trust issues already.
“It’s okay. Really. Wanna watch a movie or something?” he suggested, nuzzling his face into her neck. His 5 o’clock shadow tickled her skin and her lips finally crept into a genuine smile. She nodded silently as he reached forward to the coffee table, dipping her with him. He flipped through the premium movie channels and settled on HBO. They were playing her favorite movie, Star Trek. She scooted down and rested her head on his huge thighs.
They watched in a peaceful silence and he rubbed her arm gently as she traced small shapes into his the inside of his knee.
“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, gripping her shoulder tight.
“Why?” she asked in surprise. She turned to face him and watched his curls flop in front of his face.
“I think I knew deep down that it wasn’t time, but I had everyone come up here just hoping you’d say yes. I put you on the spot and ambushed you. I wasn’t being….a good teammate to you.”
She closed her eyes as he spoke. “It’s okay.” She said numbly, picking at the lose thread at seam of his pants.
He slipped out from underneath her and moved behind her, spooning gently on the couch.
“I think we both just need time to heal.” He whispered into the back of her neck. His lips were hot on her and she shivered. His arms seemed to re-explore her body as if he’d forgotten what it felt like. Her muscles relaxed as she let his body envelop her.
“Too bad the season is about to start.” She sighed, losing hope.
“It will be okay. We will be okay.” He proclaimed with confidence in his voice. This relationship he would not ruin.
“Morning.” She gave a half smile, her voice hoarse from inactivity. Halfway back up the grand staircase to get another bag he called out to her.
“What are you doing?” he asked, his voice shaky.
“Um..packing. I thought, you know, since we….” she trailed off. Her heart pounded in her throat.
“I don’t want…you to move out.” He said standing and walking towards her. His strides were authoritative and meaningful, but his face soft and relaxed. He reached her and put his hands on her face. “I haven’t given up….on us. Unless you don’t want to be with me at all.” He said staring into her eyes, looking for any sign that she wanted it to be over.
She couldn’t look at him. “I just want to forget about all of this.” She said earnestly, her head dipped into the crook of his neck and her tears soaked his day old dress shirt. He was still in his outfit from the day before, but he had shed the jacket, tie, and belt. He tangled his fingers in her hair; an odd mix of pain and empathy flowed through him.
Deep down he couldn’t be mad at her. He knew she wasn’t ready, but he willed himself to believe she was. He was hurt, embarrassed and humiliated, but he, the most private of guys made his proposal as public as possible. He hated her best friends. They made him think she was ready and he’d never forgive them for it.
Ana was always the kind of person who’d rather give than receive. The kind of person to choose a career in social work instead of physics, like her parents and her high IQ suggested she should.
Lyrics from one of her favorite songs rang in her hears. I know it’s hurting you, but it’s killing me she echoed to herself. She wrapped her arms tightly around his waist and fell into him. She briefly thought about hurting herself as some act of repentance. She’d rather jump off the Veteran’s bridge than hurt him for even a split second. He pressed a kiss to her temple as his fingers ran up and down her back.
“You’re beautiful sweetheart.” He said into her ear.
“You’re not so bad yourself.” Ana giggled taking a sip of her drink. The club was loud and dark. It was as if they entered another world. She sat alone, her friends would be meeting her soon. She wore galaxy leggings with black stilettos and a brand new, black, low cut top. Apparently the new shirt helped. A tall, blonde haired, blue eyed man approached her and bought her a drink.
“So uh, you wanna hook up tonight?” he asked, hand on her lower back.
Feeling a little warm and having not felt a man in a few months she sent him a warm smile. “Sure. My place or yours?” she yelled over the music. Then he looked over his shoulder and winked at a few friends. She heard a roar of laughter as the group of frat-boy looking men cackled at her expense.
“You really thought that…” he laughed, flexing his biceps through his shirt.
It was all a joke. She was a joke. She was a form of entertainment to them. She’d never be able to pull a guy like him. Yeah, she had a cute face, but that size 2XL top would never get a boy with abs. She stood and refused to let them get the satisfaction of seeing her cry. She turned and left, never to return to that Boston bar. Or Boston. She got hundreds of phone calls. Wondering why she never met them at the bar that night. Why her apartment was all packed up. Why she hadn’t given a proper 2 weeks notice.
She was heavier then. Before she met Sid. Before she moved out of Massachusetts. She hated home. Home always felt uneasy. She was never comfortable, until she moved to the steel city. Until she met him.
He walked them down the stairs and he sat on the couch. He pulled her onto his lap and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders.
“I’m so sorry Sidney. I’m sorry.” She began to cry. He felt miserable. No matter how hard he tried to blame her for saying no, it was still his fault. He willed himself to believe that she’d have gotten over her daddy issues and her trust issues already.
“It’s okay. Really. Wanna watch a movie or something?” he suggested, nuzzling his face into her neck. His 5 o’clock shadow tickled her skin and her lips finally crept into a genuine smile. She nodded silently as he reached forward to the coffee table, dipping her with him. He flipped through the premium movie channels and settled on HBO. They were playing her favorite movie, Star Trek. She scooted down and rested her head on his huge thighs.
They watched in a peaceful silence and he rubbed her arm gently as she traced small shapes into his the inside of his knee.
“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, gripping her shoulder tight.
“Why?” she asked in surprise. She turned to face him and watched his curls flop in front of his face.
“I think I knew deep down that it wasn’t time, but I had everyone come up here just hoping you’d say yes. I put you on the spot and ambushed you. I wasn’t being….a good teammate to you.”
She closed her eyes as he spoke. “It’s okay.” She said numbly, picking at the lose thread at seam of his pants.
He slipped out from underneath her and moved behind her, spooning gently on the couch.
“I think we both just need time to heal.” He whispered into the back of her neck. His lips were hot on her and she shivered. His arms seemed to re-explore her body as if he’d forgotten what it felt like. Her muscles relaxed as she let his body envelop her.
“Too bad the season is about to start.” She sighed, losing hope.
“It will be okay. We will be okay.” He proclaimed with confidence in his voice. This relationship he would not ruin.
9/10/13