Monday, November 23, 2013

Dear Patrick,

Yesterday you guys beat the Red Wings- again. I was watching. I've been watching. You didn't do much Patrick. You got to start getting your head in the game. You've always been all in it and now you're lacking. Don't do that. Don't do bad because of me, Pat. How awkward would it be, though, if you weren't doing bad because of me but just because? It'd be so awkward. And I'd just be even more humiliated than I was when you came over to cut every tie we ever had. You know I'd be even more embarrassed than I was when you came that once to take me with you to Chicago, before you met Laura and everything, and you said all those things. Do you remember them like I do? Because damn, they still ring in the back of my mind every single day. It took me a while to stop being so to myself after that. I really believed all that stuff you told me, I still do believe it. I just had to push it off to the side because that kind of insecurity would kill me. I'm not saying I was suicidal, so don't get too worried or guilty if for some reason you ever read this letter. I'm not saying I wasn't. Should we revisit some of the things you told me or do you remember? Just in case you don't, since you haven't been yourself lately anyway, let's go back. Let's go back to the one time I'd ever felt so worthless. I didn't even make you feel like that back when you used to be the most terrible athlete anyone had ever seen- and you know how terrible you were.

I'm acting so sensitive, gosh. I don't know why everything you've said to me since you left your house has really gotten to me. It never used to feel like this or be like this. I used to take things as jokes. It's no wonder you walked out. I feel like my sensitivity is justified though. I'm still a girl under this die-hard-hockey, play-basketball-till-I-fall, never-worn-a-dress image I put on. Correction, though, I remember once I wore a dress. I wore it because we made a bet and I lost and I still think you cheated because there is no way in hell your terrible shot beat me in one-on-one basketball. I remember that day so clearly because it was both the best and worst day of my life- well was the worst until recently of course. I remember how you left Paige and I left Adam and all that other stuff I'd best leave out because if you can't remember that night, then I don't think I should ever remind you. Anyway, I wish I could come see you but you're too busy with hockey and Laura and Chicago and your fans so..

Love,
Lana

P.S. I wish I hadn't lost my virginity to you.


Thursday, January 2, 2014

Dear Lana,

I'm so sorry.

There is absolutely nothing I can say and absolutely no reason for you to forgive me. Your letter kills me. And I remember absolutely every single detail about that night- every single one. I didn't cheat during that game- I beat you. I don't know how but that's when I completely fell for you. Luck like that doesn't just happen. There's absolutely no logical explanation to how I beat you, Lana so you have to believe me when I say that I was so excited to leave my own prom. That was the best night of my whole damn life and I've won two Stanley Cups.

Come.

I know you're here.

Patrick

Notes

Hi guys, make sure you pay attention to the dates! Lana's letters in italics are all letters that were in the box that Patrick found. They're all old, unsent. It's not like she and Patrick are sending those back and forth. He's just replying to all the old letters she didn't send.

I just want to make sure nobody's getting confused!