Dear Patrick
Letter Thirty-Eight
February 13, 2014
Dear Derek,
I'm happy for you. I'm so happy you're getting better. I know you're stronger. Congratulations on winning the SuperBowl. I'm so proud of you Derek, I am. You surprising all the fans with your cast removed and running through healthy in the beginning made their lives. I hope you know how much you mean to them. I'm amazing? No, you are.
I miss you Derek. I wish things didn't go the way they did. I wish you were still here, I do. You know I think of you every time I laugh. It's just connected- you and me being happy. For some reason, I was having a hard time remembering the happy times with Pat when I met you. You let me forget everything.
The only reason I didn't say yeah to you and I getting together was because I wanted to make absolutely sure that I wasn't using you as a rebound- you're too good for that.
I won't ever thank you enough for saving Pat. I know it kills you- thinking about how if we had kissed for just a second longer inside my apartment, we'd still be in my apartment. Our timing was perfect and unperfect. And I know you fight yourself. I know you would never not have saved Pat, even if you knew one month later, we'd be this far apart. But I know you always think that if you hadn't gotten him out, me and you'd still be together.
I'm not going to lie to you, Derek. You deserve more than that. We would. We would still be together. Because you're everything. You're my opposite and you're the same. You right all my wrongs and wrong all my rights. We just didn't have history. I think that's why I got caught up in the whole Patrick-Derek thing.
I miss you. I do, Derek. I'm sorry if it kills you to read this. But I won't lie to you. I'm not hiding from this either. Patrick knows that I think of you every time I'm laughing. He knows that I miss you and it hurts him, too. But that's the price we pay, right? Every time I hurt missing you, I can't help but think I deserve so much than just that tiny little punishment. You did so much for me and I sold you short. For that, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that we aren't still together. I have weird dreams about you an me. I have this hunch, sort of, that I'll be seeing you soon. Come over, Derek. Your season's over- come visit please? You, me, and Pat, we'll have a good dinner. Order pizza, the one you like.
Love,
Lana
Dear Derek,
I'm happy for you. I'm so happy you're getting better. I know you're stronger. Congratulations on winning the SuperBowl. I'm so proud of you Derek, I am. You surprising all the fans with your cast removed and running through healthy in the beginning made their lives. I hope you know how much you mean to them. I'm amazing? No, you are.
I miss you Derek. I wish things didn't go the way they did. I wish you were still here, I do. You know I think of you every time I laugh. It's just connected- you and me being happy. For some reason, I was having a hard time remembering the happy times with Pat when I met you. You let me forget everything.
The only reason I didn't say yeah to you and I getting together was because I wanted to make absolutely sure that I wasn't using you as a rebound- you're too good for that.
I won't ever thank you enough for saving Pat. I know it kills you- thinking about how if we had kissed for just a second longer inside my apartment, we'd still be in my apartment. Our timing was perfect and unperfect. And I know you fight yourself. I know you would never not have saved Pat, even if you knew one month later, we'd be this far apart. But I know you always think that if you hadn't gotten him out, me and you'd still be together.
I'm not going to lie to you, Derek. You deserve more than that. We would. We would still be together. Because you're everything. You're my opposite and you're the same. You right all my wrongs and wrong all my rights. We just didn't have history. I think that's why I got caught up in the whole Patrick-Derek thing.
I miss you. I do, Derek. I'm sorry if it kills you to read this. But I won't lie to you. I'm not hiding from this either. Patrick knows that I think of you every time I'm laughing. He knows that I miss you and it hurts him, too. But that's the price we pay, right? Every time I hurt missing you, I can't help but think I deserve so much than just that tiny little punishment. You did so much for me and I sold you short. For that, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that we aren't still together. I have weird dreams about you an me. I have this hunch, sort of, that I'll be seeing you soon. Come over, Derek. Your season's over- come visit please? You, me, and Pat, we'll have a good dinner. Order pizza, the one you like.
Love,
Lana
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