My mind absolutely needed a break. Kris had come clean about his game and laid out the facts for me. From the start, I’d thought that I was pathetic and that he was clueless. But I was beginning to see my own naivety to the twists and turns of the game. I was running on very little sleep and highly emotional. I couldn’t stop thinking. There were still details I needed sorted out before I could rest. I wanted to have all the answers.

When Kris told me that anything that happened with us would be different, I didn’t have to ask if it was just part of his apology because he felt bad. He had that same look in his eyes as the morning we got breakfast and he asked if I was in love with Luke. He meant it. Soon after, I told him that he needed to go home, across the hall, because I needed a timeout. I should have showered and gone to sleep when he went. I already had a victory. Kris liked me and he didn’t think that I should be one of many. I was pretty sure I’d won the game.

But instead, no more than 10 minutes after Kris had left, I left too. I grabbed the keys to Gavin’s car and took the elevator down to our assigned parking level. The roads were pretty clear. I knew my motor reflexes would be slightly off from my lack of sleep so I drove like a grandma. Most of the cars switched lanes and passed me by.

I was headed downtown. I only had to call Luke once. He picked up just before my call was sent to his voicemail inbox.

“Seriously? Now you decide to call me back?” His voice was hoarse and muffled, which meant that he’d been asleep. But the lack of a ‘hello’ meant he had been expecting me to relent and call him back eventually.

“I hate you,” I responded.

“Ugh,” he groaned. “Did you talk to Kris? How are you guys doing over there?”

“I am not ‘there’, as in Etobicoke. I’m on my way to your place right now,” I told him. “You have a lot of explaining to do.”

“What? You’re on your way here?” Luke huffed. “Kaylie, do you even know—”

“I know,” I cut him off. It was past one in the morning. The subway ran until 1:30, and went directly from my place to his—Islington to Union, only one line transfer on the subway—but it wasn’t exactly safe past midnight. Without giving him a chance to finish, I knew that was what he meant. “I took Gavin’s car. I’ll be there in five.”

The valet attendant tried his best not to look at me quizzically when I pulled up, but I knew he had a story about me made up in his head anyway. For one, I was in a Civic, and the usual suspects that made use of the valet service probably rolled up in something at least twice as expensive. Second, it was actually the valet for Hôtel Le Germain. Maple Leaf Square was made up of the residential towers, the hotel, a supermarket, a few restaurants, and the biggest sports bar in town. Le Germain was a 4-star hotel that might just cost more per night than I made in a week on my corps de ballet salary. I was probably underdressed and, in my tired state, disheveled, compared to the guests who checked in.

After taking the valet ticket given to me, too preoccupied to think about how much it would end up costing me, I dashed around the corner. Le Germain was at the corner of York and Bremner, with the residence towers just behind it. The condo Luke lived in had an unbeatable view of the CN Tower and the downtown skyline. Unlike the view from my bedroom in Etobicoke, the downtown sights of the financial district were literally adjacent to his place instead of far off in the distance.

Luke opened the door and pulled me inside before I had the chance to knock. He had bedhead as we sat down on the couch. He yawned, more for effect than necessity. “We really couldn’t have had this conversation later in the morning? After the sun rises?”

I noticed that there was a new item on top of the coffee table. A photo of Luke with all three of his siblings. I recognized the frame that it was encased in – it was the one I’d given to him for his birthday just a night and a half before. I picked it up for a second and admired the genuine smiles on the Schenns before my own expression darkened when I looked up. “You owe me a really good explanation.”

“I was there, at your place, and at Kris’, after practice, when I brought your bag. I stayed as long as I could because I wanted to talk to you.” Luke sighed. “I was hoping you’d come out of your room when you were ready—I didn’t want to force you—but you never did.”

“What were you doing there?” I asked with a scoff, “Plotting more stuff against me?”

“No, I’m done doing Kris any more favours.” Luke stretched his legs out in front of him, underneath the coffee table, as far as they could go. “And, Kaylie, I never plotted against you.”

Setting the frame back on top of the table, I crossed my arms over my chest. “Elaborate.”

“Where do I even start?” he shrugged. “Steeger kinda sensed that you liked him…and Steeger kinda likes you too. No, not ‘kinda’. He likes you a lot.”

If I needed any further proof, there it was. Kris hadn’t been messing around.

“So you helped him?” I asked, encouraging Luke to continue.

“He took this whole thing so seriously, Kaylie. He thought that after a week everything would just fall into place,” Luke explained. “Kris asked me if I would get your number, hang out with you, and get you on that double date with him.”

“Why?”

“He wanted you to have a terrible time so he could rescue you,” Luke answered. “He wanted to prove that he’s an all-around good guy. He wanted to prove that he’s worthy of you.”

Sure, Kris had his faults. He probably enjoyed himself too much for his own good and it was rare that he took anything besides hockey seriously. As I’d said before, his moments of sensitivity were few and far between. But that wasn’t to his detriment. It was part of the reason I liked him so much. I wanted to be with someone who saw the lightness in everything.

“Worthy of me?” I stressed the words. “As if he doesn’t show his personality to everyone he meets. Everyone is constantly patting him on the back for how down to earth and likeable and comedic he is.”

“Okay, well you should tell him that,” Luke suggested. “He doesn’t seem very confident that that’s how you see him.”

“How could he think I’d need rescuing from you?” I wondered. “You’re way nicer than he is.”

As I conversed with Luke, the reasons why I liked Kris were resurfacing in the corner of my mind. Luke might be sarcastic like me but he’d also turned out to be such a nice guy—too nice for me. I wasn’t just some nice girl from Lethbridge. I had a certain attitude. I had snooty remarks and I made fun of little things. As a cynic, I could make fun of myself. The object of my affection had always been the same way growing up. Kris wasn’t nice either. He was boastful, sure, but a lot of his humour was also self-deprecating.

“Well, I didn’t have to be,” Luke smirked. “You were supposed to think I was some hotshot kid that was an ass. From that night at the club onward, he was pissed that the plan had wandered off-course.”

“Your plan did work. We went on that double date,” I spoke, “and I absolutely hated that girl.”

“Yeah, my plan worked,” he boasted. “Not his. You certainly weren’t supposed to make out with me in the restaurant parking lot. If you weren’t going to have a terrible time because of me, then he wanted you to be jealous.”

Jealously had struck me that night and I’d put a lot of effort into trying to hide it. I distinctly remembered how envious I’d been when Kris and Rissa looked so comfortable together.

I shook my head, confused. “But he said…and you said…you were in on it together from the start.”

“We were. But everything changed once I met you. I could tell that you had it as bad for him as he did for you. I said to your face that you were hot, remember? And you seemed like such a cool girl.” Luke grinned, flashing his dimples. “So I didn’t think that he should get to have all the fun, torturing you. I came up with my own plan. That was what I brought to you. You have no idea how hard it was keeping this whole thing a secret. I wanted to tell you so many times.”

Both of us were silent for a prolonged moment as I absorbed his words. Sneaky, sneaky Luke. I had to smile back at him. He’d played with Kris. He’d played with me, but not against me. The reality was ridiculous: Luke had double crossed us, and he’d done it for us. We were the idiots who just couldn’t get it right.

“You really were helping me then,” I thought out loud.

“What? Kaylie, come on,” Luke said, vexed. “Even you knew that part.”

“I know,” I nodded, thinking back to how much he’d done for me. “It’s just…Kris got in my ear earlier. Since he didn’t know about us working together, he thought you’d only gone along with his plan because you liked me so much. And I get where he’s coming from…you’ve done so much for me. I mean, it has gotten confusing in the last few weeks. You know, I’m not afraid to admit that I think you’re totally cute and I’m really fond of you.”

He went ahead and scooted closer to me on the couch, then threw an arm over my shoulder. “Don’t get me wrong, I really did enjoy making out with you all those times. And you’re…everything I’ve seen of you is beautiful.”

Luke was talking about when I flashed him while I was drunk, I just knew it.

“I do like you…for Kris though,” he clarified.

My breathing stopped with the first part of his sentence, then started again when he finished it off. I wasn’t quite sure if I was relieved or disappointed. Maybe a tiny bit of both? At least I wasn’t hurt. It had been nice having Luke compliment me, kiss me, and care about me. It was only that though; it was nice. He was easy to have a crush on. I did like the thought of him. But I didn’t yearn for him.

Giggling, I launched my arms around him so that I had him enveloped in a hug. It was something he’d done for me many times, when I’d let myself get down. But with everything said and done, with my mind racing, and my lack of sleep, I didn’t need it anymore. Luke’s work was done. He couldn’t hold my hand or help me get ahead anymore. It wasn’t about getting ahead in the game anymore. If I wanted my shot with Kris, then I had to do it on my own, without playing.

“Hey,” I looked at him when the hug ended, remembering the confrontation at his birthday party. “Have you been talking to your ex-girlfriend?”

He blinked at me. “How did you…”

“Kris told me,” I informed him. “He caught me off guard because you hadn’t told me about it. That was his point of reverse psychology. It all unraveled from there and he got me to admit that I liked him.”

“All the gaming we did and that’s where he got you? Oh, Kaylie. You two are so perfect for each other,” Luke shook his head with a laugh. “So perfect it’s disgusting.”

“He also said that you’re still in love with her,” I ignored Luke’s last sentence and focused on him. “Is that true?”

Luke grumbled, “And here I thought dressing room talk was supposed to stay in the dressing room.”

“So it is true?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it is true,” he sighed.

I didn’t even know the girl’s name and I didn’t know their story but, God, I knew she was lucky. And I hoped they could have a second chance. Luke liked me—for his teammate—and he’d treated me so well. I could only imagine how he treated someone he was in love with. He probably worshipped the ground she walked on.

“Then I hope you’ll fight for her like you fought for me,” I smiled at him. “No one deserves to be happy more than you do.”

---

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

Those were the words I had to remind myself as I thought about the night time, when I would face Kris alone again. There would be no more charades. There would be no more second guessing. Honesty was all that remained.

Ideally, I would have stayed at Luke’s after our conversation and gotten some shut eye. I probably would have slept until noon. There was one last day of rest left before The Nutcracker rehearsals began after lunch on Monday. I didn’t have anywhere else to be imminently. But since I’d taken Gavin’s car, I had to go home. He was always an earlier riser, even on the weekends—he said that it threw off his ability to wake up on time on Monday morning if he indulged in too much rest on his days off. I didn’t know what my brother had planned for his Sunday, but I definitely didn’t need to hit the Tim Hortons 24-hour drive-thru after leaving Luke’s. I was running on the fumes of the complete scope of information that I had and anyway, I needed to sleep it off.

When I got home, I showered. The scorching water was relief to my tired muscles. I hadn’t been physically active in the last two days but I’d pulled more than an all-nighter and felt sore all over. But instead of brushing my teeth and heading to bed once I smelled like soap and shampoo, I made my way to the kitchen. I’d forgotten about the food in front of me when Kris had started talking and I hadn’t even been thinking about it at Luke’s.

I ate slowly. I had to, because I had to remind myself to breathe, as I thought about Kris. Gavin strolled into the kitchen just as I was dusting off the crumbs of the last of the pita chips from my fingers. His light brown eyes were slits, straining against the light. “Good morning,” he greeted as he opened the cupboard that held the coffee filters.

While I had stayed away from the coffee shop to ensure that I would be able to fall asleep, my brother was about to make our kitchen smell like one so he could stay awake and alert. So he did have his own early Sunday morning plans, as I’d guessed, whatever they were. Gavin poured a mug-full of water into the back of the coffee machine as the first step to make his morning brew.

“Good night,” was my simple answer. I threw out my trash and set my cup in the sink.

“You didn’t sleep?”

“I couldn’t.” I shook my head and pointed to his keys on top of the table. “I borrowed your car, actually.”

Gavin pulled apart two paper filters that were stuck together. “Where did you go?”

“I had to get answers,” I said cryptically.

With a filter set in place, my brother scooped two tablespoons of java coffee grinds into the coffee maker before glancing over at me again. “Did you find what you were looking for?”

I nodded.

“So you still haven’t talked to Kris?” he asked.

“I talked to him a little bit a few hours ago,” I responded, on the contrary. “But it’s…it’s to be continued.”

“You had half of a conversation with him?” Gavin frowned.

“Why are you pushing this?” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Weren’t you the one who said there would be hell to pay if your best friend dated your little sister?”

“I…” Gavin searched for the right words. “I’m still not crazy about the idea. I don’t want you to get hurt, Kaylie. Especially not by him. You and him…this has the potential to change all of our lives, you know?”

My brother didn’t have to remind me. We were at a standstill for the moment, at five o’clock in the morning, but once I finally had the conversation with Kris, for real, that was it. We liked each other. Hours earlier he’d said that anything between us would have to be serious. Even so, I didn’t know where Kris’ head was. So he liked me, and if we started something he wanted it to be real. But he never said that was what he actually wanted. We had yet to finish our conversation and he had yet to tell me.

Either we could give an ‘us’ a chance or we could forget about it. There were no alternative options. There couldn’t be a middle ground. With our feelings out in the open, Kris would never just be my older brother’s best friend ever again. No, the situation wasn’t just potentially life changing, as Gavin said. It would be life changing.

“Okay, so, why the sudden change of heart?” I asked Gavin.

Why are you contradicting yourself?

Clearly, it was a tough spot for him to be in. I had no doubt that if it came down to it, my brother would choose me, like he’d insisted the day before. But that wasn’t something he’d ever want to do. A best friend—a real best friend—wasn’t easy to come by.

“I did also say that I’d trust him with both our lives,” my brother recalled. “I know that I can trust him with this now.”

“Now?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Just talk to him,” Gavin said as he pressed the ‘on’ button of the coffee maker and the machine began its process. “Today, Kaylie.”

“I will,” I assured.

I had every intention of doing just that, but not until I’d slept off the last two days and could think clearly. I didn’t trust myself to be engaged in confrontation and make life changing decisions in my current state. The words weren’t rolling off my tongue quickly in my usual sarcastic fashion. My right eye was even beginning to twitch. Before Kris’ role in my life was altered, for better or worse, I needed to rest.

“But first,” I told Gavin as I began walking towards the short hallway to my room, “sleep.”

Notes

I really meant to have this up earlier in the evening but then-- okay, fun story time! For the last few weeks I've been worried that the person from my next story would be traded or waived, and that he wouldn't even be on the team he was on by the time I start posting the story. Well, surprise, surprise, I woke up this morning to the news that he got put on waivers. So I was distracted by that, and whether or not it should change the story, instead of finishing editing this. I guess that's the risk of setting stories further back than 6 months ago. That'll teach me not to pick players that aren't on long-term contracts!

Anyway, I hope all of the Team Luke advocates enjoyed Luke in this chapter. It's his final appearance. He will be further mentioned, but what you just read is the last time he is physically present with dialogue. I promised myself I wouldn't apologize for choosing not to put Kaylie and Luke together, so I won't. If you're disappointed, I am sorry for that, and I understand if you don't want to read the rest of the story. Maybe you can go back to the drunk Kaylie chapter and pretend the ending there is the end of the story?

Thank you for reading! Your subscriptions, comments, and ratings are much appreciated.