"See I can't wake up I'm living a nightmare That keeps playing over again Locked in a room so hung up on you And you're cool with just being friends."

****

*April's POV*

I sat by the window on the Plane with my headphones on taking in the view as we flew over Toronto heading off to Ottawa to play the Sens on Saturday.

I turned to my left when I felt someones hand brush against mine.

I took off the headphones before greeting Phil.

"Hey." He smiled.

"Hi?" I said confused because Phil didn't like to talk anyone on the plane.

"What'd you do?" I asked guessing that something had happened with my brother which was he was here.

"Nothing." He shrugged "Just wanted to talk."

"Are you high?" I asked.

"What? No." He replied "Why would you think that?" He said trying to act innocent but I wasn't buying it. This just wasn't like Phil at all.

"What do you want Phil?" I sighed resting my head against his shoulder.

"Okay I guess I'll just get to the point then." He mumbled before saying. "It's about you and James." He whispered so none of the other guys would hear.

"What do you mean?" I asked cautiously.

"Look I see the two of you together, the looks, the lingering touches, the guitar lessons for god sakes! I've never heard him even mention wanting to learn how to play."

"Maybe he just didn't want to share that with you guys." I shrugged.

"See that's exactly what I'm talking about. You guys are getting close, too close."

"I don't see it." I replied stubbornly.

"Look all I'm saying is whatever's going on between you two-"

"There is nothing going on okay can you just drop it!" I said a bit too loudly causing heads turn.

"April." Phil said after I had turned away facing the window "Please, just look at me." He begged as I forced myself to look back at him.

"I can't stop you from doing anything and I can't make you do anything either. Just be careful." He said taking my hand in his "Please."

"I will." I said softly before he leaned over to hug me tightly.

"Get off me ya big softie!" I joked shoving him off me as he laughed letting me rest my head on his shoulder.

I could always count on Phil. To look out for me, to comfort me and just to be there. He was kinda like a second older brother and I was happy to have him in my life.

***

I was roused from my deep sleep by someone shaking me gently.

I rubbed my eyes yawning before stretching then getting my suitcase, Laptop and handbag and off the plane.

Because of the mix-up in Montreal James had permanently become my roomate while we were on the road.

I mean I wasn't complaining. I don't think I could handle rooming with any of the other guys. I love them all but they're idiots sometimes.

Something about just being in the same hotel room with him felt odd.

I'm not blind I see that there's something there, between us but what that something is I'm not sure.

My train off thought was interupted when I heard someone calling my name.

I saw James waving at me from the Hotel entrance. I had been so caught up in my thoughts I didn't remember getting into the taxi that got us here.

"I thought I lost you for a sec there." He smiled as I caught up to him at the top of the stairs.

"Sorry." I said sheepishly stepping into the hotel as he held the door open for me.

"I got lost in my thoughts."

"Ahh, thinking." James said as I gave him a quizical look my eyebrow raised.

"Don't you ever just not think?" He asked as we both showed the recptionist our cards making our way towards the elevators.

"Do you?" I countered.

"Hey I asked first!" He said as I laughed.

"No I don't." I said pressing the 26 button in the elevator as the door closed. "I never have, I mean there's too much to do and too much to take in. I just feel like were always thinking even when we don't mean to be."

"Good point." He said nodding his head as we had reached our floor stepping out before continuing. "But I just think there isn't enough time, ya know like every second you spend thinking or over thinking about something you miss out on that opportunity, I feel like we need to live in the moment. Just do instead of think." He finished putting the key in the lock turning the doorknob as we stepped into the room.

"Well I guess we can agree to disagree." I smiled putting my stuff into my room changing into something more comfortable coming out in a pair of sweats and TML t-shirt.

"I guess we can." James said coming out of his room in just his sweatpants.

Fuck. I thought as I took in his chiseled body forcing myself to look away before I made things awkward.

"You know your different." James said suddenly sitting on the couch beside me.

"What do you mean?" I asked turning to look at him.

"I don't know." He said shaking his head "It just seems like you embrace the world around you rather than just being part of it."

"Isn't that what we should be doing." I asked crossing my legs and getting more comfortable before continuing. "I mean if we don't what's the point?" I said shrugging.

I looked over at James to see him staring at me and before I knew what was happening his lips were on mine.

My arms stayed limp at my sides not knowing what to do as James continued to kiss me one hand on my cheek, before I pushed him away finally realizing what was happening and how wrong this was.

Silence filled the room and the only thing that could be heard was our shallow breathing as we both digested what had just happened.

***
*JVR's POV*

"I'm so sorry April I don't know what came over me." I apologized finally breaking the silence.

"Just forget it." She said as she got off the couch making her way over to her bedroom. "Let's just pretend this never happened." She said as I nodded silently before she gently shut the door behind her.

"Why me?" I groaned falling back on the couch in disbelief at what I had just done.

What are you complaining about lover boy? You got what you wanted didn't you? I pushed the thought out of my head as I rolled over onto my stomach staring at her closed bedroom door.

No I thought to myself, I didn't get what I want. I want her I want to be with her.

I want to be the one she comes home to, I want to be the one she kisses, the one she loves. I want to be the one for her.

But You'll never be that

I had royaly fucked up. And I needed to make things right.

Notes

Ohhh he finally kissed her ;)
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