Leave it in the Past
Cold Air
Peyton’s POV
I walked up to Patrick’s apartment. Part of me hoped that he was already asleep so I didn’t have to face him. If I did see him tonight, I know that I would snap. Then again, I kinda thought he deserved that. I grabbed his spare key from my purse and stood outside his front door for a least a minute, contemplating. Part of me wanted to turn around and leave, but I knew I just had to get it over with. I took a deep breath and pushed the key in the lock, turned the handle, and quietly opened the door. I walked in. All the lights were off; I thought I was in the clear. Then I saw the figure on the back balcony. His back was to me, sitting on the bench on the balcony. I sighed. I walked toward the sliding glass door and opened it. I walked straight into the chilly Chicago air. The radio was on and I could hear Counting Stars playing. Patrick turned around and got wide eyed when he saw me. His eyes were a sullen grey, not like his usual beautiful blue. I could tell that he wasn’t expecting me.
“Peyt.” He said softly.
“Patrick.” I said, completely forgetting all my rage from earlier.
“Wanna sit down?” He motioned to the space next to him on the small bench. I sat down and shivered. The wind in the Windy City had picked up since I got out of Leddy’s car.
“Peyt, are you cold?” He asked.
“A little.” I admitted. I was shivering badly, and he could probably feel it.
“Take my jacket.” He stood up and took off his black sport coat. I stood up too and let him put it on me. The sleeves fell to almost my knees. I could feel his warmth from his body heat inside his jacket. I sat back down right next to him. He put his arm around me to try and keep me warm.
“Patrick?” I asked nervously.
“Mhmm?” He asked. He was staring at the city.
“Why were you glaring at Leddy and I at the bar?”
“Because I don’t want you to date one of my teammates.” He answered.
“Why not?”
“They can be pigs.”
“Is that really the reason why?” I looked right into his eyes. I was only going to give him one chance. He held my eye contact. Then he shook his head.
“No. No it’s not. I think we both know why I didn’t want you to go home with Leddy.” He pursed his lips.
“I don’t.” I lied. I was pretty sure I knew what he was talking about, but I wanted to see if what Leddy said was true.
“Well, it’s because…” He fumbled with his words
“Yeah?” I asked patiently. I held my breath.
“Peyt, I love you.” He blurted out. He looked me straight in the eye. I froze up. I was used to people telling me that he did, but him saying it was a whole other feeling. I had no idea how to respond.
“Like really love?” I asked. That was a stupid question.
“Like really love.” He repeated. He looked at me and smiled. Then he did the unexpected, or at least I wasn’t expecting it. He started leaning in to kiss me. And to my surprise, I started to lean in too. We kept leaning until our lips met. His soft lips fit perfectly with my cold ones. I relaxed. It was the kind of kiss that made everything perfect for a minute. Then snapping back into reality, I broke away.
“What? How? Why?” I was really confused.
“Peyt, I love you. I have never met any girl half as extraordinary as you. I can’t imagine my life without you. You are beautiful inside and out. I loved you since high school.” He admitted. I could feel myself blushing. I still wasn’t sure what to say. Do I love him? I think so, but I’m not really sure. I didn’t want to say anything that I could regret.
“Patrick.” I breathed. I was really at a loss of words.
“I take it you don’t feel the same about me, do you?” He asked, reading my facial expressions. I could see a hint of disappointment in his face.
“I think I love you too, but to be honest I’ve never really thought about it.” I answered. He nodded and drummed his fingers on the arm of the bench. He sat quiet for a minute, pondering on how to respond.
“Really Peyt? We’ve been best friends since middle school, and you’ve never thought about it? That we could be more than friends?” He asked quietly.
“I don’t know. I knew I wasn’t your type, so I just assumed that we would never be more.” I whispered. He turned and looked into the distance. I knew that he was trying to act tough. He always did.
“Wow. I have dreamed of having you for years. I never thought of being with anyone but you. All those other girls? I tried to find somebody to take your spot, but obviously none of them came even slightly close. I thought, I hoped that maybe you might have felt something for me too, but maybe not.” He said coldly.
“Patrick. I didn’t say that I didn’t love you. I just need time to think. I want to be honest.” I pleaded.
“Okay. Well, I’m going to bed. Good night.” He replied stiffly. He leaned over and kissed my cheek before standing up to go inside. I sighed and stood up. I leaned against the rail of the balcony, overlooking the illuminated Chicago skyline. I tried to think, but nothing came to me. It was just a lot to take in. He loved me? And since high school? I took one last look at the beautiful city before heading in. I walked down the hall. I could still see his light on. I walked into my room and collapsed on to my bed. I fell asleep right away, trying to process everything that had just happened.
I walked up to Patrick’s apartment. Part of me hoped that he was already asleep so I didn’t have to face him. If I did see him tonight, I know that I would snap. Then again, I kinda thought he deserved that. I grabbed his spare key from my purse and stood outside his front door for a least a minute, contemplating. Part of me wanted to turn around and leave, but I knew I just had to get it over with. I took a deep breath and pushed the key in the lock, turned the handle, and quietly opened the door. I walked in. All the lights were off; I thought I was in the clear. Then I saw the figure on the back balcony. His back was to me, sitting on the bench on the balcony. I sighed. I walked toward the sliding glass door and opened it. I walked straight into the chilly Chicago air. The radio was on and I could hear Counting Stars playing. Patrick turned around and got wide eyed when he saw me. His eyes were a sullen grey, not like his usual beautiful blue. I could tell that he wasn’t expecting me.
“Peyt.” He said softly.
“Patrick.” I said, completely forgetting all my rage from earlier.
“Wanna sit down?” He motioned to the space next to him on the small bench. I sat down and shivered. The wind in the Windy City had picked up since I got out of Leddy’s car.
“Peyt, are you cold?” He asked.
“A little.” I admitted. I was shivering badly, and he could probably feel it.
“Take my jacket.” He stood up and took off his black sport coat. I stood up too and let him put it on me. The sleeves fell to almost my knees. I could feel his warmth from his body heat inside his jacket. I sat back down right next to him. He put his arm around me to try and keep me warm.
“Patrick?” I asked nervously.
“Mhmm?” He asked. He was staring at the city.
“Why were you glaring at Leddy and I at the bar?”
“Because I don’t want you to date one of my teammates.” He answered.
“Why not?”
“They can be pigs.”
“Is that really the reason why?” I looked right into his eyes. I was only going to give him one chance. He held my eye contact. Then he shook his head.
“No. No it’s not. I think we both know why I didn’t want you to go home with Leddy.” He pursed his lips.
“I don’t.” I lied. I was pretty sure I knew what he was talking about, but I wanted to see if what Leddy said was true.
“Well, it’s because…” He fumbled with his words
“Yeah?” I asked patiently. I held my breath.
“Peyt, I love you.” He blurted out. He looked me straight in the eye. I froze up. I was used to people telling me that he did, but him saying it was a whole other feeling. I had no idea how to respond.
“Like really love?” I asked. That was a stupid question.
“Like really love.” He repeated. He looked at me and smiled. Then he did the unexpected, or at least I wasn’t expecting it. He started leaning in to kiss me. And to my surprise, I started to lean in too. We kept leaning until our lips met. His soft lips fit perfectly with my cold ones. I relaxed. It was the kind of kiss that made everything perfect for a minute. Then snapping back into reality, I broke away.
“What? How? Why?” I was really confused.
“Peyt, I love you. I have never met any girl half as extraordinary as you. I can’t imagine my life without you. You are beautiful inside and out. I loved you since high school.” He admitted. I could feel myself blushing. I still wasn’t sure what to say. Do I love him? I think so, but I’m not really sure. I didn’t want to say anything that I could regret.
“Patrick.” I breathed. I was really at a loss of words.
“I take it you don’t feel the same about me, do you?” He asked, reading my facial expressions. I could see a hint of disappointment in his face.
“I think I love you too, but to be honest I’ve never really thought about it.” I answered. He nodded and drummed his fingers on the arm of the bench. He sat quiet for a minute, pondering on how to respond.
“Really Peyt? We’ve been best friends since middle school, and you’ve never thought about it? That we could be more than friends?” He asked quietly.
“I don’t know. I knew I wasn’t your type, so I just assumed that we would never be more.” I whispered. He turned and looked into the distance. I knew that he was trying to act tough. He always did.
“Wow. I have dreamed of having you for years. I never thought of being with anyone but you. All those other girls? I tried to find somebody to take your spot, but obviously none of them came even slightly close. I thought, I hoped that maybe you might have felt something for me too, but maybe not.” He said coldly.
“Patrick. I didn’t say that I didn’t love you. I just need time to think. I want to be honest.” I pleaded.
“Okay. Well, I’m going to bed. Good night.” He replied stiffly. He leaned over and kissed my cheek before standing up to go inside. I sighed and stood up. I leaned against the rail of the balcony, overlooking the illuminated Chicago skyline. I tried to think, but nothing came to me. It was just a lot to take in. He loved me? And since high school? I took one last look at the beautiful city before heading in. I walked down the hall. I could still see his light on. I walked into my room and collapsed on to my bed. I fell asleep right away, trying to process everything that had just happened.
Please update soon :) I'm excited to see how the question game plays out ! :3
5/27/14