Leave it in the Past
Confusion
I woke up the next morning with a throbbing headache. I was still in my tight, long- sleeved purple dress from last night. I looked in the mirror. My makeup was smudged all around my eyes, I looked like a raccoon. I stood up and stretched before walking out of my room. I could smell eggs cooking in the kitchen. I figured it was just Erica, but it turned out to be her and Patrick. They both turned around when they heard me walk in.
“Peyton!” Erica squealed, “how was your night!?”
“Uhhh, interesting.” I stammered, looking at Patrick. He acted like he was too focused on the omelets he was cooking to care.
“Did you and Leddy, ya know?” She whispered with a wink. I shook my head.
“I got back here around 11:30.” I replied, hoping she would drop the matter. Of course she didn’t.
“Ohhh… Why?”
“Leddy pretty much told me to leave.” I said, glaring at Patrick. I suddenly remembered why I had been so pissed last night.
“What?!? WHY?”
“He didn’t want to interfere with anything.” I muttered. Patrick looked over his shoulder at me, surprised. I guess I had forgotten to tell him why I came back last night.
“Interfere with wha- OHHHHH!” She said, realizing what I was implying. Patrick stopped cooking and started dishing out breakfast. He was whistling, like nothing was going on.
“So Patty, do you have anything to tell Peyton?” She asked, motioning to me. I guess that she hadn’t gotten the memo that he had already told me.
“Nope. I told her everything last night.” He said with a shrug. Erica looked at me with wide eyes, I did my best to ignore her. It didn’t work so well.
“WHAT?!? PEYTON!?” She exclaimed. She set down her silverware and stared at me.
“What?” I asked with a mouthful of food. She rolled her eyes.
“Patrick, will you excuse us?” She asked. I groaned. She was making this more awkward than it needed to be. He looked up and nodded.
“Come on Peyton!”
“But I’m not done eating my- ”
“NOW.” I got up and followed her to my room. I knew she wasn’t going to let this go.
“What the hell Peyton?”
“What?”
“Oh my god.” She said, rubbing her temples.
“What?!?” I repeated.
“You understand that he really likes you, right?”
“Yeah he said something along those lines last night.”
“Peyton.” She said grabbing my shoulders, “I’m saying this because I care. You need to give him a chance. It took a lot of courage for him to tell you what he did.”
“Are you sure you don’t just care about him? It sure seems like no one cares how I feel.”
“You don’t like him?” She asked, surprised.
“I didn’t say that.” I said through my clenched teeth.
“Well what do you think?!?” She asked impatiently.
“I DON’T FUCKING KNOW YET!” I shouted. I could hear Patrick get up from the kitchen table to see what was going on.
“Wow, okay.” She said quietly.
“Can you just leave it alone and stop trying to play matchmaker?” I pleaded. She nodded.
“Yeah, sorry Peyton.” She got up and walked out of my room. I collapsed on to my bed and sunk my head into my pillow. Then I just cried. I had no idea what I was thinking or what I wanted. I laid like that for about a minute until I felt my bed shift. I rolled over to see Patrick sitting there, his face full of concern. I groaned and rolled my face back into my tear stained pillow.
“Peyt?”
“Hmm?” I grunted into my pillow.
“Peyt, look at me.” I rolled over and sat up. He was sitting on the edge of my bed. He held my face and wiped my tears from under my raccoon eyes.
“Look, I’m really sorry Patrick. I’m just really confused right now.” I confessed.
“It’s okay. It’s a lot, I understand. Let’s just talk. No pressure, let’s just figure this out.” He said calmly. I sniffled and nodded. I patted my bed, motioning for him to sit right next to me. He scooted next to me and put his arm around me.
“Okay.” I said, mostly to myself.
“What are you confused about?” He asked.
“I just always thought we were going to be best friends for the rest of our lives. I never pictured anything more.”
“See, that’s all I pictured. Something more. I have dreamed about being lucky enough to be your boyfriend for years, and I couldn’t keep it to myself any longer. I had to tell you, so at least you knew.”
“I am glad that you told me.”
“What do you think of me?”
“I don’t know what I would do without you. You’ve been the most important person in my life for years. I would never want to do anything to ruin that.”
“Is that what you are afraid of?
“Maybe.” I thought, realizing that was it. I was so afraid of losing him again. He was kind of my rock, the one person I could always count on.
“Would you be willing to give it a shot?” He asked, hopefully.
“You know, I was never against the idea of giving this a try. I just wasn't sure if it was right.” I said, smiling at Patrick. He grinned. Then he put his hand behind my neck and kissed me. He was a lot greedier and more aggressive than last night. Then he pulled away and smiled at me. I smiled back and leaned back into his lips, greedy for more.
"I think it's right." He said inbetween kisses.
“Peyton!” Erica squealed, “how was your night!?”
“Uhhh, interesting.” I stammered, looking at Patrick. He acted like he was too focused on the omelets he was cooking to care.
“Did you and Leddy, ya know?” She whispered with a wink. I shook my head.
“I got back here around 11:30.” I replied, hoping she would drop the matter. Of course she didn’t.
“Ohhh… Why?”
“Leddy pretty much told me to leave.” I said, glaring at Patrick. I suddenly remembered why I had been so pissed last night.
“What?!? WHY?”
“He didn’t want to interfere with anything.” I muttered. Patrick looked over his shoulder at me, surprised. I guess I had forgotten to tell him why I came back last night.
“Interfere with wha- OHHHHH!” She said, realizing what I was implying. Patrick stopped cooking and started dishing out breakfast. He was whistling, like nothing was going on.
“So Patty, do you have anything to tell Peyton?” She asked, motioning to me. I guess that she hadn’t gotten the memo that he had already told me.
“Nope. I told her everything last night.” He said with a shrug. Erica looked at me with wide eyes, I did my best to ignore her. It didn’t work so well.
“WHAT?!? PEYTON!?” She exclaimed. She set down her silverware and stared at me.
“What?” I asked with a mouthful of food. She rolled her eyes.
“Patrick, will you excuse us?” She asked. I groaned. She was making this more awkward than it needed to be. He looked up and nodded.
“Come on Peyton!”
“But I’m not done eating my- ”
“NOW.” I got up and followed her to my room. I knew she wasn’t going to let this go.
“What the hell Peyton?”
“What?”
“Oh my god.” She said, rubbing her temples.
“What?!?” I repeated.
“You understand that he really likes you, right?”
“Yeah he said something along those lines last night.”
“Peyton.” She said grabbing my shoulders, “I’m saying this because I care. You need to give him a chance. It took a lot of courage for him to tell you what he did.”
“Are you sure you don’t just care about him? It sure seems like no one cares how I feel.”
“You don’t like him?” She asked, surprised.
“I didn’t say that.” I said through my clenched teeth.
“Well what do you think?!?” She asked impatiently.
“I DON’T FUCKING KNOW YET!” I shouted. I could hear Patrick get up from the kitchen table to see what was going on.
“Wow, okay.” She said quietly.
“Can you just leave it alone and stop trying to play matchmaker?” I pleaded. She nodded.
“Yeah, sorry Peyton.” She got up and walked out of my room. I collapsed on to my bed and sunk my head into my pillow. Then I just cried. I had no idea what I was thinking or what I wanted. I laid like that for about a minute until I felt my bed shift. I rolled over to see Patrick sitting there, his face full of concern. I groaned and rolled my face back into my tear stained pillow.
“Peyt?”
“Hmm?” I grunted into my pillow.
“Peyt, look at me.” I rolled over and sat up. He was sitting on the edge of my bed. He held my face and wiped my tears from under my raccoon eyes.
“Look, I’m really sorry Patrick. I’m just really confused right now.” I confessed.
“It’s okay. It’s a lot, I understand. Let’s just talk. No pressure, let’s just figure this out.” He said calmly. I sniffled and nodded. I patted my bed, motioning for him to sit right next to me. He scooted next to me and put his arm around me.
“Okay.” I said, mostly to myself.
“What are you confused about?” He asked.
“I just always thought we were going to be best friends for the rest of our lives. I never pictured anything more.”
“See, that’s all I pictured. Something more. I have dreamed about being lucky enough to be your boyfriend for years, and I couldn’t keep it to myself any longer. I had to tell you, so at least you knew.”
“I am glad that you told me.”
“What do you think of me?”
“I don’t know what I would do without you. You’ve been the most important person in my life for years. I would never want to do anything to ruin that.”
“Is that what you are afraid of?
“Maybe.” I thought, realizing that was it. I was so afraid of losing him again. He was kind of my rock, the one person I could always count on.
“Would you be willing to give it a shot?” He asked, hopefully.
“You know, I was never against the idea of giving this a try. I just wasn't sure if it was right.” I said, smiling at Patrick. He grinned. Then he put his hand behind my neck and kissed me. He was a lot greedier and more aggressive than last night. Then he pulled away and smiled at me. I smiled back and leaned back into his lips, greedy for more.
"I think it's right." He said inbetween kisses.
Please update soon :) I'm excited to see how the question game plays out ! :3
5/27/14