Look for Me in Rainbows

“Hi guys.” Maggie said with a strained voice and a weak smile. “How was school, Margaret?” Patrick set the little girl in a pink dress and pigtails down on Maggie’s lap.

Patrick stared at his skinny wife of seven years sitting in the hospital bed with a morphine drip and oxygen tubes. They told him last week that they could “make her comfortable”, but that was all they could do. She was losing the fight with her lifelong disease. He trial meds helped her for a while, but they stopped working eventually, and they were back to square one. He sighed and put his hand on the bed.

“Mommy, I learned to count to ten. One...two...three...four...” Margaret counted each number out on her tiny fingers. “five...six...seven...eight....nine...ten!”

“Thats so good.” Maggie whispered. “Anything else?”

“We painted with our fingers.”

“Yeah.” Patrick said. “Daddy had to change your dress because you were all messy.” Maggie smiled and kissed Margaret on the head. Maggie rubbed her daughter’s shoulder when there was a knock on the door. Patrick walked over and opened it up.

“Uncle Jonathan!” Margaret exclaimed.

“Hi, Margaret.” He said. “Hi, Maggie.” Maggie smiled. She couldn’t talk a whole lot right now. She was on constant oxygen that came in through tubes in her nose. She was also pretty tired all the time.

“Margaret, Uncle Jonathan is here to take you home and have a sleepover with you, okay.”

“Okay, Daddy.”

“Bye, baby girl, be good..” Maggie kissed Margaret’s head again, then allowed Patrick to take her off the bed.

“Thanks, Jonathan.” Patrick said as he and Margaret left the room. “How are you?” Patrick asked as he sat down on the side of Maggie’s bed.

“Okay.” Maggie said.

“I brought you something.” Patrick said. Maggie looked up at him as he pulled something shiny out of his back pocket.

“My medal.” Maggie smiled. “It still matches my ring.” Patrick laughed.

“Still bitter?”

“I never got my gold.” Maggie paused. Patrick nodded he could tell Maggie was straining to speak. “I love you, Patrick.” Maggie whispered.

“I love you too.” Patrick kissed her. Patrick saw Maggie’s eyelids start to droop. “I’m really gonna miss you, Mags.” His lip quivered and tears started falling down his face.

“I love you so much.” One tear rolled down Maggie’s face as her eyes fluttered shut. Her head rolled into Patrick’s chest, and at that moment he knew she was gone. Everything they had ever had was gone in one instant.

“I already miss you, Mags.”

Patrick sobbed as he held his wife’s lifeless body. He wished she was still here. He still had so many things to say to her. He wanted so desperately to grow old with his love. How was he going to live without her? How was he going to take care of their five year old daughter on his own? How was he going to tell her what happened to his mommy? He didn’t want to move from Maggie’s side. He couldn’t bring himself to move from Maggie’s side.

Notes