Second Best
Three
I sat back on my knees and looked at her. I probably looked like a pathetic little puppy.
"I'm sorry." She said staring at her hands.
"Who do you want?" I asked staring at the stark white wall behind her. I was starting to really get annoyed with her playing with my heart.
"I wan't you" she whispered so softly I could barely hear her.
Her long curly black hair flowed over her shoulder and her face was flushed. Her eyes were much darker than usual and her lips were red. It was hard not to jump all over her again. The feeling when she first kissed me was weird, but not bad. It had just been so long and I forgot what it was like. Having her in my arms felt so amazing I couldn't explain it if I tried.
"What?" she asked after catching me staring at her.
"You're beautiful" I said with my hands on her waist. Her chocolate cheeks became rosy and I smiled to myself.
"I love you" I said leaning down and kissing her forehead.
"I love you too James".
The drive was miserable. It was 10 degrees and I had to constantly get out of the car for gas. I would have flown except my completely rational fear of flying keeps me aground unless I need to leave the continent, which I have never had to do. James called me about a million times to make sure I was okay. I reassured him I was fine, but he insisted I call him every hour. He had a game that night against San Jose, so he forced me out the door a litle after 2am so I would arrive before he had to take his nap. When I passed the "Welcome to Montreal" sign I started to get scared. When I got to his place the tears were almost pouring over. It was 7 degrees outsitde and that didn't help much either.
I took the elevator up to his floor and walked by a couple arguing in the hallway of the condo. It was pretty unsettling considering what I was about to do. I knocked on his door and he answered it quickly.
"Hey babe" he said with a huge smile. He was weraring a pair of jeans that hugged his ass perfectly, a white V-neck that hugged his chest a little too tightly and a grey beanie. He leaned in to kiss me, but I turned my face so he kissed my cheek.
"Hey Brandon." I said coldly. His big, gorgeous smile faded.
"Brandon? who are you now my mother? It's usually Brando, or something weired like that. What's goin on hun? You never call me by my full n-"
"Can I come inside?" I asked looking around. There was nobody in the hall, but I just felt so awkward.
"Yeah." His eyebrows furrowed quizically as he stepped back to let me in. His place was cleaner than it usually was with no clothes thrown over the couch or beer cans on the table.
He helped me take off my jacket an hung it in the call closet. I sat on the couch where he was watching the NHL network, but it was muted. He rushed to my side and forced me to face him. We were sitting with our bodies facing each other and my hands were tightly folded over my chest.
"What's going on baby?" He asked, puppy dog eyes staring into my soul.
"I-uh. I think. I think we should break up" I stuttered.
"What? Why?" he was so confused.
"I still have feelings for James." his hand held the back of my neck gently
"Look you saw him once, brought back old memories. Does't mean we have to break up" He cooed, gently forcing my hands uncrossed.
"Except it does. I still love him." I said staring at the floor. He was silent. The whole room was silent. The air was thick and it was choking me.
"Oh." was all he said. He leaned back and thought for a moment.
"What am I supposed to do now?" he asked a little annoyed. I just shrugged without looking back at him.
"This is just fucking typical." he threw his hands up in frustration and walked to the kitchen.
"Im sorry." I called following him. The kitchen island seperating us was physically and metaphorically in between us.
"Sorry? Sorry you fucking made me fall in love with you. With your perfect...... everything. Just to take it all away from me?! You know the kind of girls I usually date? Bitches. Whores who use me to get into the "hockey world", or use me for my money, or just sluts in general. They don't give a shit about me. And when I finally think somebody does...You know what, forget it."
"Brandon, I do care about you. It's just that-" I began,
"Don't try and expain it. How can you just fucking toy with me though. You know. I was gonna ask you to move in with me. I can't even belive this right now".
"I'm sorry!" I screamed, tears flowing freely. "I never wanted to hurt you. I'm so fucking sorry Brando. I really am. I wasn't over him when we started dating, and I don't know why I thought I would just get over it."
He took a deep sigh and walked around the counter. He gave me the most passionate kiss I've ever had. Ever. His lips were soft and warm and loving. He loved me. I liked him a lot, but he really loved me. Realizing this didn't allow me to enjoy the kiss. It lasted a long time and was honest to God remarkable. He pulled away slowly. He then kissed my forhead and his stubble gently grazed my nose.
"I just want you to be happy" he said hugging me tightly.
"I'm sorry." She said staring at her hands.
"Who do you want?" I asked staring at the stark white wall behind her. I was starting to really get annoyed with her playing with my heart.
"I wan't you" she whispered so softly I could barely hear her.
Her long curly black hair flowed over her shoulder and her face was flushed. Her eyes were much darker than usual and her lips were red. It was hard not to jump all over her again. The feeling when she first kissed me was weird, but not bad. It had just been so long and I forgot what it was like. Having her in my arms felt so amazing I couldn't explain it if I tried.
"What?" she asked after catching me staring at her.
"You're beautiful" I said with my hands on her waist. Her chocolate cheeks became rosy and I smiled to myself.
"I love you" I said leaning down and kissing her forehead.
"I love you too James".
The drive was miserable. It was 10 degrees and I had to constantly get out of the car for gas. I would have flown except my completely rational fear of flying keeps me aground unless I need to leave the continent, which I have never had to do. James called me about a million times to make sure I was okay. I reassured him I was fine, but he insisted I call him every hour. He had a game that night against San Jose, so he forced me out the door a litle after 2am so I would arrive before he had to take his nap. When I passed the "Welcome to Montreal" sign I started to get scared. When I got to his place the tears were almost pouring over. It was 7 degrees outsitde and that didn't help much either.
I took the elevator up to his floor and walked by a couple arguing in the hallway of the condo. It was pretty unsettling considering what I was about to do. I knocked on his door and he answered it quickly.
"Hey babe" he said with a huge smile. He was weraring a pair of jeans that hugged his ass perfectly, a white V-neck that hugged his chest a little too tightly and a grey beanie. He leaned in to kiss me, but I turned my face so he kissed my cheek.
"Hey Brandon." I said coldly. His big, gorgeous smile faded.
"Brandon? who are you now my mother? It's usually Brando, or something weired like that. What's goin on hun? You never call me by my full n-"
"Can I come inside?" I asked looking around. There was nobody in the hall, but I just felt so awkward.
"Yeah." His eyebrows furrowed quizically as he stepped back to let me in. His place was cleaner than it usually was with no clothes thrown over the couch or beer cans on the table.
He helped me take off my jacket an hung it in the call closet. I sat on the couch where he was watching the NHL network, but it was muted. He rushed to my side and forced me to face him. We were sitting with our bodies facing each other and my hands were tightly folded over my chest.
"What's going on baby?" He asked, puppy dog eyes staring into my soul.
"I-uh. I think. I think we should break up" I stuttered.
"What? Why?" he was so confused.
"I still have feelings for James." his hand held the back of my neck gently
"Look you saw him once, brought back old memories. Does't mean we have to break up" He cooed, gently forcing my hands uncrossed.
"Except it does. I still love him." I said staring at the floor. He was silent. The whole room was silent. The air was thick and it was choking me.
"Oh." was all he said. He leaned back and thought for a moment.
"What am I supposed to do now?" he asked a little annoyed. I just shrugged without looking back at him.
"This is just fucking typical." he threw his hands up in frustration and walked to the kitchen.
"Im sorry." I called following him. The kitchen island seperating us was physically and metaphorically in between us.
"Sorry? Sorry you fucking made me fall in love with you. With your perfect...... everything. Just to take it all away from me?! You know the kind of girls I usually date? Bitches. Whores who use me to get into the "hockey world", or use me for my money, or just sluts in general. They don't give a shit about me. And when I finally think somebody does...You know what, forget it."
"Brandon, I do care about you. It's just that-" I began,
"Don't try and expain it. How can you just fucking toy with me though. You know. I was gonna ask you to move in with me. I can't even belive this right now".
"I'm sorry!" I screamed, tears flowing freely. "I never wanted to hurt you. I'm so fucking sorry Brando. I really am. I wasn't over him when we started dating, and I don't know why I thought I would just get over it."
He took a deep sigh and walked around the counter. He gave me the most passionate kiss I've ever had. Ever. His lips were soft and warm and loving. He loved me. I liked him a lot, but he really loved me. Realizing this didn't allow me to enjoy the kiss. It lasted a long time and was honest to God remarkable. He pulled away slowly. He then kissed my forhead and his stubble gently grazed my nose.
"I just want you to be happy" he said hugging me tightly.
11/25/13