Stacey had to gather her thoughts for a moment. Yes she had moved half way across the world just to be with Tyler and yes she was technically “living” with him, but she always felt it was more of a “vacation”. Actually moving in with him meant being together all the time…24/7, 365 days of the year.
Moving in with him meant leaving Sammie at the apartment all alone, even though Stacey was sure that Sammie might already be considering replacing her. Stacey bit her lip at the thought of not having her own personal space…well not all the time at least. Tyler would be traveling a lot when the NHL finally got their shit together and the lockout was resolved.
“Stacey…did you hear what I asked? Will you get a place with me when we go back to Boston?” Tyler repeated
Stacey snapped back from her thoughts “I’ll have to think about that, Ty. It’s a big decision.”
Tyler nodded “OK. Take your time.”
Stacey nodded. She loved Tyler. She really really did, but moving in with him seemed to be a huge step in their relationship that she felt they weren’t ready to take.
Stacey felt like their relationship was moving far too quickly and she didn’t know how to slow it down. She could just tell him “no” right off the bat, but she felt like that would hurt him and she most definitely did not want to do that. Stacey didn’t want things to change. She wanted them to stay where they were at that moment, but mostly, she wanted to go home and apologize to her best friend. She wanted to go home and apologize to Sammie.
Sammie had been there through everything. Through injuries, through ex-boyfriends…and even though Sammie had not supported Stacey and her moving to Switzerland, Stacey knew that Sammie meant well.
Stacey took out her phone and flipped through her contacts until she got to Sammie’s name. “I’ll be right back.” she said to Tyler before standing up and heading out the door. She pressed call and took a deep breath until the familiar voice of Sammie Kent answered the phone.
“Stacey!? Ohmygod! I tried calling the other day…your line was busy…how have you been? How is Switzerland? Ohmygod. It is so good to hear from you! Tell me everything!”
Stacey smiled “Everything is great…listen Sammie…I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Sammie asked, perplexed.
“For leaving…abandoning you…for being a bitch about it.” Stacey told her
“Stace…you have absolutely no reason to be sorry. To be honest…I probably would have done the same damn thing if I was in your shoes. No one blames you…no one hates you.” Sammie assured her.
“Good…Sam…I need advice.”
“Okay…what is it?”
“Tyler asked me if when the lockout is resolved and we come home if I’d like to get a place with him…and I don’t know what to do…I just feel like everything is moving fast and I feel like something might go horribly wrong…I just…I love him, but I don’t think I want to live with him…” Stacey blurted out
“You what…” Tyler’s voice startled Stacey and she dropped her phone.
“Tyler! I…” Stacey stammered
“You don’t want to live with me?” he asked. His expression filled with hurt.
Stacey looked down “Ty…I just…”
“You just what, Stace? You just wanted to ‘let me down easy’? Is that why you wanted to ‘think’? You already knew the fucking answer, but you just didn’t want to tell me. You just wanted me to think you were actually considering it!” his tone was filled with hurt and anger.
“Tyler…it’s not like that…” Stacey stuttered
“Oh yeah? Well that’s what it fucking sounds like. What’s the difference between moving in with me in Boston and living with me here, Stacey? It’s the same thing. So if you don’t want to live with me in Boston, then why the fuck are you living with me in Switzerland?!” his voice shook and tears started to form in his eyes.
Stacey could feel tears swelling in her own eyes “I don’t know…”
Tyler shook his head “Then what’s stopping you from leaving…”
Stacey’s hands shook “I don’t fucking know, ok?! I don’t know. I just did it because I didn’t want to be in Boston watching my team play without me! I didn’t want to be alone. I’m fucking stupid and I’m sorry. OK!? I AM SORRY!”
Tyler blinked and looked down “Ok.”
“OK?! That’s all you can say?” Stacey yelled
“That’s all I’m choosing to say…”
Stacey wiped her eyes “Fine. I’m going home.”
Tyler grabbed her arm to stop her “Stacey…wait!”
Stacey pulled her arm away from him “No! I am going home and you can’t stop me. I’m sorry.”