The Compromise

"She doesn't remember me. I mean she knows who I am but she doesn't know me as just Sid," he said to his mom when he finally called her to tell her what happened.

"What did her doctors say?" Trina asked.

"Their running more tests to see if there is anything they missed, but her doctor said that any head trauma could lead to memory loss," Sid explained. He thought of the conversation he listened in on as Jess' parents spoke with her doctor. He had the misfortune of being reminded of his own head traumas last year when the doctor turned to him.

"Well, take Sidney for example. His concussions over the last year could have caused the same memory problems. He was lucky enough to not have such a loss, but not treated could have led to it." Sid didn't know how much Jess' parents knew of his health crisis of the last year, but he found it out of line comparing his injury to his girlfriend.

"Will she stay here the entire time she is recovering?"

"There is no timetable as to when or if she ever gets her memory back," the doctor said, "But if she continues doing well I can see her being out of here in the next week or so. Memory back or not."

"You mean she may never remember the life she has here?" Jess' dad asked. Her mom reached over to give Sid's hand a reassuring squeeze.

"It's a possibility. But given that she only lost a year, and that she can recall where she lived in Texas so vividly I feel she may eventually be able to recall the year she has lost right now."

"But why did she forget?" Mrs. Wade asked.

"The brain is a mystery ma'am. But people will theorize that something may have happened in the last year that she wished she could forget."

That was about all Sidney wanted to hear and excused himself to call his family to fill them in.

"She loves you Sid, she may not remember right now. But she will and you have to show her how much you adore her. You've got to make her the most important thing right now."

"Guess the looming lockout will help with that." He continued talking for a few minutes, assured his parents he would be fine and tried his best to convince them not to fly in. He knew that wouldn't happen and figured he would see them in the next day or so.

Jess was back in her room and her parents were talking with her doctor again, so Sid took this as an opportunity to go see her. She was sitting up and the large bandage wrapped around her head was now just gauze taped to the side where she had surgery.

"Hey, can I come in?" Sid asked. Jess stared wide eyed at him, still seemingly shocked to have him in her room, and nodded without voicing her assent.

"How are you feeling?" Sid asked as he settled into the seat next to her bed. "Are you comfortable? Do you want me to get you anything?" He reached for her hand then hesitated remembering how she recoiled from his touch earlier when she realized he wasn't James.

"I'm okay right now. Hopped up on a bunch if pain Meds. Thank you, you know, for caring." She looked down at her hands in her lap and Sid longed to be able to hold her to him.

"Can I ask you something?" She finally asked after a long, drawn out silence.

"Anything," he whispered. He rested a hand on her bed inching closer to her.

"How long have we been together?"

"Just over eight months."

"And we live together?"

"Since June."

"Why did I come back to this area?"

"James was traded to the Penguins over a year ago."

"And I broke up with him?"

Sid nodded. He didn't know how much he should say with regards to her dissolved relationship with James.

"I don't believe you," Jess said. Sid was taken aback. He knew it would be hard for her to take all this information in. He knew he shouldn't have begun answering all her questions. He felt it would backfire somehow.

"I had a feeling you wouldn't. Is there anything I can do?" Sid dreaded the thought of calling James, to have him reason with Jess, but he suspected he would have to eventually.

"Get my mom, please." She rested her head back against the pillow and closed her eyes. Sid did as she requested, seeking out her mother and explaining to her how Jess doesn't believe him and wanted her.

He hadn't changed since leaving New York City and he felt like a hot shower may do him some good, so he decided to drive home to change and eat something before coming back to the hospital for the night. He hoped that his presence would help Jess remember something about him. If anything else, it would let her see that he truly cared for her and genuinely loved her.

He rushed home, took care of his business and hurried back towards the hospital. He had been gone for only a couple hours. When he walked through the hallway towards the hospital room, he felt all eyes were on him. Anyone he passed seemed to stare at him with a look of sadness. Like everyone knew his girlfriend had no idea who he was. He turned towards the door and heard some lively chatter coming through Jess' door. His heart pounded in his chest as he heard Jess giggle, and he smiled thinking how he loved her laugh.

"Jimmy, stop! I can't believe you'd say that," Sid heard Jess say. He walked in the room to find Jess sitting up in bed and James sitting in Sid's chair.

"Hey guys," Sid greeted mildly. He smiled at Jess, but felt his heart sink when the smile radiating from her face faded when she saw him.

"Hey Sid, good to see you man," James stood and reached out to shake his hand. Sid reacted to James and turned to place the bag of clothes he was instructed to bring by Jess' mother near the closet.

"When did you get in? I was going to call you," Sid felt mildly jealous that James was here and wondered who called him.

"It's okay, Steve called me last night saying you left the meeting in a rush and when he mentioned why I thought I should come down," James explained. "Here have a seat man. I was going to run down to the cafeteria for something to eat. I drove down and came straight here."

"How did you know Jess was at this hospital?"

"I called her brother after I spoke with Stamkos."

"Sidney it's fine. James wanted to make sure I am okay. Why don't you show him where the cafeteria is so he's not alone?" Jessica suggested. Sid felt that she didn't want to be alone with him, so to make her happy he agreed to go with James. At least it would give Sid the opportunity to talk with James about everything that was happening.

They found a place to sit and awkwardly started chatting about anything but the elephant in the room. James was the first to bite.

"Sid listen, I came to check on her and that is all. I know we haven't seen or spoken to each other in months, but I still care for her. As a friend. It wasn't until I came into the hospital did her mom intercept me to warn me she has amnesia."

"I was working up the nerve to call you. You can't understand how I feel right now though. She has no knowledge of moving here and of her and me dating. She told me she didn't believe me when I told her. I'm completely lost right now. I let this amazing person into my life so quickly and she wakes up one day and only remembers her ex."

"I want to help her get her memory back as much as you do Sid. I can't relate, you're right, but it was completely awkward for me when I went into her room and she started acting like she did when I would come see her after a road trip."

"You knew walking in there that she still thought you were together." Sid didn't know what kind of game James was playing, but he didn't like it.

"I did. Still didn't make it any less shocking." They sat in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes before Sid finally worked the nerve to speak up to James.

"By helping, you mean so that she and I can get on with our life?"

"I will do whatever is asked of me Sid." Hearing that made Sid's stomach churn. He felt now more than ever that James had ulterior motives now that he knew Jess didn't remember him at all.

"She knows who I am, you know. She knows me as Sidney Crosby, face of the NHL. She looks at me like every other star struck person does. I need her to remember me."

"Well she did only just wake up today. Who says she doesn't remember tomorrow or even tonight. You know?"

Sid hated to agree with James, but he had a point. It had not even been a full twenty-four hours since Jess had been awake. There was no way in knowing how long her amnesia would last. But he was determined to not give up on her. He let James eat while he played on his phone, checking sports headlines and to see if any progress had been made in favor of the season starting on time. While reading an article posted to the Post Gazette’s app his screen lit up with Jess’ mother’s name.

“Hello?” Sid answered on the first ring.

“Sidney, Jessica is looking for you. She said you were showing James where the cafeteria is, but she was upset when you didn’t come back.” Well, that was new. He didn’t expect her to be remotely excited by his presence.

“I’ll be right up, thanks for calling.” Sid hung up, left James to his meal and rushed to the closest elevator. Maybe she was remembering him faster than he thought. He turned into her room to see Jess’ sister JoAnn with her. Jess stared wide-eyed at Sid when he walked in, but he was determined to get her to look at him as her boyfriend, not some untouchable star.

“Hey, sorry I stayed down there with James.” He uneasily placed his hands in his shorts pockets and smiled bashfully at Jessica and JoAnn.

“It’s okay, I just thought you were coming right back.”

“I didn’t think you wanted me to,” Sid hesitated. He came up to the side of Jess’ bed and sat down next to JoAnn.

“Sid, I might not remember you but you are my boyfriend. From what I hear my pretty serious one. It will probably be a good idea for you to be around so maybe I can try to start remembering you.” Jess’ eyes twinkled at him and he felt himself relax. He didn’t need to worry about her running off with James. Why he allowed himself to think that was embarrassing.

"I'm going to go find mom. I'll be back later," JoAnn said as she made an excuse to leave the couple alone. She patted her sister's good hand and gave Sid a kiss on the cheek before leaving the room. When she was gone, Sid turned his attention fully on Jess.

"So you believe that we are together?"

"No one has denied it when I ask. It's a bit surreal, I mean because of who you are. I just idolized you from afar. So waking up and having you sit right there was unbelievable."

"You idolized me from afar?" Sid asked amused. He hated that Jess couldn't remember him, thought that James was her boyfriend still, but he was tempted to encourage her to speak of him with what she knew of him.

"Please, as far as hockey players go you are the best. Don't tell James though. He admires you too. But now he gets to play with you I guess." She shrugged her shoulders at Sid. Then her face became very pensive. Sid didn't know what to say, so he reached over for her hand and was relieved when Jess entwined her fingers with his. He squeezed their clasped hands and trapped hers with his other one.

"When I leave here, am I coming back to your place?"

"You mean our place. And I hope you want to, but if you'd rather go to your parents' I can't stop you. I'll be sad and probably just be there with you all the time, but if you need some familiarity then I understand."

Jess shook her head at his response. She looked over at him, tears welled up in her eyes. Determined, "I will come home to your house. I mean our house. And I am going to do everything in my power to remember you."

"Can I kiss you?" Sid asked suddenly. Her determination warmed him and he wanted to feel even closer to her. She hesitantly nodded, and Sid stood and continued to keep their hands linked, leaned over Jess' fragile frame, tickled his fingers along her bruised cheek and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips.

When he pulled away, he continued to hover over her and whispered, "Memory or not, I am happy you are alive. And we can always make new ones."

Jess broke into a huge grin, then giggled, "Sidney Crosby just kissed me!"

Sid groaned, pulled away from Jess and collapsed into his chair as the pair broke out into a fit of laughter.

Notes