The Compromise

Jessica walked out of her hospital room to hear elevated voices coming from the waiting area down the hall. She could recognize everyone talking and she knew instantly that they were talking about her. In mere hours she was being released and much to her parents' protests she decided she was going home to Sewickley with Sidney. She understood why her mom was upset, she wanted to take care of Jess and baby her to no end. But she needed to get back to her real life and not live inside a bubble.

To her surprise the raised voices were not belonging to her mother or Sidney. Thinking back to the morning, she could recall how upset they both were, but knew after much consideration that her mom finally consented to let Jess go back to her home in the suburbs. Instead, the voices belonged to James and her dad. She rounded the corner to make her presence be known when she caught sight of Sid, looking pissed off with his arms crossed and a stern look on his face. He saw Jess walking towards them and quickly moved towards her to intercept her before she reached the fight.

"What's going on Sidney?" She asked as he approached her.

"It's nothing babe, are you hungry? Want to go to the cafeteria with me?" She knew he was trying to distract her from the confrontation happening just down the hall.

"Why are James and my father fighting?" She tried to push past Sid, but he was stronger and has two working arms to her one.

"It's nothing Jess. Come on, I want a fountain soda."

"Please Sidney, in the week I've been around you, you haven't had a single sip of pop. You only drink water or an occasional coffee. "

"Fine, you got me. I just don't want you to go down there. You don't need to be stressed over what is happening."

"But what is happening?"

"Walk with me and I will tell you."

But Jess wouldn't budge. She stood firm and waited defiantly.

"Alright, fine. James thinks it's a bad idea for you to go home with me. Your dad heard him and me talking and got in between us."

"Where does he think I should be?" Jess knew James didn't have much say in her life, but she felt bad for him. He wanted more than anything for her to budge and just pretend the last year didn't happen. That they could still be happy and together, but she feared if she did that she would get her memory back and recall why she left him in the first place.

"He claims he thinks you would be better off at your parents' house, but he wants you at his place with him. Since you think you guys are still together."

"But I know we're not. Would it be easier to just be somewhere I am familiar with, sure. But that's not my life. Which was your entire defense with my mom this morning."

"And is why your father is defending our decision for you to just stay at your house with me." Jess didn't care to hear anymore and turned back towards the waiting room to stop the arguing now. Sid didn't stop her from brushing past him and turned on his heel to follow behind her.

When she got into the room everyone stopped and stared at her.

"I'm going to Sid's house with him. That is where I live. Now, mom you have been invited to come there and stay for as long as you like. But there will be no more discussion of what will be in my best interest. I feel like I will benefit being where I live. Stop treating me like I am some fragile little girl. I lost my memory not the ability to make my own decisions!"

"But Jess, you have no knowledge of that place," James tried. He stepped closer to her to see if she would let him in.

"And you think going to your house would serve a better purpose? I don't know it either. At least at Sid's my stuff is there. I am closer to the school I apparently teach at. I want to go back to normal, and going back to Sid's and work will help me be normal again. Let me just be normal." She pleaded her case, she stood her ground and she was ready to go home.

She turned to Sid who stood a few feet behind her and looked at him. She might not remember him, but she was determined to learn about him all over again. As much as she tried to deny it she was drawn to this man. Whether she ever remembers she didn't want to give up on them. She appreciated him for never leaving her side in the last week, and could easily see why she would have fallen for him. The love he had for her was pretty evident; he wore his heart on his sleeve for her. She relaxed and nodded for him to follow her, which he did and flashed a smug smile towards James as she past him.

******
"Mom! Mom! Relax. I’m not teaching, I am going to be working with my substitute until I am comfortable taking over on my own. The students have been told that I was in a bad accident and that my memory is shot," Jess explained as she shuffled around the expansive kitchen trying to pack a lunch. Janet was at the stove making breakfast for her daughter as she prepared to return to work after being out for a month.

"I just worry that's all. Where is Sidney?" Her mother asked. Jess just shrugged her good shoulder and continued to throw together some semblance of a meal to take.

"He can't still be sleeping. He's usually awake before I am! I made enough here for all of us."

"Do you want me to go see if he is still asleep?" Jess was slightly annoyed. She wanted to be early to school and at the rate she was going she wouldn't be. She didn't have the energy to go search for Sidney, who was most likely working out and she didn't want to bother him when he was.

"No no, just come sit down and eat before this gets cold." Jess did as she was told and sat at a place set at the island and dug into her scrambled eggs. Her mom set a mug of coffee in front of Jess and stood studying Jess as she ate. It was a challenge considering Jess had very little mobility in her right arm, and considering she was right handed she struggled with her fork in her left.

She ate without interruption for several minutes before her mom spoke, "Have you spoken with James lately?"

She paused mid-bite and looked up at her mom startled. "Uh, yeah just yesterday he called me. You were at the store and Sidney was God knows where. We talked for about an hour."

"Anything interesting?"

"No, just small talk. Reminisced about Texas since I still don't remember last year. He's pretty convinced that I should be with him." She resumed eating and waited to see if her mom would respond.

"Do you think you should be with him?" Jess contemplated her answer before verbalizing it.

"It would be easier since I remember him." She shrugged her shoulder nonchalantly.

"Is this where you want to be sweetie?"

Jess didn't get a chance to respond because the back door into the kitchen swung open.

"We were wondering where you were," Janet said as Sid walked through the door.

"Yeah I went for a run this morning. It was nice and cool so I wanted to take advantage of it." Sid walked towards Jess and rubbed his hand along her back and leaned in to kiss her forehead.

"Morning," Jess said in between bites of egg.

"Hey," Sid replied.

"So Sid I am taking Jess to work then heading back down to Wheeling. You will be in town for a while right?"

"Yep, I've got nothing on the agenda with this lockout happening." He sat down next to Jess and began to dig into his plate that Jess' mom placed in front of him.

"I'm finished at 3:30. You'll be there to pick me up?"

"Absolutely babe. Is there anything I can do for you while you're at work?" Jess looked over at him and studied his features. Just looking at him, being attentive to her needs, wanting to be there for her made her feel conflicted. But she wanted to see James and knew Sid wouldn't take her to see him, so she formulated a quick plan.

"Better yet, just get dinner started and I will have Sarah bring me home. She offered to bring me home since she goes by this area to her place every day."

"Oh, ok. Are you sure? I'd like to come get you."

"No it's fine, I'll let you know when I am on my way home. Mom, are you about ready?" Jess hurriedly finished her coffee, leaned over to kiss Sid on his cheek and hopped down to leave the house. Her mom said bye to Sid and followed behind her daughter.

The day progressed regularly and her students were happy to see her back even if it was only to sit in and see what was going on. She managed to get ahold of James around lunch time and he agreed to pick her up happily. When the day came to an end she walked out of the front of the school building to find James leaning against the passenger side door smiling at her. She smiled, felt butterflies in her stomach and rushed towards him.

"Hi!" She exclaimed as she threw her good arm around his neck. He laughed, hugged her back and greeted her sweetly.

"I'm surprised Sid isn't here picking you up," James began as he opened the door and helped her inside.

"I wanted to talk to you without him hovering around," Jess explained as James climbed in and started up the car.

"Oh? What about?" James asked as he pulled out of the lot and into the flow of traffic.

"I need you to tell me what happened." When he glanced at her confused she inserted, "To us."

"We broke up." He didn't seem to want to divulge any more than that.

"I know that, but why? What happened?" Jess was getting frustrated with him and his flippant attitude. He continued to drive towards her house without mentioning anymore.

"James, come on! What happened?"

"Things fell apart. We grew apart. You got close to Sid and I grew close to the single guys on the team."

Jess just stared at him. He grew quiet and continued to drive towards her house.

"Is that all you wanted? I thought that maybe this would be slightly different."

"You still love me."

"I do,” James said emphatically, “Do you still love me?" He stared at her hopeful that she would respond the way that he wanted.

"I don't know,” Jess replied, noticing that they were quickly approaching her house, “This drive is a lot shorter than I thought."

"Yeah it is." He stopped in front of her house and Jess noticed Sid's SUV pulled up to the garage door. She wondered what he was doing inside and secretly regretted having lied to him to see James. She hoped he wouldn't be too mad with her. She had an eerie sense of déjà vu, but didn't say a word of it to James.

"Well I'm glad this didn't accomplish anything," his voice dripped with sarcasm. Jess rolled her eyes at him and moved to get out of his car.

As she opened the door she started to climb out when she said, “I asked you to see me to clarify things for me. Not piss me off and vice versa. You did nothing to make some things clearer for me and I’ve been too scared to ask Sid what he knows. So, thanks for that.”

“Jess, wait!” James exclaimed as she slammed the door closed and made for the front door to her house. He followed her around to her side of the car as she started to march across the lawn, not caring if she should or shouldn’t be walking on the manicured grass.

“What? Are you going to babble over your words again? Not make things clear for me? Do you want me to get better or are you hoping I never remember so that maybe you have a second chance?” Jess felt tears burning behind her eyelids. She was certain if Sid didn’t know she was home, he knew now. She wasn’t hiding the volume of her voice. She turned to face him fully and stood her ground. She wanted answers and she didn’t care who heard.

“What do you want to know?” James seemed deflated; he was finally ready to speak.

“Why didn’t we work out?” She reached her good arm across to grip her casted arm and remained in the middle of the lawn.

“Because I cheated on you! Is that what you wanted to hear? I lived with this guilt after you moved here and did my best to hide it. And it didn’t stop after you moved here. Even when you suspected it I denied it. I even got Paul to cover for me because I didn’t want to lose you. I was greedy and didn’t deserve you and yes I secretly hoped you would never get your memory back so that maybe I could convince you that we were happy once and we could go back to that. Because I do regret everything I ever did to you. I would do anything to take back what I did.”

Jess was not expecting to hear James confess to something so life altering, even for someone who had no memory of that last year. She heard the front door creak open, but didn’t turn to face Sidney. She couldn’t even force the tears in her eyes to shed. She was livid that he would confess to that on the front lawn of her house.

“Come on Jess, say something. You not saying a word is making me nervous.”

“You cheated on me. How many were there?” Jess saw a shadow cast over her and sensed Sidney approached the duo quietly.

“Does that matter?” His voice was barely above a whisper. She noticed that he wasn’t looking at her anymore, but beyond her and knew that he was locked in a stare down with Sidney.

“How many James?” Jess stepped back and bumped into Sidney. She had no idea he was standing that close. He steadied her, but didn’t stop the confrontation from unfolding.

“There were two before you moved here and another three before we broke up for good.”

“Did you know about this?” Jess spun around to face Sidney. She was beginning to think that if James was lying, then Sid may have lied at some point too.

“I swear I didn’t Jess.” And for some reason she believed him. She couldn’t tell if it was because the look he was giving her, or that he seemed just as shocked by James’ revelation. But she knew he had no clue of his teammate’s infidelities.

“Get rid of him please,” she pleaded as she collapsed against him resting her head in the crook of his neck, shielding her eyes from the bright sky, the jerk who broke her, and the sting of her tears finally escaping.

“You heard Jess. Leave James, and don’t bother us again.” James didn’t argue, he turned and climbed into his car driving off while Sidney just held Jess to him as she cried.

“I’m so sorry Sid. I lied to you. I asked him to come get me so I could talk to him. I never dreamed of him being so revealing.” Jess pulled back to look at Sidney who wore a sympathetic look on his face.

“Don’t apologize Jess. You are just trying to figure your life out. I get that. I wouldn’t have cared if you had told me though.” She smiled at him through her tears and gripped his t-shirt tightly in his fists. Without hesitation she pressed a kiss to his lips that caught him off guard, but was well-received. He brushed his hands along her cheeks and deepened the kiss. She allowed his tongue to slip through and she reached around his waist to hold him. She broke away from his lips after several minutes and brushed her lips across his chin and along his neck.

“I want to come back to you babe, so much,” she whispered.

“You will. I can feel it.”

Notes