The Compromise

Jessica arrived at James' place in record time and with no interruptions from Sidney. He still hadn't noticed that she left, and she was hoping she would be back without him finding out that she left. And typically she wouldn't go running to James the way she did, but for some reason his text spurred her on and she needed to see that he was alright.

She knocked lightly on the door, hoping it was loud enough for him to hear. When the door swung open several moments later Jess was greeted by a very disheveled looking James. He was wearing his glasses, his clothes were wrinkled and his eyes were red. She opened the screen door and walked right into his open arms. She felt him shaking and her heart went out to him. She had no idea what he was so worked up about, but she knew he needed someone to provide comfort right now.

"Shh, it's okay. Everything will be okay," Jess cooed in attempt to calm him. He squeezed her tighter, but didn't move away from the open door. "Let's go inside, okay? It's cold outside and we don't want to put on a show for the neighbors."

James reluctantly pulled away and led Jess up to his living room where it was obvious he had been pacing by the path of destruction there was. Overturned pillows, tables pushed askew. Jess didn't know what to expect when she came over. But by the looks of it, he needed support and she couldn't figure out why.

"Well the holidays sucked," James started. He collapsed on the sofa with a loud thud.

"Why did they suck?" Jess asked as she gingerly sat down near him. She didn't want to be self-centered but she was hoping he wasn't dwelling on her getting engaged to his teammate the entire time he was in Whitby. She noticed the wads of tissue scattered around the coffee table and fought the urge to clean up.

"Come on Jess, it's obvious." James looked at her with fresh tears forming in his eyes. "I had to be strong for the last two weeks. I couldn't just go to my room and lose it. Mom was a wreck. Becks was not herself and I had to man up and put up this strong front to hold everyone together." He leaned forward and ran his fingers through his hair. That explained why his hair was standing on end. "And I just need someone who will support me now and you're the closest person here that knows why I need you and will be here for me while I lose it."

"Of course! Come here," Jess encouraged and opened her arms for him to fall into. She wanted to ask James one more question, but started to feel nervous. "Jimmy, where was your dad?"

He seized up in her arms, the tension that had been slipping away overtook his body again. She knew then she said the wrong thing. "Jimmy, I'm so sorry," she whispered, "But I can't remember."

"But you did remember Jess. You knew he died. You went with me to the funeral and everything."

Jess wracked her brain for something, anything, to help make this situation better. "I'm so sorry jimmy, I'm not trying to make this worse for you. I thought my memory was completely back. Now that you mention it I do remember that time. It was pretty traumatic and I didn't think how this first Christmas without him would affect you and your family. But I am here now, to show you support, let you cry as much as you want, anything really."

James didn't at anymore, but rested his head against Jess' chest and cried, silently, but felt soothed by her embrace and the feel of her fingers running through his hair. "Thank you," he whispered.

"Absolutely."

James sat up and gave Jess a sad smile. "I know we aren't together anymore and our success rate at being friends has been blundering, but I really do appreciate you coming over and being here with me."

"James stop, it's fine. We are fine."

"But I want you to know that I love you. Part of me never has and probably never will stop. And I am not saying that to fight with you and make you angry or in a lame attempt to sabotage what you have with Sid. I see it now. How incredibly perfect you two are together. Where we were flawed and young and stupid."

"James, part of me will always love you and I hope with us sharing this will help us get over any jealous feelings or..."

James looked bewildered by Jess' choice of words, "Jealous feelings? I'm not jealous of you and Sid."

Jess' mouth fell open but no sounds came out.

"Wait, are you jealous of me and Sarah?" James asked when he realized Jess was at a loss with words.

"No!" She was quick with her answer and the volume of her voice elevated.

"I can't believe you're jealous of us," James teased and fell back against the couch. Jess glanced over her shoulder back at James and threw him an exasperated look. She felt him pull her back and she rested against his solid chest, listening quietly to the slow rhythm of his heartbeat.

After a spell, she spoke, "I just don't like that she's been as intimate with you as I have. She has seen and felt things that I have seen and felt. I don't think I would be feeling this way if you had hooked up with someone I didn't know."

James pressed a kiss to the crown of Jess' head. He liked knowing his actions still affected her. "No matter what happens between me and Sarah you're still my number one girl."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, always."

"I told Sid he couldn't be your friend anymore."

James chuckled and asked, "Why?"

"Because I was mad at you."

"Can he be my friend now?"

"Eh I guess it can be allowed."

"What is he doing right now anyways?" James asked. He was curious how Jess escaped the house to come see him.

"He was holed up in his office going over the new CBA with his agent."

"Sounds boring."

"Shouldn't you be doing something like that?"

"Maybe, but I don't really care. In a week I'll be back on the ice and playing the sport I love."

"Feeling better?" Jess asked without moving from their embrace.

"Much, thank you," he replied. She sat up slowly and turned to look at James. His eyes weren't as red or puffy as before. And his features looked much more relaxed. "I can always count on you to calm me down." And the toothy grin he gave her set her in motion. Without thinking she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. It started out as gentle, friendly, familial, but he grasped her cheeks and held her close to him as the pressure increased and they were both getting lost in each other.

"Stop, Jess, stop," James said between kisses. He grasped her shoulders and gently pushed her back a bit. Realizing what just happened, Jess stood quickly and gave themselves a few feet of distance.

"Oh my god! I can't believe I just did that," Jess whispered. Her hands were covering her lips still tingling from his touch.

"Jess you should go," James started, "Before we do anything else we may regret."

"Don't tell Sidney," Jess pleaded as she grabbed her purse and coat. "He doesn't need to know."

"Right, it was a mistake," James agreed.

"Yes, a mistake. I just got caught up in the moment. He doesn't need to know I was here either," Jess explained.

"Scout's honor he will never hear it front me," James said. He followed Jess to the front door. She turned around to say bye and started for a hug, but then stopped.

"Better not, I might be liable to do something else I may regret," Jess said.

"Yeah, you're right. Good call. Text me to let me know you made it home later."

"I will, bye Jimmy," Jess said as she walked down towards her car.

James leaned against the door frame and smiled sadly at her retreating form. To say he regretted the kiss was incorrect. He didn't regret it, it felt right. But he wouldn't pursue it any further. She was engaged and he had to move on. He pulled out his phone and dialed the first person he could think of.

Sarah answered on the third ring, "Hey stranger."

"Hey, I'm back in the city. Want to come over?" James asked.

"Sure, give me an hour and I'll be there."

"Great, bye." James hung up and turned to straighten up the living room since it was the only thing he could straighten out.

*****

Jess didn't go straight home. She needed to calm down from what just happened and make it look like she left on a mission rather than walk into the house empty handed. She stopped at the nearest bookstore and grabbed a few bridal magazines and a world history book she saw Sidney looking at the last time they were there together. She knew he didn't get it for Christmas nor did he buy it when he seemed so intrigued by it.

After she stopped at the nearest Chipotle and picked up some burritos for lunch and glanced at her phone. She had two texts and a missed call from Sidney. Quickly she called him back.

"Where are you?" He didn't greet her with a warm hello, instead there was panic in his voice.

"I'm leaving the mall now. I texted you where I was going. Did you not get it?" She asked quickly. She was slightly impressed with herself for thinking that one out so quickly.

"Obviously not or I wouldn't be frantic babe!"

"Hold on," Jess pulled her phone away and gave it a few seconds to make it seem like she was checking something. "It's still in my cue, I didn't realize the message didn't send. I'm so sorry! But I got us some lunch and I got you a present."

"Babe, Christmas was two weeks ago! What did you do?"

For just a second Jess suspected Sid knew something and the guilt was building, "You will have to wait and see."

"Well, hurry home. I'm famished," Sid said. Jess laughed uneasily and after another minute, hung up the phone. But before she put the car into drive she let a few tears fall. She knew James would be able to keep their secret, but she wasn't so sure how long she would be able to.

*****

Sidney was finishing up in his office when he heard the door open and close. He followed the sound of movement out into the kitchen to see Jessica standing at her makeshift desk cleaning up the folders and books she had spread out.

"Ready for tomorrow?" Sid asked as he walked to wrap her in a hug. He felt her tense a bit when doing so, and frowned slightly before pulling away. "You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry about the message not going through."

"Why didn't you just pop into the office? I wouldn't have cared if you interrupted." Sid helped Jess by moving the laptop and a pile of textbooks to the actual kitchen desk.

"I know, but I felt bad. Anyways, both burritos are the same. I am going to run upstairs and change out of my jeans. Will you get lunch ready?"

"Yep!" Sid smiled at Jess and moved to unload the lunch onto plates for them. Jess left her Barnes and Noble bag on the counter along with her cell phone and purse.

While Jess was upstairs her phone dinged indicating a message and being only slightly curious he saw that it was from James. Opening up her phone he read: "Thanks for stopping by and helping me out. I hope you made it home alright."

Sid was take aback by this. Jess was hiding something from him and he didn't understand why. Only a couple weeks ago didn't she say how she didn't want him talking to James? Wasn't she so upset with James hooking up with Sarah that she didn't want anything to do with him anymore? Then why was she going to see him? And why would she lie about it?

Sid heard Jess walking down the steps and quickly placed her phone on the counter. The text an afterthought when she entered the kitchen and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Are you done being all important in the NHL for the day?"

"Ha! Yeah, I'm sorry sweetie. I didn't think Pat would call and want to go over everything like that. Most of it I tuned out."

"Good, I missed you today. And tomorrow I go back to work and before we know it you'll be working nonstop until June."

"It's going to get crazy, that's for sure. But I'm most looking forward to July 6th."

Jess kissed Sid's neck as she couldn't reach much further without standing on her tip toes. "Me too babe. Let's eat." And he let go of any concerns he had, at least for the time being.

*****

James collapsed against the mattress as Sarah finished and quickly followed suit. Their bodies stayed intertwined as their breathing slowed and the sweat cooled their skin. After several minutes of quiet Sarah shifted to James' side and propped her head up on her hand to look down at him.

"Care to talk about it?" She asked.

James squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to block out the events that transpired only hours ago. Knowing he needed to talk he caved and looked at Sarah. "Did I ever tell you that my father died last winter? This was our first holiday season without him."

"Oh James, no you never said a word of it to me. Needed a release huh?"

"Well Jess came over to check on me and something happened. Promise you won't breathe a word of this to her! Do not let on that you know and if or when she tells you act like it is the first time you've heard it."

"Okay, I promise."

"She kissed me. Like full on lip action. It caught me off guard."

"And now you're confused about it? Called me over to forget about it?" Sarah asked.

"Fuck no! I called you over because I missed this tight piece of ass," James made Sarah squeal as he rolled onto his side and gripped her butt in his hand. "I know you and I haven't really established anything between us, but I like where this could potentially go."

"Oh yeah?"

"You give off this persona that you are sweet and pleasant, but you have this dark side. A little vixen and I like that."

"I like you a lot too."

"You're not mad about what happened?"

"Not in the slightest. You're mine now though. So no fucking around!" Sarah kidded making James laugh. He pushed her back against the mattress and showered her face in kisses forgetting about everything that happened earlier that day.

Notes

Ugh, so I accidentally deleted this entirely the other day. And I do everything on my iPad so I got frustrated and gave up on copying it back on here. Anyways, if this is your first time reading The Compromise enjoy! And let me know what you think!