The Compromise

Jess had texted Taylor back simply by asking to keep her updated, and if Sidney wanted her to come to the hospital that she would. But she chose it was best to continue to respect his wishes and keep her distance. Sarah told her everything James had reported: he had lost several teeth and there was too much blood before he left the arena to know the extent of the damage. They had taken him to the hospital. They didn’t know anything more than that.

Jess had to take what little information James had and the various texts from Taylor to remain calm. James had told Sarah that he and a handful of the guys were going over to Mercy to find out more and to see if they could visit with their teammate. When James made it over to their place later that night, Jess was sitting at the kitchen table attempting lesson plans for the upcoming shortened week.

“Hey shorty,” James said when he caught sight of Jess. He didn’t wait for a response and sought out Sarah as Jess gave the back of his head an evil glare.

“James! How is he?” Jess asked as she watched him pull Sarah into a hug and kissed her temple.

“How is who?” he asked nonchalantly as he sat on the couch pulling Sarah down on his lap.

“C’mon! I never ask you to give me updates on Sid, you always do at your own accord. But I need to know now, is he going to be alright?” James was focused completely on Sarah and seemed to be ignoring Jess as she straddled the dining chair she was sitting in.

“He’s going to be out for some time, possibly the rest of the regular season. His jaw is shattered and he is missing like eight teeth. He had to have surgery because the way his jaw broke was running a risk of losing blood flow to his face. He’s a trooper though. He was awake and relatively alert when I saw him.”

“You got to see him?”

“Yeah, he can’t talk though. He was scribbling things on a notepad. We left when the nurses said he needed to rest and kicked us out. His parents and sister were still there when we left though.”

The trio fell into a contemplative silence. Jess wondering whether she should press the issue any further. James and Sarah seemed to be having a silent conversation with each other. They began to shuffle up from the couch and move towards her room.

“Should I go see him?” The question stopped James and Sarah in their tracks, the pair turning around to face the distraught woman. “Did he mention wanting me to come see him?”

“He didn’t, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be happy to see you.”

“Really?”

“Jess, the man is a robot anymore. According to Dupers he is reverting back to how he was before the concussions. He’s only focused on hockey and nothing else. He doesn’t go out with the guys at all, he doesn’t call or text unless it is hockey related. You breathed a life into him that seemed to be sucked out as soon as you walked out that door.”

“He wanted me to leave.” Jess looked down at her clenched hands. The previous updates James had provided were nothing like the conversation that was beginning to transpire between the pair. James moved slightly closer to Jess to say something else.

“He was angry Jess. He didn’t stop you because he needed to cool off. When you moved the rest of your things out he pretty much gave up hope that he could win you back.”

“You’ve never said this before.”

“I didn’t think this was something you needed to hear. You’ve been adjusting so well, I didn’t want to mess with that unless you asked.”

“Thanks Jimmy,” Jess said. James smiled slightly at Jess then turned back to Sarah and followed her back to her room. Jess pulled out her earbuds and placed them in to tune out any sounds the two may make and tried to focus on the work in front of her. She didn’t text Taylor again, just thanked her for the updates and waited in anticipation that maybe she would reply back that he wanted to see her.

*****

“What time should we expect you honey?” Janet asked Jess the following morning.

“Uh, I don’t know mom. Something happened to Sidney and he is in the hospital,” Jess started. The next morning she was banging around the kitchen trying to brew a pot of coffee without her glasses when her mom called to check in.

“Oh no! I hope he is okay, does he want you to go see him?” Janet asked. Jess knew her mom sided with Sidney on what happened between the pair even though throughout her relationship with him she seemed to still favor James at times.

“Yeah, his sister called a little bit ago saying that the first thing he wrote to her this morning was that he wished I was there with him.”

“Well, if you think you can handle it, what could it hurt? At least for peace of mind right? If you don’t make it down here do not worry sweetheart. But if you do, dinner will be at 4.”

“Okay Mom, thanks. Happy Easter. Love you,” Jess hurried to end the conversation. As soon as she could, she showered, dressed, poured some of the coffee that finally brewed and scribbled a note to Sarah that she went to the hospital.

True to form area media and some national media vans were parked along the street outside of the main lobby of Mercy Hospital. Jess parked in a nearby lot, discreetly entered through the main lobby and made a beeline to the elevators. Taylor had told her to check in at the nurses’ station and show her photo ID. They would have a list of who was permitted beyond that point to Sidney’s room. But Jess felt her nerves strike again. She didn’t know what sort of reception she would get from Sid’s family. Clearly, his sister was being supportive, but his parents were going to be a challenge she felt.

But as she checked in and turned the corner towards the corridor where Sidney was she saw Troy. He looked initially surprised, but a smile spread across his face and he opened his arms for Jess to fall into with a silent sob.

“It’s good to see you kid. Sid is going to be over the moon when you go in there,” Troy said as he let Jess hug his midsection. Trina walked out of Sid’s room with Taylor following when they heard Troy talking in the hallway.

“My other girl!” Trina exclaimed and tugged Jess away from Troy for her own hug.

“You were all in on this?” Jess asked as she felt Trina run her fingers soothingly through her hair.

“Of course we were,” Taylor piped in, “He’s been a complete asshole since you two broke up. It took a lot out of me, but I got him to fess up that he wanted you back. But he has no idea you are here now, so go ahead.”

“We will wait out here,” Troy said. Jess nodded and took a deep breath. This could go exactly as the Crosbys’ wanted or completely blow up in their faces. She walked through the closed hospital room door, felt her palms sweating a bit and stepped into Sidney’s view.

His face was swollen on the right side, but there were no bandages or anything hiding the severity of the blow to his face. He shifted when he caught sight of someone in the room and immediately scooted to the right side of the bed when he realized Jess was standing there. Patting the exposed mattress with his left hand, void of any IV tubes, Jess hiccupped as she rushed to the side of the bed, climbed in and collapsed against his side. She draped her arm across him as his encircled her. She pressed a kiss against his collarbone and felt the tears she had been holding back drift in calming streams down her cheeks.

****

Sid had been home for two days after spending nearly five days in the hospital and he was happier than he ever imagined he could be given the situation he was in. He wasn't experiencing concussion-like symptoms. He was only going to miss the regular season. Which was only a few more weeks. But personally he got his girl back. They hadn't gotten a chance to talk things through. Until two days ago he was still communicating with a notepad, but he knew the conversation would happen. It needed to happen, but he needed her to know he didn't care. He was miserable without her around. And he wanted her with him no matter the capacity.

“I’m going into Consol tomorrow,” Sid said as he watched his mom try to blend some spinach with the various fruits and ice she place in his blender. He walked into the kitchen saying he was hungry, and she quickly volunteered to fix him a smoothie. But what she was blending did not look appetizing to him.

“Do you think that is a good idea honey?” She asked as she poured the mixture into a tall glass.

“I need to show the media that I am going to be fine.” He sniffed at the glass and blanched away.

“Oh it’s not that bad! Just drink it. You need some protein; you’ve lost too much muscle mass as it is.” Sid took a sip and decided it wasn’t the worst thing he ever had then took another sip. “Will Jessica be coming over soon?”

“Uh, I don’t know. She was going down to Wheeling this morning. I hope so though.” He sat down across from his mom as she cleaned up the mess she made.

“Are you happy she showed up last week?” She asked as she placed the fruit back inside the fridge.

“Yeah, I mean, we have a lot to work through, but having her there was nice.”

“Sid.”

“What?”

“It’s just your momma here; you don’t have to provide the media friendly answer.” He smiled a crooked smile at his mother and relaxed.

“When she walked into the hospital room I felt whole again. I didn’t need to write anything, she was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. And she didn’t hesitate to come to me when I signaled her to. And then she wrapped her arms around me and I knew I wouldn’t be able to let her go again. So asking me if I am happy is an understatement. No more fucking around, this is it. She is it.”

Trina smiled, “You two are the epitome of the saying ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder,’ huh?”

“Yeah, I guess we are.” Sid liked knowing that three months apart and they still were in love.

“Well I am happy for you two. You both are young, you make mistakes. You forgive each other and move on. And you two don’t need to rush into a marriage, just enjoy each other’s company.”

“That’s what I plan on doing this time Mom.”

“Hellooo?” A voice echoed through the front of the house. Sid instantly grinned, downed the rest of his smoothie and hopped off the stool just as Jess entered the kitchen. She was in his arms and he was breathing her in before she could take off her coat or say anything else. She pulled back far enough to see his face. She kissed his good cheek as greeting and hugged him tighter.

“That was a quick trip,” Sid said. Jess bit her lip and suppressed a giggle, “What?”

“You’re speech impediment is adorable, that’s all,” Jess said not noticing Trina behind the couple and remaining in Sid’s embrace. "Never lose it."

"When I get teeth again I will be able to talk," Sid complained. He pouted the best he could making Jess chuckle and kiss his cheek again. She noticed Sid's mom and pulled free from Sid.

"Oh hi Trina! Didn't see you there," Jess said embarrassed.

"Hi sweetheart. What are you two going to get in to this afternoon?" Trina asked as she wiped down the countertops.

"We don't have anything specific planned, we are going to go upstairs for a little bit," Sid said and turned for Jess to follow him up to his room. She waved at Trina shyly and followed Sid up to have a little privacy and some time by themselves. His parents have stayed in Pittsburgh, but Troy had to take Taylor back to school so that left Trina to take care of Sid for the next couple days.

Sid collapsed on his old side of the bed and propped himself up with the extra pillows around him.

"It's weird being in here," Jess said as she took off her jacket and boots. She wandered through the closet and noticed her side was still completely bare. She felt her breath hitch in her throat and wondered whether her drawers were still empty. After further investigating she determined that he did nothing to adjust to her moving out. He left everything in the hopes she would return. She didn't know if she should feel sad or hopeful that he would want her back here one day.

After exiting the bathroom, where her side of the vanity was still bare too, she knelt back on her legs at the foot of the bed facing sidney. He remained silent the entire time she explored her old living quarters. He smiled sadly at her, "I guess we should talk about this, huh?"

"You didn't change anything in here. I don't understand."

"I guess I was just holding onto some hope that you'd come back." Sid fidgeted with a fake piece of fuzz on his white t-shirt in order to avoid Jess' gaze. She felt tears well up in her eyes as she continued gazing around the room. He glanced up when he heard her sniffling.

"I'm not expecting you to move back in and fall back into the same patterns as before Jess." She nodded in understanding and ran her hand across her nose. "I was stupid."

"No! I was stupid! I was the one who messed up," she argued.

"I was stupid for letting you go. Maybe if I didn't reign with such a tight leash," Sid said with the best smile he could come up with making Jess laugh.

"You were perfect. I needed you to tell me to go. It put a lot into perspective and I feel like I got my life on track the way I want it to be."

Sid looked puzzled, "Did you miss me at all while you were getting back on track?"

Jess knew she did, but she made it a point to never let on to others that she missed him the way she did. Sid saw her hesitate and felt a bit forlorn. "Never mind. You don't have to answer that."

"I didn't allow myself to sit around and mope, but that doesn't mean I didn't miss you. I waited to hear anything from James when he would come see Sarah, but I never asked. I didn't want them to think I was too eager. But I waited and waited to hear if by chance he had anything indicating how much you missed me. I've ached for you at night when I try to fall asleep, which I eventually do because of the medicine I am on. But it's always when I go to bed do I miss you the most. After falling asleep in your arms for so long and then having to adjust to not have your warmth, your strength keeping me safe was the worst. I didn't lose my fiancé, I lost my best friend that day. And I've been waiting patiently, albeit as calmly and with a mask hiding my anticipation for this moment, for three months now. I can't just move right back in here. But I can tell you how much I love you and haven't stopped loving you and how much relief washed over me when Taylor called and insisted you were asking for me."

Sid moved faster than she expected and had her drawn close to him. He ached to kiss her, but couldn't. Sensing this, Jess pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth and felt him shudder in her arms. "I have missed you too, you have no idea."

"Uh, I think I do yo!" Jess giggled and collapsed down on the bed. Sid propped his head on his hand so he could stare down at her.

"Don't leave me again, promise," Sid pleaded softly. He brushed some hair out of her face and tenderly ran his finger along her cheek.

"Don't try to get rid of me," Jess chided arching an eyebrow his way.

"Yeah, well don't do something that may make me regretfully tell you to leave," Sid said and immediately regretted it. Jess' face instantly went from playful to pained in a matter of seconds and it was a look he never wanted to see on her face. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Babe I didn't mean that. I thought I was being silly and it came out so wrong. Can you forgive me?"

"The elephant in the room has finally voiced its concerns," Jess said as she sat up and leaned against the headboard. "I'm not mad that you said that, this is what I have been working on all these months. I did something that can be a be all end all in a relationship. I just need you to know that I didn't go over there with the intention of hurting you. I have no feelings for James. It is taking me time and some costly therapy to work through it, but I got lost somewhere in the whirlwind of my relationship with him. You are everything I could ask for, and hope that you can forgive me for my transgressions."

"Jess, of course I do! I love you!"

Jess smiled, "I love you too Sid."

Notes