The Captains

During the rest of our summer, Jon and didn't do much else, especially when my leg was still healing. We stayed in Chicago and just lived our normal lives. We went to Cubs games and White Sox games, took day trips to Lake Michigan's nicer beaches, went boating on the lake, and anything else we thought of doing.

About two weeks before training camp, Jon's brother broke up with his girlfriend of a few years, so he was pretty bummed and wanted to go on a fishing trip with Jon and their close guy friends for a few days. While Jon was in Canada on that trip, I went home to Pittsburgh to spend a little more time with my family before the season started. Before I went, I told Sidney that I'd be there, so he came back from his summer home to see me. Jon and I left on the same day and went to the airport together. His flight was leaving about an hour before mine, so I went with him to his gate. When it was time for him to board, I kissed him goodbye and watched him leave.

After he was gone, I made my way over to my gate and waited for it to board. When it did, I got in line and to my seat. Once we got in the air, I turned my phone back on and put my earphones in and watched out of the window.

My flight wasn't bad, and it seemed to go by pretty quick. When the plane landed, I got off as quick as I could and made my way to the baggage claim. When I was going down the escalator, I looked up to see a beaming Sidney with a sign that had my name on it. I quickly made my way over to him and he pulled me into a big hug.
"Glad to see you walking on both feet." he said, smiling down at me
"Yeah, me too." I said. I still got a little sore and I couldn't move it a certain way, but other than that my leg was as good as new. The two of us starting catching up as we made our way to the bag carousel. We waited for my suitcase to come, and when it did, Sidney got it for me. He wheeled it for me as we walked out to his car.
"To your parents house?" he asked
"Yep." I said. I would be staying with them this time since I didn't need the extra privacy Jon and I would need.

When Sidney pulled into the driveway, he carried my suitcase in for me. My parents were living together again, so they were both their. I had no clue when they were deciding to do their wedding.

When we got inside, my parents were sitting outside on our deck. Sid and I got my stuff upstairs to my room and then we went outside and joined them. When I did walk outside, something was different about my mother, extremely different. She was in a wheel chair and had oxygen tubes in her nose with the tank sitting on the ground next to her. She also looked really frail and tired.
"Mom?" I asked, pulling up a chair next to her.
"Hi sweetie." she said, smiling weakly and sounding really tired.
"Mom, wha- what's wrong?" I asked, my voice getting shaky. Her smile faded from her face and she looked over to my dad.
"Your mother was diagnosed with lung cancer." he said briskly.
"When." I asked
"About 4 months ago." he said
"I was here 4 months ago." I said coldly.
"We didn't want to put a burden you." she said
"Put a burden on me?" I said, starting to cry, "I could've had all summer to be with you, to be here. The season is about to start, and now you want to tell me?" I said, tears streaming down my face.
"How long does she have?" I asked my dad. He didn't respond and his face turned red.
"Dad." I said.
"It's day to day." he said. I leaned back in my chair and put my head in my hands. This couldn't be happening to me. Not now. I could only have days left with my mom, and I didn't have Jon here to help me through it.

The rest of the day, I stayed outside with my parents. Sidney stayed there with us pretty late, until after my mother had gone to bed, which was significantly early compared to when she used to. After she and my dad were upstairs for the night, I walked Sid out to his car.
"You sure you're okay?" he asked when we had made it down the driveway.
"I guess, I mean there's not much I can do now is there?" I said, more tears pricking at my eyes.
Sidney pulled me into a tight hug and held me for a while. I took in his all too familiar scent, which made me even more sad. Ever since I came home earlier in the summer, I had been missing Pittsburgh more than ever. I'm not sure if its because I don't have hockey to keep me busy and I'm starting to think about home, or I'm actually home-sick. Sidney asked if I wanted to go to the 21st Street Diner, but I wasn't feeling it. We hugged one last time and he left. I made my way back inside and up to my room then called Jon. I told him about my mom and that I'd probably be staying in Pittsburgh until training camp, and that if he wanted to, Jon could come and stay with us. He agreed, and said that when the fishing trip was over, he'd come.

After Jon and I got done talking, I tried going to sleep, but failed. My mind kept racing about my mom and Pittsburgh. I knew my mom would be gone soon, and I had to get past that she hadn't told me until now. I just needed to be with her right now and until the inevitable happened.

Eventually, sleep took me. When I woke up though, I knew I hadn't gotten enough sleep. I got up anyway and made my way downstairs where I found my dad making breakfast and my mom talking with him. She looked weaker than she did the previous night. I sat next to her and joined the conversation.
"Does David know?" I asked my mom. She didn't look over to me, but nodded. No one said anything else until my dad set out the food. The three of us ate and my dad started talking about how Jon and I were doing. I told them that he would be coming in a few days. Once we were all done, I helped my dad do the dishes while my mom went outside. I asked my dad why she wanted to be outside all the time, to which he responded with a shrug.
"She has a doctor's appointment today, -"
"Can I take her?" I asked.
"Yeah, sure. It'll probably take about 3 hours though." he said
"I want to spend as much time with her as possible." I said
"I'll go with and show you everything, if you want to start taking her regularly. How long are you planning on staying?" he asked
"Until training camp starts unless it...happens before that." I said. My dad nodded. We finished cleaning up and then he started getting all of my mom's things ready to go. While he was doing that, I ran through the shower. I didn't bother drying it, I just pulled it up into a ponytail. About half an hour later, the three of us loaded up in the car and drove to the hospital. I followed behind my parents as we wound our way through the hospital hallways. When we got to the cancer center, my dad checked in and a few minutes later we were called in. A nurse did all the basics for her and got her prepared for the PET scan. A few minutes later, she was wheeled out of the room. My dad and I were left alone in the room for two hours.

I hoped that maybe things were getting better somehow, that she could have longer, anything. Even though my mother and I didn't have the closest relationship, losing her just didn't seem like an option, at least not now. It especially wasn't fair to my dad. I knew he had never stopped loving her and now that things were better for the two, he was losing her. I could see in his face how much it was hurting him. I could also see how much he loved helping her though. It was about the only thing left he could do with her, and he wanted her to be well and happy for as long as possible.

When my mom came back in, the nurse told us that the doctor would be back with us in a few minutes. He came in with and greeted the three of us, and then went over to the computer in the room. A few seconds later, images of my mom's lungs showed up. The doctor explained to us that the cancer had spread even more in her lungs, and even the strongest of chemo treatment couldn't shrink it. He said he was deeply sorry, shook our hands and then left. My dad let out a sigh and we got ready to go.

The drive home was quiet. No one wanted to face that the inevitable would be coming a lot sooner that we thought. My mom sat in the backseat with me and held my hand. When she did reach for my hand, I smiled down at our hands and my eyes started to burn. I thought about all the things my mom and I had done together, like going to get our nails done before my prom, getting ice cream after I failed my driver's test, getting into a paint fight when I re-did my room sophomore year. Thinking about those things made me smile and cry even more.

We arrived back home a little later. I wheeled my mom inside and the three of us ate a quick lunch before going outside. For the rest of the day, all of us sat outside talking and laughing about things from when my brother and I were growing up. I helped my dad make dinner and get my mom hooked up to her oxygen machine she used at night. After my mom had gone to sleep, my dad and I stayed up and went on a walk around our neighborhood. He told me that at the previous week's doctor's appointment, they were told she probably was only looking at two weeks, and so these few days could possibly be her last, especially since it had spread more.

For the next few days, we just went through the normal daily routine until Jon arrived in Pittsburgh. His flight wouldn't be coming until late afternoon though. When he did arrive, I took my mom's car to the airport to pick him up. As soon as he got off of the escalator, I ran to him and wrapped my arms around him. He returned the gesture and hugged me tightly to his chest. He kissed the top of my head and we detached from one another. We went to the luggage carousel and waited for his suitcase, which luckily was one of the first ones to come out.

When we got back to the house, Jon got settled and then we joined my parents who were surprisingly not outside on the deck. They were sitting on the couch looking at old photo albums of my brother and I. Jon had seen me do quite a few embarrassing things so I wasn't going to object to this activity. While we were looking at the pictures, I felt a great deal on nostalgia. All of the happy times with my mom as a kid were flooding through my mind and I kept thinking I wouldn't be able to make many more with her.

When we got done looking at all of the albums, my parents both went to bed. Jon and I went outside and laid a blanket down in the grass. We laid down and looked up at the sky. My head was resting on Jon's shoulder and his arm was around me. I told him all what I was feeling about my mother and everything that was running through my head which resulted in me bawling. He held me tight to his chest and rubbed my arms, telling me it would all be okay in the end, and that we would be together again one day. We stayed outside until I'd stopped crying. When we went to bed, the two of us changed and got into bed. Jon wrapped his arms tightly around me and I quickly fell asleep.

For the next week or so, Jon and I did whatever we could to help and be with my mom. My brother, Benni and Jared would stop by almost everyday for a few hours. Sidney came over a few times too, and him and Jon were actually getting along. The entire was week was really great, and my mom seemed the happiest she had ever been. It wasn't until the end of the week that things got bad though. My dad woke us up in the middle of the night, saying we had to go to the hospital. My mom had woke up and unable to breathe, she was lucky enough to wake my dad up. Jon and I got up quickly, got dressed and headed to the hospital. My dad left with her a few minutes before that. On the way there, I was a wreck. I held Jon's hand so tight that he had to ask me to let up a little. When we arrived, I ran into the emergency room waiting area and found my dad sitting on a couch with his elbows on his knees and his hands on his head. I went over to him and sat with him and leaned up against his shoulder. He reached down and held my hand. Jon held the other. We waited for about an hour before someone came out to us. My dad stood up and talked to the doctor, and I couldn't hear what he was saying, I could only watch. I saw the doctor put his hand on my dad's shoulder and my dad lean against the wall behind him and fall to the ground, crying. Jon immediately pulled me into his chest, where I started crying too.

The memorial and funeral were held 4 days later. All of our close friends and family were there, including Sid, a few of the Pens and a few of the Hawks. The day was sad, but went by pretty smoothly. During the memorial, my brother, father, and I all had speeches about her. Everyone went through the line and said their condolences to us. I wasn't upset anymore that she didn't tell me about the cancer sooner, I was just glad I got to spend these last two weeks with her. She died happy and peacefully, and that was okay with me.

For the next few days, Jon and I stayed in Pittsburgh with my dad to help him take care of some of things. We helped him pack up most of my mom's clothes, sell her car, and just help him through it. The day we left, Sidney came over and said goodbye. Jon and I left for the airport and flew back to Chicago later in the afternoon, Jon and I needed to get ready for training camp.

Notes

So sorry it took me forever to update! I've been really busy for the last few weeks, but I'm back. Sad chapter, but I hope all of you like it!