The Diary of an Unintentional Puck Slut

Feb. 28, 2014

Dear Diary,

Jon and Pat have continued to ‘harass’ me ever since returning from the Olympics. I say ‘harass’ in quotes because I’m starting to enjoy messing with them.

Two days ago, Jon approached me as I was putting my skates on again, but this time he was alone.

“I heard you gave one of the other ice girls in Pittsburgh a black eye,” he asked sitting down next to me. “Is that because she looked at Sid the wrong way?”

Without looking up I simply replied ‘no’ and kept tying my skates.

“I think that’s kind of hot,” he said with a smirk, “when a girl loses her temper.”

I finished my skates and looked up at him, “do you want a black eye?” I asked.

“I do kind of,” he said smiling at my unexpected comment, “but only from you.”

I stared at him for a moment, and I actually considered punching him, but I got up and started to walk to the ice.

“Hey, wait,” he said standing up and grabbing my arm.

I turned to face him and pushed him away. “What.”

He looked at me for a moment, and then grabbed my shoulders (gently) and kissed me.

He pulled back and studied my face. “Still nothing?” he remarked at my emotionless face.

I looked at him for a moment and then jumped on him, wrapped my legs around him (careful not to stab him with my skates) and began making out with him.

He wrapped his arms around me and grabbed onto my hair. I stopped kissing him and pulled my face away from his, my hands on either side of his face.

He put me down, I winked, and walked away. This time he didn’t try to follow me.

The next day I was given my Blackhawks ice girl jacket that matched the other ice girls’. Instead of saying ‘head ice girl’ like it was supposed to, it said ‘Ice Queen.’ I have a feeling Tazer and Kaner had something to do with it because they couldn’t stop laughing as I looked at it. I shrugged and put it on.

Jon wouldn’t move to let me on the ice to skate, so I said “excuse me, I am the Ice Queen, get off my ice.” I almost smiled, but stopped myself.

Shocked, he moved and watched me skate for a few minutes, so I made sure to do every kind of fancy jump and intricate footwork I knew how to do.

I found him waiting for me after practice. “Can you help me with something?” He asked as I took my skates off, still wearing my Ice Queen jacket.

“What.” I asked without looking up.

“I need some help… ironing my shirts,” he paused long enough for me to think ‘ironing his shirts’ was a euphemism.

“Why, it’s not hard,” I replied taking my skate off.

“I got a new iron, I don’t know how to use it,” he was still trying with this ironing thing.

“What do you need help with?”

“I need you to show me how to do it,” he said.

“How to do what?” I asked taking my other skate off.

“How to iron.” He was very persistent, and I was bored (among other things).

“Okay.” I said picking up my skates.

He drove me to his apartment in silence. He tried to start a conversation a few times but I shut him down each time.

By the time we got to his apartment I could tell he was trying to figure out how he was going to do this, so I helped him.

I pushed him against the wall in his entry way and began unbuttoning his shirt. He looked a little shocked at first, but he didn’t stop. We made our way into his room leaving a trail of clothes. He dropped me onto his bed and climbed on top of me and continued to kiss me. I rolled us over and began riding him, looking into his dark eyes. When I came I made sure to scream Sid’s name as loud as I could, just to make Jon feel awkward.

I ended up sleeping there, not wanting to go back to my boring empty apartment. I made sure not to accidently cuddle with him at night, keeping well on my side of the bed.

I woke up in the middle of the night panicking. I felt sick and dizzy, and my heart was racing. Jon insisted he take me to the hospital.

They drew blood and did some other tests and we spent several hours in the waiting room. We both fell asleep, so I’m not sure how long it was, but when the nurse finally called my name for the results it was just starting to get light outside. Jon stayed in the waiting room as I followed the nurse into an examination room.

I sat down on the bed and the doctor pulled a chair up next to me and looked over my charts one more time.

“Ms. Saxon, I don’t really know how to tell you this, but you are over four months pregnant,” The doctor said, trying to be as nice as possible, but I could tell she was tired.

I immediately started to feel sick and light headed as the blood rushed from my face.

“Oh my God,” I said, “no, this is impossible. I was told I had a miscarriage in December, but I hadn’t known I had been pregnant.”

“I’m sorry, but the blood work indicates you are definitely pregnant. Did you have an ultrasound done in December?” She asked.

“No, just some blood work,” I was starting to shake. I wished Sid was there to hold me and talk to the doctor for me.

“Okay, well we are going to do an ultrasound, I just need to get the technician. Can you change into this?” She asked handing me a hospital gown before she left.

I took out my phone and considered texting Sid, but my hands were shaking so much. How could I be pregnant? I got the gown on and sat on the bed waiting for her to come back.

The doctor came back with the technician and they pulled the gown over to expose my stomach.

I watched the screen as she began the ultra sound, “There’s one heart beat…. And there’s the other one,” the technician said smiling.

“You mean mine and the baby’s heart beats?” I asked.

“No, you have twins, I thought you knew,” she looked at the doctor, who shrugged.

“Her birth control medication was messing up the results of the blood test, I couldn’t tell if it was twins or not,” she explained. “You should stop taking that medicine. I’m not sure why you were on it in the first place, it’s very strong and still in the early stages of trials. That’s probably what caused the fainting spells.”

“What?” I was getting more confused. (Did she say twins?!?@?)

“It’s not on the open market yet, you’re doctor must have been participating in the trial. Didn’t she tell you?” I shook my head, unable to speak, and she continued to explain. “There have been several cases of this medicine doing the opposite of what it’s supposed to do and causing women to hyper-ovulate, instead of stopping ovulation.”

“Hyper-ovulate?” I asked.

“Releasing more than one egg at a time, possibly many. I’m not surprised you have twins. We need to work out a timetable for when you possibly got pregnant. According to your blood work, it looks like it was sometime in the end of September or the beginning of October. Is that when you started taking this medicine?” She asked. Again, I nodded unable to respond. “Here is a calendar, I have highlighted the days I think you could have gotten pregnant, I just need you to write on the dates you had unprotected sexual intercourse.”

What? I’m supposed to remember when (and who) I had sex? Luckily I write all of that stuff in my diary, which I keep in my purse. I flipped through the book until I found September and October and began writing in when and who I had sex with.

When I gave it back to the doctor she looked a little confused, “What do these different letters mean?”

I used their initials instead of their real names, “Those are guys I had sex with.”

The doctor exchanged glances with the technician, whom I think had no idea what was going on, and then looked back to me. “It looks like you had sex with these two guys several times during the weeks I highlighted for you, are you sure?”

I nodded, “It’s all in my diary,” I said pointing to the tattered and worn book.

“Umm, okay. I don’t know how to say this, but given these circumstances, there is a chance that your twins may have different fathers.” She said looking at me.

“How?”

“This medication you were on could have caused you to ovulate at different times.” She explained. “You could get a paternity test, but I would suggest waiting a few months so the fetus’s can develop. It’s an invasive procedure, and they are still very small right now.

All of this was a lot to take in, and I just wanted to go home. I need to return in a week so they can do more blood work once my medication wasn’t in my system.

I found Jon sleeping in the waiting room. I told him I had reaction to something I ate and was fine now. He took me home and I tried to sleep.

-

Now I need to tell Sid.

I hadn’t seen him since he returned from the Olympics, though we skyped often.

I decided I needed to tell him in person, and the Pens will be in Chicago tomorrow (today?) for the outdoor game at soldier field.

Why is this happening to me? I don’t even know what’s going on in my life any more.

Sincerely,

Emme

P.S.: It must be karma

_________________________________________________________________________

March, 3 2014

Dear Diary,

First, I had a lot of fun skating at the outdoor game. It was my first time skating in front of the Pens after leaving them, and they all seemed happy to see me. It helped me forget what I had learned that morning.

However, after the game I had to talk to Sid. I had been dreading having to tell him ever since I found out. I wish he had been in that hospital room with me so I wouldn’t have to say it, or try to explain what had happened with my medication.

He came over to my apartment after the game and I made dinner for him.

“Sid,” I said sitting down on the couch next to him after we ate. “I need to talk to you about something.”

“Okay,” he said looking concerned, “what’s wrong?”

I looked down and took his hand, not knowing how to start.

“This is really hard for me to say, especially after what we went through in December. I, um,” I paused, still looking down, unable to look at him. “I don’t really know how to say this, but I am several months pregnant with twins.”

I looked up to see his face melt from concern and confusion into a mixture happiness and (I think) fear. “That’s… did you say twins?” He asked, looking a little concerned again.

I told him what the doctor had said about my medication and how this had apparently happened to several other women.

“Why would your doctor give you that medicine and not tell you it was a trial, or what the risks were?” He seemed more upset about that than the fact that I was going to have twins in four months.

I don’t know,” I said. My head was swimming as I tried to figure out how to tell him the next part.

“There is also a possibility that you are not that father of one or both of them,” I said quietly, looking down.

“What!?” He looked mad, and offended, but mostly mad. “What the hell does that mean?”

“Oh my God don’t get so mad at me! We weren’t even dating when I got pregnant!” I replied defensively.

“We were practically dating, I mean you lived in my house,” he looked at me hard with his jaw set. “Who else did you sleep with?”

I looked down and shook my head.

“Who Emme?!” He moved closer and grabbed my arm.

“I need to know,” he shook my arm a bit.

“It’s someone on the team isn’t it?” He said when I didn’t respond.

I nodded, but couldn’t look at him.

“Oh my God Emme, who was it?” He asked trying to make me look at him.

“I don’t want you to be mad at him,” I replied quietly.

He began naming guys and I shook my head after each name, except some I rolled my eyes (like Duper, why would he want to sleep with me?) until he got to Brandon.

“It’s Suttsy isn’t it,” he said standing up.

“Please don’t do anything to him!” I said trying to stop him.

“Is that why you kept visiting your cat? So you could have sex with him?” He yelled pushing me away. “Do you even have a cat or was that some lame excuse you made up so you could visit him?”

“Yes I have a cat and you would know that if you ever bothered to pay attention to my life!” I pushed him back.

“What do you mean? And why are you getting mad at me? I’m the one that should be pissed off right now.” He said looking hurt.

“I think you should go,” I said holding the door open.

“What the hell Emme?” He said not moving.

“I don’t need this right now. Get the fuck out.” I said pushing him out the door and slamming it.

I immediately started crying and curled up in a ball on the floor.

I realized I should warn Brandon in case Sid tried to murder him.

*What is this about?* he replied.

*Don’t worry about it. Just avoid Sid for a while.*

*That might be difficult, we’re on an 11 day road trip*

Fuck. I hadn’t thought of that.

*can I talk to you before you leave?*

*yeah, I’ll come over tomorrow*

I went to bed and cried myself to sleep.

How could I be pregnant with twins?

And why was Sid so mad?

-

The next morning Brandon came over for breakfast. I almost started crying when I saw him.

“Oh my God what happened to you?” I said as I let him in.

“Your boyfriend,” he replied.

“Do you want some ice or something?” I asked.

“No, but that breakfast smells fantastic,” he said. We sat down and started eating, (pancakes, of course) and I waited until he was done to tell him.

“So how did Sid even find out we’d slept together?” He asked.

“I sort of had to tell him that we had slept together, before he and I started dating, and he just assumed that every time I visited my cat, I was just there to have sex with you. Which is kind of true, but we had stopped that.” I explained.

I paused before continuing. I really didn’t want to have to explain everything again, but he deserved to know.

“I just found out that I didn’t have a miscarriage, and I am actually pregnant. And you might be one of the fathers.”

He looked shocked. “Wait, one of the fathers?”

“I’m having twins.”

He listened quietly as I told him about the medication and all of the weird science behind how that could happen.

“So Sid could be the father of one of them, and I could be the father of the other one? Or both?” He asked, still shocked.

“Yes.” I said, feeling really horrible about everything.

“And when can you find out?”

“I’m not sure, but my doctor said I should wait a while before getting a paternity test. Or just wait until they are born. That’s the safest way to do it.” I explained. I realized I was surprisingly calm given the situation.

“And when are they due?” He asked.

“I have to go back in a week to get more tests done so I’ll know more specifically after that, but sometime in June probably.”

“June?” he asked looking even more shocked. “But that’s so soon.”

“I know. It doesn’t give me much time to get ready, but we don’t have to wait as long to see who the father/fathers are.” I said trying to cheer him up.

It didn’t work. I think he might be broken. I suddenly remembered the night we spent together before I left Pittsburgh. I was worried he was going to fall apart. He has been through so much this year, I don’t know why he puts up with me. We watched Netflix all day and didn’t talk too much. He eventually had to leave for practice, and I kissed him goodbye.

Sid came over the next morning before they left.

“I just wanted to see you before I left,” he said after I reluctantly invited him in.

“What the hell did you do to Brandon?” I asked sternly.

“Oh, did you see that?” He asked looking ashamed. “It’s just a black eye.”

“Sid, it’s not his fault,” I said.

“I know, I was just so upset when you told me I might not be the father,” he said sitting down next to me. “After what we went through in December I was not expecting this, and I still don’t know what to think.”

“We’ll get through this,” I said hugging him. I realized being mad at him wouldn’t help anything.

He had to leave soon after to catch his flight to wherever their next game was.

I don’t know what is happening. And I’m terrified.

I go back to the doctor in two days, so hopefully things will get cleared up by then.

I just want to cry. : (
Sincerely,

Emme

Notes

Feedback and suggestions welcome!

If you are interested in reading the alternate ending/sequel here is the link:
http://www.hockeyfanfiction.com/Story/33618/Redemption-of-a-Puck-Slut/