The Diary of an Unintentional Puck Slut
April 11, 2014
April 7, 2014
I knew I should not have fallen asleep thinking about Sid and Tazer fighting; it could only lead to bad things, and it did.
The next morning I woke up to find Eric sleeping on my shoulder. Somehow the thought of him being the father of my children really turned me on. (I think my brain might be broken). I tried to go back to sleep and not think about it, but it was like a persistent itch.
“Eric!” I said shaking his shoulder, “Eric wake up!”
“What?” He started to sit up, “what’s wrong?”
“I need you to have sex with me,” I got right to the point and started to take my pajamas off.
“What? Are you okay?” He wasn’t awake yet, and it was so cute, and only making me hornier.
“Yes, I’m fine. Sex. Now.” I started kissing him.
“Woah what are you doing?” He pulled back.
“I’m kissing you, now have sex with me,” I demanded and then continued to kiss him.
“You want me to have sex with you?” He asked, “Where are your clothes?”
“OMG, Eric, be quiet and just have sex with me, I know you want to,” I said rubbing his erection through his shorts.
After sex I made him the same buckwheat blueberry and banana pancakes I used to make Sid. (And occasionally Brandon)
He sat at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and watched me make pancakes. “Where did all of that come from this morning?” He asked with a smile.
“I don’t know, somehow waking up next to you made me want to fuck you,” I replied flipping the last pancake.
“Even after what happened last time we had sex?” He asked.
“Eric, I’m already pregnant I can’t get more pregnant-” I stopped because I realized I had said the same thing to his brother before we had sex.
“Also, I kept thinking about Sid and Tazer’s fight last night. That was oddly hot,” I said sitting down next to him.
“Do you want me to get into a fight with your boyfriend for you when we play them tonight? Because you think it’s ‘hot’?” he said making fun of me.
“No, and don’t hit Brandon either,” I replied hitting him lightly.
“Why would I hit Brandon? He’s like my brother.”
“Oh, so Brandon Sutter is actually the fifth Staal brother,” I said with a smile.
“Why does everyone keep thinking there is a fifth Staal brother? Or sister, I’ve heard rumors that we have a sister,” he rolled his eyes.
“Is there a fifth sibling?” I asked jokingly.
“What? No. Unless my parents have been lying to me my whole life.” He continued eating breakfast. “These are fantastic by the way,”
“I made them for Sid and Brandon too. They seem to like them.”
He stopped eating, “so is this your typical after sex ritual? You sleep with a guy and then make him pancakes?”
His tone was borderline reproachful , and it hurt me a little, “hey, I’m pretty sure you came onto me the first time. You know, after dinner at Brandon’s.”
“Yeah, I know. I’ve thought about that night so many times since then. I still don’t know why I did it,” He looked down.
“Thanks,” I said sarcastically.
“That’s not what I meant,” he added laughing, “I’ve never cheated on my wife, or even wanted to, so I don’t know why I did that.”
“Mid life crisis?” I guessed.
“I hope not, I’m only twenty nine, I think that’s a little before ‘mid-life’.”
“Maybe Brandon drugged you,” I said laughing.
He looked at me, “how do you even think of these things?”
We laughed, and then he looked at me again, “maybe that’s why.”
“This.” He pointed to us sitting at his table. “That’s why I slept with you. You’re different.”
I was confused, but in a way I knew what he meant.
He had to leave soon after to catch his flight to Pittsburgh.
That night I anxiously watched their game. I was hoping no one would get into any fights over me, and they didn’t, but it was still a good game.
Eric got back the next morning. I was still asleep, and he crawled into bed with me.
The rest of the week continued like this, pancakes and sex.
I was starting to get used to waking up next to him.
“Eric,” I said shaking him awake as his alarm went off, “Eric wake up.”
He sat up and looked at me, “good morning beautiful,” he said rubbing my stomach.
“I had a dream about you last night,” I said looking up at him.
“Oh really?” He replied giving me a look.
“Not that kind of dream,” I said hitting his hand away, “We were in either a prison or an ikea factory, I’m not sure, but we were looking at cribs together.”
His face got sad, “oh,” he looked down.
“What’s wrong?” I asked rubbing his hair.
“It’s nothing, it’s just that,” He paused, “looking at cribs and stuff, that’s something I’ll never get to do with you.”
“No, but you and your wife have already done that, because you have children, remember?” I said. “They’ll be back tomorrow, actually.”
“Yeah, but it’s different this time. You said one of them is a girl, right?” I nodded my head, “I’ve never had a girl, and I grew up with three brothers. I don’t know, just the thought of getting to dress her up in pink dresses and play dolls, stuff like that, that I’ll probably never get to do.”
“Eric, first of all this is very circumstantial. You may be the father of one or both of my twins, and even if you were, when would you get to do all of that stuff? And, if you want a little girl so much, why don’t you and your wife have one?” I reminded him, “And don’t you have a niece now?”
“I know, but I-” I cut him off before he could complain any more.
“I don’t want to talk about this. It’s going to be complicated however it turns out.” I sighed, “the best outcome would be if Sid was the father of both of them.”
It’s been an interesting, but fun week.
I’m glad Eric and I had that time together to talk about stuff, but I’m also happy his wife is back. I think he was getting a little too attached to me and the idea of having a daughter. Maybe once he and his own children are together again he’ll forget about pink dresses and playing dolls.
Fuck. Now I’m looking forward to pink dresses and playing dolls.
P.S.: Wait, isn’t that a good thing?
April 11, 2014
Jeffy and I finally went figure skating together. It was better than I thought.
“I’m a little rusty, I haven’t done this in a while,” he said as we got on the ice.
He was holding my hand, not so he wouldn’t fall, but so I wouldn’t. He kept saying how worried he was that I would fall and hurt the twins.
“Jeffy, you are so adorable. I’ll be fine,” I said as we skated to center ice.
“But you’re seven month pregnant, if you fell on your stomach that would be really bad.”
“When have you ever fallen on your stomach and not tried to stop yourself with your arms or legs?” I asked him sarcastically. “Besides, I’m not going that fast or doing anything that might make me fall.”
“I’m just worried, sorry.” He said smiling with that super cute dimple.
We skated for a bit, and I got him to do some jumps and spins.
“You are still pretty good, why were you embarrassed?” I asked as we skated over to the bench.
“I don’t know, I just haven’t done it in a while, and I didn’t want to look bad in front of you,” he said looking down, embarrassed, and super cute.
“Why? You don’t need to worry about what I think. Besides, it doesn’t matter if you’re bad at figure skating, you’re still a really good hockey player,” I said leaning on his arm a bit.
“Oh, you think I’m good at hockey?” He asked, obviously getting embarrassed.
“I’m not really an expert, but I think you have to be pretty good to play in the NHL,” I replied sarcastically, and he laughed. (So adorable!)
I talked him into letting me make him dinner after. We went to the grocery store, because he was worried he didn’t have any food at his place.
Jeff was actually very helpful in the kitchen (is there anything he isn’t good at?). We somehow got to talking about how I ended up pregnant, and I had to tell him about my medicine.
“That really sucks. What has your old doctor said about it?” He asked.
“Nothing, I haven’t talked to her.”
“You could sue her for malpractice.”
“I know, I probably should,” I sighed and sat down at the table next to him.
“My sister is a lawyer if you wanted to talk to her about it.”
“Really? That is very cool. I might need to talk to her.”
“So what exactly is going on between you and Brandon?” he asked, looking cute and adorable.
“Honestly? I don’t know. We’re definitely more than friends, I’m just not sure how much more,” I paused. I’m not really sure why I was being so open with Jeff. I think it’s because he’s so cute and innocent looking. “I’ve kind of had feelings for him for a while. When I found out he and Marie weren’t together any more I remember feeling disappointed that Sid and I had just started dating. I tried not to think about it, but it became more obvious that he felt the same way. And now we have this, which complicates things even more,” I added pointing to my stomach.
“When will you find out who the father is?”
“I’m not sure, I was going to wait until they were born, because it’s much easier that way, but something has come to my attention recently that made me change my mind.” I wasn’t sure if I wanted to tell him about Eric possibly being the father.
“Does it have to do with Eric?” He asked, still looking ridiculously cute.
“How did you know?” Did I accidently say it out loud?
“He told me.” He paused to take a sip of milk (yup, Jeff Skinner still drinks milk at dinner). “I guessed what had happened when we visited Brandon in October. He didn’t want to talk about it then, but when Brandon told us you were pregnant last month Eric realized he might be the father.”
I thought about it for a minute. “Where exactly did you and Brandon go that night? And why did you leave Eric and I alone, you must have known what was going to happen?”
Jeff laughed and then blushed, “Brandon was so paranoid. We went to the grocery store and he just paced up and down the aisles with a grocery cart picking up random things that he didn’t need. He kept talking about you, or what you and Eric might be up to. A couple of times he almost went home to see if anything was even happening, but I stopped him. Mostly because he hadn’t paid for his groceries, which he ended up putting them all back in the same frantic matter he had acquired them, but also because I was pretty sure he would have done something he would regret if he found you and Eric together.” He paused and then laughed some more, “luckily the store was pretty empty, but he still got some strange looks.”
I was a little startled. I didn’t realize how much that had affected him, though the thought of him franticly running through a grocery store with Jeffy was hilarious.
“But why did you leave after dinner? I still don’t get why he would do that if he knew that Eric and I were probably going to have sex if you left.”
“Oh, um we actually did need something from the store, I don’t remember what, but we never got it. Also Brandon was pretty close to punching Eric for the way he was talking to you, and whatever was happening under the table.” Jeff looked really embarrassed, but I just laughed, remembering how I had tried (and failed) to hide my moans by eating cake.
“That was an interesting night,” I recalled, still smiling. “Do I regret it? A little, but I would have gotten pregnant anyway. I mean, I was sleeping with Brandon more than I was with Sid, and, umm…”
I trailed off, lost in thought. If I had sex with Brandon more than Sid, wouldn’t his chances of being the father(s) be higher?
“I need to get a paternity test.” I said standing up. “I need to make an appointment. Right now.” I took out my phone and called my doctor.
“They’re probably closed,” Jeff said, reminding me that was past normal business hours.
“Damn, they are. But I need to know!” I got up and started pacing. I would need their DNA somehow, and that would take a while to get. At least I could get Eric’s DNA easily.
“Why don’t you just call them in the morning when they open?” Jeff suggested, trying to calm me down. “And until then, why don’t we watch a movie?”
“You’re right,” I said sitting down. “At least it’s not the weekend; I only have to wait until tomorrow to make an appointment.”
I was able to get an appointment for Friday. Eric offered to come with me and I gladly accepted.
“I’m just hesitant to having needles stuck into my stomach; not because I’m scared of needles, but because of the risk of miscarriage,” I said to the doctor.
“That may not be necessary,” he replied. “We can get the babies’ DNA from your blood, and at your stage of pregnancy we should be able to get enough for positive results.”
“Seriously?” I was shocked. Was it really that easy?
“Yes, we can draw the blood today if you want. We will need to get samples of the potential father’s DNA as well, but that can be done whenever it is convenient for them.”
“I only brought one with me, the other, um, two are in Pittsburgh,” I explained, looking down.
“That’s okay, we can have their DNA sent here from any hospital. They just need to submit it to the lab and they can have it here overnight. It’s actually quite a simple procedure,” he said getting ready to draw my blood.
I have talked to both Sid and Brandon. They were in Minnesota for a game, but were able to get their DNA sent to the lab.
Now I just have to wait.
This is going to be very hard.
At least I have Jeffy to distract me.
Feedback and suggestions are always welcome!