The Diary of an Unintentional Puck Slut
April 19, 2014
April 13, 2014
Today is the end of the regular season and the playoff start on Wednesday.
Jeff has done an excellent job keeping me distracted. He got in touch with his sister the lawyer and she looked into my old doctor.
It turns out she ran away to Venezuela after I had my ‘miscarriage’ in December. There were several other people looking for her too, and the company that was running the trial had mysteriously shut down.
She said she would keep looking into it, but with my doctor no longer in the country there wasn’t much she could do about it.
Jeff and I have gone skating several times, though I mostly just watch him skate now.
Being pregnant sucks.
I get to find out who my baby daddy(s) is/are tomorrow!
April 14, 2014
I did not sleep much last night. I was so nervous to get the results of the paternity test today. I spent all morning pacing and Eric tried to calm me down.
I sat by the window watching for the mailman. He was usually there around 1:30 so at 1:20 I went outside and waited for him. It was nice out and I could use some sunshine, so I thought why not?
The mailman was fifteen minutes late, but when he got there I grabbed all of our mail from him and ran back inside.
Mrs. Staal knew I was waiting for a letter so she didn’t question my strange actions, however she didn’t know what exactly I was expecting.
I tore the letter open and examined to results.
They didn’t make any sense. There was a bunch of sciencey stuff and then at the bottom it said: ‘positive match for subjects A and B, negative match for subject C’
I stared in shock for a couple minutes.
“What the fuck does this mean?!?” I screamed as I ran through their house. Mrs. Staal scolded me for using bad language in front of their children, but I didn’t care.
I locked myself in my bedroom and tried to calm down. There was obviously a mistake of some kind and somewhere they would tell me who A, B, and C were.
I called Eric in tears. He was at practice and didn’t answer his phone, so I called Brandon.
Brandon also did not answer, so I hesitantly called Sid.
“What’s wrong?” he asked after I sobbed into the phone.
“The paternity test results, I got them in the mail today but I don’t know what it means!” I managed to explain in between sobs.
“Okay, calm down Emme. What exactly does it say?”
I told him about subject A, B, and C.
“And your doctor never told you who the letters stood for?” He asked after a minute of silence.
“No, and he never told me to make an appointment to go over the results with him.”
“Why don’t you call your doctor; maybe there is more to the results and you only got half of it?”
“Okay, I will call my doctor. And Sid?”
“I hope you know that I still care about you, no matter what the results say.”
He was quiet for a minute. “Emme, you broke my heart. I don’t think we’ll ever be more than just friends, if that.”
“I understand. I’ll call you back when I know the results better.”
I called my doctor and made an appointment for Wednesday, the earliest he was available.
April 19, 2014
I am officially mad at Sidney Fucking Crosby!
I called Brandon on Tuesday to talk to him about getting the results.
However when I told him about the subject A, B, and C thing he reacted very differently from Sid.
“Really?” He sounded happy, but why?
“Yeah, it says A and B were matches but C was not.”
“Emme do you know what this means?” He sounded really excited now.
“No.” I was getting annoyed. Did he know something I didn’t?
“Eric was ‘A’ because he gave his DNA first when he was with you at the doctors, and Sid and I were ‘B’ and ‘C’ because we were later. And I was ‘B’ because I went first.”
I was quiet as I processed what he was telling me.
“So, Sid knew that, but pretended not to because he was ‘C’ and realized he wasn’t the father?”
“Yeah, that’s kind of douchey of him, but I guess he was just shocked.”
“Are you sure you were ‘B’?”
“Yes, I saw her write it on the bag, and she even joked about how it fit perfectly because I was ‘B’ for Brandon, and Sid was ‘C’ for Crosby.”
“And how did you know Eric was ‘A’?”
“The nurse didn’t say that it was Eric, but she said the first sample had already been taking because he was with you at the doctor, and I’m assuming that was Eric.”
“Yeah, he was there. Why didn’t my doctor tell me this?” I asked.
“I don’t know. But I’m pretty excited; I’m going to be a dad!”
“Yay! I’m going to be a mom!” I joked. “That’s really weird that it ended up being two separate fathers. The odds of that happening were pretty low.”
“Yeah, but that makes it more interesting,” he paused. “What are we going to do about Eric?”
“I have to tell him, obviously. He’ll be home soon. I wish you were here,” thinking about our weird little family was starting to make me emotional.
“I’m really busy with the playoffs now, but you can visit me whenever.”
“Okay. I will call you after my doctor’s appointment tomorrow. Eric will be home soon and I need to calm down before telling him.”
I somehow fell asleep while waiting for Eric to return from practice.
When he came to my room to wake me up for dinner I was still holding the results.
“Is that it?” He asked sitting on the edge of my bed.
“Yeah,” I handed it to him. “Did she tell you that you were ‘A’ when they took your blood?”
“Yeah, but they don’t take blood for DNA testing, they just swab the inside of your cheek,” he explained, and then read the results.
He was quiet for a few minutes. “So I am one of the fathers,” he said laughing tiredly, “but it doesn’t say which one.”
“No, but I’m going to the doctor tomorrow, maybe he can tell me which one of you is the father of the girl and the boy.”
“So which one was ‘B’?” he asked handing the results back to me.
“Brandon,” I involuntarily smiled.
“You seem happy about that.”
“I am. Something he said a while ago really stuck with me. He said ‘there’s no one I would have rather accidently gotten pregnant than you.’ And I realized I felt the same way. I was perfectly okay with getting knocked up by Brandon Sutter.” I looked up at Eric and smiled. “And you too, of course, because now we know one of them will be blonde.”
“Or ginger,” he joked. “We should probably go downstairs for dinner before my wife gets suspicious.”
Eric came to the doctor’s with me and the nurse accidently called me Mrs. Staal.
“I’m sorry about the slip up Ms. Saxon,” the doctor said as he sat next to me, “I guess she just assumed you were his wife because you’re having a baby with him.”
“So he is one of the fathers?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said looking over the results. “The father of the girl, it looks like. I’m sorry it wasn’t more clear, but normally paternity tests are for one baby, not two babies with two different fathers. You’re situation is most unique.”
“So Brandon is the father of the boy?” I asked smiling.
“Subject ‘B’? Yes, but we’ll know for certain when they’re born. Which reminds me,” he said looking at my charts, “we need to set a date for your c-section. They should both reach forty weeks by July 12.”
“July? I was told mid-June?” I was shocked.
“No, it looks like one twin will be ready a little earlier than that, but not likely in June.” He looked up and realized both Eric and I were very confused. “We’ll know more as that time comes closer. Will you be having them here?”
I hadn’t thought of that, and didn’t respond immediately.
“No, we’re going back to Canada for the summer,” Eric replied. I was surprised. Was I going to Canada with him? Or did he mean with Brandon?
“That’s fine, just make sure you see your doctor in Canada as soon as you return, which I hope is soon. You don’t want to be traveling in the last few weeks of your pregnancy.” He explained.
“Why?” I asked.
He looked surprised, “in case you go into labor, you don’t want to do that on an airplane.”
Going into labor on an airplane? I thought I was having a c-section. I missed everything he said after that, and we left soon. Eric took me home and then left for practice.
I decided to Skype with Brandon this time, so I could see him. I wish I could have seen him when I was giving him the results.
“Guess what! You’re having a boy!” I said when he answered.
“Really? That’s amazing.” He looked like he was going to cry.
“Eric is pretty thrilled about having a girl. We talked about it a while ago and he was excited about pink dresses and dolls, so I’m happy it worked out that way.”
He smiled, “You should visit me soon.”
“I know, we have a lot to talk about.” I thought for a minute, “Do you want me to move in with you for the rest of the season? I don’t have any reason to stay here anymore, and I really miss you.”
“Yeah, that would be convenient,” he replied smiling. “Then you could be with your cat again.”
“I do miss Pancake,” I added laughing.
“I should probably tell my parents.”
“That’s going to be awkward,” I replied, realizing I’d have to tell my mom too.
He shrugged, “I think they’ll be okay with it. And my sister really likes you.”
“Are you going to tell them that one of the babies is actually Eric’s? Because I don’t know if he wants anyone knowing about that.”
“You mean I should say they’re both mine?”
“I don’t know, I still need to talk to him about it.”
Brandon and I talked about names and stuff until Eric got home, and then we talked about the more complicated things.
Eric agreed that we should say they were both Brandon’s, even though legally the girl will be Eric’s. He said it would probably ruin his marriage if his wife found out he had an illegitimate child.
I am moving to Brandon’s tomorrow, I have packed all of my stuff for the fourth time and again, it didn’t take that long. Although I do have a lot more clothes now, my old clothes don’t fit anymore.
Still very confused, but I’m happy I’ll be with Brandon.
Maybe I’m getting ahead of things, but I even looked into houses in the Pittsburgh area.
I’m so excited! Things have turned out pretty well, regarding the paternity test, though Sid could have been a bit nicer about it.
Feedback and suggestions welcome!