The Diary of an Unintentional Puck Slut

May 17, 2014

Dear Diary,

The day after I returned from New Hampshire Brandon told me we were getting an unexpected houseguest.

“Emme, my brother is coming to visit for a while,” he said at breakfast.

“Why?” We’re going home in a few weeks, why is he visiting? This seems suspicious.

“He wants to see the playoffs, and this is probably my last season with Pittsburgh, and it might be my last playoffs chance in a few years, depending on where I go.” I could tell there was something he wasn’t saying.

“Okay,” I responded carefully, “When will he be here?”

“Um, this afternoon,” he replied and quickly continued eating, as if I wouldn’t hit him just because he was eating.

But I did. “Brandon Sutter!” I said smacking his arm. “You couldn’t give me a head’s up? I need to, like, clean and stuff.”

“I’m sorry, he just called me last night, it was sort of last minute.”

“Wait, when are you leaving for your game?”

“In a couple of hours, and then we’ll be back in two days,” he explained quickly, again worried that I would be mad.

“So he’ll be here when you’re not?” I was confused.

“Yes, is that a problem?” He asked looking up from his pancakes.

“No, not really, it’s just kind of weird. I mean, what am I supposed to do with him?”

Brandon laughed, “Emme, he’s a grownup he can take care of himself. I don’t know, you guys will find stuff to do; he’s fun, don’t worry about it.”

I hesitantly smiled. The one time I’d met his brother he’d seemed nice, though it was under rather odd circumstances.

“So you want me to pick him up from the airport?” I asked him.

“Yeah, if you’re feeling up to it.”

I spent the rest of the morning cleaning and making up the guest bedroom until Brandon had to leave.

After he left I started my usual baking frenzy that happened every away game. I baked banana bread and oatmeal raisin cookies, which finished just in time for me to leave to pick up Mark.

Mark is taller than I remembered. He’s taller than Brandon, and Brandon is almost a foot taller than me, so I felt really short. Short and fat, something he pointed out when he first saw me at the airport.

“Wow, Brandon was not lying about you being prego with twins,” he said as he leaned over to give me a hug.

He chatted with me the entire walk to my car, and then he laughed at the fact that I drove a VW bug.

“Wait, this isn’t the same one Sid got you, is it?” he asked putting his suitcase in the trunk.

I sighed. “Yes, it is.”

When we got to Brandon’s, Mark was super excited that I had baked cookies.

“And you’re Brandon’s older brother?” I asked, implying that he was acting like a kid.

“Yup, two years older,” he replied, and went back to eating cookies.

“That’s awesome. I’m going to sleep, wake me up when the game is on.” Sleeping in the middle of the day was normal for me now, but I was especially tired after dealing with Mark.

He woke me up at ten minutes before seven by gently knocking on my door and quietly saying my name over and over again.

“Did you sleep well?” He asked as I turned on the tv and found the right channel.

“As well as you can sleep with two energetic babies inside of you.”

“Are they like, kicking and stuff?” he asked.

I nodded, “Yes, and it’s not cute anymore.”

“Can I feel it?” He asked hesitantly.

“Sure,” I put his hand on my stomach near where they were moving.

He looked at my stomach for a minute, feeling them kick. “That’s so weird that my niece and nephew are inside of you.”

I laughed, he was being so cute about it. “Actually, it’s just your nephew.”

“Wait, what?” he looked so confused.

“Oh, is that what Brandon told you? Then yes, you’re niece and nephew.” Oops.

“What are you talking about?”

“The girl isn’t Brandon’s,” I said, looking down at my lap, ashamed and embarrassed.

He was quiet for a minute, and then started laughing, “Mom’s not going to like this, she was so excited to have a granddaughter.”

“No, we’re still going to pretend it’s Brandon’s because her real father is, um, married.”

He looked shocked, “It’s not Sid’s? Whose is it? Is it someone else on the team?”

“I really shouldn’t be telling you this, but her father is Eric Staal.”

“Brandon’s old teammate?” He laughed, “That’s crazy, how did that even happen?”

“It’s a long story, I don’t want to talk about it. Can we just watch the game?”

We watched the rest of the game in near silence. I could tell he had questions, and he kept looking at me, but I just smiled and shook my head.

After the game ended I turned to him and smiled. “It was nice to watch a game with someone who actually knows hockey. When I watch with my friend Caeleigh (Geno’s girlfriend) we never know what’s happening. We’re like ‘oh look, there’s the puck, and a thing happened.’ You’d think after dating Sid I’d be an expert or something, but nope.”

He laughed, “I’m glad I could be helpful.” He paused, “So, you got pregnant while dating Sid, but neither of them is with him? How did that happen?”

“I don’t know, I was going through a lot of stuff and things happened.”

“‘Things happened?’ Things like sleeping with my brother and Eric Staal?” He asked, in a surprised but not condescending tone.

“Among others, yes, but that’s over now. I’m very happy with Brandon now, and I shouldn’t have even bothered with Sid, I was not ready for that,” I replied.

“Wait, there were others?” he seemed very intrigued now.

“Are you good at keeping secrets? Because I’ve already told you too much, so I might as well tell you the rest. James Neal and Beau Bennet. And then in Chicago I slept with Jonathan Toews, and in Carolina, um, both of the Staals.” I realized it was quite a list, and I felt really bad about it, but at the same time remembering all of the times I’d had sex was… starting to get to me.

“So, you like to have fun,” he said with a smirk. “And Brandon knows about all of this?”

I realized I may not have told him about everything that happened in Chicago and Carolina, “Yeah, he knows about most of it.”

“Both of the Staals, eh?” he asked, leaning a little bit closer. “So you have a thing for brothers or something.”

I rolled my eyes and looked up at him, smiling, “Oh my God Mark, are you trying to sleep with your brother’s pregnant girlfriend?”

“What? No,” he leaned back, realizing how close he was. “Though I have never had sex with a pregnant chick before.”

“Good, let’s keep it that way,” I got up and walked to the kitchen to get some water, but he followed me. “You and Brandon don’t even really look that much alike, why would I want to have sex with you?”

“Can you even have sex while pregnant? I mean, at your stage, and with twins?” He asked leaning on the counter next to me.

“Yes, I can, and we do. And it’s fantastic.” I left him in the kitchen with a weird smile on his face and went to bed.

-

I made him pancakes the next morning and he loved them. Everyone does (I think).

“These are amazing,” he said grabbing another pancake. “I should babysit you more often.”

I stopped eating and looked at him. “Babysit me?”

“Oh, umm,” he looked back at his plate and played with the maple syrup. “Yeah, Brandon didn’t want you here alone too much, or going to the games alone anymore, so he asked me to visit for a while.”

What? Why do I need to be watched like some kid?

I reached for my phone to call Brandon, but Mark stopped me. “Don’t be mad at him, he’s just trying to look out for you.”

My hand was on my phone, and his hand was on top of mine. We stayed like that for an awkward moment until we both realized it.

We finished breakfast in silence, though he tried to start a conversation a couple of times.

“Why don’t we do something fun today?” He asked as he helped me with the dishes. “Brandon won’t be back for two more days, so we might as well do something interesting.”

“Like what?” I asked, still a little sad.

“I don’t know, you’re a girl, you must like shopping or something, we could go to the mall.”

I sighed, “Okay, but you’re driving. I don’t feel like driving.”

I immediately started to cheer up as soon as he tried to get into my little car. It was actually quite hilarious.

Shopping was fun, and then we got lunch, and went to the movies to see the new X-Men movie (it was really good btw) and then we got dinner together.

Our waitress thought we were together, and Mark went along with it because she was kind of a stuck up snob. He held my hand and said cute things, and when our waitress came back he said something to her about me being pregnant with another man’s child, well two other men’s children. I was laughing the whole time, but our waitress looked pretty freaked out.

“That would be so weird,” I said to him after she left, “Dating a girl who was pregnant with another man’s child.”

“It’s not that strange,” He said, and when I gave him a strange look he explained, “For tonight I’m your date. And isn’t Brandon dating you, and you’re pregnant with another guy?”

“Yeah, I guess, but it’s different,” I said, starting to look sad again.

“Are you still upset that Brandon wanted me to look after you while he was gone?” he asked leaning closer.

“A little, but I don’t know if I’m angry or if I think it’s cute that he’s worried about me,” I replied looking back up at him.

“Of course he’s worried about you, being all alone and pregnant. When he’s away on road trips he says that’s all he thinks about; if you fell or someone tried to mug you or if you got hurt somehow,” He paused, “he cares about you Emme.”

“I know, I just feel like I’m not independent anymore,” I replied as our waitress brought our food over.

The rest of dinner he tried to distract me, but I somehow ended up getting angrier at Brandon.

And just like the last time I was angry at Brandon, I did something stupid.

Really stupid.

I began playing along with Mark’s joke on our waitress, maybe a little too much. She came over to refill my water, and I grabbed his head and pulled him down to kiss him and jokingly said “I don’t care that I’m pregnant with your brother’s child, kiss me!”

And we awkwardly kissed until she went away (not like making out, just kissing). We giggled as we saw her gossiping with another waitress about how weird we were.

Then we decided to split dessert, an ice cream sundae. While he was ordering Mark asked if it came with chocolate sauce.

But before our waitress could answer, he turned to me and looked into my eyes, “Remember that time that I covered you with chocolate sauce and licked it off?”

I was trying so hard not to laugh, “How could I forget it? It was too hot and it burned my nipples.”

Then Mark said something about how he wanted to lick whipped cream off my tits, and turned back to our waitress (who was not even hiding how disgusted she was) and asked if we could have extra whipped cream, “But could we have it separately, not on the ice cream?”

We ate our dessert slowly, feeding each other one bite at a time, and having fun with the whipped cream. It was totally worth it just to see the looks people were giving us, and I was actually having fun.

I made sure to leave a huge tip for our waitress to make up for our behavior.

By the time I got home I was so tired and I was also on a ‘laughing high’ from whatever endorphins that are released when you laugh.

Mark carried me into the house and laid me on the couch. I grabbed onto his shirt and pulled him down on top of/next to me.

“Mark, I had a lot of fun today, especially tonight,” I said, still laughing as I remembered the waitress’s face.

“That part about the chocolate sauce burning your nipples was genius,” he said sitting up and smiling.

“I wonder if we have any whipped cream,” I said and suddenly got up and ran to the kitchen.

“Wait, why?” He asked, somewhat concerned.

I came back to the living room with a can of whipped cream.

“What are you doing with that?” he asked as I started to lift up my shirt.

“Relax,” I said shaking it, “I’m just drawing a smiley face on my stomach.”

He looked relieved, “Why, what did you think I was going to do?” I asked, even though I knew.

“Um, I thought you were going to put it on your breasts.” He said, looking slightly embarrassed.

I stared at him, and then took my shirt the rest of the way off. I unclasped my bra, and when he didn’t stop me, I took it off, tilted the whipped cream, and sprayed some on my nipples.

It was cold, I hadn’t thought of that.

“Oh my God it’s cold get it off!” I said rushing toward him.

I hadn’t actually intended for him to use his mouth, but he did. And then I completely lost control. We started on the couch, and then he picked me up and carried me towards the bedroom (guest bedroom) and I wrapped my legs around him.

He set me on the edge of the bed face down on all fours and stood behind me. He soon entered me from behind, muttering something to himself about me already being pregnant and not needing to wear a condom. His hands wandered expertly from between my legs to my breasts, showing that he had definitely done this before, many times. Maybe not with a pregnant girl, but that didn’t really make a difference, not to him at least.

-

The next morning I made him breakfast and stared at him across the table, not wanting to talk first.

“What?” He finally said, looking up at me.

“Not a word to Brandon, or anyone, of what happened last night, okay?” I said sternly.

“Of course not,” he said, suddenly looking ashamed, “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s my fault, and I should have stopped you. Why do I do this when I’m upset with Brandon? We’re not going to last long if this is how I deal with things.”

“What do you mean?” He looked up from his pancakes.

I sighed and told him why I slept with Beau back in like November.

“And, actually that’s why I got sent to Chicago in January, I guess Mario somehow heard a rumor about what’d happened with Beau and wanted to send me away.”

“How did he hear about it?” He asked.

“I don’t know, I just assumed Beau told someone and it somehow got around to Mario. I don’t really care, I’m getting out of here soon.”

“That’s good, it must be tough for you guys around here. I feel like everyone loves Sid, and you’re the girl who broke his heart. You guys should go somewhere that hate’s the Pens.”

“He’s had an unofficial offer from the Flyers, they hate Pittsburgh,” I said laughing.

“Really? He’s already hearing from other teams?” Mark asked surprised.

“Yeah, he’s had offers from the San Jose Sharks, Phoenix Coyotes, Philadelphia Flyers, Vancouver Canucks (what is a Canuck anyway?), one of the Florida teams, and your uncle Darryl kindly offered him a place on the L.A. Kings.”

Mark laughed, “That’s funny, I didn’t know that. And a Canuck is slang for a French Canadian.”

“I didn’t know that, why would they want their team named that?” I laughed. “Based on location, I’ve told him I want to live somewhere warm, but not Arizona, too warm, and not Florida (alligators and humidity, eww). So that narrows it down to California,” I said, a little embarrassed at my trivial reasoning.

“Do you actually know anything about any of those teams?” he said laughing.

“No, but it has not been confirmed that Ray Shero will not decide to trade Brandon right before his contract expires. If that does happen, who knows where we’ll go, and I don’t want to fall in love with the idea of moving to California or wherever,” I explained.

“I understand. When I was really young my dad played for the Islanders so we lived in New York, and then he got traded to the Blackhawks so we lived in Chicago for a while.”

“I didn’t know that,” I said looking up at him across the table.

-

He spent the rest of the day educating me on all the different teams interested in Brandon and anything else I might need to know about hockey.

That night we watched the Pen’s second away game together. I think he and I are defiantly becoming friends.

When Brandon returned the next day he was surprised to see how well we were getting along. I thought it would be awkward, seeing him after sleeping with his brother, but it wasn’t. As long as he didn’t find out we would be okay.

I realize that I said the same thing about Sid when Brandon and I were sleeping together.

Maybe I should just tell him?

Though I should wait until after Mark isn’t here anymore; I don’t want Brandon getting distracted from the playoffs because he’s worried that I might be sleeping with his brother while he’s gone.

I don’t know, we’ll see.


Sincerely,

Emme

_______________________________________________________________________

May 22, 2014

Dear Diary,

Mark and I went to both of the Pens games together. It was really fun; I hadn’t gone to a game in a while, and when I did I usually sat with the wags. I feel like I’m no longer welcome in the box with the wags, so we sat in the stands like normal people.

Both games were really great, but they didn’t win game four, so Brandon had to leave for two more games.

This time Mark and I decided to do something innocent, like going to the zoo.

I told him what happened last time I went to the zoo last fall with Caeleigh, Geno, and Nealsy.

He laughed, “I promise I won’t try to have sex with you again.”

“You were awfully calm around Brandon for having just slept with his pregnant girlfriend,” I looked at him semi-accusingly, “why do I get the feeling this has happened before?”

He suddenly blushed, “What? No, I’ve never slept with his pregnant girlfriend before.”

I hit his arm, “That’s not what I meant.”

He sighed, and we sat down on a bench in front of the tiger exhibit. “Okay, so maybe once, or twice, I don’t remember, I might have slept with Marie. And this other girl he dated before her.”

“Mark Sutter!” I hit him a bit harder this time. “Sleeping with your younger brother’s girlfriends is not okay!”

“I know, it’s a really bad habit.”

“A bad habit? I think it’s a little more than that. Do you guys have some weird unresolved issue or something?”

“I don’t know, it’s complicated…”

“Did he steal your girlfriend or something?” I joked, but he was quiet. “He did, didn’t he?”

“It was a long time ago. When it was clear that I didn’t have a career in the NHL and he did, my girlfriend left me for him,” He said with a sigh. “And she was my first real girlfriend, so at the time it really hurt.”

“That is so sad!” I wrapped my arms around him. “Wait, this wasn’t Marie, was it?”

“No, Marie came a few years later. And I didn’t know she was cheating on him, not like that at least. But I guess he was also seeing other people too,” he smiled and nudged my arm.

“Hey, sometimes things are just meant to be,” I joked, but I kind of meant it. “So they didn’t last very long?”

“Brandon and Stacy? No, she was just a common puck bunny, and he met Marie soon after so it didn’t last. I’m not really mad at him though, it wasn’t his fault, but at the time I was kind of pissed.”

“So you slept with Marie?”

“That occurred more recently, and actually it happened a few times,” He said, looking more ashamed.

“And did Brandon know about it?”

“Yeah, at least the first time it happened, and he didn’t even seem that mad. I think things weren’t going well the past few years for them; I’m not really sure why he stayed with her.”

“Wait, he was okay with it?” I was shocked.

“Yeah, Brandon’s pretty chill, though I expected him to be mad a little. If he was he didn’t say anything.”

That kind of stuck with me the rest of Brandon’s trip. Maybe I could tell him about it after all.

When he gets back tomorrow, maybe I will talk to him about what happened.

I don’t know, we’ll see.

Sincerely,

Emme

Notes

Kind of a long chapter, but it was fun to write.

Feedback and suggestions always welcome!