May 6, 2014

Dear Diary,

Ever since Sid told me Brandon probably wasn't going to continue playing for the Penguins I have been trying to figure out where he should play. I don't know anything about the teams, so I have based my choices on location.

"If you played for the Aves we could go skiing. Or get high, marijuana is legal in Colorado now."

"I'm sorry, you want to get high?" He asked laughing.

"No, but I'm just saying. And Colorado is pretty. Or New York, I wouldn't mind living there."

"Islanders, Rangers, or Sabres?" He asked.

"I didn't know there were three New York teams," I replied, embarrassed at my lack of knowledge of NHL teams. "What about Boston? And that's pretty close to my family."

"The Bruins already have a lot of really nice players, but Boston is a nice city. It would be nice to play in Canada somewhere," he said thoughtfully.

“What if you could play for Carolina again?” I asked him. “That would be convenient.”

He laughed, “I’d love that, I really liked playing there. And we’d be near Eric, so he could see his daughter.”

“That would be perfect. Any chance the Canes will take you back?” I asked hopefully.

He shook his head, “no probably not. Now that they have Jordan Staal I would still be in the bottom six.”

“The what?”

“The bottom six is the third and fourth lines, and the top six is the first and second lines,” he explained. “Sid didn’t try to teach you everything about hockey?”

“No, he did, or he tried to, but I don’t remember anything,” I laughed. “So you want to go to a team that you could play on the second or first line?”

“Yeah, though I’d probably only be on the second line,” he laughed. “You really don’t know much about hockey do you?”

“You’d think I would, but tended to space out whenever Sid started talking about it.”

“This summer my brother and I will teach you everything you need to know about hockey,” he said smiling.

“Uh oh, that sounds like a lot of work.”

“No, my whole family is into hockey. My dad and my uncles all played in the NHL and my dad owns the Red Deer Rebels.”

“Red Deer Rebels?” I asked.

“Yeah, I used to play for them, a long time ago,” he laughed, “and my dad was our coach.”

“That’s so cute,” I said hugging him. “I thought your family had a farm? Are they hockey farmers?”

“Yes, they farm hockey, because that’s a thing in Canada,” he joked.

“Wait, if basically your whole family has played in the NHL, our son is going to have to be a hockey player. And Eloise is a Staal, so she obviously has to play hockey too.”

“Or she could be a figure skater like you. Or both. Though they don’t have to play hockey, I’d be okay with that.”

“Yes, but you teaching them to play hockey would be so cute!” I smiled and snuggled closer to him. “You’re going to be a great dad.”

“And you will be an excellent mom.”

“You think so? Even after what I told you about not really wanting kids?” I sat up and looked at him.

“Once you have them in your arms you’ll change your mind. And it’ll be hard, but we’ll get through it.” He pulled me close and wrapped his arm around me, kissing the top of my head. “I love you.”

I smiled and looked up at him, “I love you too.”

-

Brandon and I have been so happy the past few days. I feel like everything I had been worrying about have just disappeared. Even though so many things are still uncertain, like when and we’re I will be having the twins, or where we will be living next season, none of that matters any more. Being with Brandon I realized that however ‘happy’ I thought I had been with Sid, it was nothing compared to this. It’s like he and I are made for each other.

In a couple of days I have to leave him to go home for a few days. My mom has talked me into coming home for the birth of Cliff and Maria’s child; she thinks it would be ‘good practice’ for me or something. Maria has insisted on having a water birth, which sounds gross because you’re basically giving birth in a big bath tub.

Ew. We’ll see how it goes.

Sincerely,

Emme

_______________________________________________________________________

May 14, 2014

Dear Diary,

Water birth is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen. I only saw the last half hour, but it was so gross.

Their baby, however, was very cute. Once she got cleaned off. They decided to go with Burgundy for her first name, I was shocked. At least they didn’t try to steal one of my names…

Maria and Cliff for some reason thought Burgundy needed three middle names (probably to make up for her weird first name), so her full name is Burgundy Eleanor Summer Rose Saxon. That’s intense.

I have been dubbed Aunty Em (from the Wizard of Oz) though it’ll be a few years before she calls me that.

My mom has not stopped crying. She is so happy about Burgundy and the twins, and she kept saying how much she wished my dad was here to see it all.

“He can see it mom, he’s in heaven,” I smiled as I realized how cheesy that sounded, and then braced for another round of tears, but she stopped crying.

“Emme that’s so sweet that you want to name your son after him. He would be so happy,” she looked like she was going to cry again, but didn’t. “And does little Teddy have a middle name?”

“I don’t know, I really like the name Maxwell.”

“That’s a nice name. You know, your father picked your middle name.”

“Really? I didn’t know that.” I was surprised, I thought my mom had picked both of our names.

“Yup, he thought Princess Diana was pretty hot, and this was before she died of course, but he told me it was because of our ‘British heritage’ or something,” she said rolling her eyes.

Oh, so that’s how I became Emmeline Diana Saxon.

“I thought Saxon was British?”

“It is, but very distantly. But I liked the name, so I agreed.”

“Did he pick Cliff’s middle name too?”

“No,” she laughed, “I chose his name because I had a crush on a guy in high school named Robert, we called him Robby, but that’s where Clifford Robert came from.”

I giggled, I’d never heard my mom talk about anything like that.

“When do I get to meet Brandon?” She asked and I suddenly stopped giggling.

“Um, I don’t know, soon probably. We’re going up to Alberta after the season ends, and you can visit,” I replied.

“I still don’t know how I feel about that whole situation,” she looked at me sternly, like she was going to scold me. “I was so shocked when you told me Sid wasn’t the father of your twins. But Brandon seems very nice, at least from what you’ve told me. And he was watching Pancake for you?”

“Yup, that’s how we… became friends.”

“Well, you were obviously more than just friends if you’re now pregnant with his children,” my mom replied sardonically, “Though he must really like you if he put up with that cat. Is she dead yet?”

I laughed, “No mom, Pancake is fine. And she really likes Brandon.”

“That’s amazing. She doesn’t like anyone. Except you,” She paused. “I just don’t understand why you and he were, you know, together, if you were with Sid.”

I rolled my eyes, “Ugh, mom, I told you, it wasn’t like that. Sid and I weren’t dating yet, and was just, I don’t know, ‘experimenting’, after being with Cam.”

She sighed, “Cam was such a disaster. I’m so happy you never got pregnant with him. What was he doing in Chicago?”

“I think he works there.”

“And you attacked him? So Chicago sent you to another team? I never quite figure out why you were in North Carolina.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much it. He was stalking me or something, and I was finally ready to confront him. But the Blackhawks management didn’t like that, so they sent me to work for another team. And it was nice in Raleigh, even in the winter it’s warm; warmer than around here at least.”

“And now you and Brandon are living together?”

“Yes. It’s very complicated, but I think we’ve finally worked everything out.” I paused and tried to change the subject. “I think we’ve picked a name for the girl: Eloise.”

“That’s a beautiful name. And ideas for her middle name?”

“We’re thinking Violet, but I don’t know. What do you think?” I asked her, hoping to distract her. And it worked, we talked about names for the next half hour.

I went to bed that night thinking about what my mom said about our middle names. The reasoning behind them seemed kind of trivial. I mean, that must have been some crush if my mom chose his name for my brother’s middle name. Or maybe it was more than a crush?

I don’t want to think about that, that’s weird.

Just as I was falling asleep, I got a text from Brandon.

*We should name Eloise Erica, after her father*

*I hope you’re joking, because that’s hilarious*

*yes. that was a joke : ) I miss you*

*I miss you too. I’ll be back in a few days*

*I love you*

*I love you too, B*


-

I spent the next two days with my mom visiting Cliff and Maria and baby Burgundy. Still not used to that name.

“What will you call her for short? Burg?” I joked with my brother, but Maria shot a stern look at me.

“We’re thinking of something like Gundy, perhaps,” she explained.

I looked back at Cliff and he shrugged.

Poor Gundy.

It wasn’t until I was holding her that I realized how cute and tiny babies were. She blinked at me with her cute dark eyes, and made adorable cooing noises.

“I think she likes you,” Maria said.

“And you get to have two of those in about two months,” my mom said smiling, and looking like she was going to cry again.

She didn’t cry, but Burgundy did. And I got to learn how to change a diaper. yay. (not)
And later I got to learn how to bottle feed, and then Maria insisted she demonstrate how breast feeding worked (I wish I had not seen that) and then I learned how to dress and bathe a baby.

Very useful things.

I return to Pittsburgh tomorrow, and I can’t wait to see Brandon. After seeing my cute niece I’m very excited for little Eloise and Teddy to get here.

Sincerely,

Emme

Notes

Thank you for the feedback!


I apologize, there is some overlap from chapter 8 of Redemption, so if you read both some of this might look familiar. Sorry!

Feedback and suggestions are welcome!