The Diary of an Unintentional Puck Slut

June 2, 2014

Dear Diary,

I finally heard from him! The day after we went to the movies (great movie by the way, even though I had to sit next to Nealsy and he kept flirting with this girl who was like, 15).

During the movie Brandon replied to the text I’d sent him earlier:

*Thanks. I have to go to San Jose for a day or two to sign stuff and whatever, and we’ll talk when I get back*

That’s all he said, and I didn’t know how to respond at first, so I just said ‘Okay, I love you’ (as if he didn’t already know that.)

To distract me, Caeleigh took me to the ice arena to help her practice. Even though I can’t skate, she wanted me to try to teach her some new stuff.

It worked okay, me yelling at her from the sidelines, but I really wanted to skate. I didn’t realize how much I missed it until I saw her out on the ice.

She sat next to me on the bench. “I brought your skates, in case you wanted to just skate around in circles or something.”

“Really?” I asked starting to cheer up.

“Yeah, it was Geno’s idea actually,” she said taking them out of her bag.

As I put them on, I realized my ankles were swelling quite a bit, due to the fact that I’m pregnant and all. “Wow, I didn’t realize my ankles were this bad.”

She helped me tie them, tight enough that I wouldn’t fall over, but not so tight that my feet would hurt.

“Where did you learn to skate?” She asked after a couple of minutes.

“Didn’t I tell you?” I asked as I tried, but failed, to spin.

She shook her head, “Did you take lessons?”

“I did for a bit when I was younger, but it got expensive. And I hated the competitions; they were like beauty pageants, and I hated that, even when I was seven. I still skated after that, but I didn’t take lessons. In college I became an ice girl at UNH because I had a class with one of the guys on the hockey team and he said I should try it. And then I wrote an essay about it for some English class, I didn’t think much of it at the time, but my professor said his wife was a former Olympic figure skater and was looking for someone to coach now that she was retired.”
“I remember you saying your coach was an Olympic figure skater. Did she ever win any medals? Is she someone I would have heard of?”

“Not any Olympic medals, no. Yuka Sato, she’s Japanese, I don’t know if you’d have heard of her. She coached Jeremy Abbott for a bit.”

“Really? I love him!” She paused, “Wait, is that why we got to meet him in Sochi?”

“Yes, and she tried to get me to do some pair skating with him when she first started coaching him, but I sucked at it.”

Caeleigh had a hundred questions about Jeremy, most of which I didn’t know (I only skated with him for a few days). After skating, she, Geno and I went out to dinner with Nealsy again.

It’s nice that they’re trying to distract me, and it is helping a bit, but I just want Brandon to come back so I can fix everything. Or try to, at least.

I think he’ll be back tomorrow, so we’ll see.

I’m really nervous. : (

Sincerely,

Emme

_______________________________________________________________________

June 7, 2014

Dear Diary,

The morning of the day Brandon was returning from California I was so nervous at breakfast. Caeleigh made sure I ate something, even though I didn’t feel like it. After breakfast she pulled me aside away from Geno and said she needed my help. At first I thought she was just trying to distract me from everything again, but I realized she was serious.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, and she kept looking over her shoulder.

“Geno wants me to go to Russia with him this summer,” she whispered.

“That’s cool,” I replied, but I could tell she was upset about it.

“No, it’s not,” she looked over her shoulder again, “I mean, it is, but I don’t want to spend the whole summer in a foreign country with people who don’t speak English.”

“Oh, I see,” I nodded as I understood her problem, “You want me to help you get out of it.”

“Well, sort of. I do want to spend time with him this summer, and I think it would be nice to go to Russia with him, but I don’t want to spend the whole summer there.”

“And he’ll be there all summer?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t really know what you want me to do…” I knew she must have some kind of plan.

“Okay, so , I was thinking that maybe,” she paused to think it over one more time, “you could tell Geno you wanted me to help you with the twins once they’re born, or something like that. That way I would have an excuse to come back in the middle of the summer.”

I thought about it for a moment, “That is a good idea except I have no idea what I’ll be doing. Once I talk to Brandon I’ll know if he and I are okay, in which case I’ll go to Canada with him. But if we’re not, I will probably go live with my mom or something, I don’t know.”

“But either way, you’ll need help, right?” She asked enthusiastically, trying to persuade me.

“I guess-”

“Yay!” She hugged me and then started pulling me into the kitchen where Geno was.

“Geno,” she said trying to look sad. “Emme says she needs me this summer.”

Geno looked surprised and titled his heard toward me, “What?”

I looked at her hesitantly, “Yup, I need Caeleigh to help me with my twins once they’re born.”

“I’m so sorry Geno,” she said giving him a hug.

“So you’re not come to Russia with me?” He looked confused.

“No, she can go to Russia, the twins are due in mid July.”

“So you will come to Russia, but leave in middle of July? And miss my birthday?” He asked her.

She started to say how sorry she was for having to miss his birthday, but I cut her off.

“No, you can’t miss his birthday,” I said to her with a smile, and she gave me a look.

“Then I’ll come after your birthday,” she said to him.

“When are you leaving for Russia anyway?” I asked them, realizing I might need to move back in with my mom soon if things didn’t work out with Brandon.

They both answered at the same time, and then gave each other a questioning look.

“Soon, a few days,” Geno replied, while at the same time Caeleigh said a few weeks.

I laughed, “Okay, well let me know when you get that sorted out.”

I got a text from Brandon and left them to bicker.

*Just landed in Pittsburgh, will be home in about half an hour, meet me there?*

I responded with a quick ‘okay’ and immediately began pacing. It wouldn’t take me half an hour to drive there from here, and I didn’t want to get there before him, but I also didn’t want to be late.

I packed my stuff, in case I didn’t need to come back here. When I went back to the kitchen to tell them I was leaving they were still trying to decide when to leave for Russia.

“Good luck, let me know how it goes!” Caeleigh said as I left.

I laughed, “I’ll probably be coming back here if it doesn’t go well.”

I drove slowly, trying to keep calm. I tried to go over what I would say to him, but my mind was racing. His car was already in his driveway, and I parked next to it. I sat in my car for a minute, trying to calm down.

Maybe he wouldn’t even be mad?

No, there was no possibility of that. I stood in front of his door, and I was about to knock when he opened the door.

He looked horrible, though I probably didn’t look to great either. I was startled and didn’t say anything at first.

“Hi,” he said, opening to door further as I walked in.

“How was California?” I asked, wanting to avoid the main reason I was there.

“It was good. That was one of the teams you liked, right?” He asked as we sat down on his couch.

“Yeah, mostly because I wanted to live somewhere warm, but I liked it even after talking to Mark about it.” Oops, I accidently brought up the one thing I wanted to avoid. Oh well, it had to happen at some point.

I think he could tell what I was thinking as he shifted in his seat and cleared his throat.

“I talked to Mark,” he said after a pause. “I wanted to hear his side of the story, not that I stayed long enough for you to explain what had happened. I’m sorry for leaving so suddenly, I just didn’t want to say or do anything I’d regret.”

I nodded, “that’s okay, you had every right to be mad.”

“Mark said it was his fault, and he apologized and said I shouldn’t be mad at you,” he paused, “Though he also said I should ask you what happened in Chicago and with the Staals.”

He looked at me, waiting for an explanation.

I scrunched my eyes shut for a second as I regretted telling Mark that.

“Well, in Chicago, I slept with Jonathan Toews, and you can probably guess what happened with the Staals.” I sighed, and knew there was no way he would take me back after knowing just how much of a whore I really was.

But when I looked up at him, studying his face for some kind of reaction, he didn’t even blink.

He nodded, “I figured as much.”

“I am so sorry-”

“No, don’t apologize for that,” he interrupted me, “We weren’t together then.”

“I guess I’m just ‘that’ kind of person, I don’t know how it got this bad.”

“No, I know you’re not like that,” he reached over to hold my hand.

Surprised, I looked up at him as he took my hand, “I don’t understand; why don’t you hate me?”

“Emme, I could never hate you,” he looked hurt that I could ever think that he hated me.

“But I slept with your brother?”

“That’s something I can get over; I know you didn’t do it to hurt me, or because you had feelings for him, or anything like that.”

I stared at him in shock for a minute. “Wow, I don’t know if I could forgive you if you slept with my brother.”

He laughed, “I’ll try to remember that when I meet him.”

I rolled my eyes, “You know what I mean.”

-

I’m not entirely sure everything is completely okay again, but at least I know he isn’t going to break up with me. Not yet at least.

We spent the rest of the day packing. He hopes to get back to Canada by the end of the week, so I need to figure out what I’m doing with my cat. She’s 15 now, and traveling isn’t her favorite thing. Poor Pancake.

I’m still very apprehensive about Brandon. He’s being very calm about everything and I feel like he’s only being nice to me because I’m pregnant. What if he’s waiting to break up with me until after the twins are born?

I don’t know. But for now I need to be on my best behavior. Especially if I’m going to be around his family all summer, including Mark.

Sincerely,

Emme

Notes

Thank you for the feedback! I always love hearing from you. : )

Also, Yuka Sato is a real figure skater from Japan, I did some actual research for this chapter!