The Diary of an Unintentional Puck Slut

July 5, 2014

Dear Diary,

So, our little ‘honeymoon’ had to be cut short.

Why?

Because my water broke. (!!!)

We were supposed to leave the next day anyway, but on Wednesday morning, while I was alone in our hotel room, my water broke. It wasn’t what I had expected; it wasn’t like any of the lame stuff you see in movies, but I won’t go into details. I had been experiencing minor contractions, more like tremors, for the past day or so, but my doctor had said that was normal. Brandon had gone out for a run, and he said he’d only be gone half an hour, but about ten minutes after he left it happened.

I tried calling him, but I guess he didn’t have service, so I just sat on the floor and cried. That was literally the most terrified I have ever been. I tried to calm down and focus on how frequently the contractions were occurring (there’s an app for that, actually).

As soon as I heard him unlocking the door to our hotel room I tried to get up, but realized I should stay on the floor.

“Brandon!” I yelled as he came in.

“What’s wrong-” He stopped, frozen, and starred at me as it hit him.

“I’m okay, but, my water broke,” it felt so weird saying that to him, as if it somehow made it more real.

“Oh my God Emme, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have left you alone,” he said as it finally hit him that this was happening, now.

“That’s okay, I’m fine,” I tried to smile, but another stabbing contraction caused me to involuntarily scream in pain.

“We need to get you to the hospital,” he said, his face turning pale.

He helped me up, and walked me to the car. When we got in he just sat there, not driving anywhere.

“Brandon?”

“I don’t know where the nearest hospital is. I mean, we’re in rural Alberta, it might be a few hours away.”

“A few hours?!”

“I’ll go ask the receptionist, will you be okay here?” He asked, and started to get out of the car.

I nodded and he ran back into the hotel.

While he was gone I had another contraction, and according to my app they were now five minutes apart. At first I was glad that Brandon didn’t have to see me having another contraction, but I realized it was only going to get worse. Much worse.

He came running out of the hotel and got back in the car. “I was right, there aren’t any hospital close enough for us to drive to, so we’re going to the local doctor who apparently delivers babies all the time, according to the receptionist.”

“Wait, I thought I was supposed to have a c-section?” I asked as we started driving through the little rural town.

“I don’t know, but we don’t really have any other options,” he said, and I could tell he was just as scared as I was.

The receptionist had called the doctor to let him know we were coming, and when we got there he was waiting outside for us with a wheelchair for me.

The doctor’s office looked like it might also be his house, and I’m pretty sure it was because his nurse was his wife and I thought I heard him say something about them sending their kids to their grandmother’s house because they didn’t want my screaming to disturb them.

Realizing I’d heard this, his wife apologized. “Don’t worry, it’ll be okay. You and your twins are both healthy so having a natural birth is a completely viable option. Most doctors usually suggest a c-section because it’s easier, but not always necessary.”

“But, you said something about screaming?” I asked as they helped me onto a bed.

“Unfortunately we don’t have much pain medication on hand,” the doctor explained.

What? You mean I’ll actually have to feel every contraction and every tear as not one, but two babies come out of a comparatively small hole in my body?

As if she’d read my mind, his wife tried to ameliorate my anxiety, “Don’t worry, it’s very stretchy. Besides, the female body was made for this.”

That almost made it worse.

I was about to ask if they had delivered many twins, but a contraction sent me into another fit of screaming.

After the doctor measured to see how much I was dilated, only six centimeters, he left to talk with Brandon. His wife talked to me about concentrating on my breathing and other tactics to help minimize the pain. She walked me through the whole process and I felt a little better knowing what was going to happen, but I was still really scared.

“I know this isn’t how you planned on doing it, but we’ll be here for you and you’ll get through this,” she said in a soothing tone that almost made me believe her.

Because I did not, in fact, believe I was going to make it.

Brandon came back and she left so the two of us could talk.

“So this is exciting,” he said, taking my hand.

“This is terrifying and I want it to go away,” I replied, looking into his eyes, and I could tell he was just as afraid as I was, though he was trying really hard to hide it.

“We can do this, okay? It’ll be hard, but we’ll get through it.”

“You keep saying ‘we’ but I’m the one who has to get torn in half without much pain medication.”

“I know, it’s not the same, but I am going to be here the whole time. And when it’s over, we’ll have two beautiful babies, so you have that to look forward to,” he smiled, but I shook my head.

“I can’t even think about that right now. What are we going to do with them? We don’t have any clothes or diapers or bottles or even a car seat. How are we going to bring them home with us?”

“I called my mom after talking to the doctor, and she’s bringing us some stuff. And, I thought we could use some extra help. Chloe might come too, but they won’t be here for a couple of hours.”

That made me feel a little better, knowing that we wouldn’t be stuck with two newborn babies by ourselves in a rural town that probably doesn’t have a store that sells baby supplies.

“This is my fault,” he said, “I should have known you might go into labor a few days early.”

“No, I’m the one who wanted to go on a trip. We couldn’t just visit every town that was within a short distance to a hospital, that would be boring,” I smiled, but was attacked by another contraction. I tried to focus on my breathing like the nurse told me to, and I think it worked a little because I only screamed a bit.

“I think your contractions are getting closer together, I’m going to get the doctor,” Brandon left before I could protest. I just wanted to hold his hand and make all of this go away.

The doctor returned and asked me a few questions while he measured again.

“It looks like you have dilated 2 more cm in the past hour, at this rate you’ll be at 10 cm by lunch,” he laughed as he got up. “You’re doing very well Emme, hang in there.”

And he was right; it was almost noon when he came in to measure again, and I had reached 10 cm. My contractions were close enough that we could start.

I thought I would try it for the first few pushes without the main medicine, but I immediately realized that was a bad idea. They hooked me up to the IV and it took a while to start working, and even when it did it wasn’t as strong as I would have liked it to be.

I’ll skip the details of the next few hours because they are gross, and a rather traumatic memory I’d like to forget. Brandon held my hand the whole time, and didn’t complain that I was practically breaking his hand by the end.

And the nurse was right; the most rewarding sound is hearing your child cry for the first time, and all of that pain and suffering I had experienced was erased as soon as I heard that tiny muffled cry.

However, that was just the first one. After Teddy was born, I had to prepare for round two.

I looked up at Brandon, who was still holding my hand. “This isn’t even your child? You don’t have to stay with me, you can hold him if you want to.”

“I’m staying with you; she’s just as much mine as Teddy is,” he smiled down at me as the nurse instructed me to push again.

The second one was much easier, mostly because everything was already stretched and stuff. Once she came out and got cleaned off, the nurse handed her to me. Brandon, who was holding Teddy, looked happier than I thought it was possible for any human to be. The nurse took our pictures and then brought in the forms for us to fill out their birth certificates.

With shaking hands, I wrote in Eric Staal as Eloise’s father. Brandon was happily filling out Teddy’s forms when he stopped. “What did we decide for his middle name?”

“I don’t know, I can’t think right now, just pick something,” I said, slowly falling asleep.

“Really? What if I chose something like, Optimus Prime?” He said with a grin.

I opened my eyes and looked up at him with a smile, “This is why I love you.”

He laughed, and I fell asleep with baby Elly in my arms. (I’m trying out different nick-names for her.)

-

His mom and sister didn’t arrive until late that night. When I woke up I was alone and someone had removed Ellie from my arms. I could hear people in the hallway, so I started to sit up, but I was pretty sore so I lied down again.

Brandon saw me moving and opened the door, “Hey, are you awake?” he whispered.

“Yes,” I replied, and he came in and turned the lights on.

“Good, because I think Ted here is kind of hungry,” he said lowering him onto my chest.

“Hungry?”

“Yeah, you’re supposed to, you know,” he pointed towards my breasts.

“Breast feed them?” I finished his sentence.

“Yeah.” Why was he being so awkward about breastfeeding?

Just as I was starting to feed him, his mom and sister walked in.

His mom was holding Elle, “Oh good you’re awake, I think she’s hungry too.”

“Oh, well I’m already feeding Teddy,” I replied, pulling the blanket up a little higher to cover my exposed breast.

“That’s why God gave you two of them, hun,” she said as she put Elle on the other side.

“I think I got it, thanks,” I replied, moving Elle’s tiny head so her mouth could find my nipple.

“Could I have a minute, alone,” I asked, and they started to leave, but I stopped Brandon. “Not you.”

“What is it?” He asked as he shut the door.

“Nothing, I just felt weird double breastfeeding in front of your mom and sister.”

“What does it feel like?” He asked after a pause.

I laughed, “Not what you’re thinking, it actually hurts a little. Like I’m being milked.”

He giggled, “you kind of are being milked.”

I rolled my eyes, “Brandon, you’re a grown up now. Act like one,” I smiled, and so did he, as we watched our two babies.

I spent the rest of the night with him at the doctors and his mom and Chloe went back to the hotel. The next day we packed up and started the long trip home. We took Ellie in our car, and they drove with Teddy. It was a long and interesting drive, and I’m so happy I didn’t have to look after both of them while Brandon drove.

And now I am home, and Teddy and Ellie are in their cribs (which Mark finished assembling for us) and I am in bed, going to sleep. For now at least. I wake up every half hour to feed or change one of them, but I don’t even mind not sleeping.

Actually, I think I hear one of them crying now.

Maybe Brandon will get it?

I’d better go check on them.

-Emme

P.S.: Teddy’s middle name is Brent. I asked Brandon what he had chosen, and he said he’d picked his dad’s name because he couldn’t remember what we had talked about. I like it, and it fit’s because my dad’s name was Ted. So, both of their full names are Theodore Brent Sutter and Eloise Darcy Sutter.
: ) So happy with the way things turned out!

Notes

These trade rumors about Sutter are genuinely giving me anxiety. It's lame, but I feel like I jinxed him because I wrote about him getting traded!

Anyway, I tried to write a happy chapter about him, hopefully it cheers you up, especially after last night's loss. That game was so much sadder than I had expected.

Feedback and suggestions are always welcome!