The Diary of an Unintentional Puck Slut

April 14, 2015

Dear Diary,

I feel like I need leashes or something for my children. They’re crawling too fast! Teddy thinks he can walk, but he always falls every time! I get so scared, but Brandon just laughs.

“He won’t get hurt, don’t worry,” he said as he helped Teddy up, holding on to his hands so he could try walking again. Luckily Ted is the kind of baby that giggles when he falls over. I guess that’s already a sign that he’s going to be a good hockey player (oh God I can’t think about that yet!!!)

Ellie’s more cautious, she knows what’s up. She watches him fall over every time he tries to walk, and she just laughs at him! So cute!! But soon they’ll be running around like crazy and I won’t be able to catch them….

I proudly wore my new Sutter jersey to the next game, and almost cried seeing Brandon on the ice with his ‘A.’ I shouldn’t get that emotional about it but it makes me so happy! It kind of represents stability, like we’re going to be here for a while. And I’m okay with that.

I have decided to step down from being head ice girl. I feel too old for that anyway, and after my knee injury I realized it just isn’t worth it. I still help coach them, but I don’t skate at games. Instead, the twins and I sit with the wags. Things are better between Tabea and I; she is no longer pissed that I set up her niece and Tomas since things worked out okay for them. I’m not in their ‘inner circle’ like I had been before, but I’m still ‘one of the girls.’ We get our nails done and go shopping, stuff like that.

TK’s girlfriend Brandi has been over to the house a lot lately, helping me with the twins and stuff, but mostly we talk about girl things. Like, weddings.

We were just sitting in the nursery with the twins, Ted was trying to walk, as usual, when she starts talking about how cute Brandon and I are together.

“Thanks,” I replied, I didn’t really know what else to say.

“When are you guys going to get married?” she asked, (jokingly, I hope). I laughed, and said I didn’t know if we were going to. She looked at me seriously, like I’d offended her or something.

“Why wouldn’t you? You already have two kids together?” She asked seriously.

“I- I don’t know, we’re happy with what we have right now,” I was caught off guard by her sudden change in tone.

“I don’t see why getting married would change that,” she replied, and I started to wonder why she cared so much.

“If it doesn’t change much, then I guess it doesn’t really make a difference if we’re married or not,” I said defensively. I didn’t know why I was having to defend my life choices to someone who was usually so nice to me.

“Tyler and I want to get married before having kids,” she replied in a tone that implied she felt better about herself than me because of that.

“So you two want to have children?” I asked, and she nodded.

“I do, and I want to get married, I just don’t know what’s taking Tyler so long,” she looked sad, and almost scared.

“So long to do what? Propose? You know, girls can ask their boyfriends to marry them, it’s not illegal,” she gave me a nasty look when I said that, like it was a disgusting idea.

“I could never do that, it would embarrass him too much. I mean,” she chuckled/snorted, “Would you ask Brandon to marry you?”

“Sure, if I was ready,” I shrugged. I didn’t see why I wouldn’t. She looked at me in shock, mouth open, as she tried to comprehend that.

“But you’re not?” She finally asked once she’d recovered.

“Not what?”

“Not ready to get married?” She asked, and I thought about it. I don’t really know what was keeping me from being ready to get married, but no, I was not ready.

“No, and I don’t think he is either,” I said, and offered no further explanation. Honestly, I don’t know what’s keeping us from getting married. I think we just need time, that’s all. We don’t talk about it, but it’s obvious. I mean, less than a year ago I slept with his brother! It doesn’t get much worse than that. “Have you talked to Tyler about it?”

“No; we always said we’d do it someday, but it’s been… I don’t know how many years.” She sighed impatiently and looked down at Ellie squirming in her arms. “I just don’t want to wait more.”

“Then talk to him!” I laughed. “Maybe he feels the same way, or maybe he needs a nudge in the right direction.” She said she’d try. After she left, I casually brought it up at dinner with Brandon. He stopped eating, and looked thoughtful for a moment, before laughing.

“What?” I asked.

“Why do girls talk about this kind of stuff?” he asked teasingly.

“I don’t know. She brought it up, not me,” I replied. “You looked like you were going to say something.”

“I, um, no, I wasn’t,” he replied quickly and went back to eating.

“Brandon, you suck at lying.”

“I guess I can tell you, but it’s supposed to be a surprise for Brandi. They’re getting married next month in Hawaii.”

“Wait, how exactly is that supposed to work?” I asked.

“He and her sister planned it, and they’ll fly out there for a vacation, and then surprise her with a wedding,” he explained, and I could tell he thought it was a terrible idea.

“Oh my God please never do that to me. I would hate that so much,” I started laughing, and Brandon agreed with me. “Honestly, I would just want a quiet wedding, nothing fancy. Just family, you know?” Before I’d finished saying that, I realized what I’d just said, and froze. I was talking about my future, unplanned, unreal, wedding with my boyfriend of one year. Not something you’re supposed to do, Emme!

“Yeah, that would be much better,” he said casually, and we went back to eating, and not talking about weddings.

I guess me saying I would hate a surprise wedding didn’t keep Brandon from surprising me with something else.

I left him home with the twins while I went out with Brandi and a few other wags to get our hair and nails done, which was something we did pretty often, so I didn’t think anything of it.

However, when I got home, there was a mysterious car in our drive way. A brand new car.

“Brandon?” He came out of the house with a big smile when he saw me return, and he stood next to me and the new car.

“It’s yours,” he said proudly. “I knew you needed one, and I wanted to surprise you.”

“You wanted to surprise me?” I laughed, recalling our recent conversation about how I would hate a surprise wedding.

“I bought it before we talked about their wedding,” he explained. “I hope it’s okay, though.”

“No, it’s fantastic!” I hugged him and kissed his cheek. He gave me the keys and I unlocked it to look around. It was a very practical, stylish looking mom-car; my heart kind of hung a little when I realized I was the kind of person who drove a mom-car. You know, a mom.

But it was very nice, and I like my car very much! I made sure to properly thank Brandon once the twins were down for the night, something we didn’t have much time for lately. It’s kind of funny how much I’ve changed in that respect. Last year I was sleeping with half of the Pittsburgh Penguins, now I’m a mother of two, and completely devoted to one guy. But I’m happy, and I don’t think I could be happier!

Sincerely,

Emme

Notes

Sorry it's so short, and I havn't written in a while.
It's raining, so I'm writing a lot today.
Happy 4th of July! : )