The Diary of an Unintentional Puck Slut

Sept. 16, 2013

Dear Diary,

At first I regretted sleeping with Sid, but now I think I’m okay with it. He is the first guy I have (successfully) had sex with since Cam, and I think he was the right guy to do that with.

However (and there is always a however in this situation) I am also terrified.

What the hell do I do now? I mean, we live together. And he is also Sidney Fucking Crosby.

Yesterday was a little awkward at breakfast, and then we drove to Consol together. I tried to talk about anything except what had happened. I even asked him about hockey, which is something I try to avoid talking to him about (because I usually have no idea what he’s saying, but I’m learning).

The ice girls had to ‘share’ the ice with the guys, so whenever they had a break we would skate until they came back. It was kind of fun to watch them practice, (I think they were showing off a bit) but I really didn’t want to be around Sid.

I grabbed Caeleigh at lunch and hid (ironically) in the same closet Brandon and I had last week, and I told her everything.

I had to cover her mouth to keep her from screaming. I think she was borderline hysterical.

“What the hell do I do?” I asked once she calmed down.

“I don’t know!” She was still pretty shocked.

“I really, really am not looking for any kind of relationship right now. This is the last thing I need.”

“I think you need to tell Sid that soon before he starts having feelings for you or something.”

I nodded. That was actually really smart.

“Yes. I should do that. Now?” I asked. I needed to tell him as soon as possible so he doesn’t get the wrong impression.

“I guess. I mean, you could still be friends, but friends who have sex.” She offered.

“Like friends with benefits?” I couldn’t believe I was even saying that. But I did enjoy having sex with him. Maybe that could work?

“Sid seems kind of old fashioned. I wouldn’t put it like that, but just tell him how you feel and see how he reacts.” Caeleigh was so smart sometimes. (Unless she was around Geno, then she became a 14 year old girl).

We left the closet to find Sid and I ended up running into James.

“Hey,” he smiled. “I hope Sid wasn’t too mad about us drinking his beer.”

“No, he didn’t care, but I did have to eat dinner with the Lemieuxs and that was awkward.”

“I’m sorry,” he said putting his arm around my shoulders as we walked together. “How about I make it up to you by buying you a drink tonight?” He said stopping to look at me.

“Yeah, I like drinking, that would be fun.” I said smiling up at him.

“Awesome, I will text you later,” He smiled as he walked away.

I found Sid in the locker room still talking to reporters. As the last one left I quietly walked up and sat down next to him. “So, what can you tell me about this girl you’re sleeping with?” I asked in my best reporter voice.

He looked at me with confused smile, but I kept talking before he could say anything.

“Just kidding. But I would like to talk to you about that.”

“Okay,” he said as he went back to removing his equipment.

“It’s just that I’m not really, umm… last night was very spontaneous, and maybe it was a onetime thing, or maybe not. But I’m not looking for a relationship right now.” I smiled so he knew I wasn’t upset about it or anything.

I studied his face to see how he’d react, and I think he looked a little disappointed. Or maybe he was just upset about the fact that it was Friday the 13th and he’s superstitious as fuck.

“I’m glad you brought that up.” He said finally looking at me. “Because I was very surprised that you kissed me, and I really didn’t think about it at the time, but you might have meant it in a different way than I interpreted it.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I added with a playful smile, “I had a lot of fun, and,” I paused to look up at him, running my fingertips along his arm, “I wouldn’t mind if it were to happen again .”

I got up without waiting for a response, but I looked back and winked as I left the locker room.

His face was priceless. It was a mix of surprise, disbelief, and a tiny bit smug.

I was reading Jane Austen’s Persuasion for my Austen Lit. class when I got a text from James Neal.

*Still want to go out tonight?*

*yeah of course ; ) * I replied smiling to myself.

*Awesome. I’ll pick you up in a few hours. Like 9?*

I’m not sure if Sid was trying to avoid me or he was actually just busy, but I ate dinner alone. I texted him to let him know I was going out with a friend and he didn’t ask who (I really didn’t feel like telling him anyway).

When James said we were going out for a drink, I didn’t realize he meant getting into the most exclusive clubs in Pittsburgh. I’d never been to a club before, but I went to enough parties in college (maybe too many?) to know how to handle myself on the dance floor.

I had a lot of fun with James. He bought me all the girly drinks I wanted. One was even cotton candy flavored! By 1:00 AM I was really starting to feel it. I don’t normally get recklessly drunk, but when alcoholic drinks taste like candy it’s hard not to. At some point after reaching this stage, I decided I needed to have sex with James. I’m not sure why, but maybe after sleeping with Sid I felt empowered, like I had unlocked a new achievement. I pulled him away from some fake looking girl and dragged him over to a chair, pushed him in, and climbed on top of him. I started making out with him, grabbing onto his hair, muttering his name in what was probably supposed to be a sexual way.

He took the hint and got us out of their and into a cab. I continued to make out with him, and when I (for some reason) tried taking my dress off he stopped me.

“No don’t do that here, we’re almost to my house.” He reassured me. “Then you can take as many clothes off as you want,” He said with a naughty tone and continued kissing my neck, breasts, and collar bone while I played with his hair and tried to stay awake.

He carried me from the cab into his house and up to his bed. I am glad that he didn’t think to ask if I was too drunk because I probably was. He was also pretty drunk, but not the out of control type of drunk (like me).

Drunk sex was kind of disappointing. It wasn’t James, he was fantastic (for being that drunk).
I was drunk enough that I couldn’t feel my vagina. For real. That has never happened to me before! I’ve heard of it happening, and my face has gone numb before, but I’ve never had numb sex.

Quite disappointing.

I am also very disappointed in myself. That is not my usual behavior.

I still feel like myself, but I keep doing stupid stuff like that.

Has moving to the city changed me?

I was kind of boring before, so maybe change is good.

Yesterday and Saturday I did homework (boring) and then skated with Caeleigh. Sid was gone for their first pre-season game in Columbus, so I invited Caeleigh over for a sleepover. We watched girly movies and blasted Taylor Swift and painted nails. All stuff Sid would have hated if he were there.

Tonight is the first pre-season game, and the first time I skate in front of many many people and I am so nervous!

Sid told me not to think about it, just pretend they aren’t there.

He also reminded me that during intermission people usually get up and get food and stuff, so there will be less people.

Either way, I’m still nervous.

Sincerely,

Emme

___________________________________________________________________________________

Sept. 18, 2013

Dear Diary,

Skating in front of several thousand people was not as hard as I thought it would be. Once I was actually on the ice all of my fears melted away and we totally nailed Single ladies (I got to be Beyonce this time!)

Before the game I gave Brandon a good luck kiss on the cheek and I think it helped because he scored a goal! I think I might be his good luck charm.

As they were leaving the ice at the end of the first period Sid gave me a hug and told me he’d be watching. That made me feel a little better somehow, even though I was nervous about people watching me skate. But once I got on the ice and I saw all of the fan signs that said stuff like “marry me Sid” and “Sid, you can score with me” I laughed. I was actually sleeping with him (or at least I had once), unlike the hundreds of girls who threw themselves at him for an autograph or pictures, and I actually got to kiss him, and stare into his soft brown eyes.

I’m a pretty lucky girl.

After the game the team went out for drinks to celebrate their win. Caeleigh was determined that she and Geno would have sex that night, and in doing so she somehow talked me into drinking more than I should have. I feel like all of my bad decisions start with alcohol, maybe I should stop drinking?

I ended up having ‘celebratory sex’ with Sid. He said something like, do I get this every time we win?

I told him it depended on how well he played, and how much I’d been drinking. (I should really give up alcohol)

I spent yesterday at Brandon’s visiting Pancake and doing homework. I had my first essay due today and I wrote the majority of it yesterday (oops). We ended up watching more Jane Austen. This time we watched Sense and Sensibility (the one with Emma Thompson) and I somehow ended up sitting closer and closer to Brandon as the movie progressed. By the end of the movie I was leaning my head on his shoulder.

“Emme?” He asked turning to see if I was awake.

“Yeah,” I replied, wiping a stray tear from my eye before he saw it (the end of that movie always gets me).

“Are you crying?” He asked laughing. I hit him playfully.

“Shut up,” I said as I tried to get up, but fell down because my legs were asleep.

“Are you okay?” He said picking me up. He held me close and I could feel his heart beating.

“Ow, yeah my legs are just waking up and really hurt,” I tried to move my legs to make it stop hurting but that made it hurt more.

“How about I carry you, would that be better?” He asked smiling.

“Yeah, but where are you taking me?” I wrapped my arms around his neck and he laughed.

“Where do you think?” He laughed.

He carried me into his room and laid me on his bed. He climbed in next to me and started to kiss my neck. I thought about stopping him so I could finish writing my essay, but then I remembered how amazing it was last time.

I rolled over on top of him and started to make out with him. He began to take my shirt off and unhooked my bra while I took his shirt off. We were in the middle of taking our pants off when we heard a distinct ‘meow’ come from under the bed.

We both stopped and stared at each other for second.

“Pancake!” I leaned over the edge of the bed to look under. Brandon lay next to me and looked under his bed.

She saw us and hissed. “Pancake, no!” I scolded her.

We tried to entice her out from under the middle of the bed, but she wouldn’t move. Each time we tried to reach in to grab her she would attack our hands.

After a few minutes Brandon and I gave up.

“So, um, do you still want to..?” He asked.

“Not with my cat under the bed,” I said hitting him.

“No, of course not, but there’s the couch, or the shower, or even, the kitchen?”

“I don’t think I’m adventurous enough for kitchen sex,” I said putting my bra back on. “And I think you’re too much taller than me for shower sex.”

He looked disappointed, but he agreed. “Yeah you’re kind of short,” he said as he put his shirt back on. “Cock blocked by a cat,” he said laughing. “That’s a first.” We both laughed. Leave it to Pancake to ruin sexy times.

It was late, and I did need to finish my essay, so I went home.

I am actually kind of happy I didn’t have sex with Brandon. I’ve had a kind of itchy, burning/painful feeling in, um, my vagina area, and I’m not sure why. It started a week ago, and it’s been getting worse, though it didn’t hurt as much yesterday or today.

I’m going to the doctor tomorrow, I really hope I don’t have an STD.

That would be really bad.

Sincerely,

Emme

PS. But what else could it be? This sucks so much.

Fuck!

This is going to lead to so many awkward conversations : (

Notes

Edit: I accidentally deleted this story when I was trying to fix a spelling error in the title so I'm reposting all of the chapters. And I changed my user name, so don't be surprised.