The Diary of an Unintentional Puck Slut
September 24, 2013
Sept. 20, 2013
Nope, not an STD.
It’s almost worse because there’s nothing I can do about it.
I’m allergic to condoms.
I’m allergic to fucking condoms!!!!
This must be Karma somehow, for sleeping with too many hockey players in such a short amount of time. (Though Brandon and I have yet to actually complete it).
How have I never noticed this? When Cam and I had sex we never used them because he didn’t like them, and I was on the pill so it was okay.
My doctor put me on a new type of oral contraceptive that’s supposed to be much stronger, and she said that I should be okay if I’m really good about taking it every day at the same time (which has never been a problem).
The hardest part was telling Sid.
“Aren’t there other kinds of condoms? Ones that aren’t made of latex?” He asked after looking the condition up on his phone (I’m not sure he believed me).
“There are, but it’s not exactly a latex allergy. My doctor said it had something to do with the way it creates friction and reacts with the um, natural lubrication created by, the, um. You know. And I’m apparently allergic to artificial lube too, so that sucks.” Talking about sex with Sid was really awkward. Probably because he is so cute and polite (and awkward).
We left it at that. I think we both knew what this meant and we didn’t really want to go into too many details yet. He did seem to relax a bit when I told him that my ex boyfriend and I had hardly ever worn a condom in the nearly four years that we dated, and nothing bad ever happened.
I spent the rest of the day reading Jane Austen’s Persuasion. Nobody in her novels had problems like this. Instead they just waited months for a letter from some guy they met once and fell in love with.
The Penguins second pre-season home game is tomorrow, which means I have to skate again. I am feeling a lot less nervous, but I still spent most of Thursday at the ice working on stuff with Kate, the head ice girl, Caeleigh, Ashlyn, and a few other girls. Caeleigh came over after for another girl’s night, except this time we watched the Pens play the Blackhawks and talked about my weird allergy.
“The one good thing is that on this new birth control pill I will have super light periods, if any.” I said.
“I’m mad jealous,” Caeleigh replied.
“Yeah, except the side effects can be way worse than the normal pill. Like getting sick and stuff.” I explained. “My doctor said most people don’t like this medicine because of them, but in my case it’s better to have stronger medicine.”
When I tried to ask her about Geno she just blushed. “You didn’t, did you?”
“No,” she sighed. “But he said I was a better skater than you.”
“What?” I laughed. “I think he likes you. Or he knows nothing about figure skating.”
“Hey!” She said hitting me. “Just because your coach was an Olympic skater doesn’t make you better than me.”
“Whatever,” I said smiling, “That’s cute that he thinks that though.”
I’m starting to wonder if Caeleigh is going to visit every time Sid’s away. She picked out her favorite guest bedroom and has some clothes and stuff in it. We have a lot of fun talking about boys and clothes and stuff. Girly things.
I didn’t get a chance to tell Sid about my allergy until he got back from Chicago today. I think it deterred him from trying to sleep with me. I hope that’s just temporary because we had a nice pattern started. Every time they win a game.
There’s still tonight, we shall see…
Sept. 24, 2013
Sid, being superstitious, texted me around 11 Friday night.
*Are you still up?*
Of course I was awake, I’m a grad student and I always have a lot of homework. * Yeah why*
*Can you come here?*
Why was he texting me to come to his room? Did he fall out of bed and need my help?
I was surprised he was still awake, he had a 4:00 game tomorrow afternoon.
His door wasn’t closed all the way and when I knocked it opened. He was sitting on the edge of his bed (shirtless) with his back to me.
“Um hey,” I said starting to walk into his room.
He turned around and looked at me then smiled, “I like your pajamas,” he said laughing gently.
I blushed, “Thanks.”
“Why don’t you come over here and take them off?” He said, looking like he was trying not to laugh.
I laughed, but went along with it. I pulled off one of my socks and threw it at him.
“I was joking, but okay,” he said laughing as I pushed him back on his bed. I slowly pulled my shirt over my head, revealing that I was not wearing a bra. Sid looked very surprised in an innocent way, and it kind of turned me on. I leaned closer and he grabbed onto my left breast, taking my nipple in his mouth. He gently rubbed me through my pajama pants until I was grinding against his hand.
When he stopped I leaned back to look at him with a questioning look.
“I just wanted to make sure you were, you know, moist enough.” He was so awkward it was cute. I stood up and tried to take my flannel pajamas off seductively, but my legs were wobbly and I ended up falling on him. He laughed as he took his own shorts off. I climbed back on top of him straddling his erection and lowering myself onto him.
Judging Sid’s reaction, I don’t think he had ever had sex without a condom. He was much different this time, a little more wild and fierce. It was almost like he was a teenage boy losing his virginity (for the second time?) if that makes sense.
I asked him after as we were catching our breath what had made him change his mind.
“Oh, well, it’s nothing really,” he looked away. “You know how superstitious I am about stuff, and you said something last time about you having sex with me after every game we win. And then when we won the next game after that, so I thought… I don’t know.”
“That’s fine; I don’t mind being part of your weird superstitions,” I said smiling, “Especially if we get to have sex like that.”
I slept pretty well that night, and I think Sid did too.
The Pens won the next day against Columbus, so I knew what that meant. However, I somehow ended up going home with a different Penguin. Sid was taking forever with the post game interviews and Brandon offered to drive me home.
When we got to his car I changed my mind and asked him to take me to his house to see Pancake.
“Let’s hope she’s not hiding under my bed again,” he said with a smile.
She wasn’t, she was actually sitting by the door waiting for him to get home.
“Pancake!” I picked her up. “She never sits by the door waiting for me.”
“She probably wants me to feed her,” Brandon said finding the cat food and filling her food bowl. Pancake jumped out of my arms to find her food.
Brandon and I had dinner, and dinner somehow led to sex…
I remembered to tell him about my condom allergy before we started, he was a little confused but he didn’t really ask any questions.
For the first time, Brandon and I successfully had intercourse without being interrupted by my cat or anything else. It was fantastic.
It really was, not just because we actually did it, but the actual sex was fantastic.
I might have to visit Brandon more often…
I spent most of Sunday with Sid. After eating breakfast with Brandon he brought me home. Sid knew I visited Brandon often to see my cat, and he also knew Brandon had a girlfriend who he had been dating for several years, so he never suspected anything between Brandon and me.
The only reason I’m keeping it a secret from him is because I think it might make things difficult not only for me, but for Brandon and Sid because they’re teammates. They don’t need to know about that kind of thing.
Sid and I spent the day doing stuff around the house, and then I convinced him to watch Napoleon Dynamite with me after dinner.
After the movie ended Sid turned to me and smiled. “This is nice, I like this.” He looked so happy.
“What, the movie?” I asked, lifting my head from its resting place on his should.
He laughed, “No, this,” he said holding up our hands, fingers entwined. “And you, resting your head on my shoulder. I could get used to this,” He looked into my eyes, I could tell he really wanted to say something to me.
Unfortunately I knew what he wanted to say. I tried to change the subject by asking what he thought of the movie.
I think he took the hint because he didn’t mention it again that night.
Yesterday, (Monday) I woke up feeling dizzy, (I assume from my new medication) and hoped it would wear off before I had to skate at the game that night. They were playing the Blackhawks again.
I tried not to bother Sid, I knew he had a lot of pre-game rituals (which I am still learning) and I didn’t want to mess any of them up. Last week I bought the wrong kind of peanut butter. He said it was okay, but I could tell it really bothered him.
“Are you okay?” He asked at breakfast, I wasn’t eating it, just kind of staring.
“I’m just getting used to this new birth control medicine. It’s really strong.”
“That’s too bad. As long as it works, though, right?” He said half smiling.
I looked up at him and his crooked smile, “It better fucking work. I can’t even drink alcohol with it.”
“Really?” Sid asked surprised.
“I can have one glass of wine (or the equivalent) every few days,” I said still feeling very negative.
“That’s too bad. You can be our designated driver,” he said. His optimism was actually starting to bother me.
“Let me know when you’re leaving, I need a ride to Consol,” I said getting up, leaving my breakfast untouched.
“I should really get you a car,” he said between bites, “so I don’t need to drive you.”
“You don’t like driving me?” I asked pretending to be disappointed.
“It’s not that, I just feel bad making you get to the ice really early and then wait for me after games or practice. It’ll only get worse once the regular season starts.”
“You don’t need to get me a car, you’re already too nice to me. Besides, how could I ever repay you?” I didn’t want to talk about it anymore so I left before he could say something else sweet and nice like ‘you don’t have to, it’d be a gift’ or ‘you deserve it because you’re pretty and nice to me’ or something lame like that.
I felt better by the time we got to Consol. I told Caeleigh that Sid wanted to buy me car.
“Why not? It’s a free car!” She didn’t seem to get my point.
“Yeah, but then I’d feel like I owed him something. I already feel bad about living in his house completely free of charge,” I explained lacing up my skates.
“If Geno offered to get me a car I wouldn’t say no,” She said, smiling as she thought about it.
“Can you just fuck him already and get it over with?” She laughed at my brashness, but I couldn’t stand how cute and sweet they were together. Maybe I was just mad that she was happy with someone and all I wanted was to be on my own.
“Who’s fucking who?” The adorable Beau Bennett stuck his head around the corner.
Caeleigh blushed. “Nobody,” she whispered.
“We are,” I said ignoring her. “You and me, Beau-bear.” I stood up and walked over to him. “Come on, you know you want it,” I said jokingly winking at him. I wrapped one leg around his waist and grabbed onto his shoulders.
“Umm, yeah I just came to deliver a message from Sid,” he said breaking away from my grasp.
“Oh,” I let go of him, “what is it?”
“He just wanted to wish you luck.” He looked really awkward, but also super cute.
“Can you give him a message for me?” I asked.
“I guess,” he replied.
“Come closer, it’s a secret.”
He took a step closer, and I reached up and kissed him on the cheek. “And wish him good luck, too.” I said stepping back.
Beau blushed, “I’m not kissing him, but I’ll tell him that,” he said as he left.
“You’d better fucking kiss him!” I yelled after him. Turning around I accidently bumped into someone.
“Sorry, are you okay?” He said.
“Yeah, are you?” I asked, even though he was wearing full hockey gear and there was no way me bumping into him could have hurt.
He laughed, “Yeah I’m fine. Who were you telling Beau to kiss?”
“Sid,” I replied laughing.
“Oh, are you the girl that’s living with him? Emily or something?” He asked.
“Yeah, Emme, except I don’t live with him, I just live in his house. I’m like his live-in maid.” I explained.
“Wow, I wish I had a hot live-in maid like you,” he said with a smile as I playfully hit him.
“Shut up, do I need to have Beau kiss you too?” I joked, hitting him again, and then traced the ‘C’ on his chest with my index finger. “Oh, you’re, um, the captain of the Blackhawks.” I tried to remember his name. “How the hell is your last name pronounced?”
“Taves, like, ‘don’t taze me bro’” he said laughing. “But you can call me Jon.”
“Nice to meet you Jon; I won’t taze you, bro,” I said. “Good luck tonight.”
“Thanks, I look forward to seeing you skate, I heard you’re pretty good,” he said as he left.
I sat down next to Caeleigh, whose mouth was open in shock. “What the hell has happened to you?”
“What? I’m just being friendly.” Maybe a little too friendly?
“That was flirting, girl,” I sometimes feel like Caeleigh is a large sassy black woman trapped inside the body of a pale, skinny ginger. At least when she said ‘girl’ and when she gossips. It’s hilarious!
“Also,” she leaned over and whispered, “what is ‘don’t taze me bro’?”
Laughing I replied, “It’s an internet thing, look it up.”
So, maybe I should not have wished Tazer good luck, because they beat the Pens 5-2. And Sid was not happy.
First, he tried to say it was okay, it was just a pre-season game. But the more he talked about it, I realized he was trying to hint that he was mad at me. I didn’t tell him about my conversation with Jon because he might have actually evicted me for wishing the opposing team’s captain good luck. (and I certainly didn’t tell Sid that he’d called me hot.) (That might have led to some friction in the next Pens Blackhawks game) (Which I would love to see, actually!!!) (Could you imagine Sid and Tazer fighting!!!) (Actually, that’s be kind of hot….)
“We didn’t sleep together after our last win,” He finally said after rambling for a while. “I’m not blaming you, I just… I don’t know.”
“I understand that you’re superstitious and all, and I like that because it makes you predictable and I know what to expect,” I paused because I didn’t what to make him feel worse than he already did, “but you can’t blame this on me.”
“I’m not blaming you,” he said taking my hand, “Wait, you think I’m predictable?” He added with a crooked smile.
His smile always made me melt a little inside so I couldn't help but laugh, “Yeah, you’re starting to get quite predictable. For example, if I kiss you like this,” I leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek, “You’re going to blush and smile.”
He gave me a look as he blushed and smiled, “Hey, we have sex after the Pen’s win, not lose.”
“It was just a kiss!” I said wrapping my arms around him. “And a hug.”
“Okay, just a kiss and a hug. Good night Emme,” he said with a smirk.
Sid left for Detroit this afternoon so I made sure to be up in time to have breakfast with him.
I wasn’t really awake as I made his buckwheat blueberry and banana pancakes but I tried really hard to be nice to him.
“Can you drop me of at Brandon’s before you go? I’m going to visit Pancake for a while after Brandon leaves so she doesn’t get lonely.” I tried to look extra innocent so he wouldn’t think I was actually planning on screwing Brandon.
“Yeah, can you be ready in an hour?” Sid asked.
“Of course,” I said cheerfully giving him a peck on the cheek.
“Wow, you’re earlier than expected,” Brandon said as he opened the door still in his pajamas.
“Yeah, Sid’s going to the optional skate and he likes to get there really early,” I explained as I pushed passed him. As he closed the door I pushed him against it and leaned up on my tippy toes trying to reach his mouth but I settled for kissing his neck.
“Wow, you’re ambitious this morning,” He replied pulling me closer.
“Because we don’t have much time!” I explained between kisses as I tried to untie his pajama pants.
“We have over two hours,” He said trying to retie them.
“That’s not enough time!” I said kicking my shoes off.
“Not enough time for what?” He asked looking confused. (why did he have to make this so difficult?)
“Sex things,” I continued to try to undress him.
“What sex things?” He asked trying to stop me.
“All the sex things!” I said as I jumped up on him wrapping my legs around his waist, planting my mouth firmly on his.
“Wait, what?” He asked peeling me off and sitting me on the couch. “Are you okay?” He asked sitting next to me. He put his hand on my forehead, “Do you have a fever?”
“I’m fine, I just need some mind blowing, brain shattering sex,” I continued to try to molest him.
“What is wrong with you?” He asked trying to hold my hands still.
“I need you inside of me!” I shouted pushing him back on the couch and climbing on top of him.
“Wow, you are strong for such a little girl,” he said as he tried but failed to get me off.
“I’m not a little girl! I’m a young lady, and I have needs!” I continued to kiss his neck and chest and paw at his shirt.
“Um, okay. This is actually the weirdest thing to happen to me in a long time.”
I stopped and looked him in the eye, “All I can think of is sex! I don’t know if it’s a side effect of my new medicine or if I’m turning into a slut, but I want you. Right now.”
I don’t know if it’s because I actually gave him a straight answer or because he realized I wasn’t kidding, but he picked me up and carried me to his bedroom.
That was the first time I had proper rough sex. Like, ‘this is going to leave bruises and I’ll be sore for a couple of days’ kind of rough sex. Nothing kinky, just really rough.
I had Caeleigh pick me up from Brandon’s after he left and bring be back to Sid’s where we began our girly sleepover. She’s already asleep, and I’m going to sleep too.
Edit: I accidentally deleted this story when I was trying to fix a spelling error in the title so I'm reposting all of the chapters. And I changed my user name, so don't be surprised.